Annoyed at DH re: credit card chargeback

[ajk912]

Because maybe he has a track record of fibbing about doing something he was supposed to do, which, in this case, will cost more $.

Ditto. I just want it fixed before next month when it could get charged again. And I believe it's all fixed now, he was off again today and he decided to "followup" with the credit card company, and he said they three way called the other company and they got it fixed. Whatever, that's all I care about.

 

[Kathi OD]

I think the bigger problem is that the guy can't spend $40 without getting the 3rd degree.

I don't think the guy is getting the 3rd degree about the $40 purchase. The 3rd degree is about him not doing what he said he was going to do.

The guy got scammed. He knows that. A little compassion may go a lot farther than you think.

Huh? OP rechecking the following month to see if the charge came off is not an attack on her DH. It's called being responsible.

Really. It's his responsibility to look over his bill. If there is something "off" on his bill, he takes care of it.

Same with mine.

What works for one couple doesn't necessarily work for another. In your relationship two people are responsible for the same chore, paying bills. Do you each mow 1/2 the lawn, make 1/2 the bed, wash 1/2 the dishes?

You'll find that many others find it much simpler for one person to take responsibility for a specific chore and do the whole thing, rather than splitting it up into parts.

 

[ols386]

I'd do the same thing, op. If I'm the one that normally pays the bills and there is a charge on the credit card that seemed out of place, I would definitly ask dh about it.

And I certainly wouldn't think that you are giving dh the third degree, or not being compasionate, by asking him about the charge on the credit card.

 

[SaraJayne]

What works for one couple doesn't necessarily work for another. In your relationship two people are responsible for the same chore, paying bills. Do you each mow 1/2 the lawn, make 1/2 the bed, wash 1/2 the dishes?

You'll find that many others find it much simpler for one person to take responsibility for a specific chore and do the whole thing, rather than splitting it up into parts.

No, because only one of us takes care of the bills. What I was responding to was the guy getting questioned about $40 on his credit card bill.

We don't work that way...obviously the OP does.

 

[tlbwriter]

I guess you may have a different definition of "questioned." To me, the OP's questioning was not "How dare you spend this $40, what were you thinking?" It's more like "Is this a legitimate charge?" My husband usually pays the bills and he often asks me what a charge is for (so he can categorize it in Quicken) and I don't feel I'm being "questioned."

 

[Michelle and crew]

Questioning is helpful when looking for fraud or scams. DH didn't read the small print when he signed up for freecreditreport. I caught it. He cancelled it. But if it turned up again I would ask him about it. Or I could just keep paying for something we weren't using.

 

[RUDisney]

Your DH can very well be telling the truth about cancelling the service. Let me tell you my DH's story. He signed up for a service at a record store that was free for 30 days and then you'd have to pay. For this trouble, he got a 10% discount on the CD he was buying. When he called to cancel, they told him he was not in the system and he'd have to wait for it to catch up with him before he cancelled.

He tried for 4 months to cancel that service. It was $10/month. Turns out that they spelled his name wrong in the computer and that's why they could never find him. They finally reversed all of the charges after we called the credit card company and they called the service and they had a conference call.

It was all very frustrating. Maybe he could get BOA on the phone and have them patch in the service so the charges can all be reversed once and for all.

 

[wvjules]

Thanks guys! I probably will have him add my as an authorized user, we just haven't done that yet since nothing has ever happened with the card before now. I pay the bills, he doesn't even open them, so of course I will bring it to his attention if something is out of the ordinary. Otherwise he wouldn't even know.

As for the be compassionate comments, this isn't a huge deal in the house, I was just wondering whether to push the issue or believe what he said at face value.
Thanks for the help!

Asking the DIS if you should belive your husband?

 

[4greatboys]

Same here, I don't think my husband has looked at any bills in the past 10 years, unless I've showed it to him.
There have been a few times that I've needed DH to call someone for some reason and it usually takes several nudges before he gets it done...

Same here. Dh doesn't look at any of the bills unless I specifically point something out to him. I pay all the bills--his, mine or ours. If I see something I don't know what it is I would definately ask him what it is.

 

[LuvCuteBoys]

1. Initiating a chargeback doesn't guarantee that you will get the money back. If the vendor can produce the required information in the allotted time, you don't get the money back.

