Annoyed at DH re: credit card chargeback

[ajk912]

If anyone can offer any insight whether DH is telling the truth, or if he's just saying what I want to hear, please let me know. This is why I am posting, to see if anyone has BTDT. This is about a Bank of America credit card.

I pay all the bills, and I noticed a charge of $39.95 from Cinemaden.com on DH's credit card last month. I asked him about it, and he said there shouldn't have been a charge, but that he did sign up for a free streaming site but you had to verify identity (that you lived in the US) by providing a credit card, but it wouldn't be charged. Well it was, almoat $40. I told him to call the company and they said it would be $2 to cancel the service (what service, obviously a scam site) I do believe him on that, google said the same, why on Earth he didn't google before giving the website his credit card info is beyond me..

So I told hiim to call the credit card company because he didn't authorize those charges. He said he did, but the chargeback never arrived. Again, this month, we got hit with another $39.95. I don't think he called last month, just said what I wanted to hear. But I do believe he did call yesterday, but Bank of America said he would only get back one of the $39.95 charges. Ok, fine, I am ok with that, I just want this stopped. My DH said he cancelled the card and requested a new one, but nothing is showing on the website, and in fact I had a Netflix charge hit (I didn't realize this was our billing cycle)- it doesn't sound like he cancelled the card at all? Or does cancelling it not block future charges? So we may have this stupid cinemaden charge AGAIN next month, cancelled card and all?

I am not an authorized user on the card, so I can't call, I am just the one who makes the money stretch so obviously DH doesn't care except to get me to stop asking him to fix it.

Yes, I do realize I have bigger problems than this (for those wondering) that I can't trust my DH to make a call and tell the truth about it. But three kids and eleven years of marriage, you have to take the sucky flaws with the good, and make the best of it. I do realize it sucks!!!

Thank you for the help!

 

[SaraJayne]

I have no advice for you, since I would never question anything on my husband's credit card (just like he doesn't question anything on mine).

I'm not his mother.

If this all just happened yesterday, I'd give it at least a week before I started getting upset about it.

 

[It'sWDW4me]

If he did call and cancel/get a new card, I believe that the account number would be different. The Netflix charge may or may not have been able to come through if the account was closed..

But I'm guessing he didn't close the account last month.

Do you each get a weekly or monthly allowance/budget/pocket money? If so, I'd let him know that if another of those charges comes through, the $40 is coming out of his "fun" money. "Sorry, hon, no golf fee/night at the bar with the boys/new fishing pole money - another charge came through from Cinemaden." See how many months that happens.

 

[HsvTeacher]

We recently had to cancel two cards, because our numbers were compromised. No new charges were allowed from that point, however, we did have more automatic charges that showed up a few days later. Those ended up being things that were already charged and approved but took a few days to show up on our account.

 

[mjkacmom]

I have no advice for you, since I would never question anything on my husband's credit card (just like he doesn't question anything on mine).
.

Really? I pay the bills, and look over every bill, and every detail of our verizon bill (cellphone, phone, cable, internet), to make sure all of the charges are valid. If I can't figure one out, I'll ask my DH for clarification. There was once a charge to a service that sent money to those in jail. Turns out our card was compromised, we had the charge disputed, and got a new account number. I'm not blindly paying anything. If the OP didn't question this charge, they'd be paying $40 a month for nothing.

 

[kymmyk13]

Have you checked the website that he sign up on to see what type is is. That may be another issue.

 

[SaraJayne]

Really? I pay the bills, and look over every bill, and every detail of our verizon bill (cellphone, phone, cable, internet), to make sure all of the charges are valid. If I can't figure one out, I'll ask my DH for clarification. There was once a charge to a service that sent money to those in jail. Turns out our card was compromised, we had the charge disputed, and got a new account number. I'm not blindly paying anything. If the OP didn't question this charge, they'd be paying $40 a month for nothing.

Really. It's his responsibility to look over his bill. If there is something "off" on his bill, he takes care of it.

Same with mine.

 

[daughtersrus]

If anyone can offer any insight whether DH is telling the truth, or if he's just saying what I want to hear, please let me know. This is why I am posting, to see if anyone has BTDT. This is about a Bank of America credit card.

