Another IL vent thread

[DisneyfeverTN]

I would have just raised the temperature to 70 and made my FIL happy. What a very small price to pay for peace. I think 66 would be a little cold for most people (I am guessing). I also wouldn't want my guests to have to wear jackets and sweaters in my house just to be comfortable.

If my dh wouldn't compromise on something like that for my parents, I would be upset. However, he would, so no problems there.

 

[kerrynic78]

For those of you who feel it is ok to freeze out FIL: Would you feel the same if it were your grandmother or grandfather who were cold? Would you say, "Sorry, gram. I'm not going to be warm for you?"

Is it really unreasonable to raise the temp a massive 4 degrees to make your elder happy?

I completely agree with this.

 

[BellePrincessBelle]

Wow are you being passive aggresive. Thats just nasty on your part. It's your FIL and you should show him some respect. Not this my house my temperature crap. He's a guest his comfort should be most important..

 

[autumnbaby9]

Considering my grandma got cold while we were in Hawaii and it was 85 degrees outside (she would turn the AC off and turn the heater on ) I can imagine your FIL is absolutley freezing at 66 degrees. As we get older our bodies regulate tempature differently and we can get really cold even when it isn't cold outside (or inside). If someone insisted on freezing me out I would probably never visit again.

If you want to be a good hostess I would up the temp.

 

[diznygirl]

OP - you sound like my SIL and her DH. They like it cold. Fine. And 66 isn't comfortable - it's cold. So they want us to stay with them when we visit but seriously we are freezing! So we stay at a hotel and they are offended? Well, they refuse to budge - so we just chose a solution that would make all of us comfortable. No big - but don't get offended either.

 

[DVCLiz]

You use heat to just take the chill out of the air- you don't heat the house to tee shirt and shorts weather, for Pete's sake!

I've never heard of this before. No one I know heats their house just to take the chill out of the air - I wouldn't tolerate that for a day and I wouldn't stay in anyone's house who kept it that cold, either.

I heat my house to 72 in the winter. It is very warm and comfortable, and I don't need an extra sweater or sweatshirt or blanket, unless I happen to want to be very cozy. I wouldn't live like that in the winter.

 

[Arielle22]

OP,

I totally disagree with you. I was raised that you did what was needed to make your guests comfortable.

One BIL loves it cold. My sister has learned to live with it. However when the fmaily functions are at their house, my sister tells us to feel free to shut windows and turn on the heat. My other BIL is frugal and won't turn on the central AC in the summer. He will actually turn it off after my sister turns it on. Again during family functions we are told to adjust the temp to a comfortable one.

Have you ever been in a nursing home? The temp in nursing homes is kept high because the elderly don't move around alot and most don't have much body fat for insulation.

I would find it incredibly tacky if my host wouldn't turn the heat up to a more comfortable temp. Also this is your FIL. Do you have other issues with him and this is your way to get revenge?

4 degrees for a week seems a small price to pay to keep peace in the family.

 

[MushyMushy]

For those of you who feel it is ok to freeze out FIL: Would you feel the same if it were your grandmother or grandfather who were cold? Would you say, "Sorry, gram. I'm not going to be warm for you?"

Is it really unreasonable to raise the temp a massive 4 degrees to make your elder happy?

No kidding! I would feel like a real heel if my grandmother had ever come to my house and felt uncomfortable like that.

Wow are you being passive aggresive. Thats just nasty on your part. It's your FIL and you should show him some respect. Not this my house my temperature crap. He's a guest his comfort should be most important..

I totally agree. Wow. My parents are complete pains in the butt, but there is no way I'd make them be uncomfortable in my house like that.

I can't believe the people on here who would support being so rude to guests.

 

[piratesmate]

Actually your FIL sounds like he's being somewhat reasonable about this. (Ducking now & donning flame-proof suit!) Coumidin (sp??) is a blood thinner. When your blood is thin, you get cold very easily. From what I understand, it's a medical thing - not simply a preference or old-age crotchity-ness. (I know - that's not a word. )

My mother is on it because she has a pace maker. My father has to wear T-shirts & shorts all winter long. Their house & now their apt is always at 82+!! It's all I can stand to be there for any length of time. Mom refuses to wear more clothes so the rest of us suffer. Sometimes she wears lightweight clothing & complains that it's too cold...at 82+!! Of course she has other issues & the weight of too much extra/heavy clothing can be an issue too.

