Any married couples split all expenses 50/50?

[RitaZ.]

Nothing is 50/50 and if people go into a marriage thinking it should be, then they are pretty much destined for divorce IMO

I agree.

In our marriage, it's our money.

How is sharing expenses 50/50 going to keep a couple from divorcing? Suppose one person is a big spender and the other one is thrifty and more responsible with money. Let's say that the big spender is responsible for part of the mortgage, but they don't have money to cover their share due to their 'big spending". What happens to the other person? Will she/he be stuck having to pay their partner's share to avoid losing the home or to avoid having a late payment? How's that fair? Talk about resentment. I can guarantee that a marriage like that wouldn't survive.

 

[maleficent1959]

My parents split expenses. Well, stepfather technically, but they've been married for 23 years. They have separate accounts and share the household expenses. They each make their own car payment. Whatever money each has left over is theirs to do what they want with it. A couple times my mom has given my dad money for "toys" he wanted.

DH and I used to have separate accounts and share expenses, but now I'm a SAHM so that doesn't really work for me anymore. Now I'm in charge of all the accounts.

 

[Aurora63]

I don't see how people could do it 50/50. If I'm your wife, you're going to help me out when I need help, and vice versa. We put all of our money into our checking or savings. They are all joint.

If my husband wanted to do this I wouldx have serious doubts about his committment.

 

[Disney Doll]

The "your money is my money throw it all it one account" system is what gets most relationships in trouble!

Actually, what's gets most people into trouble with money is not being wise about spending it.

Think about it for a minute....split everything 50/50. His money pays the electric bill, her money pays the phone bill. Well, what if "he" overspends one month, and doesn't have the money to pay the electric bill? Is "she" going to let them turn the lights off??? Of course not! She's going to pay it and then be resentful of him and his inability to wisely handle money. Or conversely, "she" overspends "her" money and can't pay the phone bill. Is "he" going to let the phone be turned off?? Obviously not. He's going to pay the phone bill this month, and be resentful of her and her inability to wisely handle money.

How folks decide to handle their money is their business, and if it works for them, then that's fine. However, look beyond the obvious his money/her money thing to the real issue, which is trusting the person you marry to hold up their end of the bargain.

 

[PaulaSue]

I can't believe that married people would do that (50/50 split). That is not what marriage means to me. I do believe the couple must have goals together and talk often to update. I do know a lot of families that each get an "allowence" of spending money a week that each can spend no questions asked and bigger purchases must be a together purchase.

 

[4greatboys]

Im with the he makes, I spend it group too!

We have had joint checking and savings since before we were married, we both put our paychecks in when I worked. It has worked out pretty good for us. Now Im a sahm mom so we only have one income to work with.
We do have discussions over the budget. What we want to pay off or save or whatever and maybe we are weird but we dont fight about money.

 

[JuliaEeyore]

I'll fess up! We actually do what conversationist suggests! Have been for five years!!!

We have three accounts... his, mine, and joint. We each get paid the 15th and 30th. We both transfer a certain amount of money into the joint account on each pay day that is a ratio that works since he makes a teeny bit more than me) and then all joint bills (dining out, mortgage, utilities) get paid out of the joint account.

We have joint credit cards, but we also have personal credit cards that we pay off on our own. We never feel accountable to one another, but at the same time, we have our joint account that we completely share. If we need to add more, we toss equal amounts into it...

I grew up with parents who nitpicked each others' finances to death. My mother was always accountable to my father for her purchases. I never wanted to feel like I couldn't buy a pair of shoes if I wanted to... and likewise, if hubby wants to buy something, he is free to! Works great for us.

I can imagine how this WOULDN'T work if I were a SAHW, but I won't be one. I will always work so I will always have an income.

Julia

 

[DisneyAddict_M]

My ex and I used to do that...and we still divorced. Actually, we started splitting, because he used to write out the checks and failed to pay my car insurance...so it got cancelled. That was the end of that.

 

[dopeys biggest fan]

What's mine is mine and what's his is mine.

Dude, we're married, we share everything.

 

[RitaZ.]

My ex and I used to do that...and we still divorced. Actually, we started splitting, because he used to write out the checks and failed to pay my car insurance...so it got cancelled. That was the end of that.

There it is.

 

[mbw12]

I think that each marriage should do what works for them! i know of many that do the 50/50 split and it works. And I know many that do the 'throw it all together" in one pot and that also works. I guess it just depends....it doens't mean one is better than the other.....but as long as you both are comfortable with the arrangement, than that is what matters!

 

[ncbyrne]

Seems to me that trying to keep track of who pays what and who used what and who pays this bil and who pays that would be more trouble than it[s worth. DH is charge of our finances. Both of our checks go into a joint account. He makes a whole lot more than I do at my p/t job anyway. He gives me an "allowance" that covers food, and my personal expenses +, plus we both charge on the Disney Visa (paid off each month in full). Works fine for me and I don't even have to think about bills.

 

[disykat]

I'll fess up! We actually do what conversationist suggests! Have been for five years!!!

We have three accounts... his, mine, and joint. We each get paid the 15th and 30th. We both transfer a certain amount of money into the joint account on each pay day that is a ratio that works since he makes a teeny bit more than me) and then all joint bills (dining out, mortgage, utilities) get paid out of the joint account.

I don't think you do - because you have a joint account - so you don't have to take each bill and split it down the middle. I think the way you do it is more like sharing the burden by pooling money for the bills, but having your own money too - totally different than a 50/50 arrangement for every bill that conversationist is suggesting IMO.

 

[antmaril]

We have several accounts. We both have checking and savings accounts. He has certain bills that he pays and I have bills I pay. We do not consult if we want to buy something, unless it's big. I never have to worry if has gone to the ATM or written a check. The accounts are actually joint, but we don't treat them that way. When we got out, we split the bill. We use our income tax return for trips. We have been married for 31 years, so I guess it's working

Some people say, "we share everything". Well, we share everything too. What's mine is his and vice versa.

 

[JuliaEeyore]

I don't think you do - because you have a joint account - so you don't have to take each bill and split it down the middle. I think the way you do it is more like sharing the burden by pooling money for the bills, but having your own money too - totally different than a 50/50 arrangement for every bill that conversationist is suggesting IMO.

Ooooh... good point. I guess I'm sort of in the middle then.

 

[cardaway]

I've seen the 50/50 split work before. Usually with couples who have spending issues. The even split keeps the bigger spender form going off the deep end, taking not only the shared expenses down with them, but also any chance the other spouse has to ever do/have anything fun. The opposite is certainly the fast track to divorce.

Personally I don't believe any couple needs to do anything beyond agreeing they will never buy anything that can't be paid off at the end of the month. Houses and cars being exceptions, but those can't be purchased without the other spouse anyway.

 

[Claire L]

Both DH and I work with fairly similar wages so we put the same amount each into the joint account to pay for the mortgage, household bills and food etc. We both pay for our owns cars, DH has a much flashier car than me! Then usually pay half for meals/evenings out and holidays, although recently I splurged on the hotels so paid the extra, which was fine by me
Claire