Anniversary Party

[POPCITY]

Is it okay to throw a 25th anniversary party for yourself, or is it just tacky? Our 25th is next year, and I really want to have a big catered type of party. I googled it, and most everything I found talked about people throwing parties for their parents. DS will only be 9, so I know he won't be doing it.

Also, if it is okay, what do I do about gifts? We don't want any, but since you're not supposed to mention gifts on invitations, what do you do? I don't want it to seem like an excuse for us to get stuff, YKWIM?

 

[buckler]

There is a thread on the budget board about a 50th anniversary party and I said when the time comes, if I want a party I'd pay for it myself, not ask my kids to pay. So, I don't see the problem with it.

I googled suggestions for how to word it so you don't get gifts

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Gift Declining Wording Ideas

We wish to share our happiness with you, our family and friends. No gifts please.

The only gift you should bring is yourself.

The only gift we request is the gift of your presence.

No gifts please.

Your friendship and good wishes are the best gifts that we could hope to receive.

Your warmhearted wishes would be our most cherished gift.

Please let your good wishes be your only gifts to us.

Please let your good wishes for our future together be your only gift to us.

 

[dislaney]

I don't see why not. If we make it that long I would do it. Can you tell he is getting on my nerves today?

 

[Diva of Dragons]

Yes, I do think it's OK. Personally, I think it's OK to say you don't want gifts. I like it when people say things like "no presents, just your presence", etc.... Takes the guess work out of it. We did a big luau for our 40th B'days. We had a some charities that we asked people to donate to, if they wanted, in lieu of gifts.

Side note: We chose 3 charities. 1 was people related, 1 was environmental, 1 was an animal one. Because, people have there preferences and soft spots. Two people insisted on giving to charities, of their choice, that would not ever back on my own dime. But, I sucked it up and decided that if if the occasion moved them to give, then I should be OK with it. LOL!

We are thinking about doing the same for our 20th anniversary, this year. Although, it would be at my Mom's house, so it looks like she's throwing it. LOL!

Disclaimer: I'm not super hung up on etiquette. I just want people to have good time. The things I care about are getting an invite early enough to actually put the event on my calendar and RSVPs!! The rest is just a party.

 

[Piglet843]

I definately think you should do it....

There is absolutely nothing that should stop you from celebrating your marriage to your husband.
And I think most people will appreciate that.

And use Buckler's ideas for the gift situation....
I like this one:
The only gift we request is the gift of your presence.

 

[mom2travel]

I think it would be perfectly fine for you to throw yourselves a party. Obviously depends on how formal you want it to be, but could do a "please join us for a party to celebrate our anniversary" and any of the suggestions above for the "no gifts" part

 

[mom2travel]

I'm not super hung up on etiquette. I just want people to have good time. The things I care about are getting an invite early enough to actually put the event on my calendar and RSVPs!! The rest is just a party.

ita

 

[cheermom1]

When my time comes I'm one HUGE party, I already told everyone and NO I do not expect anyone to pay for it or plan it. IMO it is wrong to expect anyone else to plan or pay for a party YOU want. I am going to be saving for it when it get about 5 years before the one I want so I'll have plenty of money.

I say do what you want and don;t worry about it and just have fun!

 

[buckler]

DS will only be 9, so I know he won't be doing it.

It might be fun to see what he came up with though...an open Capri Sun bar...fruit roll ups with little tooth picks as hors d'oeuvres...a selection of Lunchables for dinner...

 

[pearlieq]

Feel free to throw yourselves a party. It's definitely an occasion to celebrate!

As for the gifts issue, as nice as some of the suggestions are, there really should be no mention at all of gifts on the invitation. It implies a gift would otherwise have been expected, which is definitely not the case.

Assuming that you aren't throwing anniversary parties every year, no one is going to think that you hosting a celebration of a milestone anniversary is a gift grab. If you received an invitation for a similar party in the mail, would you really think "Oh, those Smiths. Always looking for a gift!"? Of course not!

Word of mouth is pretty effective. You can enlist a few VERY close friends and family members to spread the word that you'd prefer no gifts. If anyone asks you what you'd like for a gift, tell them you'd prefer no gifts and ask them to spread the word too. That should take care of 80% of the crowd.

Here's the thing: 20% are going to bring you gifts no matter what. Even if you straight-out say "no gifts please" on the invitation, a few people are going to ignore it. The best you can do with them is to graciously accept the gift, hustle it out of view as soon as possible, and send them a thank you note after the party. Don't let them accumulate on a makeshift gift table, and certainly don't open them during the celebration. That should minimize awkwardness.

Hope it's a great bash!

 

[Tinkermommy]

I say go for it. And I think it is fine in this situation to request no gifts.

That said, I have been married almost 23 years. I often joke that you should get to throw a party and get all new dishes, linens, etc when you have a 25th anniversary. It doesn't take much to get married, but to stay married is an accomplishment that should be celebrated and rewarded! Plus I would really like all new stuff!!!!

When I got married my grandfather told me if I got divorced in the first year I had to give him all of my wedding gifts. I agreed, I knew my DH was a keeper. He was tired of people having big weddings and people giving them gifts and then getting were divorced shortly after!

 

[The Mystery Machine]

I would prefer listing "no gifts" suggestion on the invite, tacky or not. I hate gift shopping.

 

[Breezy_Carol]

My DB did wedding part II for his 25th. They had a vow reaffirmation ("not renewal - the first ones didn't run out") with attendants and everything. Then a party at a country club that was like a reception followed by a trip to Aruba. He told me to take notes for my 25th.

As far as gifts, tacky or not, I would like it spelled out that gifts were not wanted. You can do it without being tacky.

BTW, on our 25th we went to an away college football game to see DS in the band and then 3 nights at the beach.

 

[POPCITY]

It might be fun to see what he came up with though...an open Capri Sun bar...fruit roll ups with little tooth picks as hors d'oeuvres...a selection of Lunchables for dinner...

I think chicken nuggets and pb and j would be the only food. Maybe some beef jerky...........

Thank you all for your replies, I really appreciate the input! I guess we're having a party!