2. Being added as an authorized user on someone's credit card can affect your FICO score.

 

[ajk912]

I guess you may have a different definition of "questioned." To me, the OP's questioning was not "How dare you spend this $40, what were you thinking?" It's more like "Is this a legitimate charge?" My husband usually pays the bills and he often asks me what a charge is for (so he can categorize it in Quicken) and I don't feel I'm being "questioned."

Right, when it first appeared last month it was a company we had never done business with in the past, so I wasn't sure if it was legit or not. He never opens bills (he has no reason to, I handle it) so unless something is out of the norm he'd have no way of knowing unless I brought it up.

 

[ajk912]

Asking the DIS if you should belive your husband?

I was just wondering if anyone had BTDT with the way a credit card company (BofA in particular) does chargebacks. It didn't seem right so before I started accusing him IRL I figured I'd ask around. Like some men, he is prone to say what I want to hear (sure, I will mow the lawn tomorrow, yes, I will do X, etc) and I wasn't sure if that was the case. Either way, it's fixed now, I was home when he called back and it would have been really hard to fake that call.

 

[sunnyday123]

If anyone can offer any insight whether DH is telling the truth, or if he's just saying what I want to hear, please let me know. This is why I am posting, to see if anyone has BTDT. This is about a Bank of America credit card.

I pay all the bills, and I noticed a charge of $39.95 from Cinemaden.com on DH's credit card last month. I asked him about it, and he said there shouldn't have been a charge, but that he did sign up for a free streaming site but you had to verify identity (that you lived in the US) by providing a credit card, but it wouldn't be charged. Well it was, almoat $40. I told him to call the company and they said it would be $2 to cancel the service (what service, obviously a scam site) I do believe him on that, google said the same, why on Earth he didn't google before giving the website his credit card info is beyond me..

So I told hiim to call the credit card company because he didn't authorize those charges. He said he did, but the chargeback never arrived. Again, this month, we got hit with another $39.95. I don't think he called last month, just said what I wanted to hear. But I do believe he did call yesterday, but Bank of America said he would only get back one of the $39.95 charges. Ok, fine, I am ok with that, I just want this stopped. My DH said he cancelled the card and requested a new one, but nothing is showing on the website, and in fact I had a Netflix charge hit (I didn't realize this was our billing cycle)- it doesn't sound like he cancelled the card at all? Or does cancelling it not block future charges? So we may have this stupid cinemaden charge AGAIN next month, cancelled card and all?

I am not an authorized user on the card, so I can't call, I am just the one who makes the money stretch so obviously DH doesn't care except to get me to stop asking him to fix it.

Yes, I do realize I have bigger problems than this (for those wondering) that I can't trust my DH to make a call and tell the truth about it. But three kids and eleven years of marriage, you have to take the sucky flaws with the good, and make the best of it. I do realize it sucks!!!

Thank you for the help!

By putting his cc # into the website, he authorized the charges. Pull up the website, and read the fine print. Somewhere in teeny tine print it probably says it's a free trial but if you don't cancel after x amount of days, they will automatically bill you monthly. They're probably telling him he won't get back both charges because they're going by the date he cancelled and it's after the date of one of them ( I'm guessing the first) . Make sure he followed their cancellation policy and write everything down. Cancelling the card won't prevent the charges because they are "recurring" to they'll just over to the new number more than likely. ( If a merchant has to call in for an authorization they could be denied )

Credit card regulations have recently changed, and BOA isn't doing things for the customers-they are making sure they do the bare minimum to cover themselves. They also outsource to India and and third-party company in TN, so you'll probably get different information from every person you talk to.

Check you pm's.

 

[bumbershoot]

Questioning is helpful when looking for fraud or scams. DH didn't read the small print when he signed up for freecreditreport. I caught it. He cancelled it. But if it turned up again I would ask him about it. Or I could just keep paying for something we weren't using.

This was my exact example I was going to use. Hubby believed the "free" part of their site name, didn't read any of the "fine print" (which I call "really important information that you MUST READ before you go any further"), and we started getting charged. I had to press him to keep calling; if I don't press, it falls through the cracks. He is a strangely trusting person, and can get scammed b/c he just doesn't like reading all the info on a website (which is WEIRD b/c we met while doing CS at amazon where most of the problems we were called about were because people didn't READ), and he'll just get so busy with everything he doesn't call...then feels embarrassed and makes up stories...

