Any adults who were homeschooled?

[honugirl]

I think you have to pick what's best for your child. I've met some really great homeschoolers and I've met some real duds which you're going to find everywhere.

The big problem I've seen is that many of the teenage homeschoolers I've met have a real attitude these days. They think they're smarter than you and they let you know it! They talk down to you. It's very off putting. I don't know if that's just a characteristic of being highly intelligent that they have poor social skills or if it's part of their homeschooling. The teens that I deal with that are public schooled seemed to be much more relaxed around various groups of people and are able to speak to them on their level.

I also used to deal with another group at homeschool skate. That was the only time I could skate with my power skating instructor. I used to get the oddest questions from them. Ones that if they sat there for a second and thought about it, they'd get the answer. I was 25 at the time and one girl looks at me and says, "did your mommy drive you here?" She was about 10 or 11 at the time. She saw me walk in with my car keys and the week before that she saw me get out of my car.

But I do see quite a few home school kids that are actively involved in the community, which is a good thing. I also see them pursuing what they are passionate about. I think like anything else, there has to be a balance.

 

[MiniGirl]

Bolding is my own.

I understand that public and private schools are not perfect, but neither is homeschooling. Nothing is perfect when it comes to education - you do what is best for your family.

So you are saying that I was failed by the public school I went to? I have to say that I do take offense to that statement. My father and sister are both public school teachers and are wonderful at what they do. I don't believe for a second that they are failing their students. The school I went to wasn't perfect, but it did prepare me for college and what was ahead.

As far as homeschooling- the one thing that I wish would be mandated for every student, regardless of where they are educated would be to take the state standardized testing that public schools have to take (and are greatly judged on). To me, that would be the only fair way to judge students regardless of where they learn.

Bolding mine.....

I agree with a lot of your statement. No system of education is "perfect," and there will never be a perfect system. I also have no problems with most of the individuals we encountered while in the public school system. Both of my daughters had wonderful teachers. I had more of a problem with the "system." The attendance policies. The homework demands. The endless fundraisers. Things like that -- not so much the individuals we dealt with. I am a product of public education, and I, too, did just fine in college and beyond. That is just not the path we have chosen for our girls -- for now at least.

However..... I couldn't disagree more with the part of your statement I bolded. In Florida, our students take the FCAT, and the schools begin "teaching" it from the first day in Kindergarten. From day 1, they are learning how to fill in bubbles and take the test. In later years, they are taught the material that is on the test. I have no doubt that my dds would not score as well as some of their peers because we were not privy to the things on the test. However, last year, we focused on American history and this year we are focusing on world geography and cultures, and I have no doubt that my girls could hold their own in these subjects. You say taking this test would be the only fair way to judge how they're doing, but in truth, it couldn't be more unfair.

 

[BelleWDW]

My kid's best friend in 8th grade was "Homeschooled" for the high school years. But from a lady who did this for kids who were kicked out of traditional schools. He only was schooled 4 hours a day-about 3 years. he never had a circle of friends-whicj is VERY important in those Teen years.

My son developed a wonderful circle of friends at his High School and drifted away from this young man. I see him driving around in a hot rod, yunky car now and then-dressed in those laborers shirts with the name sewn on-he never went to college.

 

[Buckalew11]

Bolding is my own.

I understand that public and private schools are not perfect, but neither is homeschooling. Nothing is perfect when it comes to education - you do what is best for your family.

So you are saying that I was failed by the public school I went to? I have to say that I do take offense to that statement. My father and sister are both public school teachers and are wonderful at what they do. I don't believe for a second that they are failing their students. The school I went to wasn't perfect, but it did prepare me for college and what was ahead.

As far as homeschooling- the one thing that I wish would be mandated for every student, regardless of where they are educated would be to take the state standardized testing that public schools have to take (and are greatly judged on). To me, that would be the only fair way to judge students regardless of where they learn.

In TN they take TCAPS. DD's never taken a TCAP test but she has (sinceK) always taken a nationalized test. Why do state's make up their own test anyway? Why doesn't a 3rd grander in FL take the same same test as a 3rd grader in TN or the one the 3rd grader in MD takes? I've always wondered that.
I'm just curious.

I would always want my child to be tested so we know where she stands. Testing isn't the be all, end all in my book but I like to use it as a guide. Besides, being able to take a test is important. I want DD to do as well as possible on ACTs and SATs.

I think you have to pick what's best for your child. I've met some really great homeschoolers and I've met some real duds which you're going to find everywhere.

