Any adults who were homeschooled?

[Lisa loves Pooh]

I bolded because there were plenty of rude comments made on this thread about the "terrible" public schools.

I am not sure what thread you are reading but except for ONE poster who later apologized, all anybody wrote was of their personal perception that led to their homeschooling decision. People homeschool for a variety of reasons and some of those reasons include a very poor school in their area.

It seems you have blown the one comment out of proportion and attributed it to everyone having that same attitude.

Your comment was over the top accusatory on what had remained a civil discussion.

 

[Buckalew11]

Oh and I will add that because we chose to do private school instead of public school, we were also judged terribly for that. It was really rough. And it was private, christian school and the meanest, rudest people were fellow church members.

Still, I was not prepared for what I encountered when we decided to homeschool. I got a lot of support here that really helped me. I'm not sure that I had ever really experienced a prejudice like this until we chose to HS. People would say the craziest things to me! Oh well, hopefully someday DD can greet the naysayers in the operating room. LOL

 

[kirbsam]

My 9 year old is the most offended by people questioning her homeschooling and she ends up giving really snarky answers when people ask.

She'll mess with them and say "School, what is that? I was just let out of the attic yesterday."

Or we look at each other and go "Shoot! I knew there was something we were forgetting today"

Or sometimes she'll say "I already graduated, I just have a growing issue but thanks for pointing out my difference"


I think the OP was open minded instead of starting the thread with an intent on judging homeschooling. There are some sensative homeschoolers but I am not one of them.

wow, maybe that is one reason people have different ideas about homeschoolers. with answers like that to questions about homeschooling, too bad she doesnt take the opportunity to educate.

 

[Planogirl]

I have seen threads slamming either homeschoolers or public schools but this one doesn't seem too bad...so far. I wouldn't homeschool myself simply because I know that it wouldn't work for DS or myself but I do remain curious about it.

I like the comment that we might know more homeschooled adults than we realize. Good point.

 

[Lisa loves Pooh]

We made a point of politely answering questions and leaving them to their own conclusions. One thing that people regularly commented was on my daughter's manners and ability to communicate. While people sometimes were annoying, we always felt like we didn't want to lower ourselves to an unflattering level.

Hope this answers at least some of your questions.

Congratulations to your daughter!

I like what you said.

I do feel very weird about being asked about my choices. I would NEVER inquire in any discussion on why people send their kids to this school or that school. So for me it is awkward to get questions and sometimes makes me feel like a circus show versus a parent who made a viable and legal choice.

I'm not sensitive so much as I don't feel it is appropriate. And often--the questioning begins to sound very biased and it makes me uncomfortable.

Just the other day I got told a "negative" story about the public school by two friends whose children go there--I expressed my shock as any parent would over what was said--but kept my lips zipped otherwise. These are good friends, but again--it would have been inappropriate to involve myself in a discussion about a school problem that they had little control over. The school is otherwise excellent and problems have been dealt with. But as a homeschooling parent--my 2 cents would have been unsettling and inappropriate to provide.

I respect my friends enough to not question their choices. I will ask how the kids are doing and typical school chat stuff like that. I just wish that instead of being asked..."How in the world are you going to teach high school????"...when my daughter is in 4th grade, I'd be asked..."So how is DD enjoying her classes? What is she learning this year? Oh that's fascinating, how are you teaching that?"

In other words--I wished my non-homeschooling friends respected me in the same way.

 

[horseshowmom]

Congratulations to your daughter!

I like what you said.

I do feel very weird about being asked about my choices. I would NEVER inquire in any discussion on why people send their kids to this school or that school. So for me it is awkward to get questions and sometimes makes me feel like a circus show versus a parent who made a viable and legal choice.

I'm not sensitive so much as I don't feel it is appropriate. And often--the questioning begins to sound very biased and it makes me uncomfortable.

Just the other day I got told a "negative" story about the public school by two friends whose children go there--I expressed my shock as any parent would over what was said--but kept my lips zipped otherwise. These are good friends, but again--it would have been inappropriate to involve myself in a discussion about a school problem that they had little control over. The school is otherwise excellent and problems have been dealt with. But as a homeschooling parent--my 2 cents would have been unsettling and inappropriate to provide.