Really? I pay the bills, and look over every bill, and every detail of our verizon bill (cellphone, phone, cable, internet), to make sure all of the charges are valid. If I can't figure one out, I'll ask my DH for clarification. There was once a charge to a service that sent money to those in jail. Turns out our card was compromised, we had the charge disputed, and got a new account number. I'm not blindly paying anything. If the OP didn't question this charge, they'd be paying $40 a month for nothing.

That, exactly.

What's the downside of believing your husband?

In my case, blind trust for finances cost us $1600 at bare minimum. He sent a check, THOUGHT it had cleared the checking account, and for an entire summer just went on being amazed at how much "extra" money we had...until our acupuncturist called and asked where his money was... The check had never cleared, DH had never done the checking account stuff... So we got to pay that money back to teh acupuncturist b/c it had been spent on other stuff. That was $800. The other $800 was when he'd been put back in charge of money and spent $800 over our budget at Disneyland.

So although I trust him in other areas ("gifting him with my trust" was actually in our wedding vows, and I had to tell him I couldn't do that for money, which was an, um, interesting conversation to say the least), I don't with money for good reasons, he knows it, we're good with it, and I am in charge forevermore.

Blindly trusting my husband with money would lead to ruin.

No, because only one of us takes care of the bills.

But obviously you don't, since you are each looking only at your own CCs and taking care of them only.



OP, glad he made the call. I'm like you...at home and in charge of *saving* us money. Everything is scoured, as it should be! If I don't recognize something, it's going to be questioned.

But unlike many people here, we just don't have the funds for either one of us to be randomly spending money, so YES we have the total right to question the purchases of the other. We have tiny amounts of "blow" money, so neither one of us has carte blanche to do *anything* with money. Would be nice to have the ability to have large amounts of our "own" money, but it's just not the case in our household at this time...so neither one of us can go get whatever we want and not have questions about it.

 

[Happy Mom2]

Once a card is cancelled, a charge can not come through. He just needs to contact the credit card company to dispute the charges. If I remember correctly, he only has 33 days from the date on the statement to dispute it.

 

[seashoreCM]

Generally credit card disputes have to be in writing to be official although some credit card companies will process phone inquiries.

Why don't you write the dispute letter, have him autograph it, and then you send it?

Disney hints: http://www.cockam.com/disney.htm

 

[LuvCuteBoys]

I was just wondering if anyone had BTDT with the way a credit card company (BofA in particular) does chargebacks. It didn't seem right so before I started accusing him IRL I figured I'd ask around. Like some men, he is prone to say what I want to hear (sure, I will mow the lawn tomorrow, yes, I will do X, etc) and I wasn't sure if that was the case. Either way, it's fixed now, I was home when he called back and it would have been really hard to fake that call.

The individual credit card company doesn't dictate chargeback rules. The Visa/MC Agreement does. Once the chargeback is initiated, all of the burden falls on the vendor.

And I'm sure, like some PEOPLE, sometimes your husband says what you want to hear. The male-bashing on this board drives me insane.

 

[sunnyday123]

Once a card is cancelled, a charge can not come through. He just needs to contact the credit card company to dispute the charges. If I remember correctly, he only has 33 days from the date on the statement to dispute it.

You have 60 days to dispute it, and where I work, cancelling the card doesn't work unless the merchant has to get the amount authorized. If it's something that bills monthly, it'll just roll to the new card.

 

[sunnyday123]

The individual credit card company doesn't dictate chargeback rules. The Visa/MC Agreement does. Once the chargeback is initiated, all of the burden falls on the vendor.

And I'm sure, like some PEOPLE, sometimes your husband says what you want to hear. The male-bashing on this board drives me insane.

The regulations put out by Visa/Mc haven't changed, however the banks only have to provide proof that they reasonably investigated your charge. Trust me, they are looking for ways to not help customers to save themselves money.

 

[LuvCuteBoys]

The regulations put out by Visa/Mc haven't changed, however the banks only have to provide proof that they reasonably investigated your charge. Trust me, they are looking for ways to not help customers to save themselves money.

No, the vendor has to prove that the charge is legit, otherwise the money goes back to the customer. The bank isn't the one responsible for the chargeback unless the bank is the one who debited the account.