Annoyed with my MIL!

[java]

oops double post

 

[flying_babyb]

The reason I asked is because my daughter has talked about becoming a She just thinks it would be better for her health in the long run. She has a lot of digestive issues now. She does, however, like to eat meat and I'm sure she would continue to do so occasionally. Would eating meat on rare occasions cause her problems? I guess I'm asking if it would cause her to develop an intolerance toward it. "

I never did. I was a vegetarian for almost 4 years. I ate meat on ocation and was fine. I went back to a meaty diet was just fine. The only reason Im not a vegetarian anymore is because of my job.
Op- I would be mad too.

 

[Stacerita]

I would be peeved. I would make sure MIL knows how sick he became and talk to her. Let her know that you know she didn't mean to make him sick, but it can be avoided in the future.

 

[mjantz]

If you have a Sonic Drive-In in the area they offer a grilled cheese sandwich & you can get apple dippers or a banana as a side (or tater tots or fries). They also offer juice, milk (white or chocolate) or a slushy as a drink option. One of my DDs friends is Catholic & they went to Sonic on Fridays for lunch during Lent because they could get a grilled cheese.

AFA the other stuff, I think you may have to make a list. We try & watch what our kids eat (although we're not veggie) & I've found it easier at times to bring our own food to peoples houses so the kids can have healthier options. I'm not a Nazi about it (& I'm definitely not saying you are) and I do realize 1 cupcake won't kill them but after the cupcake I like them having healthier options.

 

[Jaclynfett]

I hope your son feels better ASAP! Hopefully it will get through his system fast! It's so sad that he asked for veggies and she couldn't give him 1 decent meal.

 

[Diva of Dragons]

I never did. I was a vegetarian for almost 4 years. I ate meat on ocation and was fine. I went back to a meaty diet was just fine. The only reason Im not a vegetarian anymore is because of my job.
Op- I would be mad too.

Sorry, just curious how your job affects your diet?


Anyway, OP, I would be miffed but you have had plenty of advice. I'm a veggie too and I already have people giving me a hard time about it for when we get kids. I actually get sick if I smell cooking meat, after being off of it for 22 years, so I'm not bringing it in the house any time soon.

Hope your DS feels better.

 

[*JoGo*]

I'd have dh call her and tell her how sick ds was. I'd have dh do it b/c she's HIS mom, and it'd be less likely to cause bad blood between you and her.

She's well aware of your ds's diet. I'm sure she could've found a proper option at nearly any fast food place, Wendy's - several salads to choose from minus the chicken. Burger King - I saw a post advertising veggie burgers there. Taco Bell -- aside from the bean burritos, there's the cheese roll up. My fave lunch is a bean burrito, cheese roll up, and cinnamon twists. There's also nachos and cheese. Chipotle - love the veggie burrito bowl, or quesadillas w/ just cheese. A few would be more difficult, like KFC, but there are plenty of OTHER options. Next time, I'd make up a list of fast food/restaurants w/ what he can order from each. She can't claim she didn't know AND most importantly ds doesn't get sick.

Also, as a previous poster said, happy meal toys can be purchased seperately for $1. Maybe she didn't know. I'd def. make her aware.

 

[Liberty Belle]

I understand your frustration but it sounds as if your MIL wouldn't know how to feed him properly. You admit that she is obese and makes no attempts to curb it. While healthy eaters can be obese, that's not the norm. Your MIL is the way she is for a reason--she does not know how or want to make good choices. She obviously doesn't even want to prepare food.

That's the one thing about sending your kids out elsewhere to stay--you cannot hold them hostage to your eating values. I doubt you can change her. In the future, I would explain again to her that your son has a very sensitive stomach, he is not used to processed foods, and with that you should send over some containers with a premade lunch and dinner if necessary.

Or...maybe MIL has a food addiction problem. I can't see how anyone can say she hasn't tried to lose weight. I doubt she broadcasts it every time she tries. And, just because someone takes a grandchild out for a special treat of fast food doesn't mean they don't want to prepare food. We do an occasional fast food treat and I love to prepare food.

BUT, I do agree that she should not have given him the hamburger and I'd make it clear that she is not to give him anything like that again.

 

[koima]

DH called her and was really calm and non-accusatory letting her know that DS threw up, and later had a bit of diarrhea, after his run in with McDonald's. He was saying basically, "hey, we know you were trying to give him treats but too much makes him sick, and his body just doesn't do well with the meat."

She got defensive and he kept saying, "We're not angry, we just want you to know so in the future you can give him better options." She was saying he didn't want Taco Bell and she didn't know what else to feed him and DH said, "You're the grown up, you pick what he gets, you don't have to give him a million choices. He'll eat what's in front of him." And he does; he's remarkably unpicky. That's a lot better than what I was thinking - he asked for vegetables, so you couldn't have thought to get him a salad?!

