ANOTHER Adventure in Autism: Chapter 19
The Pre-Breakfast Breakdown, ARF Strikes Again!
Patience, n. A minor form of despair disguised a a virtue.
- AMBROSE BIERCE,
The Devil's Dictionary, 1906
Tuesday, 11/06/07 The Magic Kingdom.
Having read quite often that the best way to experience a character breakfast is to schedule it prior to park opening, I was thrilled (last June) to have scored an 8am ADR for that morning at the
Crystal Palace.
The
Magic Kingdom was opening at 9am and that surely would be enough time to enjoy the buffet, get our hugs from Pooh and the Gang, and then be out the door and off to FantasyLand before the line for Dumbo got much past a wait of two or three cycles.
More than enough time, that is, if we were simply talking about Ed, the kids, and me. I had not, however, adequately anticipated the effect of the Aunt Rae Factor (henceforth to be referred to as the
ARF.)
I know what youre thinking.
Hmpff! This years TR seems to be more about Adventures with
Aunt Rae than about Adventures in Autism! I know. I hear you.
In fact, later on in the week, when just about all of my patience was used up and I was at the point of despair, I remember making that exact same remark to Ed. I had anticipated Billys needs, but this year Aunt Rae was just so
just so
. But, I am getting ahead of myself.
We night owls had all been in bed at a reasonable hour the previous evening. We had our dinner at the WCC, and then spent the rest of the evening hanging out in the villa, just relaxing.
Clothes had been laid out, backpacks had been pre-packed, and the alarm clock was set. We even had not one, but
two back-ups in the form of Tricia and Eds watch alarms! And, since we did not need to eat breakfast before we left, I reasoned that we would be able to get out the door and to the bus stop all the easier.
Not so, when you add the
ARF.
Now, Im pretty sure you are all familiar with the classic hallmarks of Obsessive-Compulsive Disorders
the extreme repetitive rituals, the germ-a-phobia, the anxiety and nervousness. In fact, the strange behaviors and ritualism all stem from deep anxiety, perhaps based in a chemical imbalance in the brain. I see a lot of them emerging in Billy
most likely related, naturally, to his autism.
But, the more and more time I get to spend with Aunt Rae, the more I am convinced that she suffers from OCD.
Although she wakes up early every morning, she seems to take the longest to get ready. Example: I notice this on Sundays when we pick her up for church. When its Tricias turn to serve at Mass, we try to get there about 5-10 minutes earlier so she can have time to change into her alb and the priest begins the processional. We usually need to remind AR about it the night before, because on the few occasions when we forgot to do so, we arrived 10minutes earlier and she was not even dressed yet. It seems as though she does not want to spoil her clothes and always waits to change at the very last minute. I mean, the very last minute.
Its just something she needs to do, even on vacation.
So, needless to say, here we were all dressed and ready to go and AR was still padding around in her bedroom slippers, dressed in her pajamas and her robe. She knew we planned to leave the room no later than 7am, yet she was still futzing around. She looked exhausted. I didnt get any sleep last night, she said, when I asked how her night had been. And, she whispered, I havent had a B.M. in three days!
(This phenomenon has nothing to do with OCD, just getting older. I know this from years of working with elderly patients.)
Good morning, Mrs. Jones, how are you today?
Oh, just wonderful! I had a really good B.M. this morning!!
And Mrs. Jones would smile and beam as though you were talking to a new mother who had just delivered her firstborn child.
(According to a majority of the geriatric population, Dante really should have named Constipation as the first level in
The Inferno.)
Anyway, I discreetly handed over a bottle of Colace to Aunt Rae and after spending about five minutes reassuring her that there was absolutely
no contraindication for taking it right after taking the Advil for her arthritis, I gently urged her to get a move on.
About half and hour later, we were finally out the door.
Aunt Rae takes a really long time brushing her teeth, Tricia whispered as we moved down the hall toward the lobby (admiring the woodsy theme of the carpet and keeping a sharp look-out for any Hidden Mickeys.) And, she flosses between
each an every tooth, every time she brushes her teeth, can you believe that? And THEN she rinses with mouthwash like 20 times! Tricia shook her head. She gets up so early, why doesnt she do all that earlier? she wondered aloud.
I sighed. Your Aunt just has a particular way of doing things
AAAACCKKKKK!!!!
We both whirled around at the sound. Further back down the hall, Aunt Rae stood there with Ed and Billy, mouth open and both hands on her head.
Dont tell me; let me guess.
Slippers. Those darn slippers again.
Im so sorry! was all she said, over and over. Once again, she had left the room without changing into her sneakers. (Thats another big no-no for Aunt Rae. One never,
ever, wears street shoes in the house; even when the house is a hotel room.)
I sighed as Ed transferred Billy to me and proceeded to accompany AR on her slow walk back to the room. If the bus comes, just go ahead without us, he called out.
DOH!!
Not the best thing to say, Honey.
Why? Because Aunt Rae could be heard fretting about that all the way down the hall until we rounded the corner. Tricia began to complain loudly about potentially missing the bus. Billy just bounced and yanked my hand and made gleeful Billy-sounds as we headed out the door and quickly made our way to the bus stop. I was just as frustrated, but I tried to set a good example and cheerfully noted that we still had plenty of time, privately hoping that it was true.
Brrrr! There was a bit of a nip in the air so early in the morning! Glad we were wearing our baseball shirts over our tee shirts. I was greatly relieved to find a couple of other families waiting for early breakfast buses but feeling a bit of angst thinking of how long it would take Ed and AR to make the relatively long hike and of how flustered she would be once she arrived.
I really didnt want to get separated, but I decided that if the MK bus did arrive, I would just focus on getting the kids to the park and trust that Ed and his aunt would meet up with us somehow. After all, how many big blonde women would there be sporting a lime-green bagallini and lime green
crocs??
