Good...
dang it, it's afternoon already!
We picked up DS8 from his friend's house. He had a good time, his friend had a good time, friend's little brother seemed to have a good time, too... and even flashed us as we stood chatting with his mother. Oh my!
DS8 asked me (in front of his friend) if the friend could come over today. I said 'not today' and he started getting whiney. And the friend got all pouty, too, so obviously they'd already discussed it. GEEZ, I hate that! So we had a little chat when we got home:
Me: You know, we let you go to your friend's house to play yesterday. Then we let you stay for dinner when you asked. Then we let you spend the night, and brought over clean clothes and your toothbrush for you. Then we come pick you up, and you start giving attitude? Do you think that makes us inclined to let you do that again?
DS: But I just wanted him to come and play.
Me: No, listen. We let you go to have fun, then you give us attitude when we pick you up. Do you think we want to let you go again then?
DS, pouting: No.
Me: Son, you just spent
all day and
all night with this friend. Besides that, you know the rules! There are toys all over every room in this house. You can't have friends over unless you pick up your toys. That's all I ever ask of you, and you don't do it unless I
make you, right? So don't even ask me when you know your toys are everywhere!
DS: They're not in
your room...
DH stepped in: I know of several of your toys that are in our bedroom, so don't even go there. There also are a bunch on the floor of my office.
Me: And don't ever ask me if a friend can come over in front of the friend! That's rude and can be hurtful to your friend if I say no, and it's not fair to me. You clean up your toys first,
then you ask Mama and Daddy if you can have a friend over. If we say OK,
then you invite the friend over, not before. If you ask me again in front of your friend, it's going to be an automatic NO even if the house is clean. Got it?
DS, still pouting but a little guilty: Yes.
Oy. Kids, I tell ya...
The friend is a nice but whiney kid who has a very permissive mother, so he doesn't often hear the word 'no'. I'm fine with DS playing with him, but I do notice behavioral changes when he spends a LOT of time there, so I limit the time somewhat.
My house is hardly ever tidy and I'm very self-conscious about that, but less so if at least the toys and dirty clothes the kids leave all over the house are picked up, that's most of the battle! I'm fine with having someone come over and play IF the boys do their part first. At least pick up the toys in the common areas and the boy's bedroom. But that hardly ever happens...
DS got in trouble at the beginning of the school year when he told this friend that he had his room clean but
still wasn't allowed to have friends over. The friend actually confronted me about it after school!
He told me it wasn't fair and that he should be allowed to come over. So I stopped walking and point-blank asked DS if that was true that his room was clean. He hung his head and had to admit that it wasn't. I was annoyed and amused at the same time that my son had lied to his friend to save face, but
threw me under the bus doing it! He probably won't be doing that again...
