Another peeve thread about Christmas Cards

[C.Ann]

Really! We have been married for 28 years, no mystery about how to address us. I think maybe it's a generational thing?

I think you're right.. I would never send a card to my mother, brother, sister, one of my adult children/stepchildren, or grandchild and sign it, "Love, The _________ Family"..

Neighbors and friends - maybe.. Close immediate family? Never..

We're definitely in the minority here..

 

[SCHBR'smom]

I understand about people being busy, but would you send your immediate family a card signed "The Schbr family"? Your parents or siblings?

I don't sign the SCHBR family, I said I sign all our names. My point was that it does take a lot of time in response to the post that says it doesn't take long.

I understand your point, you would like them to be a bit more personal, to take a little time out of the their day and actually put their names and yours. I get it. I have received family cards signed in a generic way. Only two people ever sign our names at the top and they are not close relatives. I suppose it has never occurred to me to be bothered by it. As I said, the only thing that bothers me is saying "you're not worth the money for a card and a stamp." Again, I don't mind not receiving one, I don't like how they explain it to me. It's rude. Don't send one and don't explain.

 

[redsunfish]

As someone else said--how can there be anything wrong with sending a card. The person that sent it thought about you!! But apparently, the thought of the card is just not good enough?

What about the cards that come pre-printed with the names on the actual card and then the address on the envelope is a sticky label printed from a computer (aka no pen involved)? I know people in my family who order pre-printed cards and send them out with address labels printed off their computer with one click. I'm not 100% sure they thought about me at all in the process past the first year they added me to the Christmas card list.

I know my life will probably change a lot when/if i have children and that time will be at a premium but for now I like writing notes in all my Christmas cards

 

[Mickey's Minion]

I just got a card from my husband's brother and his family.

No "Dear So & SO" at the top.

Signed, love the "L________" family.


I send cards to their three sons for EVERY little occasion all year long, Halloween, Thanksgiving, Valentine's Day, St. Patrick's Day, not to mention Christmas and Easter. I send a little money each time.

He has one brother, I think the least they could do is put our names at the top and sign their names at the bottom. Is it really too much to ask for a little personal touch to your one close relative?

Vent over.

Really! We have been married for 28 years, no mystery about how to address us. I think maybe it's a generational thing?

I've been married 26+ years, so you can't, blame it on generation.

We have always sent out our cards to everyone, including brothers, sisters, aunts, uncles, cousins, grandparents, parents signed

-Happy Holidays, (some do not celebrate Christmas)
The ______________ Family

It is really annoying when somebody does something one way, as in the fact that you are a "card" person, and then whines and gripes when everyone else does not do it exactly "their" way as if "their way" is the only way acceptable.

Personally, I would find it annoying to get a card from a relative for every little occasion, even the non-traditional card holidays like Halloween and St. Patrick's day that you said you send cards on, especially if I know the relative is expecting me to reciprocate a certain way. If you are sending all those cards and then griping that you don't get signed cards in return, then you are not sending cards out of love, but out of trying to make the rest of the family feel guilty that they don't do things "your way."

If you don't like the way they send out cards based on the fact that you do things differently, then just stop sending them so many cards. Maybe, out of courtesy, since you don't approve of their card sending ways, they will drop you from the card list.

 

[snapppyd]

You know in all the time it took busy people to write their responses to me here they could have used that time to sign their Christmas cards

 

[MichelleVW]

I think you all are missing my point. And maybe it is petty , but you all keep saying at least they thought of you. The point is, they did not think of us. It is a generic card, signed in a generic way. This is my DH's one and only BROTHER, how are they thinking of us if you sign "The L_____ Family"??

Yep....you're being petty.

I understand about people being busy, but would you send your immediate family a card signed "The Schbr family"? Your parents or siblings?

yep....but I would say the Vanwinkle family not the Schbr family!!

 

[justhat]

I understand about people being busy, but would you send your immediate family a card signed "The Schbr family"? Your parents or siblings?

Like I posted, we do. My mom, grandfather, MIL/FIL, SILs, and BIL all get the same card as everyone else. They have our names printed on them. I do write out everyone's name, or type it anyway, but it's preprinted. So whether I write "The B Family" or all of our names, it's the same for everyone.

And my SIL sends photo cards with their names preprinted on them too, including to us.

Does your BIL's family give you some sort of gift? Talk to you or see you at all during the holidays? If so, then I really don't see the big deal. We always mail gifts to my in-laws so it's not like the card is the only communication we have with them.

 

[Mickey's Minion]

I think you all are missing my point. And maybe it is petty , but you all keep saying at least they thought of you. The point is, they did not think of us. It is a generic card, signed in a generic way. This is my DH's one and only BROTHER, how are they thinking of us if you sign "The L_____ Family"??

They are thinking of you because they took the time to include you on their Christmas list.

 

[snapppyd]

I've been married 26 years, so you can't, blame it on generation.

We have always sent out our cards to everyone, including brothers, sisters, aunts, uncles, cousins, grandparents, parents signed

-Happy Holidays, (some do not celebrate Christmas)
The ______________ Family

It is really annoying when somebody does something one way, as in the fact that you are a "card" person, and then whines and gripes when everyone else does not do it exactly "their" way as if "their way" is the only way acceptable.

