Another taking family on DVC question

[ZekeKelso]

This is somewhat similar to an existing question, but I didn't want to hijack that thread…

I am about to buy into DVC. One of the main reason I'm buying is so that I can take family members on Disney trips, especially by brother/sil/nephews.

I'm very fortunate to have the money to do this, and I want to be the kind of guy who does this sort of thing. But I'm worried that I'm not actually that kind of guy; I just think I want to be that kind of guy.

While I'm going into this with the intention of being generous, will I start to get annoyed with my brother and wonder why he - who makes more money that I but is always broke because he spends it all - isn't offering to pay his share, or at least pick up my maintenance fees?

I really want to be bighearted and philanthropic, but I fear DVC might bring out my inner stingy tightwad. Now I know you guys can't get inside my head. But, in your own lives, has sharing DVC made you a more generous person? Or more miserly?

 

[dianeschlicht]

We have always shared our DVC accommodations with family and friends. MOST of the time it has worked out well....Occationally you get someone who doesn't understand and likes to "pull you chain". We just don't invite that kind back. Everyone we have ever treated to accommodations has returned the favor by buying us dinner or even a CDS show. They are always expected to pay their own transportation and ticket costs, and only our immediate family gets an all inclusive trip (yes, we still pay all the costs for grown children and grand children).

 

[Chuck S]

I agree with Diane, we often take family and friends. They pay their own transportation to WDW, meals and park tickets. If they can afford it (some can't) they treat us to a nice dinner or dinner show.

We've enountered a few problems, involving cancellations...my policy is if they cancel after the reservation is made, without it being an emergency (illness, death in the family, etc.) they are not invited back.

 

[Pooh's Pixie]

I want to be the kind of guy who does this sort of thing. But I'm worried that I'm not actually that kind of guy; I just think I want to be that kind of guy.

This is very funny. I know exactly what you mean. Some things are better in theory than in practice, aren't they?

My answer is it depends on who you are bringing. If I wouldn't want to be with them for an extended period, I wouldn't invite them. I am a relative newbie to DVC, but we did bring some relatives on one trip: My mom, who I wanted to experience Disney with her granchildren, and my niece and nephew who were 19 at the time. I am very close to them and they do lots of babysitting and stuff for us, so I wanted to reward them with a trip. We had a blast. I would do it again in a heartbeat!

Now I have a SIL & BIL who I would think twice about. He is lazy and ungrateful, and is the type of person that would EXPECT us to take him, even though he is willingly unemployed. I have a hard time inviting him to anything, let alone a trip. Does that make me a stingy person? I don't think so, I think it makes me a realist.

Good luck!

 

[bobbiwoz]

Besides our DS's and their families, the people that we have "treated" to DVC accomodations the most have been DMom and DSis, both of whom have chipped in to buy some points for our account. Both had decided that they love the DVC resorts, DSis, BWV and DM, VWL, and both wanted to know that in some way, they were helping to pay for the experience.

I hope you find that your experience of hosting family and friends will be like ours, very memorable and pleasant.

Bobbi

 

[BroganMc]

While I'm going into this with the intention of being generous, will I start to get annoyed with my brother and wonder why he - who makes more money that I but is always broke because he spends it all - isn't offering to pay his share, or at least pick up my maintenance fees?

I really want to be bighearted and philanthropic, but I fear DVC might bring out my inner stingy tightwad. Now I know you guys can't get inside my head. But, in your own lives, has sharing DVC made you a more generous person? Or more miserly?

Depends. If you're already making value judgments about your brother just contemplating buying DVC, then chances are you have issues with him that will pop up later. That is UNLESS you can keep the green-eyed monster in check.

I have a brother like that. Makes a ton of money, has a huge house, but has always been a major cheapskate and critic. He gets invited less on vacations because I know our personalities clash. (He does feels left out lately so I've had to include him a bit more in group family plans just to be fair.) For me it's a choice between going to jail for murder or my brother living a long, mostly happy life.

Another brother is in the "too poor too big a family" category. I do adore him and his family. So even though it means putting up with a lot of confusion, noise and competition for attention, I will vacation with him. I mentally prepare myself for that inner meltdown (i.e. green-eyed monster) and just go off with my mp3 player if I'm about to lose it. In the end, we have a fabulous vacation.

Now my sister and her family are most like us in style and temperament. I enjoy treating them because they are just so easy to deal with. My sister actually fights me to pay some of the bills. And unsurprisingly, we vacation most with her.

If you want to take family & friends, it's very doable. The general rules are: (1) that every adult pays for their own transportation, tickets and meals. (Kids are treated by some adult.) A group meal or event may be "treated" by someone in the party, but we all take turns eventually. (2) Never get larger accommodations than you are willing to use solo. That way if someone cancels, you just get extra space. (3) And expect that at some point the person you're with will awaken that monster within. (It wouldn't be family if you didn't want to kill each other at least once.) When the meltdown happens, just give yourself an escape route so you can chill out for a few hours.

Also, I found I really don't know how the experience will be with someone until we take that first trip together. My sister earned a permanent invite because her trial vacation just worked so perfectly for everyone. makes my brothers' jealous a bit, but that's more icing on the cake for this much-teased little sister.

 

[Cruiser1969]

But I'm worried that I'm not actually that kind of guy; I just think I want to be that kind of guy . . .I really want to be bighearted and philanthropic, but I fear DVC might bring out my inner stingy tightwad. Now I know you guys can't get inside my head. But, in your own lives, has sharing DVC made you a more generous person? Or more miserly?

This is too funny . . . it's like you are in my head!! I have these mood swings from "Let's bring everyone!!!" to the uglier side of "These points are MINE MINE MINE!"