I pay all the bills, and I noticed a charge of $39.95 from Cinemaden.com on DH's credit card last month. I asked him about it, and he said there shouldn't have been a charge, but that he did sign up for a free streaming site but you had to verify identity (that you lived in the US) by providing a credit card, but it wouldn't be charged. Well it was, almoat $40. I told him to call the company and they said it would be $2 to cancel the service (what service, obviously a scam site) I do believe him on that, google said the same, why on Earth he didn't google before giving the website his credit card info is beyond me..

So I told hiim to call the credit card company because he didn't authorize those charges. He said he did, but the chargeback never arrived. Again, this month, we got hit with another $39.95. I don't think he called last month, just said what I wanted to hear. But I do believe he did call yesterday, but Bank of America said he would only get back one of the $39.95 charges. Ok, fine, I am ok with that, I just want this stopped. My DH said he cancelled the card and requested a new one, but nothing is showing on the website, and in fact I had a Netflix charge hit (I didn't realize this was our billing cycle)- it doesn't sound like he cancelled the card at all? Or does cancelling it not block future charges? So we may have this stupid cinemaden charge AGAIN next month, cancelled card and all?

I am not an authorized user on the card, so I can't call, I am just the one who makes the money stretch so obviously DH doesn't care except to get me to stop asking him to fix it.

Yes, I do realize I have bigger problems than this (for those wondering) that I can't trust my DH to make a call and tell the truth about it. But three kids and eleven years of marriage, you have to take the sucky flaws with the good, and make the best of it. I do realize it sucks!!!

Thank you for the help!

Why not ask your DH to add you to the card so that you can take care of any problems that arise?

 

[mjkacmom]

Really. It's his responsibility to look over his bill. If there is something "off" on his bill, he takes care of it.

Same with mine.

We both charge on the same credit cards, two are in his name, one in mine (and I always forget which ones are which, so when we need to call, we both have to be home). DH doesn't see the bills unless I show him. He doesn't clean toilets, either. We have our own responsibilites.

 

[BriarfoxinWA]

Really. It's his responsibility to look over his bill. If there is something "off" on his bill, he takes care of it.

Same with mine.

My DH rarely if ever looks at his credit card bill. I usually review it and if there is something that doesn't look right I'll ask him. I've also had the same problems with him not disputing a charge right away, mainly because it is a hassle to do and he doesn't want to spend the time on the phone with the card company.

We've disputed charges and closed cards for fraud before. The disputed charge should be credited back to your account within a day or so. Bank of America allows you to dispute charges on line, as does US Bank... I'm not sure about Chase. So if you can access those accounts online you could do it for him.

 

[RadioNate]

Yes, I do realize I have bigger problems than this (for those wondering) that I can't trust my DH to make a call and tell the truth about it. But three kids and eleven years of marriage, you have to take the sucky flaws with the good, and make the best of it. I do realize it sucks!!!

Thank you for the help!

I think the bigger problem is that the guy can't spend $40 without getting the 3rd degree.

I get it. Cinemaden.com is a scam and it does need to be dealt with but I think I'd be "telling you what you wanted to hear" too if a $40 charge caused this much of a hassle.

Have him put you as an authorized user on his card then you can make sure the issues are taking care of to your satisfaction.

I think he did call. I also think this is a site like AOL that makes canceling VERY VERY difficult. Pre-authorized charges, like Netflix can be billed to recently canceled charges if the authorization was approved before the cancellation. The bank likely would have told him what the pending charges were on the phone.

The guy got scammed. He knows that. A little compassion may go a lot farther than you think.

 

[DawnCt1]

Really? I pay the bills, and look over every bill, and every detail of our verizon bill (cellphone, phone, cable, internet), to make sure all of the charges are valid. If I can't figure one out, I'll ask my DH for clarification. There was once a charge to a service that sent money to those in jail. Turns out our card was compromised, we had the charge disputed, and got a new account number. I'm not blindly paying anything. If the OP didn't question this charge, they'd be paying $40 a month for nothing.

I agree with you. I don't question my husband's right to purchase anything, nor does he question mine, but I pay all of the bills coming into the house every month. I always have. I have the time. He does not. I would be remise not to scrutinize a credit card bill, a phone bill, cable bill, etc.