Personally, I would find it annoying to get a card from a reltive for every little occasion, even the non-traditional card holidays like Halloween that you said you send cards on, especially if I know the relative is expecting me to reciprocate a certain way. If you are sending all those cards and then griping that you don't get signed cards in return, then you are not sending cards out of love, but out of trying to make the rest of the family feel guilty that they don't do things "your way."

If you don't like the way they send out cards based on the fact that you do things differently, then just stop sending them so many cards. Maybe, out of courtesy, since you don't approve of their card sending ways, they will drop you from the card list.

I really don't see the need to be so hostile. It's just another topic of conversation. And the children do appreciate the cards I send them. You have never had a conversation about your inlaws doing things differently from your family?

 

[Christine]

What about the cards that come pre-printed with the names on the actual card and then the address on the envelope is a sticky label printed from a computer (aka no pen involved)? I know people in my family who order pre-printed cards and send them out with address labels printed off their computer with one click. I'm not 100% sure they thought about me at all in the process past the first year they added me to the Christmas card list.

I would never do it due to the expense, but they don't bother me. And here's why.

My best friend's mother sends me one of these cards every year. She, personally LOVES cards that were ordered from the printer and personalized. *She* thinks they are the cat's meow and she spends a lot of time picking out that card from the stationer's book. *She* thinks they are better than any other card you could buy.

So, knowing her intention: that the card, in her opinion, is FANTASTIC and great and she thinks that having them done by a company is a step above, well, how can I fault her?? She put a lot of her type of thought into that card.

 

[Mickey's Minion]

I understand about people being busy, but would you send your immediate family a card signed "The Schbr family"? Your parents or siblings?

Yup. Always have and will continue to do so. My immediate family does the same.

Cards are not the way we let our family and friends know how much we care about them. We do that throughout the year in many different ways. We get together and do stuff as a family. For those out of town, we have numerous, long phone conversations.

I would find it pretty sad if my family thought a piece of paper at Christmas and how it was signed was a measure of how much we cared and thought about them.

You obviously feel differently, which is ok, in that you put great stock in cards and how they convey one's feelings.

But you have to understand that to some, a card is just a piece of paper, a fun thing to send out to friends and family. But you cannot decide that just because you put such value on cards, that everybody else does too. Or that other card senders do not value you just because they did not sign their name.

 

[C.Ann]

You know in all the time it took busy people to write their responses to me here they could have used that time to sign their Christmas cards

I really don't see the need to be so hostile. It's just another topic of conversation. And the children do appreciate the cards I send them.

Isn't that what everyone does here? Expresses their opinions? It's up to each individual poster to decide if they want to view it as a differing opinion or criticism.. Certainly nothing to get all worked up about..

 

[Christine]

I really don't see the need to be so hostile. It's just another topic of conversation. You have never had a conversation about your inlaws doing things differently from your family?

I don't think that poster was being hostile. You are correct that this is actually a great topic of conversation about how people do things; however, you didn't start it as just a general topic. You posted a vent and a pet peeve:

He has one brother, I think the least they could do is put our names at the top and sign their names at the bottom. Is it really too much to ask for a little personal touch to your one close relative?

There was a judgement in those sentences above that indicate that the brother (and it appears 90% of people on the DIS) aren't doing it correctly. That's a bit different that just discussing differences.

 

[Mickey's Minion]

I really don't see the need to be so hostile. It's just another topic of conversation. And the children do appreciate the cards I send them. You have never had a conversation about your inlaws doing things differently from your family?

Not being hostile. Just said that "I" find it annoying when relatives do something one way and then expect everybody else to do things "their way" otherwise they gripe and moan about it.

Yes, I have had conversations about how others in our family did things in ways different from ours. What I have not done is complain about it. I accept them for who they are since I know we all love each other very much, even though we may do things differently.

Their way may be different than mine, but it is not wrong.

Is is just my opinion, but putting expectations on other members of your family based on what one does throughout the year is wrong. In your case, you specifically said in your first post that because you send out numerous cards during the year, that you "expect" a signed card in return. You are putting expectations on the brother's family based on your beliefs. That will only ever lead to ill feelings as shown by your "vent."

 

[sbell111]

We are supposed to write the recipient's name at the top of the card??? When was this change made? I certainly did not get that memo.

We put the recipients' names on the envelope. Our thinking is that by the time they open up the card, they already know who it's for.

My wife dates the top of each card (inside). I think that's silly, also.

 

[snapppyd]

I think you're right.. I would never send a card to my mother, brother, sister, one of my adult children/stepchildren, or grandchild and sign it, "Love, The _________ Family"..

Neighbors and friends - maybe.. Close immediate family? Never..

We're definitely in the minority here..

I don't mind being in the minority. I really seem to have struck a nerve here.

 

[C.Ann]

I don't mind being in the minority. I really seem to have struck a nerve here.

The "ignore" feature is your friend.. So much more pleasant for DISing.. Much quicker to zip through the threads too!!

 

[Boxley]

I personally am happy I just got a card, I usually put them on the mantle or coffee tables

 

[MissyDVC]

Yes I would and I did.

Me too And they have all said how much they love the card

 

[ICF]

We had photo cards done by Snapfish, signed with our name. All we did was address the envelopes and stamp.....

With work and 2 kids, we really don't have time to get into personally doing a card for the 30-40 people we sent the cards out to.