The big problem I've seen is that many of the teenage homeschoolers I've met have a real attitude these days. They think they're smarter than you and they let you know it! They talk down to you. It's very off putting. I don't know if that's just a characteristic of being highly intelligent that they have poor social skills or if it's part of their homeschooling. The teens that I deal with that are public schooled seemed to be much more relaxed around various groups of people and are able to speak to them on their level.

I also used to deal with another group at homeschool skate. That was the only time I could skate with my power skating instructor. I used to get the oddest questions from them. Ones that if they sat there for a second and thought about it, they'd get the answer. I was 25 at the time and one girl looks at me and says, "did your mommy drive you here?" She was about 10 or 11 at the time. She saw me walk in with my car keys and the week before that she saw me get out of my car.

But I do see quite a few home school kids that are actively involved in the community, which is a good thing. I also see them pursuing what they are passionate about. I think like anything else, there has to be a balance.

You driving/car key story made me LOL. Not a homeschooled kid but a little boy who is a client of mine has done the same type of thing. I cut his hair. He doesn't realize I am an adult and am 40+ years old. He'll say, "Where's your sister?" (and means my DD). He'll see DH drive up and say, "Your daddy is home!" I love this kid. He's my favorite client!
I think kids don't always "think" or maybe just don't put you on an older level or something. My niece used to call me and ask if I could come over and play Barbies with her. I'd say "No, Krista, I need to cook dinner."

 

[raysnkaysmom]

Having the flexibility is wonderful. DD and I went raincoat shopping at about 2pm for her Friday afternoon for the football that night. Since I work from home and make my own schedule, it still felt like we were both playing hookie! lol

She also ATs with the college football team and I let her go help on "run 'til you puke" day. It was early on a Friday morning. We just rework the schedule.

Usually the college kids will ask about her not being in school and she'll just tell them why she's allowed to be there. Then they think I'm "cool" lol. I'm not though...I'm a scheduled freak. She may take Friday off to travel with the team for a game on Saturday but she knows she'll be hitting the books Sunday to make up for it.

As common as homeschool is nowadays, I would never tell a kid "Shouldn't you be in school?", because I either assume they are homeschooled or out for a dr appt or something like that...

 

[Lisa loves Pooh]

As far as homeschooling- the one thing that I wish would be mandated for every student, regardless of where they are educated would be to take the state standardized testing that public schools have to take (and are greatly judged on). To me, that would be the only fair way to judge students regardless of where they learn.

I disagree--it is not a fair way. Homeschool is not by definition "public school at home". If it were, then requiring the "same" testing would be fair.

However--even in the more strict states with specific subject requirements, it would not be fair to require a student to take the same tests as public student b/c the subject matter may be taught differently or even a different order.

For example, many homeschoolers teach history chronologically. The children are not at a deficit and if following the classical model they will have learned an overview of all of history from the beginning until present day in four years. But--for a child who is doing Story of the World and is only in their 2nd year--they wouldn't have studied the American Revolution yet. (We don't use SOTW--so I'm throwing out a more "recent" event in American History). Depending on the grade--if you pluck that child into a state test where the children for that given academic year have covered that topic, the child will test and possibly do poorly. It proves nothing as the child's curriculum will cover that topic within two years in full detail.

It would be unfair to obligate testing for a curriculum the homeschool family isn't modeling.

My daughter does Math U See. She also takes a standardized test (not our state's FCAT) by our choice.

Her Math score dipped this year. The reason: Multiplication is taught all together--single digit to triple digit in the 3rd level while Division is taught all together in the 4th level. She is instructed that if she doesn't know something to skip it and she skipped lots of problems in math for that very reason. It would be unfair to hold her to the state standard where they mix multiplication and division together and then judge my teaching on that standard when we use a very valid and legitimate math program that just teaches mathematics in a different manner/order.

Private schools also teach differently and in our state, they do have to do standardized testing. But they do not have to do the state mandated test. (So our parochial school at our church uses Iowa
I believe.) We use Stanford Achievement.

I think it is fair that the state have "some" involvement for holding parents accountable. But we have been led to believe that a bubble test is the ONLY way to do that. It isn't.