I respect my friends enough to not question their choices. I will ask how the kids are doing and typical school chat stuff like that. I just wish that instead of being asked..."How in the world are you going to teach high school????"...when my daughter is in 4th grade, I'd be asked..."So how is DD enjoying her classes? What is she learning this year? Oh that's fascinating, how are you teaching that?"

In other words--I wished my non-homeschooling friends respected me in the same way.

I understand completely (in fact, I elaborated in an edit to my post just a minute ago). All I can say is (and this is meant tongue in cheek and not in an ugly way at all), living well is the best revenge!

 

[raysnkaysmom]

First off, Horseshowmom...thanks for so many enlightening answers!! Sounds like your daughter has done wonderfully

I think the average person knows more adult homeschoolers than they may realize. I may know where someone went to college or see their degree on a wall, but most people do not hang up high school diplomas or talk about their high school experience. Unless the topic comes up, I have no idea if the adult I'm dealing with went to public school, private school, or was homeschooled. I think most of us are the same way.

Thats an interesting thought/point. I was under the impression homeschool just recently became more popular (only having heard of it the past few yrs) so I am curious to know how many adults I know who have been homeschooled...

 

[Lisa loves Pooh]

Thats an interesting thought/point. I was under the impression homeschool just recently became more popular (only having heard of it the past few yrs) so I am curious to know how many adults I know who have been homeschooled...

It seems that homeschooling kind of "took off" in the past 20-30 years.

I have been researching homeschooling since 2002 but have been teaching only since 2005.

IIRC--
*when tragedies began happening in schools (like Columbine)--it seemed to be a catalyst to the seeming "recent" popularity of homeschooling. I don't think it was growing at as quick a rate prior to the tragedies.
*The economy also may have influenced decisions in the past year as homeschooling can be much cheaper than private school. This is true for my area for most curriculums that I am familiar with.
*NCLB was also another reason. (I'm not commenting on it here--but it is true that there are many parents who do not like NCLB and how it has affected education.)

A positive point:
Since the movement has been growing for 20-30 years, many homeschool families have paved the way for what is now available on the market. There is so much out there to accomodate almost anything you want to teach. It is simply amazing. The resources make it easier to homeschool. The stories you hear about the parents who began homeschooling 20 or more years ago, they really had to figure it out as they went. Now--that isn't necessary unless it is something the parent wishes to do.

 

[Buckalew11]

I respect my friends enough to not question their choices. I will ask how the kids are doing and typical school chat stuff like that. I just wish that instead of being asked..."How in the world are you going to teach high school????"...when my daughter is in 4th grade, I'd be asked..."So how is DD enjoying her classes? What is she learning this year? Oh that's fascinating, how are you teaching that?"

All I can say is get ready. I've heard it 1,000 times so far. LOL
And DDjust made a 98 on her quarterly Chemistry Exam! I'm doing OK, thank ya very much. Esp. for someone whose never had chemistry (except a little bit in beauty school).

I understand completely (in fact, I elaborated in an edit to my post just a minute ago). All I can say is (and this is meant tongue in cheek and not in an ugly way at all), living well is the best revenge!

This is my thoughts exactly. It makes it all a lot more peaceful!

 

[teacups]

For those that take offense at homeschoolers being defensive about perfect stangers stopping to question our chidlren.... stop and put yourself in our shoes for just a minute.

I go into the deli at lunch time to order food. The man running it asks my kids why they are not in school. (That alone is none of his business, its lunch time, he sells lunch) and then proceeds to quiz my kids on mutiplication tables in front of everyone. He quick asks about 10 problems in a row with no time to answer, using my kids as pawn for his attempt at humor. My son was in 1st grade and knew very few times problems. My daughter was mortified to be questioned like that.

Another time, buying groceries on a weekend the cashier asks my daughter what school she goes to. When my dd told her HS, she said "oh thats too bad. I bet you dont have any friends then."