Anyone could spot me a half a mile away, not to mention being able to hear Billy from half that distance.
I took some deep breaths and concentrated on keeping Billy from getting too wound up. He was laughing and singing and scripting to his hearts content, mostly because he knows it doesnt annoy me as much as it does Ed. There were the cutest little girls dressed up in their princess finery, obviously headed for Cindys Royal Table. They were just so excited, twirling away and chattering about this and that. Tricia and I both got a kick out of watching them and I reminisced with her about our own breakfast at the Castle that we had done on our first visit to WDW back in 03.
Tricia was seven then and wanted nothing to do with dressing up in costume, even though she was very excited about eating in the Castle. I sighed. Those princess years go by so quickly!
Enjoy them while you can, DIS-friends!
For once, I was glad that the MK bus was slow! Eventually I spotted Ed and Aunt Rae coming along the path. Ed was holding her by the arm and I could see him strain to gently prevent her from trying to awkwardly run as she huffed and puffed her way to the bus stop. Its all right, see, the bus isnt even here yet, he reassured her, but she had a look of absolute horror on her face. And I know her fear was real.
If there is one thing that Aunt Rae is truly terrified of, its that people wont like her. She imagines that people are always talking about her in a negative way and that they are resentful of her. Its a touchy subject.
If I was qualified to psycho-analyze it, I would say that it all stemmed from deep resentments she held toward her own mother, for whom she cared for many years without any help from her three married sisters.
Anyway
doesnt matter
.the point is, she is downright petrified at the thought of being a burden to anyone. And right now, she was imagining that we were all twenty times more annoyed with her than we actually were. I dont want you to say a word, not one word, about the slippers, do you hear Tricia? She nodded, but rolled her eyes and mumbled something under her breath.
Ah yes, enjoy those princess years while you can!
Ed finally steered Aunt Rae safely through the small crowd and plopped her onto one of the benches. She was a nervous wreck and kept saying, Im sorry, over and over again and just would not be placated, no matter how much Ed and I tried to soothe her.
I was sympathetic, but after the twentieth Im sorry, Kathy, I know Im ruining everything, I really was beginning to feel annoyed, not at the stupid slipper thing, but by her endless fretting.
Thankfully, the MK bus came and we were able to shift gears and change the subject. I checked my watch:
7:20. Still okay, everything is fine, everything will be all right.
Wait a minute, whos the one with the anxiety problems here?? I know everything is fine (I told myself.) You see, thats really the most bothersome thing about being around people who are constantly nervous and fretful
after awhile, if youre not careful, their anxiety begins to rub off onto YOU.
I called my sister, Marilyn. (Remember back in the PTR how she called too late for an ADR at the Castle at 180 days and didnt get it? I told her to call back each day and she eventually was able to score.) Well, today was the day their family was having breakfast with the princesses while we were dining with Pooh! We planned to meet up at some point or other so the cousins could do some of the MK together.
Hmmm. No answer. I left a VM.
The bus swayed as we took the curve from World Drive into the bus lanes in front of the MK. It was a glorious day! Who cares if it was a bit chilly
it was sunny, so that would change soon! All the kids on the bus started bouncing and kicking with excitement and calling out, Wheres the Castle, Mommy? and the like. I kind of love this part, no one notices Billy going Eee-Eee-Eee!! and bouncing in his seat
. Theyre all kind of doing it! Heck, I felt like doing it!
Our first MK day of the vacation and we were starting it off with Pooh and the Crystal Palace!! The entire day was a fresh page in our story, just waiting to be written. We marveled at how the sun danced on the water in the Seven Seas Lagoon and how much lighter than normal the crowd level was at this hour.
Tomorrow, we are
definitely getting here for the opening ceremony! I vowed to Ed. He just smiled. Even Grumpy couldnt help but smile as we passed under the track and a monorail train swooshed overhead. As I always do, I tried to read just one or two of the dedicated pavers underfoot
some of them are rather interesting. But, no time for dawdling
unzip all the compartments on the bagallini, here comes the security check. We all breezed through and then I heard Tricia shout, Emmie!! Beth!! Josie!!
There was my sister, her husband, and my three little nieces waiting to enter through the character breakfast only turnstile!
Naturally, there was much squealing and jumping and hugging as the girls (and Billy) all greeted each other. All three nieces were in full princess regalia, and little Josie, who was just two, squirmed to get out of her stroller and partake of all the hugging and kissing. Marilyn was certain to greet Aunt Rae warmly and we laughed at the lucky coincidence of running into each other so soon. Ed and John shook hands and exchanged guy-type greetings, then we stood back for a moment or two while the kids went crazy, drunk with the thrill of all being together at Disney.
Okay, you guys, we have to go back to the end of the line, I said. In our joy, we had committed a bit of a line-jumping
faux pas by racing past two families that had been standing behind my sisters. But, in true Disney style, they all said they didnt care and that we could remain. Thats okay, one woman smiled, let them stay together! Thanks, that was nice!
But the partying needed to take a little break as my sister moved closer to the turnstiles and proceeded to gather up the girls and their park passes. Ed and I began to do the same.
Oh. OH!
Oh NO!! Oh NO!! Oh NO!!!! cried Aunt Rae.
I thought she was going to pass out right then and there.
Whats wrong? Whats the matter?? we all responded in unison.
We stood by helplessly as she burst into tears.
"I forgot my park pass!" 
ARF.
ARF.
To be continued
..
Kathy
.
long with the rest!
I appreciate you all! I hope to give individual responses soon... right now I'm trying to catch up on my TR reading, then I'll get back to some writing! 
This is just getting better & better! 
