Another Wedding Spinoff--Alcohol at Reception

[bcla]

I've never heard of a dollar dance. So the bride dances around and people stuff money in her apron? That seems....interesting.

I've also never heard of alcohol being served at a child's birthday party for the adults or baby shower. Graduation parties, sure. Adult birthday parties, of course. Weddings, absolutely. But a child's birthday party, say what? Probably just a regional thing.

I've been to a few children's birthday parties where alcohol was available for adults. Also a preschool camping excursion among families where we shared beer and wine. And it is a commercial enterprise, but I've seen beer and wine available at the concession stands when I took my kid to see Disney on Ice, along with parents even having them in hand. I joked with one dad about it, and he said it made the experience tolerable. They didn't have every alcoholic beverage stand open as if it were an NBA or NHL game, but they had the taps running at the regular counters. I have been to these venues for college basketball, and no alcohol was available at the request of the hosting team.

 

[VandVsmama]

Y'all are getting pretty emotional about your wedding booze! <-- oh and that's not coffee, it's Guinness. LOL. Here's a couple more in case anybody is thirsty. Or if you're not into drinking alcohol, here's some coffee instead.

But seriously, relax. This has been an educational thread to read and clearly there is a lot of diversity in all of our collective opinions on the topic. For example, we've learned that some wedding attendees would be personally offended if there's no open bar. Others feel that a cash/pay-yourself bar is ok, but others find it an affront to all that is good in the world. Others not only would have an open bar, but would have a marijuana bar, too. And on the opposite end of the spectrum, others would choose to not serve any alcohol at all.

I would say that next to religion and politics, the topic of whether or not to serve booze at a wedding (and if you do offer alcohol, what type, how expensive of a brand do you serve, and is it open bar or not) has to definitely be in the top 10 of controversial DIS boards topics. I can't figure out what would be #3 right under religion & politics...perhaps the question of which is better - WDW or DL?

5-10 years after the happy couple's wedding, NOBODY IS REALLY GOING TO CARE whether or not alcohol was served, what type it was, blah blah blah. Everyone is only going to remember the lovely time they had being there for such a special occasion and celebrating it with close friends, family, & loved ones.

 

[mummabear]

I've never heard of a dollar dance. So the bride dances around and people stuff money in her apron? That seems....interesting.

I've also never heard of alcohol being served at a child's birthday party for the adults or baby shower. Graduation parties, sure. Adult birthday parties, of course. Weddings, absolutely. But a child's birthday party, say what? Probably just a regional thing.

I've never seen an apron. You just hand your $ to the bride (or groom. These days, there's a line for both).

I too have never heard of an "open bar" or any booze at all at a children's birthday party, baby shower, or bridle shower. Kids birthday parties here aren't giant affairs, either. Usually, the parents host at home. Or, maybe you invite all the kids in class to the skating rink, or a smaller group to the bowling alley, or Skyzone.

My understanding is that the dollar dance is orginally French Canadian, guests used to pin money into her dress to dance with the bride.

As far as kids birthdays, my kids are currently 6,4&2. We have had beer/wine (and whiskey for me when I wasn't pregnant or breastfeeding ) at all their parties except the one at the zoo and the one at the pool.
I don't see the issue with parents relaxing with a drink while the kids go crazy on a bouncy castle

 

[nugov2]

As I said, if others want to drink that is their business and I don't say anything to them when I have been out with them. I used to play baseball and after a game we would go out sometimes. The others would drink alcohol and I would get something else. I did not say anything or do anything except enjoy the time. And not everyone who drinks drinks to excess. However, I guess I have had the misfortune to have had alcoholics around and have a hard time with them. If I have an event I have the options of not serving it just as if I went to an event that had it then I had my own drink and left it at that. I wasn't the one supplying it or dealing with it. Most times I would just leave after things got too bad. I have never told anyone they shouldn't drink that is up to them not me.

My dh's family really liked their alcohol and would "enjoy" it for every event. It was too bad though that their only thought wasn't the event but how drunk they could get. And they were not happy drunks. My husband does not drink and he is worse than I am when it comes to alcohol. A couple of people in my parents family as well liked to "enjoy". They really were not happy drunks.