These are two examples. I could give you 20.
Enough is enough.
I do not blame the pp for her humourous answers to such stupid questions.
Just becasue I HS does not mean I am obligated to explain my choices or help recruit others. If you want to HS and ask me for advice you bet I'll help in a heartbeat. But If you are being a jerk at my kids' expense, you better fully expect to walk away from our conversation with your tail between your legs and your face red because I am ready to play your game... and beat you at it!

Most people are nice and respectful.
Many people are rude idiots.

I think some people assume that all homeschool parents are meek, timid, shy and afraid. Umm.... we are just like everyone else. We do not like our kids to be screwed with.

 

[mariolatry]

I've worked in health care for 12 years and have known at least 10-15 adults who were homeschooled. I don't know if that is a skewed sample or not. I can share my experiences with these. They were all highly goal-directed people. When given a task, they jumped in and completed it. They were all able to work independently. Mostly of them were high energy and fairly sociable. They all had a deep base of knowledge in their fields.

The only semi-downside I noticed is that some of them had trouble doing things that weren't planned to their desires or strengths. You know how, in the work world, you sometimes have to do things that don't make sense, are less than effective, or operate on someone else's input and timetable? That's the kind of stuff some of them had trouble with. They were so used to the flexibility of homeschooling that the rigidity that is sometimes required by the work world was difficult for them.


"Why are we doing it this way? It would be a lot more efficient to just do it this way. "

"Well of course it would but if we were efficient, we wouldn't be a corporation. The manual says this so that's what we do."

It's good that they could come up with their own assessment and plan for the situation (creativity, critical thinking) but their difficulty in "going along with the plan" kind of slowed everything down. I would also say that some of them had trouble working with people who were quite different from them. I'm thinking, in particular, of group or committee work with specific co-workers when I worked in the country psych hospital or the nursing home where I worked with quite a few Cambodian immigrants.

Overall, my experiences were vastly positive. How much of this was basic personality type vs. homeschooling experience? It's hard to say. I have friends now who are home-schooling their kids and I can see that it is absolutely the right choice for their family. I realize that I should be donning my flame-retardant suit for posting this, but you asked for experiences.


ETA: I thought of some more positives. All of my homeschooled co-workers were very eloquent when needed. They could vocalize their thought processes well. On review, I could recall 6 PTs/OTs/Speech therapists, 2 doctors, one nurse, one chaplain, one phlebotomy tech, and one unit clerk so obviously these people were able to progress through higher education.

 

[Buckalew11]

I think a lot of that is personalities.

The man down the street from me got fired for following the orders at work and doing a job his own, more efficient way. He'd actually got away with it for quite some time but I guess the wrong person discovered him. So, he bought his own business, serves on the school board and otherwise is highly functioning in society, lol. He wasn't HSed.

My DH is also like this. It is his personality. He'd rather just be assigned the job and get it done. To heck with all these meetings where you just meet to meet and don't ever get around to doing anything. He needs to get over that before retirement, lol. I always say, "You get an "F" in plays well with others."
But it is his personality type. And I would think it could come from being able to do things your own way also but I think most of us can adapt and go by the book. Certain personality types seem to have trouble.

My 1st encounter w/ a HSed child was years ago. His little friend was sitting next to him at a ballgame and he was playing some handheld game. They were probably about 5 or 6.
Anyway, the friend asks to take a turn and the little HSed boy yelled, "No!" Other boy says, "Please?" HSed boy says, "No! I don't have to share! I'm HSed." I was like, "What the heck??!!"
But, just like saying only children are selfish, spoiled etc. etc. it the same with HSed or anything else. It is just wrong to assume or try to fit anyone in any type of box.

Oh, and I realize you weren't saying "all". You were just sharing your experiences.

 

[teacups]

I dont have to share, I'm homeschooled? OMG I would have laughed out loud if I heard that I bet the other boy was thinking "What the heck is a homeschooled?"

 

[metime]

I bolded because there were plenty of rude comments made on this thread about the "terrible" public schools.




I think the OP clarified that her ONLY experience with HS children have given her the impression that these particular children were not where they should be. Based on what she posted I can understand that. If the only PS schooled children you ever met seemed lacking of basic skills wouldn't you wonder?