 

[Lisa loves Pooh]

Now maybe I can give you a perspective of why people ask you those questions. They are curious. I will be the first to tell you that if my friend was HSing I would ask questions because I would genuinely want to know. Not because I am secretly comparing what the kids are doing. I am still curious about how HS families set up their classrooms, how they work various lessons at the same time for different age groups, how they manage their time, how they separate school from daily life etc. I am intrigued by it. At this time it is not the right choice for our children but I like to keep my options open. I personally am not asking to be insulting. It is simply something I know little about and you can't just read a book about it. I want to hear from real parents how they do it. When people ask "how are you teaching that?" I don't think they are being mean. I think that they, like I, can't imagine teaching a subject that they have trouble with. Now I know from reading various threads that there are many ways for a parent to learn with their child but to some it is inconceivable. I am terrible at math. I don't know how I would teach my children math. I would ask you because you have experience and maybe it would give me that "aha!" moment to realize that I do have the ability to teach them. Make sense? HS is not something that everyone really understands. Anything that is not mainstream will cause people to ask questions and sometimes even be rude. Just check out any breastfeeding thread! I don't think their rudeness is okay but the questions, even if some are ridiculous, are what might make someone see things differently. I know it is annoying but that is how change slowly takes place.
I wasn't trying to be confrontational at all so please accept my apologies.

No worries.

I do think you misunderstood my post about my friends. I have no problems asking questions of curiosity. I do have issues with asking questions of doubt. I willingly respond to "how do you teach that" questions that pertain to the present. I feel that questions regarding what I will do for subjects that are 5-7 years away to be a bit upsetting b/c the question is asked with a tone of skepticism.

I try to be very careful to not be arrogant in how I respond--and sometimes when I have to respond to a "future" scenario with my "present" knowledge that it does not go over too well and the person thinks I am questioning their abilities or something.

I am--*awesome* at math. I SUCK at teaching the concept. I use Math U See b/c they teach the math the way that I understand it. There are video lessons and teacher manuals. We are taking a bit longer with multiplication than I had planned. But we had to introduce some techniques to reduce the incidents of careless errors. So far so good.

Not all curriculum works with each child. And some parents, if they have a weakness, they will solicit the assistance of a math tutor to get them over the humps of their own math deficiencies. (Similar with other subjects as well.)

 

[npmommie]

Bolding is my own.

I understand that public and private schools are not perfect, but neither is homeschooling. Nothing is perfect when it comes to education - you do what is best for your family.

So you are saying that I was failed by the public school I went to? I have to say that I do take offense to that statement. My father and sister are both public school teachers and are wonderful at what they do. I don't believe for a second that they are failing their students. The school I went to wasn't perfect, but it did prepare me for college and what was ahead.

As far as homeschooling- the one thing that I wish would be mandated for every student, regardless of where they are educated would be to take the state standardized testing that public schools have to take (and are greatly judged on). To me, that would be the only fair way to judge students regardless of where they learn.

She didn't say all public schools were failures, you didn't bold her next line, saying of course there are success stories, I don't think she was saying all public schools fail all kids, because of course we know they don't.

I also disagree with having HS kids take the state mandated tests. the purpose of those tests is to see how the school is performing really, that is why they teach to the test, they have to be sure the students pass or there are repercussions for the school.
it would not make sense for a HS student to take it since they are not being taught by those teachers at the school.

 

[Lisa loves Pooh]

As common as homeschool is nowadays, I would never tell a kid "Shouldn't you be in school?", because I either assume they are homeschooled or out for a dr appt or something like that...

That's kind--I am not always asked, but I have had more than my fair share of doubletakes.

We rode bikes to DD's violin lesson last week. We pass a school on the way and there were 2 PE classes. We got some stairs as surely some kids were wondering. On the way back, DD's neighborhood friend was shouting her name--We realized who it was and waved. The PE teacher looked at us with that "shouldn't you be in school" look of bewilderment.

I think DD's friend seeing her made her day--something different from the usual in 3rd grade.

 

[raysnkaysmom]

She didn't say all public schools were failures, you didn't bold her next line, saying of course there are success stories, I don't think she was saying all public schools fail all kids, because of course we know they don't.

I also disagree with having HS kids take the state mandated tests. the purpose of those tests is to see how the school is performing really, that is why they teach to the test, they have to be sure the students pass or there are repercussions for the school.
it would not make sense for a HS student to take it since they are not being taught by those teachers at the school.

See...I think this is exactly why they SHOULD take the test... They are monitoring the teachers at the school...shouldn't they monitor the teachers at home?
It's all still learning, dont' we need to know what's being taught and their level of comprehensioin, regardless of their learning atmosphere?