When my son died my father in law had to sober up after a weekend of "enjoying" so that he could drive my mother in law up for the funeral. The first thing he wanted to know was where the bars were. He tried to give our two oldest kids drinks when they were one and two. I happened to come into the room as he was putting the glass to the one year olds mouth. I yelled and my husband came in. When he saw what was happening he told me to pack up our things (we were staying with them over Christmas) and we left. My fil told me that he never wanted to come to our house because we wouldn't serve him alcohol. That's right, his son wouldn't have it in the house.

So if I don't sound positive about alcohol so be it, but I won't stop you from drinking to have fun. But I won't pay for it. Sorry
tigercat

Those are people who suffer from an illness like people addicted to food or sex. Doesn't make any of those thing bad just because people will abuse them.

I get why you'd be hesitant to have alcohol at parties hosting people who are mostly all alcoholics and thats a really good idea since it sounds like that is the dynamic of your family, but again that is different from the harsh criticisms you gave of people who enjoy alcohol when they are at a party. I also assume from the way you describe your family all your friends and family realize you have a lot of alcoholics in your family and wouldn't be surprised that it isn't served.

Obviously when it is against your religion/beliefs/or because the majority of the family is alcoholics people won't be surprised it isn't served. I don't know about you, but I've never been to a wedding where I wasn't familiar enough to know those things.

When i hang out with the bride and groom and they drink with dinner all the time, when I go to their wedding and they are drinking, but still charging everyone to do so, that is when I find it inappropriate.

 

[CPanther95]

I would say that next to religion and politics, the topic of whether or not to serve booze at a wedding (and if you do offer alcohol, what type, how expensive of a brand do you serve, and is it open bar or not) has to definitely be in the top 10 of controversial DIS boards topics. I can't figure out what would be #3 right under religion & politics...perhaps the question of which is better - WDW or DL?

I'm waiting for the "Is it inappropriate for the bride to wear white if ....." spinoff thread.

 

[Turn the Page]

Wow you sound VERY judgy about people who drink. What the...? It IS legal you know. Good on your father-in-law. I would have been up in that room with all the other "alcoholic" refugees LOL.

My MIL is the same way. She told me she doesn't drink alcohol and disapproves of anyone who does because she has never known anyone who uses it that didn't abuse it. No one can quite figure out what she means by that. I asked DH and he says there were no alcoholics in the family so it's not like she was raised with an alcoholic parent or something. We just don't know why she says that. She doesn't keep alcohol at her house but I keep it at mine.

 

[RedAngie]

I would say that next to religion and politics, the topic of whether or not to serve booze at a wedding (and if you do offer alcohol, what type, how expensive of a brand do you serve, and is it open bar or not) has to definitely be in the top 10 of controversial DIS boards topics. I can't figure out what would be #3 right under religion & politics...perhaps the question of which is better - WDW or DL?

I figured there'd be a strong reaction when I started this thread. Thanks everybody for responding.

How about if I revive another thread about kids under 16 being invited to weddings?

My understanding is that the dollar dance is orginally French Canadian, guests used to pin money into her dress to dance with the bride.

As far as kids birthdays, my kids are currently 6,4&2. We have had beer/wine (and whiskey for me when I wasn't pregnant or breastfeeding ) at all their parties except the one at the zoo and the one at the pool.
I don't see the issue with parents relaxing with a drink while the kids go crazy on a bouncy castle

I went to a birthday party years ago at a Chuck E. Cheese's type place that served alcohol, and let me tell you, I needed it after 15 minutes of pure mayhem.

I'm waiting for the "Is it inappropriate for the bride to wear white if ....." spinoff thread.

If what? I'll let YOU start that one.

 

[sunshinehighway]

My MIL is the same way. She told me she doesn't drink alcohol and disapproves of anyone who does because she has never known anyone who uses it that didn't abuse it. No one can quite figure out what she means by that. I asked DH and he says there were no alcoholics in the family so it's not like she was raised with an alcoholic parent or something. We just don't know why she says that. She doesn't keep alcohol at her house but I keep it at mine.

She sounds like a barrel,of laughs.
My sister is the same. She was never a big drinker but her husband is an alcoholic so she's developed a disdain for any drinking. I guess it's easier to blame the alcohol than the man.
We went on an girls trip to Food and Wine a few years ago. Before we left I asked about any lunch pairings she might be interested in. Omg, I got a mini lecture about we could drink in her presence but she wouldn't be participating.
It set a wonderful tone for the trip.