Sorry but that is just plain rude. I don't condone peole being nasty to my children but I certainly don't find it to be a great quality in being nasty to someone who is asking a question. I too have asked questions that may seem rude to a HS but I really had no idea and was trying to learn. I do think that people who make comments are way out of line though so I can understand your annoyance at that.


FTR- I think HS can be great as long the child's needs are met.

So how would you feel if you worked from home and everywhere you went people said with a questioning glare, "Shouldn't you be at work today?"

Then when you say you work from home you end up in a thirty minute conversation about what you do, why you do it, and how long you do it, what your experience is... and so on.

Lots of people also disregard that there is a 5,6, or 7 year old standing there and say the most narrow minded things. One woman looked at my daughter when she was 7 and said "you should go to regular school!"

Unless the question is from a truancy officer we don't have to politely answer that question. It is none of their business.

Why do people think children should have to answer any questions from a complete stranger? I see people being nosey as rude.

Sometimes we don't want to be everyone's example of a homeschooler. Sometimes we just want to go grocery shopping at noon and go about our day.

The bottom lline is that it isn't anyone's business and me taking my 8 year old to a movie at 11am on a shcool day does not mean they have a right to pry. I certainly don't feel I owe anyone an explination but I allow her to answer how she sees fit since she is usually the one being asked.

 

[Buckalew11]

Having the flexibility is wonderful. DD and I went raincoat shopping at about 2pm for her Friday afternoon for the football that night. Since I work from home and make my own schedule, it still felt like we were both playing hookie! lol

She also ATs with the college football team and I let her go help on "run 'til you puke" day. It was early on a Friday morning. We just rework the schedule.

Usually the college kids will ask about her not being in school and she'll just tell them why she's allowed to be there. Then they think I'm "cool" lol. I'm not though...I'm a scheduled freak. She may take Friday off to travel with the team for a game on Saturday but she knows she'll be hitting the books Sunday to make up for it.

 

[metime]

wow, maybe that is one reason people have different ideas about homeschoolers. with answers like that to questions about homeschooling, too bad she doesnt take the opportunity to educate.

Sometimes I really don't feel the need to be someone's lesson for the day. I am also busy. You may have 30 minutes at every errand you run during school hours, but I don't.

I don't mind saying something if I were asked but the thing is I let my daughter speak for herself. She doesn't even say she is homeschooled so how would they know. I teach her that she doesn't owe an explination and she doesn't have to share personal information with complete strangers.

They don't have a way of knowing and I am not sure what you teach your children about strangers but I teach mine that they don't have to answer personal questions like that.

It isn't like she says she homeschools and flips them a bird.

 

[teacups]

Sometimes I really don't feel the need to be someone's lesson for the day. I am also busy. You may have 30 minutes at every errand you run during school hours, but I don't.

I don't mind saying something if I were asked but the thing is I let my daughter speak for herself. She doesn't even say she is homeschooled so how would they know. I teach her that she doesn't owe an explination and she doesn't have to share personal information with complete strangers.

They don't have a way of knowing and I am not sure what you teach your children about strangers but I teach mine that they don't have to answer personal questions like that.

It isn't like she says she homeschools and flips them a bird.

 

[TheDisneyGirl02]

I guess I have never understood comments like this. You have experienced a couple families that you feel are not making the most out of homeschooling (although playing outside during your definition of school hours and not knowing the months of the year in order aren't incriminating evidence). From that, you seem to question if there are any "success stories" or if it is all "negative."



Public and private schools are not perfect. Some should be closed permanently. Some teachers should be banned from classrooms forever. Our schools are failing our children every single day in this country. But one would be foolish to think this was the case in every school. Of course there are success stories. Do you honestly think the same can't be said for home schooling? Do you honestly believe there aren't any success stories?

Bolding is my own.

I understand that public and private schools are not perfect, but neither is homeschooling. Nothing is perfect when it comes to education - you do what is best for your family.

