Another would you be offended question

[MickeySP]

No, offense. Whether she meant us it to go to the JS, it doesn't seem that way.

I would take it as a nice gesture from a loving family member, not a slam.

Was there a message in the card? That would say more to me of motive.

 

[Gumbo4x4]

Well, if you can't talk to your immediate family about your life.. good and bad.. then that's an issue the hubby has to deal with on his own. You shouldn't have to couch what you say to your sister.

It sounds like they have a good relationship and Sis was just saying 'have some fun.' It would be the same as if she sent her a gift certificate for a full day at a luxury spa - same cost, different presentation. I bet it's the actual cash that bothered him.. not the surprise gift.

Did she get the money in enough time to make plans to go to the shore for the weekend? (If it was enough to cover it?) If it was, then I would have used the money to go to the shore.. it could have been her sister's way of saying, "I really want to spend the weekend with you."

That's what I'd wonder.


I wouldn't be offended. I know when my sister had her house fire, I sent a fee bucks & she was grateful, not offended


Edit: I'm pretty private with my $ situation. I've declined many invitations because of $, but I would never say that out loud.

 

[The Mystery Machine]

Could be I am reading my bolding wrong, but to me it means the sender sent $300.00 CASH for sis to make the trip to the shore, not to help out with bills or something else.

I'd go.

That is how I would read it as well.

 

[disneyfreakk]

Could be I am reading my bolding wrong, but to me it means the sender sent $300.00 CASH for sis to make the trip to the shore, not to help out with bills or something else.

I'd go.

I agree, this money was for the trip. If they decide not to go, then they should give the money back!

 

[declansdad]

I would be insulted unless it was sent as a birthday gift. Sending it out of the blue after that discussion is sticking your nose where it doesn't belong.

 

[Gumbo4x4]

I would be insulted unless it was sent as a birthday gift. Sending it out of the blue after that discussion is sticking your nose where it doesn't belong.

I can see how one would think that, but the gal opened herself up to that when she volunteered that money was too tight to make the trip. If you don't want folks IN your business, don't tell them your business

 

[disney4us2002]

Could be I am reading my bolding wrong, but to me it means the sender sent $300.00 CASH for sis to make the trip to the shore, not to help out with bills or something else.

I'd go.

I'm with you. Did co-worker gal go visit her sister? If no, then she should return the money.

 

[Bluestars]

I would not be insulted at all. I have gifted many things to my siblings over the years and if they were ever inspired to gift me something, I would be appreciative. That's the way our family is though. We do things for each other and none of us get offended at stuff like that.

 

[shortbun]

I think it's a nice thing for her sister to do.

Me too! Her sister wants to see her and they are family; they grew up together. I wouldn't want a friend doing that but my sister can pay my way anytime and visa versa. Hubby should chill, thank the sis with a big hug and let it go.

 

[declansdad]

I can see how one would think that, but the gal opened herself up to that when she volunteered that money was too tight to make the trip. If you don't want folks IN your business, don't tell them your business

Two siblings talking to each other about finances is not an open invitation to send money.

 

[Gumbo4x4]

Two siblings talking to each other about finances is not an open invitation to send money.

I guess that depends on your relationship. Maybe the other sister felt like that was her way of asking for help without actually asking for it.

But, I don't discuss finances with my sister. So, it's not a situation I'd ever expect to be in.

 

[declansdad]

I guess that depends on your relationship. Maybe the other sister felt like that was her way of asking for help without actually asking for it.

But, I don't discuss finances with my sister. So, it's not a situation I'd ever expect to be in.

Then maybe she should have asked if she could help.

 

[lisaviolet]

that's how me and my siblings roll also. LOL
We're having our family reunion in London this year, primarily because my great uncle is gifting the family with the air fare from JFK. no way am I not going.

How lovely Eliza.

______________________________________________

I've changed as the years have gone on. Earlier I would have struggled with such a gift.

But life is short and opportunities to be with family are priceless so good on the sister. Cutting back is cutting back but memories of time with family and friends sustain me through very difficult times, so I see those opportunities as very different choices.

 

[Planogirl]

I think that this was really nice of the sister. Hubby needs to just calm down and pay it forward at some point.

 

[mom2rtk]

I guess that depends on your relationship. Maybe the other sister felt like that was her way of asking for help without actually asking for it.

But, I don't discuss finances with my sister. So, it's not a situation I'd ever expect to be in.

Same here.

 

[declansdad]

I think that this was really nice of the sister. Hubby needs to just calm down and pay it forward at some point.

Why shouldn't he be offended by it? Why so dismissive of how he feels about it?

 

[ronandannette]

I would not be insulted at all. I have gifted many things to my siblings over the years and if they were ever inspired to gift me something, I would be appreciative. That's the way are family is though. We do things for each other and none of us get offended at stuff like that.

Agree. It's similar between us and my family and a select group of friends. It's not at all uncommon for us to be familiar enough with each other's situations to know when a gift would be useful and not at all uncommon for somebody to come up with a timely one without specifically being asked.

Two siblings talking to each other about finances is not an open invitation to send money.

Or maybe it is. You don't know their relationship.

Why shouldn't he be offended by it? Why so dismissive of how he feels about it?

Because 99.9% likely she was not intending any offence. Life's too short to take up offence where none exists.

Some people see money as just money - a resource to get what you want or need - not a measure of a person's worth or a way to control or manipulate others. The wife in the OP's post didn't give any indication that the sister implied anything negative about the husband's abilities nor did she attach any strings to the money (as far as we know).

 

[Scootypuffjr]

Family members give us air miles or money all the time to come visit, and when we have it, we do the same. I wouldn't think twice about taking the money and heading to the shore.

 

[declansdad]

Or maybe it is. You don't know their relationship.



Because 99.9% likely she was not intending any offence. Life's too short to take up offence where none exists.

You're right, we don't know the family dynamics at play so it is just as possible that the sister did do this knowing it would cause an issue.

In your opinion there was no offense intended but obviously the husband felt otherwise. In the end he is allowed to feel that way and no one here can tell him to "just get over it".

 

[Lisa loves Pooh]

You're right, we don't know the family dynamics at play so it is just as possible that the sister did do this knowing it would cause an issue.

In your opinion there was no offense intended but obviously the husband felt otherwise. In the end he is allowed to feel that way and no one here can tell him to "just get over it".

Well said.