 

[Turn the Page]

She sounds like a barrel,of laughs.
My sister is the same. She was never a big drinker but her husband is an alcoholic so she's developed a disdain for any drinking. I guess it's easier to blame the alcohol than the man.
We went on an girls trip to Food and Wine a few years ago. Before we left I asked about any lunch pairings she might be interested in. Omg, I got a mini lecture about we could drink in her presence but she wouldn't be participating.
It set a wonderful tone for the trip.

I bet. Yes, my MIL has some interesting perspectives on various things. My personal favorite is she refuses to keep any spices in the house, not even salt and pepper, because she thinks they are bad for you and she refuses to eat sugar but has no problem with fruit juice which she drinks daily. Granted, salt isn't good for you but otherwise spices are generally not a problem. Dinner is BLAND at her house.

 

[sunshinehighway]

I bet. Yes, my MIL has some interesting perspectives on various things. My personal favorite is she refuses to keep any spices in the house, not even salt and pepper, because she thinks they are bad for you and she refuses to eat sugar but has no problem with fruit juice which she drinks daily. Granted, salt isn't good for you but otherwise spices are generally not a problem. Dinner is BLAND at her house.

Omg, not to hijack the thread but is your MIL my sister ( probably not since my nephew is 12).
She's the same way with salt. I mean who cooks burgers on the grill and doesn't salt them first?

 

[Gumbo4x4]

Omg, not to hijack the thread but is your MIL my sister ( probably not since my nephew is 12).
She's the same way with salt. I mean who cooks burgers on the grill and doesn't salt them first?

I don't salt my burgers, but I do season them.

 

[chicagodisneyfan]

I've also never heard of alcohol being served at a child's birthday party for the adults or baby shower. Graduation parties, sure. Adult birthday parties, of course. Weddings, absolutely. But a child's birthday party, say what? Probably just a regional thing.

There is no way in hell I can sit through a baby shower without a cocktail! Kidding!
But I cannot imagine hosting a party where adults will be present and NOT serving liquor.

Baby showers, bridal showers (held at restaurant or country club)
Going to a twins 1st birthday next weekend and there will be kegs.
Not sure I have ever attended a dry party except for alcoholics.

 

[CPanther95]

If what? I'll let YOU start that one.

I'm a traditionalist, so I've got no problem with requiring a bride that wears white to either be "pure" or to put a large number in red on the front of the veil showing how many times she was "unpure". Then when the veil is lifted up and over for the kiss, it represents a washing away of those indiscretions.

Pretty sure that's how it's done everywhere.

 

[MaryLovesPoohBear]

There is no way in hell I can sit through a baby shower without a cocktail! Kidding!
But I cannot imagine hosting a party where adults will be present and NOT serving liquor.

Baby showers, bridal showers (held at restaurant or country club)
Going to a twins 1st birthday next weekend and there will be kegs.
Not sure I have ever attended a dry party except for alcoholics.

Wow, really?

We have had many parties. Some have alcohol, some don't.

This weekend, we are hosting a 1st Birthday party. We are thinking iced tea, lemonade and soda. No alcohol.

 

[shoney]

Wow, really?

We have had many parties. Some have alcohol, some don't.

This weekend, we are hosting a 1st Birthday party. We are thinking iced tea, lemonade and soda. No alcohol.

I can't imagine it either. In our circle, alcohol is served or offered to adults.

 

[justgrace]

My understanding is that the dollar dance is orginally French Canadian, guests used to pin money into her dress to dance with the bride.

As far as kids birthdays, my kids are currently 6,4&2. We have had beer/wine (and whiskey for me when I wasn't pregnant or breastfeeding ) at all their parties except the one at the zoo and the one at the pool.
I don't see the issue with parents relaxing with a drink while the kids go crazy on a bouncy castle

There is no way in hell I can sit through a baby shower without a cocktail! Kidding!
But I cannot imagine hosting a party where adults will be present and NOT serving liquor.

Baby showers, bridal showers (held at restaurant or country club)
Going to a twins 1st birthday next weekend and there will be kegs.
Not sure I have ever attended a dry party except for alcoholics.

That's really interesting - different regions, different traditions/ideas.