So you are saying that I was failed by the public school I went to? I have to say that I do take offense to that statement. My father and sister are both public school teachers and are wonderful at what they do. I don't believe for a second that they are failing their students. The school I went to wasn't perfect, but it did prepare me for college and what was ahead.

As far as homeschooling- the one thing that I wish would be mandated for every student, regardless of where they are educated would be to take the state standardized testing that public schools have to take (and are greatly judged on). To me, that would be the only fair way to judge students regardless of where they learn.

 

[browneyes106]

I've worked in health care for 12 years and have known at least 10-15 adults who were homeschooled. I don't know if that is a skewed sample or not. I can share my experiences with these. They were all highly goal-directed people. When given a task, they jumped in and completed it. They were all able to work independently. Mostly of them were high energy and fairly sociable. They all had a deep base of knowledge in their fields.

The only semi-downside I noticed is that some of them had trouble doing things that weren't planned to their desires or strengths. You know how, in the work world, you sometimes have to do things that don't make sense, are less than effective, or operate on someone else's input and timetable? That's the kind of stuff some of them had trouble with. They were so used to the flexibility of homeschooling that the rigidity that is sometimes required by the work world was difficult for them.


"Why are we doing it this way? It would be a lot more efficient to just do it this way. "

"Well of course it would but if we were efficient, we wouldn't be a corporation. The manual says this so that's what we do."

It's good that they could come up with their own assessment and plan for the situation (creativity, critical thinking) but their difficulty in "going along with the plan" kind of slowed everything down. I would also say that some of them had trouble working with people who were quite different from them. I'm thinking, in particular, of group or committee work with specific co-workers when I worked in the country psych hospital or the nursing home where I worked with quite a few Cambodian immigrants.

Overall, my experiences were vastly positive. How much of this was basic personality type vs. homeschooling experience? It's hard to say. I have friends now who are home-schooling their kids and I can see that it is absolutely the right choice for their family. I realize that I should be donning my flame-retardant suit for posting this, but you asked for experiences.


ETA: I thought of some more positives. All of my homeschooled co-workers were very eloquent when needed. They could vocalize their thought processes well. On review, I could recall 6 PTs/OTs/Speech therapists, 2 doctors, one nurse, one chaplain, one phlebotomy tech, and one unit clerk so obviously these people were able to progress through higher education.

I have seen the same things happen with people that were homeschooled. One of my close childhood friends who was also a neighbor had difficulty getting to used the set schedules in college and in the workplace. He was homeschooled by his mom for 12 years and he had a hard time having 6 instructors in college for the first time. He dropped out of college after a year and went to tech school to be an electrician. He said that there he still had difficulties have different kinds of teachers and having a set schedule for assignments. The same thing also happened with a woman who my brother attended college with. She was very intelligent woman who scored high on ACT/SAT's but she couldn't get used to the idea of having teachers that weren't like her parents. She ended up transferring to a smaller college.

There are homeschool success stories like others have mentioned here. I worked at accounting firm a few years back and one of the CPA's was homeschool during high school.

 

[Mouse House Mama]

I am not sure what thread you are reading but except for ONE poster who later apologized, all anybody wrote was of their personal perception that led to their homeschooling decision. People homeschool for a variety of reasons and some of those reasons include a very poor school in their area.

It seems you have blown the one comment out of proportion and attributed it to everyone having that same attitude.

Your comment was over the top accusatory on what had remained a civil discussion.

I don't feel I blew anything out of proportion. There was more than one snide comment. I don't think everyone has that attitude at all. I do think it was over the top of a poster to complain about how the OP asked her question. Seriously? The OP was curious and thought that someone might be able to enighten her. Instead she was scolded because of how she asked the question.

Congratulations to your daughter!

I like what you said.

I do feel very weird about being asked about my choices. I would NEVER inquire in any discussion on why people send their kids to this school or that school. So for me it is awkward to get questions and sometimes makes me feel like a circus show versus a parent who made a viable and legal choice.

I'm not sensitive so much as I don't feel it is appropriate. And often--the questioning begins to sound very biased and it makes me uncomfortable.