I agreed to make a list of approved foods that she can feed him. DH and I sat down and wrote out a full page front and back of things we regularly feed him that take under 5 minutes to prepare or are things you can get prepared already. Hopefully that will help in the future.

Our "primarily vegetarian" includes fish, and very, very rarely poultry. It hasn't ever included red meat for DS. I don't consider myself vegetarian because I do eat those things, but I don't eat them frequently at all, and DS is more likely to get a garden burger when we have poultry.

 

[koima]

Or...maybe MIL has a food addiction problem. I can't see how anyone can say she hasn't tried to lose weight. I doubt she broadcasts it every time she tries. And, just because someone takes a grandchild out for a special treat of fast food doesn't mean they don't want to prepare food. We do an occasional fast food treat and I love to prepare food.

BUT, I do agree that she should not have given him the hamburger and I'd make it clear that she is not to give him anything like that again.

I sincerely believe that she does have a food addiction and has tried to lose weight, but she hasn't made any serious long term efforts at it, or perhaps she has but hasn't actually had any progress in the 10 years I've known her. She does not like to cook or prepare food and eats out almost all the time.

 

[dolphinrescuegirl]

Op, sorry to hear your son got sick. Please don't take this wrong. I am not questioning the way you feed your son. I'm just curious. Did his sensitivity to meat happen so you started the vegetarian diet or is it because he is not used to eating those types of foods now that causes him to get ill?

The reason I asked is because my daughter has talked about becoming a vegetarian. She just thinks it would be better for her health in the long run. She has a lot of digestive issues now. She does, however, like to eat meat and I'm sure she would continue to do so occasionally. Would eating meat on rare occasions cause her problems? I guess I'm asking if it would cause her to develop an intolerance toward it.

I have gone vegetarian except for pork. My mom made some brisket at Christmas and I couldn't resist. Both times it made me extremely sick to my stomach. Once your body gets used to no meat, it rebels when you try to feed it meat.

 

[flying_babyb]

Sorry, just curious how your job affects your diet?

We have meat daily. They only allow substutions for allergies, so its eat the meat or starve (my break is at 2pm).

 

[Disney Doll]

I understand your frustration but it sounds as if your MIL wouldn't know how to feed him properly. You admit that she is obese and makes no attempts to curb it. While healthy eaters can be obese, that's not the norm. Your MIL is the way she is for a reason--she does not know how or want to make good choices. She obviously doesn't even want to prepare food.

That's the one thing about sending your kids out elsewhere to stay--you cannot hold them hostage to your eating values. I doubt you can change her. In the future, I would explain again to her that your son has a very sensitive stomach, he is not used to processed foods, and with that you should send over some containers with a premade lunch and dinner if necessary.

I'm not sure what's so hard about "Don't feed him meat". Even if she doesn't want to prepare food, most fast food places offer salads etc. The kid asked for vegetables, for cring out loud. It's nt like the kid doesn't eat processed food...he eats stuff at Taco Bell and elsewhere...he just doesn't eat meat.

I'm going to guess that this was "MIL with food issues" way of trying to "prove" that eating meat wouldn't hurt him.

 

[NHdisneylover]

FYI--Every McDonalds I have been to in the US (in many states) will sell you a "grilled cheese" kids' meal if you ask (it's not on the menu). They use two of the round middle buns from a Big Mac and the cheese they use for everything. DS (who just doesn't like meat other than chicken and will not go near McDs chicken) used to get this when we were traveling. You can get it with apple slices instead of fries and then milk for the drink. The Happy Meal is still not healthy--but it is less terrible Maybe it would be good to let MiL know this is an option for feeding him as well.

Personally, I think given that you know MiL meant no harm I would very nicely let her know that he ended up sick and htat you KNOW she had not intended for him to be. Let her know you think it was just too much grease and sugar and meat (which he is not accustomed to) all at once for his system to process. Then let her know about the grilled cheese option and some other possible fast food like treats she could get him next time if he doesn't want a bean burrito. If she is used to eating fast food and doesn't really know wher eto begin to prepare what he normally has--work within her "norm" to find things that will still work for your son on the days she is treating him (and she will feel like she is "trating" still) Such as:
Broccoli and cheese (or just sour cream and chive) baked potato at Wendys
fruit and yogurt parfait at McDonald's
cheese pizza from any number of places
salad from jsut about anywhere
mozarella sticks from Burger king or (I think) Arbys
pasta marinara at Fazolis

 

[Christine]

Or...maybe MIL has a food addiction problem. I can't see how anyone can say she hasn't tried to lose weight. I doubt she broadcasts it every time she tries. And, just because someone takes a grandchild out for a special treat of fast food doesn't mean they don't want to prepare food. We do an occasional fast food treat and I love to prepare food.

BUT, I do agree that she should not have given him the hamburger and I'd make it clear that she is not to give him anything like that again.

I was just making assumptions based on the tone of the OP's first post. I truly don't have a CLUE to this woman's motivation, why she's obese, or if she's dieted previously.