 

[npmommie]

See...I think this is exactly why they SHOULD take the test... They are monitoring the teachers at the school...shouldn't they monitor the teachers at home?
It's all still learning, dont' we need to know what's being taught and their level of comprehensioin, regardless of their learning atmosphere?

in my state we are required to cover certain subjects just as the public schools, but the difference is we can cover them how we want, which may mean a different curriculum or style, so no it would not be fair to take the same test as the PS school kids who are all taught the same curriculum the same way.

 

[Lisa loves Pooh]

See...I think this is exactly why they SHOULD take the test... They are monitoring the teachers at the school...shouldn't they monitor the teachers at home?
It's all still learning, dont' we need to know what's being taught and their level of comprehensioin, regardless of their learning atmosphere?

NO!

We do NOT use the same curriculum as the state. So we should not be required to teach the SAME test.

Subjects are taught in different ways depending on the curriculum.

My daughters learned reading with "Scaredy Cat Phonics"--an excellent program that was designed by an LD teacher and used on children whose parents were told by the state they would never read. Well, they did. My kids like the approach and that is what they used. They wouldn't know what a "long" versus "short" vowel sound is, nor is that critical for their reading development. They learn "brave" and "scared"--very cute program. Highly effective. My 4th grader is reading on a high level. 1st grader is still trucking her way through "a" and we are about to start the next vowel sound and the words that go with it.

My new 4th grader doesn't know a single problem in division (yet).

Should the state penalize me b/c she didn't know it last year and won't learn it until this year? Am I a bad teacher b/c I used my knowledge and research to choose a mathematics curriculum that delays the introduction by one year?

I do my "teaching" job differently than a public school teacher. It is unfair and impossible to judge "my" teaching by using a test that is designed to see how THEY are teaching THEIR curriculum.

Should I really face repercussions for not following my state's educational curriculum requirements for their students? Private schools don't even have ramifications and are permitted to choose different curriculum from the public school system.

 

[worm761]

Ryansnkaysmom~ you seem to be under the impression that homeschoolers don't have any laws that they have to follow. There are a ton of laws regarding homeschooling in each state. You can check them out at www.hslda.org. Most states do require some sort of standardized test but we get to choose which one. I personally will be using the IOWA tests. That is what DS private school used so I know his scores. In Florida we have to show progress each year. If you don't follow homeschool laws, you can lose your right to homeschool.

 

[horseshowmom]

Bolding is my own.

I understand that public and private schools are not perfect, but neither is homeschooling. Nothing is perfect when it comes to education - you do what is best for your family.

So you are saying that I was failed by the public school I went to? I have to say that I do take offense to that statement. My father and sister are both public school teachers and are wonderful at what they do. I don't believe for a second that they are failing their students. The school I went to wasn't perfect, but it did prepare me for college and what was ahead.

I can add a little bit of spice to the soup. As I said earlier, we homeschooled and enjoyed it tremendously. In addition to that, I've worked for our public school system for 24 years as a classroom teacher, a librarian, and in administrative type positions in the central office. My husband has taught for our school system for about 15 years.

We care about our students, our schools, and our community. Homeschooling was a choice that we made for our daughter. It was not a criticism of anybody else. It was a choice that we thought was best for our child (and it definitely did work out to her advantage).

As far as homeschooling- the one thing that I wish would be mandated for every student, regardless of where they are educated would be to take the state standardized testing that public schools have to take (and are greatly judged on). To me, that would be the only fair way to judge students regardless of where they learn.

The issue I have with that would depend on what the results were meant to be used for. I once had a conversation with someone in our central office concerning a homeschooled student who was coming back into the public school system.

The student scored satisfactorily on everything but was slightly below grade level in one subject. The "system" wanted to put her a grade level below where she currently was (due to those results). My question was whether they intended to take every student in the public school classroom who had performed slightly below grade level and move them back a year? The person I was having the conversation with tried to say that it wasn't the same thing. Of course, it was. I won, the student was placed at the correct grade level, and she went on to be on the honor roll every time.

That said, to each their own. I am not vehemently opposed to public school, and I truly can't understand why some are so vehemently opposed to homeschooling. As a former teacher, I can tell you many, many stories about students who performed very poorly in the classroom and who had parents who did not support their education. People are just people. There are some good things and some bad things in any of it.

 

[honugirl]

You driving/car key story made me LOL. Not a homeschooled kid but a little boy who is a client of mine has done the same type of thing. I cut his hair. He doesn't realize I am an adult and am 40+ years old. He'll say, "Where's your sister?" (and means my DD). He'll see DH drive up and say, "Your daddy is home!" I love this kid. He's my favorite client!
I think kids don't always "think" or maybe just don't put you on an older level or something. My niece used to call me and ask if I could come over and play Barbies with her. I'd say "No, Krista, I need to cook dinner."

