Anorexia Question(s)

[Karista]

With the recent news about Mary Kate Olson, I started thinking about all of our young daughters - especially mine who will be 11 in August.

Is anorexia genetic, or is it a sad by-product of our society? Is there some different chemical imbalance that brings it on, or just self-esteem issues?

I know that this is a serious and real disease and it has me concerned. I've always been on this diet or that diet, and as my daughter gets older (who is slender btw) I am concerned that I'm sending her the wrong message. I try to never make comments about her size, other than a deserved compliment, but with all of the thin teenagers that she sees on t.v., as well as my constant struggle with 30 pounds, I'm just wondering if there is anything we can do as parents to prevent eating disorders in our children.

My best friend has an eating disorder and her daughter, who is the same age as mine, is very chubby and her mother is always commenting about how "huge" she is. I'm also wondering if the reverse is happening at their house and that she's dooming her dd to a life of over-weight.

 

[tastelikecandy]

The best advice I can give you is to just let your D know how much you love her just the way she is. I suffered from this when I was 14 due to lack of self-esteem. I got down to 78 lbs at one time and had to be put in the hospital. I think it is so important today that we teach our children that they do not have to look like a magazine cover because the people in there don't even look like that. I posed for a News on Wheels issue one time and I hardly recognized myself on the cover. It was just a local magazine but they had a great make-up artist.

Society is so into vanity today that children grow up thinking if they are not Cindy Crawford, that they do not deserve a chance in life. Some resort to drinking and drugs, others to stripping and eating disorders. All children need is love and assurance that they are fine just the way they are. I think you should just have a talk with her.

 

[Lisa F]

I'm pretty sure that it's a psychological issue and not a chemical issue. I think in many cases it has less to do with food and looking thin than it does with control... my cousin was/is anorexic but when she was an in-patient to deal with it, she began to manifest that need for control in other ways.

I don't think you can turn an otherwise healthy and well adjusted child into an anorexic simply by dieting in front of them and having body issues yourself.

That said, you can certainly make your kid a basketcase about weight without it being a full fledged psychological problem like anorexia or bulemia. Kids do, after all, learn by example and I believe the best example is one to set of eating healthy and exercising for the sake of being healthy. If healthy habits are learned at a young age, I believe health and love of your body will happen naturally (of course barring any psychological problems).

 

[Miss Jasmine]

Anorexia usually HAS NOTHING to do with WEIGHT. It is usually caused by control issues. One may feel that most things in her/his life are out of control, so she/he finds something to control. A person with anorexia often gets a "high" from not eating because she/he has control over SOMETHING and it feels good. Also, anorexics, when they do eat, have a ritualistic eating style (like just eating certain foods, preparing it certain ways, chewing it x amount of times, etc.). This is another form of CONTROL.

While the media does like to play up an "idealistic" image, and it does cause pressure on, mostly, young ladies, it is a problem that goes way beyond that.

 

[holycow]

I think it is definately a product of our society! and it angers me....I've tried to teach my children that you need to be the best YOU...not the best "britney spears or whoever is popular at the moment" but I am ssoooooooooooooooooooooo sick of
people who think weight is an issue to discuss in front of other people....just like your friend who talks about her daughter! It is horrible and makes you feel less of a person.

If you teach them correct nutritional habits then hopefully they will be able to take care of their own weight.

Another thing ...just because you might be a pudgy teen doesn't mean you will be destined for that your whole life....My brother in laws were very chubby and now they are 6'4 and 6'1


Holycow

 

[stinkerbelle]

Originally posted by Miss Jasmine
Anorexia usually HAS NOTHING to do with WEIGHT. It usually caused by control issues.

Bingo!

However, if you are concerned that your DD may have body issues, definetly discuss "realistic" body images.

I also think a good way to encourage a healthy lifestyle, is to practice it every day. You say you are on a diet...are you the only one who follows it in your household, or does the whole family eat the same way? If one person is eating one way, and the rest another, maybe change it so that you are not on a "diet"...but you are changing your "WOE" (way of eating) and promote a healthy lifestyle change in your family.

they will all benefit from it...and will therefore not single out one persons eating habits...you know?

