And then the fight started.....

[meliss8599]

I got these in an email and OMG, these are laugh out loud, hysterically funny. They are too good not to share:

How Fights Start

My wife sat down on the seat next to me as I was flipping channels.. She asked,
'What's on TV?'

I said, 'Dust.'

And then the fight started...


******************************************


My wife and I were watching "Who Wants To Be A Millionaire" while we were in bed. I turned to her and said, "Do you want to have (another word for "nookie")?"

"No," she answered.

I then said, "Is that your final answer?"

She didn't even look at me this time, simply saying, "Yes."

So I said, "Then I'd like to phone a friend."

And then the fight started....



******************************************



Saturday morningI got up early, quietly dressed, made my lunch, and slipped quietly into the garage. I hooked up the boat up to the van, and proceeded to back out into a torrential downpour. The wind was blowing 50 mph, so I pulled back into the garage, turned on the radio, and discovered that the weather would be bad all day.

I went back into the house, quietly undressed, and slipped back into bed. I cuddled up to my wife's back, now with a different anticipation, and whispered, "The weather out there is terrible."

My loving wife of 5 years replied, "Can you believe my stupid husband is out fishing in that?"

And that's how the fight started...



******************************************



My wife was hinting about what she wanted for our upcoming anniversary. She said, 'I want something shiny that goes from 0 to 150 in about 3 seconds....'

I bought her a bathroom scale.

And then the fight started....



******************************************


My wife and I were sitting at a table at my school reunion, and I kept staring at a drunken lady swigging her drink as she sat alone at a nearby table.

My wife asked, 'Do you know her?'

'Yes,' I sighed, 'She's my old girlfriend. I understand she took to drinking right after we split up those many years ago, and I hear she hasn't been sober since.'

'My God!' says my wife, 'who would think a person could go on celebrating that long?'

And then the fight started...



******************************************



I took my wife to a restaurant. The waiter, for some reason took my order first. "I'll have the steak, medium rare, please."

He said, "Aren't you worried about the mad cow?""

Nah, she can order for herself.."

And then the fight started...



******************************************


A woman was standing nude, looking in the bedroom mirror. She was not happy with what she saw and said to her husband, "I feel horrible; I look old, fat and ugly. I really need you to pay me a compliment.'

The husband replied, 'Your eyesight's d@#n near perfect.'

And then the fight started.....

 

[BirdLegsRed]

 

[Rosered]

Thanks for sharing. They are hysterical!

 

[abdmom]

I'm at ds's orchestra practice and it took all of my strength not to laugh VERY loudly.

 

[DisneyBamaFan]

Thanks for posting...

 

[Polyluvr]

hysterical

 

[illuminationsfanatic]

Those are too funny!!

 

[kathie859]

Good grief--I laughed out loud....MORE please!

 

[Nolcrest]

Laugh out loud funny!

 

[focusondisney]

These are great!!!! I can just hear a comedian like Jeff Foxworthy telling these. Thanks for sharing!!!!!

 

[lynxstch]

those are too cute!

 

[karen l]

Thanks for posting these. They're too funny!

 

[airhead]

thanks for that!!

 

[smschex]

Thanks, I needed a good laugh!

 

[tigger813]

MOre please!!!!


I needed that!

 

[mrsheppo]

Those are great!!

 

[meliss8599]

Glad you all liked them! The best part is the last line in all where it says, "And then the fight started..."

Rarely do email forwards get me like this one did - I keep reading them and each time they're just as funny.

 

[The Mystery Machine]

 

[Tinkerbell58]

Too cute! Thanks for the laughs.

 

[klacey1]

The fishing one was the best!!