Here, alcohol and kiddie parties don't mix. I don't think most parents in our area would feel comfortable dropping off kids at birthday parties where alcohol was going to be served. I wouldn't think the host would be comfortable being responsible for a bunch of kids while alcohol was being served to the adult guests, either. One unattended drink that Aunt Christine accidentally left on the coffee table and little Johnny thinks it's his fruit punch would be a nightmare, especially if the parents are not at the birthday party. But, again, where something is commonplace in one area, isn't in another and vice versa. If everyone is comfortable with it, then there's no problem.

At baby showers, I can see it being more commonplace than kids birthday parties to have lighter alcohol being served - because it's mainly all ladies who are legally allowed to consume alcohol (not kids). But, again, here it isn't common and most baby showers take place in the late morning or early afternoon.

If it isn't a party where the main focus is the children and the party is later in the day (late afternoon/night), it is typical for alcohol to be served.

 

[mi*vida*loca]

There is no way in hell I can sit through a baby shower without a cocktail! Kidding!
But I cannot imagine hosting a party where adults will be present and NOT serving liquor.

Baby showers, bridal showers (held at restaurant or country club)
Going to a twins 1st birthday next weekend and there will be kegs.
Not sure I have ever attended a dry party except for alcoholics.

This is us too. Most times the host starts the party off with alcohol and people BYOB also.

 

[mi*vida*loca]

That's really interesting - different regions, different traditions/ideas.

Here, alcohol and kiddie parties don't mix. I don't think most parents in our area would feel comfortable dropping off kids at birthday parties where alcohol was going to be served. I wouldn't think the host would be comfortable being responsible for a bunch of kids while alcohol was being served to the adult guests, either. One unattended drink that Aunt Christine accidentally left on the coffee table and little Johnny thinks it's his fruit punch would be a nightmare, especially if the parents are not at the birthday party. But, again, where something is commonplace in one area, isn't in another and vice versa. If everyone is comfortable with it, then there's no problem.

At baby showers, I can see it being more commonplace than kids birthday parties to have lighter alcohol being served - because it's mainly all ladies who are legally allowed to consume alcohol (not kids). But, again, here it isn't common and most baby showers take place in the late morning or early afternoon.

If it isn't a party where the main focus is the children and the party is later in the day (late afternoon/night), it is typical for alcohol to be served.

It's very true about different traditions and cultures doing different things.

We don't do drop off parties in my circle. All of the kids that attend are the children of close friends or family so it's a kid/adult party in one. That's easily 15 kids for us. My kids usually don't even invite school friends because we have a big enough crowd with just family. If the party is at your house or a hall there is alcohol. DD's 10th birthday party had 19 kids (just family and family friends) at the skating rink so no alcohol was allowed.

Our babyshowers are coed and a huge bash usually with a DJ, music, dancing and drinking.

 

[MaryLovesPoohBear]

I'm wondering if there is also an age factor here.

I'm 50. When I was in my 20's and 30's, we always had alcohol at parties. It didn't matter what the occasion, unless the party was over before 2, we had alcohol.

Then we had young kids, and alcohol and kids just didn't mix. At least in my opinion.

And now, we simply don't drink as much. We, meaning my group of friends. Most of my friends would be shocked if I BYOB to a kids birthday party.

 

[shoney]

That's really interesting - different regions, different traditions/ideas.

Here, alcohol and kiddie parties don't mix. I don't think most parents in our area would feel comfortable dropping off kids at birthday parties where alcohol was going to be served. I wouldn't think the host would be comfortable being responsible for a bunch of kids while alcohol was being served to the adult guests, either. One unattended drink that Aunt Christine accidentally left on the coffee table and little Johnny thinks it's his fruit punch would be a nightmare, especially if the parents are not at the birthday party. But, again, where something is commonplace in one area, isn't in another and vice versa. If everyone is comfortable with it, then there's no problem.

At baby showers, I can see it being more commonplace than kids birthday parties to have lighter alcohol being served - because it's mainly all ladies who are legally allowed to consume alcohol (not kids). But, again, here it isn't common and most baby showers take place in the late morning or early afternoon.

If it isn't a party where the main focus is the children and the party is later in the day (late afternoon/night), it is typical for alcohol to be served.

Most showers here are early afternoon too. Isn't the purpose of "brunch" to drink (bloody mary's) during breakfast? LOL