I think the only cure may be to buy more points so that I have more to share!!!

Reading some of the horror stories on these boards about bringing family and friends scares me, though . . . do I really want to open this can of worms???

 

[ransom]

Our original thought in buying DVC was to bring all the relatives, one family group at a time, over the coming years.

But then we started thinking it over, and there were just too many issues.

We ultimately decided to only try bringing my parents -- if their health allows.

For the rest, we'll just say, "We're going to be at WDW from X date to Y date, and if anyone else is going to be there, then let us know! We'd like to have dinner with ya."

 

[wildernessDad]

My problem has been that I find it hard to get my family and friends interested in going or they complain when they do go.

We brought some friends and they brought two of their daughters and stayed in a studio. We told them it would be cramped. I have not heard from him since. So much for them.

Heck, I even took my FIL and he complained the whole time, even about how the two-bedroom at VWL had too many mirrors. Then, he proceeded to come home and tell everyone what a great time he had. Go figure. I guess he had a great time because I footed most of his bill. All he paid for was his airfare. He bought a mug at Roaring Fork and asked me, "Is this included?" after he used his room key card to pay for it. I said, "Yeah, since I am paying for this, it is." He didn't know that the room key card was linked to my credit card. Ahh, ignorance is bliss, they say.

I invited my best friend and another friend of ours to come to WDW. My best friend said, "Well, (name of other friend) does like adult entertainment." Since I am pretty sure that Disney will not open any strip clubs, even in DTD, any time soon, I am rethinking my decision to invite them. I will have to find some friends that do not require "adult" entertainment.

Yes, you may find it hard to believe, but I am having problems finding people to go with us to WDW and the people I do find are not appreciative. No, I don't mean that they have to kiss my feet. I would just like to see a look of happiness on their faces. Is that too much to ask?

 

[ILuvDVC2]

We have taken family and friends three times since we joined in 2000. This was the primary reason we bought at DVC, and it's been a great way for us to bond with our nieces and nephews. We like being generous with them and it's brought us closer.

The deal we make with our family members is that everyone pays their own transportation and their meals (mostly), and we'll cover the accommodations. While we've never asked them to do anything else to offset our DVC membership expenses, we find that our family wants to pitch in in some way. For instance, on our last trip my sister offered to buy our park passes, so we took her up on it. Two other times, the family picked up the rental car expense.

While neither of these expenses are equal to our DVC membership expenses, having the family cover these expenses helped tremendously. Perhaps you can suggest these options to your brother...

 

[BuzznBelle'smom]

We've discussed this, too. It does get complicated, doesn't it?

My MIL has treated us to "regular" Disney vacations several times. She probably still would, but we've outgrown a standard hotel room (6 of us), so at least one of our kids would have to stay with Grandma--not happening, she's an alcoholic (rich alcoholic) who is self-absorbed, talks constantly, and snores. Nobody wants to share a room with her. So we bought DVC, and will require a 2BR.

Now, we all know a 2BR sleeps 8, we have 6, so theoretically we could treat a couple people. We've already agreed that we're not doing that on our first trip next year (MY points! Mine! MINE!). We've tentatively agreed that MIL could come on the same trip, but stay in her own hotel room (we own at BCV). Frankly, I'd rather she stayed home, she's miserable to travel with, but complains she doesn't see enough of the grandkids.

DH has generously offered to invite my DSis and BIL with us some time. But then I start thinking, they'll be sleeping in the living room, we'll be tripping over their stuff (my points! MINE!).

We've also considered, say, giving our niece points as a wedding gift, for her honeymoon (she's 18, not engaged or anything, this is a "what if"). I think that would bother me less because it would be a gift of points rather than a sharing of a vacation. After thinking about it, I think what I mind giving up most is family space on vacation. I don't want to have to put up with even another loved one's sleeping habits or hygiene issues or adult movies . So, maybe my best bet isn't sharing accomodations, but sharing points in other ways. YMMD, of course.
I don't think that makes me (or you) un-generous, but I do think we all have to be realistic with ourselves about what a vacation means and how best to utilize our resources (time, money, points) to get there.

 

[jomik1]

We love to vacation with friends and family. DH and I have vacationed this way the whole time we have been together ( 20 years now! ). We've been on 3 cruises, 2 with friends and 1 with family.(Everyone paid their own way) Our last 3 trips to Disney have all been with family, 2 with mine and 1 with DH's. We will pretty much pay everything for our parents. For anyone else, it is accomodations only. They are responsible for park tickets, airfare, food, etc. We have never had a problem with anyone being ungrateful. We all get along pretty well and have always had fun.

I really think that it is very important to be very upfront with what you expect regarding your points. I feel providing accomodations is extremely generous. The rack rates for these accomodations are very expensive. Our last trip in March 06 was in a GV and our upcoming trip in June 08 will also be in a GV. We better not hear any complaining!!

 

[MdmMim]

Yes, you may find it hard to believe, but I am having problems finding people to go with us to WDW and the people I do find are not appreciative. No, I don't mean that they have to kiss my feet. I would just like to see a look of happiness on their faces. Is that too much to ask?

I understand this completely! I invited a friend who had never been to WDW. We stayed in a 1-bedroom at the BWV. She never once said she enjoyed herself, or that the Epcot resort area was nice, or even thanked me! Even though I had warned her about the walking distance and lots of kids (knowing she didn't really like them), all I heard was, "That seat has my name on it!" "I have to get away from the kids!" I was so glad when she left --and I will not invite her back. As a matter of fact, I rarely see her now.

OTOH, I have invited family and friends with whom I've had a great time--and they are invited back. I let them know that I will take care of their rooms, but everything else is up to them. However, we do have some very strong personalities in the group, which means I will never have to worry about booking a GV!