 

[Nik's Mom]

I understand asking about a charge because it can be fraud. I also handle all of the bills in our home. If I see an unusual charge, I ask dh if he knows about the charge in question. If he says yes, then I don't question it. I'm just trying to make sure there is no credit card fraud. I trust that my dh isn't going to just throw money away. He is very good with money.

But if the op has a dh that isn't very responsible when it comes to finances, maybe that is why she is pushing the issue.

 

[Jaime4004]

I agree with you. I don't question my husband's right to purchase anything, nor does he question mine, but I pay all of the bills coming into the house every month. I always have. I have the time. He does not. I would be remise not to scrutinize a credit card bill, a phone bill, cable bill, etc.

Same here, I don't think my husband has looked at any bills in the past 10 years, unless I've showed it to him.
There have been a few times that I've needed DH to call someone for some reason and it usually takes several nudges before he gets it done...

 

[powellrj]

I think the bigger problem is that the guy can't spend $40 without getting the 3rd degree.

I get it. Cinemaden.com is a scam and it does need to be dealt with but I think I'd be "telling you what you wanted to hear" too if a $40 charge caused this much of a hassle.

Have him put you as an authorized user on his card then you can make sure the issues are taking care of to your satisfaction.

I think he did call. I also think this is a site like AOL that makes canceling VERY VERY difficult. Pre-authorized charges, like Netflix can be billed to recently canceled charges if the authorization was approved before the cancellation. The bank likely would have told him what the pending charges were on the phone.

The guy got scammed. He knows that. A little compassion may go a lot farther than you think.

 

[ccgirl]

First of all, have your hubby as you as an authorized user. I did that since I pay all of the bills. No, I am not his mother but he is not very fiscally responsible. I do not want to be late on the mortgage so it is my business. I have disputed a charge with BoA via live chat and had the amount credited to my account within an hour. Luckily, you caught this now. Sounds like it was a recurring monthly charge of $40 so that would be $480 at the end of the year. Once anything hits $100 we discuss it together as that is a good amount of $$ in our budget.

Good luck.

 

[ajk912]

Thanks guys! I probably will have him add my as an authorized user, we just haven't done that yet since nothing has ever happened with the card before now. I pay the bills, he doesn't even open them, so of course I will bring it to his attention if something is out of the ordinary. Otherwise he wouldn't even know.

As for the be compassionate comments, this isn't a huge deal in the house, I was just wondering whether to push the issue or believe what he said at face value.

Thanks for the help!

 

[Carly_Roach]

I agree with you. I don't question my husband's right to purchase anything, nor does he question mine, but I pay all of the bills coming into the house every month. I always have. I have the time. He does not. I would be remise not to scrutinize a credit card bill, a phone bill, cable bill, etc.

Same here. DH has neither the time nor the inclination to watch every detail on the bills. And while I have to make the time to watch the bills, I'm very invested in making sure everything's right. When we had CC's, if I saw a charge that I was suspicious about I'd ask my DH if he knew about it. If he didn't, then I'd call to get more information. If he did, then that was the end of it and I paid the bill.

Thanks guys! I probably will have him add my as an authorized user, we just haven't done that yet since nothing has ever happened with the card before now. I pay the bills, he doesn't even open them, so of course I will bring it to his attention if something is out of the ordinary. Otherwise he wouldn't even know.

As for the be compassionate comments, this isn't a huge deal in the house, I was just wondering whether to push the issue or believe what he said at face value.

Thanks for the help!

Meh. I'd believe that he may have been lazy or forgot to call or didn't want to call or any of the other reasons men don't do things they're supposed to. OR he could have called and didn't want to go through the 1/2 hour on hold, 20 minutes trying to get the account closed, etc, etc, etc.

 

[sbell111]

As for the be compassionate comments, this isn't a huge deal in the house, I was just wondering whether to push the issue or believe what he said at face value.

What's the downside of believing your husband?

 

[mjkacmom]

What's the downside of believing your husband?

Because maybe he has a track record of fibbing about doing something he was supposed to do, which, in this case, will cost more $.