 

[NHdisneylover]

Op, sorry to hear your son got sick. Please don't take this wrong. I am not questioning the way you feed your son. I'm just curious. Did his sensitivity to meat happen so you started the vegetarian diet or is it because he is not used to eating those types of foods now that causes him to get ill?

The reason I asked is because my daughter has talked about becoming a vegetarian. She just thinks it would be better for her health in the long run. She has a lot of digestive issues now. She does, however, like to eat meat and I'm sure she would continue to do so occasionally. Would eating meat on rare occasions cause her problems? I guess I'm asking if it would cause her to develop an intolerance toward it.

I think it deoends somewhat on the person. I ahve not eaten red meat or pork regularly in 20 years. I tried to eat some once in a while in my early 20s to "fit in" at dinner parties, etc. Every time I was sick afterwards (stomache cramps and diarhea). Now I jsut avoid it all together.

DS10 does not like meat (other than the occasional chicken). Probably because I do not make it much (though his 12 year old sister loves it). The one and only exception to that is a meximelt at Taco Bell He can eat one of those every so often with no ill effects.

We have meat daily. They only allow substutions for allergies, so its eat the meat or starve (my break is at 2pm).

Maybe I am confusing you with another poster (I tend to do that) but I thought you worked at a daycare or preschool If the preschool/daycare gets any kind of federal funding for their food (and even if they do not if they have the kids' nutritional intersets at heart at all) they also serve fruit/veggie side dishes and grains as well as milk to drink. If you really want to keep eating vegetarian (nothing worng with you not doing so if you prefer to eat meat) then just fill up enough on sides to last until your break. I worked at a daycare and ate lunch with the kids for several years in college. This is hwat I did

 

[Nancyg56]

When my kids were little they never had soda and very few fast foods, I just could not afford it. My IL's always fed them soda, as much as they wanted and the little guy would be sick as soon as he got home he would be sick. I stayed on night, he got sick there. My FIL thought that I would clean it up. I helped but handed him some rags and told him that from nowon if they fed the kids foods that made them sick they got to keep them. It never happened again.

OP- just tell your MIL that her choices this time made the little guy sick. Ask her to stick to an approved list and make sure that she knows that the foods are not a punishment but are actually what he likes and will not make him cry in the night.

 

[Laura]

I'm not sure what's so hard about "Don't feed him meat". Even if she doesn't want to prepare food, most fast food places offer salads etc. The kid asked for vegetables, for cring out loud. It's nt like the kid doesn't eat processed food...he eats stuff at Taco Bell and elsewhere...he just doesn't eat meat.

I'm going to guess that this was "MIL with food issues" way of trying to "prove" that eating meat wouldn't hurt him.

That was my thought too.

 

[shortbun]

Happy Meal toys can be purchased seperately, usually for about a dollar. I like the suggestion of making a list of the different fast food places and acceptable options to send with him when he goes to Grandma's. He could have had a salad and the apple dippers and bought the toy seperately.

I am overweight and NOT a healthy eater but all that in one day would make me sick!

Yep...this is what you've got to do-give her a list of what the meal should be at each fast food establishment and remind her that it doesn't HAVE to be a kid's meal to get the toy.

Also, a previous poster said McDonald's fries are made with lard but around here they've all switched to vegetable fat. My son is a vegetarian-his choice. We eat mostly vegetarian meals and when we don't, there are Morningstar Farms choices for him in the frig or he can have a bean burrito. Tell your MIL that many restaurants-Applebees and others will substitute a veggie burger for any of their burgers. It's someplace else she could take him and order him the veggie medley along with his meal. If you arm her with a booklet of choices then she can't go wrong-unless she's determined.

Calmly tell her how sick your 3yo was when he got home after the gluttonous overnight and ask her to spread the Grandma treats over several days-not all at once. Do it with a smile on your face and love in your voice. Tell her you know it's hard and you realize that she's not used to the way he eats normally. Packing some things for him is a good idea. When my son first became a vegetarian, I'd take whole meals for him in a cooler and a bag of groceries when he spent the weekend with Grandma. She now stocks her own frig and freezer with stuff he'll eat -good grandma - and takes pride in having even tasted some of it herself.

 

[Chereya]

I have a personal theory about why some people have bad stomach reactions to eating the ocassional meat when they are primarily vegetarian. I think it has to do with the makeup of beneficial bacteria in the intestinal tract. Most babies get their mothers' bacteria when they are born the non-c-section method. (Trying to avoid the asterisks filter. ) For a vegetarian mother, that could mean that your infant will pick up the bacteria for breaking down veggies but not meats.

For adults, perhaps after a period of time not eating meats, the bacteria that breaks meat down dies off. Some other people are able to eat meat on ocassion and do ok - I'd guess they still have some of that bacteria living in their systems to help with digestion.

Just my theory.