Aww, that's cute! Hey, I'd give up cooking to play Barbie's any day, but that's me... You're probably right. I never really thought of it that way. The odd thing is that there was always a mix of people there and there were older home schoolers (16+) who drove themselves. Hm, the things that go on in the mind of a child...

 

[peyjax]

Ryansnkaysmom~ you seem to be under the impression that homeschoolers don't have any laws that they have to follow. There are a ton of laws regarding homeschooling in each state. You can check them out at www.hslda.org. Most states do require some sort of standardized test but we get to choose which one. I personally will be using the IOWA tests. That is what DS private school used so I know his scores. In Florida we have to show progress each year. If you don't follow homeschool laws, you can lose your right to homeschool.

See that is just the problem. Some do have regulations, a lot do not. The state I grew up in did not. I think that is why many have or had a bad view of homeschooling, including myself. I was friends with many homeschooled children. The mass majority were not good examples and were the kind that give homeschool the bad reputation it has with many. There was absolutley no regulation, it was just another way to drop out of school. The few that did it at a young age had extremely poor social skills. It was very obvious. To this day there is little to no regulation.

I have since moved to another state and it changed my view. Why? This state has regulations and the children are tested. This is what I was told and I see a huge difference in homeschooled children here than where I am from. I have learned to each his own. I just know I don't have the patience for it.

 

[teacups]

Teaching to a test in no great way of educating IMO.
Also, homeschoolers who do not teach. Not good.

I homeschool and I teach. I DO NOT teach to a test though. I think kids miss out when that technique is used, and I think if more parents really understood... they'd question it more.

If you do not homeschool, you more than likely do not understand how it works, so therefore might think about holding your opinion until you educate yourself on the subject.



Unsubscribing now.

 

[Quiksilvr]

This thread seems to have turned into a policy argument over homeschooling, which I don't think it's necessarily what the OP was intending. It also seems like a lot of the homeschoolers immediately go on the defensive when asked these kinds of questions. I think the questions are valid. I know it's hard to not get defensive when you're likely regulary challenged on your decision to homeschool. Still, people are curious, and if you immediately respond to their questions with defensive venom...people are going to go from being curious to being suspicious.

I was homeschooled for a couple of years, in the first big wave of people who got into homeschooling in the early 1990s. It was a good alternative for me based upon my situation at the time. As part of a homeschooling association, I definitely saw situations that were working and situations that were a joke. It worked for me because I was naturally inquisitive and loved to read. I got a lot of knowledge simply from reading books. My mother wasn't the best "teacher" in the proverbial sense, but she knew enough to put me in situations that would teach me things I needed to learn.

Now, many years later, I'm a lawyer with a pile of fancy degrees and a great job at a large, international law firm. For those of you worried about social awkwardness, I've even got a wife and friends (none of whom had anything to do with homeschooling or even know that I was homeschooled)!

Homeschooling didn't seem to hurt me. I think it just depends on the kid. I didn't need the structure the way some seem to.

 

[metime]

I do have to follow regulations. I have to submit and education plan and outline the curriculum I intend to use. I then submit a progress report or some form of assesment at the end off the year.

In the end I think my kids would be pretty angry adults if they were messed up from HSing and ultimately I am more accountable to them than the state. I'll let you know if they dis-own me in a few years and go into therapy but I don't think they will.

I don't make generalizations about hs and ps students because there are bad and good involved in both. I find that there are examples of poor social skills in both, and examples of poor education in both, and great examples of successes in both. All of which can be attributed to a number of other things like parent effort, personality types, or life scenarios that may or may not have much to do with how the child is educated.

None of my PS school friends question me about my choice, instead they call and say, "my child is having trouble in XYZ class. Do you have any ideas of what I can do to help her?"

 

[Lisa loves Pooh]

See that is just the problem. Some do have regulations, a lot do not. The state I grew up in did not. I think that is why many have or had a bad view of homeschooling, including myself. I was friends with many homeschooled children. The mass majority were not good examples and were the kind that give homeschool the bad reputation it has with many. There was absolutley no regulation, it was just another way to drop out of school. The few that did it at a young age had extremely poor social skills. It was very obvious. To this day there is little to no regulation.

I have since moved to another state and it changed my view. Why? This state has regulations and the children are tested. This is what I was told and I see a huge difference in homeschooled children here than where I am from. I have learned to each his own. I just know I don't have the patience for it.

May I ask which states?