But asking for the thermostat to be at 70 isn't all that unreasonable. We keep ours at 68, but we get cold if it's at 66. If he's already wearing warm indoor clothing (not a parka ), then maybe you could compromise for this week...or just accomodate him.

 

[Skywalker]

Sorry, OP. I think you are way in the wrong here.

First of all, you really should stop with the "my house, my rules, I pay the bills" crap. That sounds like a line you use on a mouthy pre-teen not on a 1)grown adult, 2)guest in your home who is 3) your father in law!!! I think you need to learn how to be more gracious.

That is my honest opinion.

 

[Disney Doll]

When my late DFIL was over, I always turned up the heat as he felt the cold terribly. We usually keep it at 66/67 in the winter..when DFIL was here, it was 72.

I do the same for my mother, who also feels the cold.

I was raised to make sacrifices for the comfort of my houseguests.

Not a battle I would choose to fight, but apparently those 4degrees and control of the thermostat are very important to you in the grand scheme of life, so have at it.

 

[DVCLiz]

OP, it's getting late - have you turned that heat up yet???

 

[Dad_Z]

Sorry, OP. I think you are way in the wrong here.

First of all, you really should stop with the "my house, my rules, I pay the bills" crap. That sounds like a line you use on a mouthy pre-teen not on a 1)grown adult, 2)guest in your home who is 3) your father in law!!! I think you need to learn how to be more gracious.

That is my honest opinion.

Well put! If you don't want to make reasonable accommodations for guests, don't host. 70 degrees is quite reasonable - typical even.

Happy Holidays!

 

[darlak]

In my mind, it really isn't about the actual setting on the thermostat. It's about the comfort of a guest in your home, in this case an elderly guest who happens to be your father-in-law.

If I knew in advance that he was going to be uncomfortably cold and that I was unwilling to turn up the heat for him, I probably would have offered to put my in-laws up in a nearby hotel for their visit.

I keep my thermostat set on 72. However, if you are an invited guest in my home and you find it too warm, I will turn the heat down to 66 and just go get a sweater for myself.

 

[disykat]

When my parents come, we bump the heat up to 70 and occasionally higher. It's still probably cold for them, but they do come prepared with sweaters, etc. When we go to their home, we stay in a hotel. It's just too hot at their house. They both have health issues that make them cold.

 

[roliepolieoliefan]

OP, I also think you are being very rude.

66 degrees is very cold, IMOP. We have our thermostat set at 70, I would be freezing also at 66.

Also as a PP stated, Coumadin is a blood thinner and yes, it will make you feel cold.

You are not a very gracious host. Turn the thermostat up 4 degrees for a week. Show some respect.

 

[WaltD4Me]

OP, I know just how you feel. I keep my heat at 65, with warm slippers, that is good for me. I'm always hot. BUT, I give in when my dad comes over. He used to be like me, always hot, but now that he is older and on blood pressure meds, now he is cold. We used to argue a bit about it, but then I felt his hands and they were like ice! I turned the heat up and felt bad for arguing about it.
I can give him all all the sweatshirts in the world, but I don't want him to walk around my house with gloves and earmuffs on. I know it's hard, but I'm bet your FIL is honestly cold, I think "young" cold is different from "old" cold.

 

[HunnyPots]

Yeah, I gotta go with the majority on this one. Even I would be uncomfortable at 66 and I am in great health. My mom, at 82, is also on blood thinners and she would be miserable in a house that cold. Her muscles and bones would be in agony.
As mentioned, a good hostess does whatever it takes to make her guests comfortable. And it's only a week. It'll fly by and you can go back to living in a meat locker if you want!

 

[lucyanna girl]

My house, My rules? This seems like a rather hard line to take with your FIL. He is an adult, a house guest, your DH's father, and your elder. Surely a four degree increase in the heat wouldn't increase your heating bill too much.

I lost my DF six years ago. I would love to have the opportunity to do something to please him.

If you are unwilling to do this for your FIL maybe you could do it for your husband. It is always difficult to be placed in-between two people you love.

Penny

 

[wilderness01]

Yeah, I gotta go with the majority on this one. Even I would be uncomfortable at 66 and I am in great health. My mom, at 82, is also on blood thinners and she would be miserable in a house that cold. Her muscles and bones would be in agony.
As mentioned, a good hostess does whatever it takes to make her guests comfortable. And it's only a week. It'll fly by and you can go back to living in a meat locker if you want!

I have to agree with this. One day you will be old too and someone might have to accommodate you.