Just the other day I got told a "negative" story about the public school by two friends whose children go there--I expressed my shock as any parent would over what was said--but kept my lips zipped otherwise. These are good friends, but again--it would have been inappropriate to involve myself in a discussion about a school problem that they had little control over. The school is otherwise excellent and problems have been dealt with. But as a homeschooling parent--my 2 cents would have been unsettling and inappropriate to provide.

I respect my friends enough to not question their choices. I will ask how the kids are doing and typical school chat stuff like that. I just wish that instead of being asked..."How in the world are you going to teach high school????"...when my daughter is in 4th grade, I'd be asked..."So how is DD enjoying her classes? What is she learning this year? Oh that's fascinating, how are you teaching that?"

In other words--I wished my non-homeschooling friends respected me in the same way.

Now maybe I can give you a perspective of why people ask you those questions. They are curious. I will be the first to tell you that if my friend was HSing I would ask questions because I would genuinely want to know. Not because I am secretly comparing what the kids are doing. I am still curious about how HS families set up their classrooms, how they work various lessons at the same time for different age groups, how they manage their time, how they separate school from daily life etc. I am intrigued by it. At this time it is not the right choice for our children but I like to keep my options open. I personally am not asking to be insulting. It is simply something I know little about and you can't just read a book about it. I want to hear from real parents how they do it. When people ask "how are you teaching that?" I don't think they are being mean. I think that they, like I, can't imagine teaching a subject that they have trouble with. Now I know from reading various threads that there are many ways for a parent to learn with their child but to some it is inconceivable. I am terrible at math. I don't know how I would teach my children math. I would ask you because you have experience and maybe it would give me that "aha!" moment to realize that I do have the ability to teach them. Make sense? HS is not something that everyone really understands. Anything that is not mainstream will cause people to ask questions and sometimes even be rude. Just check out any breastfeeding thread! I don't think their rudeness is okay but the questions, even if some are ridiculous, are what might make someone see things differently. I know it is annoying but that is how change slowly takes place.
I wasn't trying to be confrontational at all so please accept my apologies.

For those that take offense at homeschoolers being defensive about perfect stangers stopping to question our chidlren.... stop and put yourself in our shoes for just a minute.

I go into the deli at lunch time to order food. The man running it asks my kids why they are not in school. (That alone is none of his business, its lunch time, he sells lunch) and then proceeds to quiz my kids on mutiplication tables in front of everyone. He quick asks about 10 problems in a row with no time to answer, using my kids as pawn for his attempt at humor. My son was in 1st grade and knew very few times problems. My daughter was mortified to be questioned like that.

Another time, buying groceries on a weekend the cashier asks my daughter what school she goes to. When my dd told her HS, she said "oh thats too bad. I bet you dont have any friends then."

These are two examples. I could give you 20.
Enough is enough.
I do not blame the pp for her humourous answers to such stupid questions.
Just becasue I HS does not mean I am obligated to explain my choices or help recruit others. If you want to HS and ask me for advice you bet I'll help in a heartbeat. But If you are being a jerk at my kids' expense, you better fully expect to walk away from our conversation with your tail between your legs and your face red because I am ready to play your game... and beat you at it!

Most people are nice and respectful.
Many people are rude idiots.

I think some people assume that all homeschool parents are meek, timid, shy and afraid. Umm.... we are just like everyone else. We do not like our kids to be screwed with.

Teacups I completely agree with you that your children should never have to put up with anyone making fun of your children. I too would have told the man quite colorfully what I thought of him. I don't think someone making innocent conversation by asking why your child isn't in school today is reason to ream them. Of course if they make rude comments then I wholeheartedly agree with you.
Just so you know, parents of kids who go to PS get the nonsense too. They get it from parents of kids who go to Private School. Nothing like being told that they would NEVER send their kid to your child's school district because there are only heathens there! Well, not those words exactly but you get what I mean.
So overall, I really think schooling is a personal choice. That doesn't mean that I am not curious about other types of schooling than what I have chosen. So know, that if you meet me and I ask you a question it is not out of snarkiness. It is out of genuine curiosity. I like to learn.