Take a moment, if you will, and imagine spending a night on an idyllic tropical island. On this hypothetical tropical island—we’ll call it, “Kauai”—you’ve somehow managed to find a gorgeous condo not far from the ocean. You leave the windows open at night, because the climate is so perfect, the breeze from the ocean just strong enough, that it makes for the perfect sleeping environment.
Let’s say you’ve also been going hard as a family over the past couple of days. You’ve been hiking miles in the heat of the day, driving hundreds of miles, dealing with airline snafus, and getting to bed late at night. It’s beyond time to slow down and rest for a bit. Your plan is to sleep in and take it easy for a day.
Now imagine, if you will, that there is a balcony off your 2nd-floor bedroom. Again, you’ve left the glass door open and the screen in place so you can feel the tropical breezes and enjoy the mild temperatures at night. It’s a glorious night. Outside of your balcony is a tree. It’s a nice-looking tree, strong and lush and healthy, as befits the island climate. This also makes it a popular home for small island creatures.
And, apparently, a rooster. A big ugly rooster who believes it is his God-given duty to announce that the sun is coming up just past 5-FREAKIN’-O’CLOCK IN THE MORNING and do so at a decibel level equal to a dump truck rumbling through a nitroglycerin plant.
We shot out of bed and may or may not have shouted something along the lines of, “What the ____ is THAT?!” So much for sleeping in. Remember that scene in My Cousin Vinny where Joe Pesci is trying to sleep in the cabin and the screeching owl makes some hideous noise, and he comes charging out in his boxers randomly firing a gun into the woods? If I’d been armed that morning, I might have re-enacted the scene.
We got the little punk on camera a little later. I think I’ll name him Extra Crispy.
You might be wondering why we were dealing with a rooster at our condo. As it turns out, Kauai is overrun with wild chickens. This was apparently due to a hurricane that blew through the island several years ago, destroying fences and farms and scattering the animals to the wild. The chickens have proliferated and run wild all over the island since then. It was actually pretty amusing to see them running around just about everywhere we went.
The most-desired sights we wanted to see on Kauai were Waimea Canyon and the famed Na Pali Coast. But that involved driving all the way down to the southwest side of the island, and we were exhausted after all of the hard driving/late nights of the past couple of days. So we put off any more driving for a day and decided to goof off and putter around the north shore of the island. Here was the view from our bedroom balcony in the morning (minus the @#$% chicken):
On the other side, we finally got to see Hawaii’s state bird: The nene.
Scotty was overjoyed to see them “in the wild”. We enjoyed some coffee and breakfast and a bit of a lazy morning before piling into the car. We turned right out of Princeville onto the main road, heading toward the end of the road at Ke’e Beach on the northwest corner of the island. Not far down the road, there is an overlook that gives a great view of the mountains and the Hanalei valley below. The fields below are taro fields, which is the plant that produces that delicious Hawaiian staple, poi. You know, the purple crap I never want to taste again.
Here are the kids. Note the excellent composition of this photo.
Then we got someone else to take a family shot. Remember, kids, when taking a family photo, try and obscure the spectacular background scenery as much as possible—because really, who wants to see that?
Another turnoff just a few hundred feet down the road gave us this view of the north shore and Hanalei Bay. The peaks may look familiar to anyone who ever watched Fantasy Island way back when (and yes, I know I’m dating myself).
By the way, the mountain range here on Kauai is known as the wettest spot on earth—well over 400 inches of rain fall on the peaks annually. But on this day, it sure does look clear, doesn’t it? Looks like this would have been a great day to be up there.
Check this out. Even my kids take better pictures than the average stranger.
And yes, we busted out the Aulani shirts again. Because we had to justify the expense.
The drive to Ke’e Beach is another narrow, winding one reminiscent of the Hana Highway (only not nearly as long, thank goodness). Once again there are several one-lane bridges that must be navigated.
Local custom is to allow 5-6 cars one on side proceed across before taking your turn. One of the bridges was helpfully posted with a weight limit, as though you could instantly figure out the weight of the cars ahead of you before knowing when to proceed.
We reached the end of the road where there were several parking areas, both for the beach and the Kalalau Trail. I’m not sure how long this guy had been parked here, but it was evident that he chose…poorly.
The
Kalalau Trail is a hike that runs 11 miles along the Na Pali Coast wandering all over the sheer cliff edges. Any hiker who wants to go the full length has to get a permit and plan to spend the night at Kalalau Beach on the far end of the trail. It’s the only way to see the entire coastline without shelling out for a helicopter or boat tour, as there are no roads through that part of the island. The guidebook said an attempt was made and abandoned when construction equipment started sinking into the mud on the mountain.
When I had originally planned this trip, I had hoped to hike the first part of the trail—it’s 2 miles to the first beach, which is a little hidden alcove nestled amid the cliffs. I thought it would be really cool to see. But given our experience with the other steep hike we did on Maui, we realized it was going to be too much of a struggle for a pregnant woman. So we decided not to bother trying. I guess we’ll have to go back.
We’d hoped to explore the beach a bit, but there was no parking to be found anywhere (not even in the puddle), so we turned around and went back the other way. We drove east to the town of Kilauea and followed the signs (and our map) to an overlook of the
Kilauea Lighthouse. There’s a fee to enter the grounds, but cheapskates like us were able to park at the overlook and observe the gorgeous scenery from there.
We may have been doing absolutely nothing, but you couldn’t beat the views.
It was already lunchtime, and we hadn’t bought any PB&J. To tell the truth, we may have been sick of it at that point anyway. So we drove back to Hanalei, headed towards the pier on the northeast end of the beach, and sought out a gourmet delicacy that had been recommended by Ellen (podsnel) in her Hawaiian trip report: The taco truck.
Pat’s Taqueria truck is a Hanalei beach institution, serving meals daily next to the pier. There’s a big park/grassy parking lot nearby that makes it easy to access the beach and pier.
The menu:
We went for a mix of the carne asada and kalua pork tacos. I had the beef, and it was excellent. My only regret was ordering 1 instead of 2:
The only photo I have of the pork taco is this model-quality shot of Scotty eating his:
We took advantage of the outdoor seating area. Ignore my daughter being a goofball.
Here’s a better idea of our lunchtime surroundings. For doing nothing, this sure was something.
And last but not least, here’s the pitiful-looking dog who kept inching his way closer to our table hoping for taco scraps.
Ever feel like you’re being followed?
Coming Up Next: The second half of our do-nothing day. Boy, that sounds like compelling reading, doesn’t it? We might have to throw in some sunset pictures to keep you interested.