Just wanted to post an update....
It has been just about 2 months that our son has been on Abilify and the changes are nothing short of AMAZING! Yes, he will always have Aspergers but we believe he will learn to live with it and maybe some day not even need medication.
The last couple weeks of school were a dream come true. He PARTICIPATED in class activities....he VOLUNTEERED to do work...he INTERACTED with is classmates...he WROTE..(something extremely hard for him..) His teacher and I were in contact constantly through e-mails and it was so nice to get glowing reports instead of ones that started with..."I am sorry to say that Aaron had a bad day in school today..."
We went to Disney the day after the kids got out of school (6/19) and it was our BEST trip ever!!! No major meltdowns...no major arguments...he tried different foods...he made suggestions on where we should go and what we should do...he did NORMAL sibling fighting with his sister...he got involved in pin trading and had so much fun! It was great for him since it involved making eye contact with strangers...talking with strangers...and giving something up...what an experience for him!! And the cm's he dealt with were all so kind.
At home he has been ASKING to help out... I have taught him how to do the laundry and he also likes vacuuming. I have him and his sister in gymnastics camp 2 mornings a week and he has been enjoying that. (It is not competitive - just fun stuff including arts & crafts)
We have noticed more fears and anxieties coming out and we are not sure if it's the Aspergers or the age...or the fact that he now feels comfortable enough to talk about them where before he would just melt down. He has become much closer to his Dad (I swear Dad has AS too..) and they do more together. Some of his fears come out when Dad doesn't get home when he thinks he should.
During certain situations DH & I still wait for the meltdowns but they don't come. DS is more likely to come up with another plan if what he wanted didn't come through. Of course life is not perfect, because how boring would that be?

The kids still fight, but I am able to do more with them during the day because DS is more cooperative. Tomorrow he is going to the junior zookeeper class I signed him up for at the zoo in our town we joined this year. This is something he NEVER would have done before!
He had an appointment with his psychologist today and he is VERY pleased with how things are going - even he can see quite a change. Right now he is only seeing him every 2 or 3 weeks - it will most likely go back to weekly once school starts. He also sees the psychaitrist once a month to check on how the medication is going. DH & I both feel that DS is being watched and monitored closely. The last week of school we had a meeting with the "team" who had been helping him. Next year he will continue to have sessions with the counselor and have different academic counseling. We are also pleased with the help we have been getting from the school. He is on a ISP (Instructional Support Plan) and we feel comfortable with that.
I never, NEVER thought we would get to this point. I can't tell you how much our home life has improved. We went away for a couple nights last week (RI/CT) as a family and things went well. DS is tired from the medication and we need to work around that, but these days he takes an hour nap or so and he is fine. Not sure what will happen when school starts back up - that will be the REAL test.
I can certainly understand when parents don't want to put their kids on medication as it is such a scarey unknown. I put off getting him help for years and years as other people kept telling me that he would outgrow his behavior. I also kept thinking his behavior was my fault. Our family went through hell. MY DH was seeing a dr. to help him cope. I went to the school and broke down and told them we needed help. (they are the ones who set me in the right direction to get him evaluated) Our family could not go on the way it was going. We also have another child and it was affecting her life. Even at a young age she would say things like - "Now we can't go because Aaron is having a fit..:
I have also made friends with other women who have children like my son. It is nice to not have to explain things all the time.
Yes, life is good!
Jill