 

[Evil Princess]

Originally posted by Miss Jasmine
Anorexia usually HAS NOTHING to do with WEIGHT. It is usually caused by control issues. One may feel that most things in her/his life are out of control, so she/he finds something to control. A person with anorexia often gets a "high" from not eating because she/he has control over SOMETHING and it feels good. Also, anorexics, when they do eat, have a ritualistic eating style (like just eating certain foods, preparing it certain ways, chewing it x amount of times, etc.). This is another form of CONTROL.

While the media does like to play up an "idealistic" image, and it does cause pressure on, mostly, young ladies, it is a problem that goes way beyond that.

Sometimes it can though. Sometimes it's brought on simply by the fact that one has recently gained lots of weight or thinks shes overweight and goes down the wrong road to lose it. Example, I could view not eating breakfast one morning as "punishing" myself for being overweight.

Personally I think it's alot of factors that contribute, one big one definitely is the media. I never really believed this in high school until I gained weight in college and feel completely horrible about myself. I'm not huge, but my body changed and I can't really deal with the fact that I'm not the way that I "should" and used to look. I am comforted by the fact that I can look in magazines and realize that a star is airbrush and stretched to make them look thinner, however, it does have an effect on me.

Just tell your daughter she's beautiful and perfect just the way she is over and over if she expresses a concern about her weight. Even if she doesn't, compliment her on how she looks when shes ready for school everday. Tell her she's beautiful. When I came home from college 20 pounds heavier and complianed that I was fat my parents agreed with me and didn't protest. I understand that they were used to their 103 pound daughter, but them not trying to re-assure me that I'm still beautiful or convince me that I'm fine and not overweight really takes a toll on me.

 

[Miss Jasmine]

Evil Princess, I didn't say that body image, wanting to live up to ideals, etc. didn't play a role in anorexia. But those things alone, USUALLY, will not cause a person to become anorexic. There is usually a psychological factor present as well. And that factor is usually control issues. Bulimia falls under this as well. A lot of people who have eating disorders are also people who strive for perfection. They are living to be viewed perfect in everyone's eyes. They feel that they have no control over their lives because they are living for everyone else. It then manifests into finding something to control, that no one else can really do anything about. How do you FORCE a person to eat, or not to throw up? You can help them find help, but ultimately it comes down to the inflicted individaul deciding that this is not want they want. That person has to WANT to make the change.

I know these things because I had/have an eating disorder. Like I said on the Mary Kate thread, it is something you always live with, something you are always aware of.

 

[Evil Princess]

Oh no, I didn't mean that what you said WASN'T true, I was just saying that not all psychological disorders, whether it be anorexia or OCD, is always brought on by the same things. What you said was right, I was just trying to bring a different possibility to the discussion. A parent who's child doesn't fit the typical "mold" of an anorexic might see that their daughter isn't so control oriented in things and might overlook it.

What you said was completely true, I didn't mean to disagree with you I have friends with eating disorders (sadly in our society today who doesn't?) and some fit the description, while others do not. I'm glad that you were able to overcome it though.

 

[Miss Jasmine]

Thanks EP, I just really wanted to clarify myself better.

I found this, and thought it interesting:

Psychological Factors:

No one factor causes an eating disorder. The list below is long and incomplete. Everyone is unique but sometimes there are patterns:

For anorexia:
- fear of growing up
- inability to separate from the family
- need to please need to be liked
- perfectionistic drives
- need to control
- need for attention
- lack of self esteem
- high family expectations
- parental dieting
- family *******
- temperment - often described as good girls
- teasing about weight and body shape

For bulimia:
- difficult regulating mood
- more impulsive - sometimes will be involved with shoplifting, substance abuse, etc.
- sexual abuse
- family dysfunction

Social-cultural causes

-the sexual revolution
-emphasis on thinness as the ideal for beauty
-availability and indulgence of food
-role of the media
-obesity and reaction to the larger body size

I got this information from here: http://www.anad.org/site/anadweb/content.php?type=1&id=6982