And in this ring, the Disney-obsessed planner vs the laid-back BIL

[anonymousegirl]

Hi all,

I am treating my sister and her family to WDW July 2010. BIL went once I believe (well over 20 years ago) DSis and their children(DNi 15, DNew 10, DNew 6) have never been.

I am a serious planner and love to organize everything. I do schedule free time, breaks, down time back at the hotel, but I also hit every RD and utilize FP and both UG and TGM advice. DBIL is a laid-back boy from New Orleans. He admires my planning skills but says he will never do them (Funny how he said that right after he said the last time he went to Disney he waited and waited for rides and didn't like it )

So my question is how to deal with our diversive personalities. I feel like it would be a real shame if his kids missed out on stuff because he doesn't want to follow any guidelines or schedule. I wouldn't mind taking the kids out early but then he misses out on all the magic of his kids at WDW for the first time.

Any advice to help out?

 

[Deb & Bill]

Give them advice, but let them plan their own day. Maybe by Day 2, they will want to try your way. When we took family, we didn't plan it down to details, but we did plan which park, which day. And that was good enough.

Back off on the detailed planning and give a little bit.

 

[Buckeye Fan]

LOL!!! I have this plight in my household. I am the planner. I can't say DH is a fly-by-the-seat-of-your-pants type of person, but he does like to "wing it" some when we're at WDW. He is the first to complian, though, if it's hard to eat somewhere due to crowds, or we can't get fast passes until 3:30, and it's 11:00 in the morning!

I would suggest you try and make it fun, and involve your BIL and his family in the planning. Just tell them you're trying to figure out the days' activities so you can make the appropriate dining reservations. No one wants to wait, and it is worse with larger groups. Suggest some of your favorites, and test the waters.

Find out what parks they want to visit, and then you can plan the park days. If they haven't been to WDW in the last 20 years, things have changed so much that he won't know what he wants to do! Throw in an evening at DTD and BW, and you're finished! Itinerary complete!!!

I guess the biggest question I have is...Does he want some alone time with his family? If so, then that's a whole different situation. If that's the case, I would try and plan a couple of days with them, and a couple of days on your own, and either way, you'll have a great time!

Best of luck! Fortunately, both my SIL and I are major planners, so when our families travel to WDW together, it works out like a dream!

 

[5forDiz]

Been there done that, have been on both sides of this equation & will do it again despite it some trips going great & others well....

Very difficult even among closest of family and friends to get everyone on same page for WDW trip . . . too many variables and after all it is everyone's vacation so you will have those who like to sleep late and those who do not want to stay at the parks later into the evening and those who like to soak up the sun & chill by the pool when the mood strikes them or even just head back to the villa and just get in some relaxation in front of dare I say it !!!!

Okay, I'll stop now, you get my point

I'd just try to plan for a few "must-do's" each day altogether as a group & get their input on what they'd like to experience with all of the group together, like if MK day all meet at 1 pm to ride Haunted Mansion, Riverboat, Carousel, Dumbo & then watch afternoon parade together. And pick ONE meal each day ( doesn't even necessarily have to be dinner, mix it up each day with a different group dining meal ) when entire group will dine together. Give them copies of the itinerary that you've got set up each day and if they want to follow along with you great or if they prefer they can just catch-up with you at some point or just at "altogether times".

Your sis, bro inlaw & kids may want to do somethings on their own and this isn't a bad thing - it's good for them and you too to have some space !!!

Best wishes & I'm sure it will all be magical

 

[Reginak]

Hi,
I have been down this road often with my extended familys and on every trip with my husband. HE likes to wing it each day, start late and expects to find short lines and be able to eat whenever and wherever he wants.

We have compromised; I pick a park each day and make ADRs for only a few nights of our trip. We wing it the rest of the time.

NOW, on family trips, I do the same - pick a park for each day and try to guess where we might be; I then make tentative ADRs and let the chips fall where they may.

Have fun,

Regina

 

[anonymousegirl]

We won't be making too many ADRs because to save money we'll be cooking/eating lunch and most dinners at the villa (supplemented with snacks and light counter-service meals later in the evenings)

My sister and BIL don't have a lot of money due to 3 special-needs kids and a boatload of medical bills, but she doesn't want to sponge off us either, so they are paying for airfare, out-of-villa meals, and their tickets while we're taking care of the villa and car rental. We're splitting the grocery bill and more importantly, the bar bill.

This xmas their big gift was our version of Disney dollars that can be used for airline tickets and the like. Next xmas it will be the villa points.

 

[Dean]

I'd suggest you make the ADR's you think might work out then you can utilize them without the other family if need be. Here's what I'd do. I'd sit down with just adults and talk about it. Lay it out that you have different travel styles. Suggest they follow you day one then if they don't want to cont with your approach, they can go off on their own later that day or any other days they want. Since you'll be doing some cooking, set meal assignments where only one family is truly responsible for THAT meal then set a meal time that's modestly flexible because you know you'll be in the line for soaring and the bus will take forever getting back. That avoids everyone having to get back 2 hours early every time. Only plan one meal a day in this way, make the rest in the room things you can do on the fly such as cereal, danish, sandwiches, etc. Consider meals that reheat well like lazagna. If you grill, do that a pool day and not a park day.

 

[JimMIA]

I like the idea of avoiding overplanning. Some things you can plan, and some you can't. I think the idea of figuring out which park you are going to hit on a particular day is fine, but I think I'd drop it there.

Also be aware of two other things. One is that Mr. Laid Back may turn into a commando monster once he gets there. That happened to us on a recent trip. We had friends at WDW on 3 days of our 5-day trip, but they said they were content to just tag along with us and whatever we wanted to do was fine with them. About 2 hours into the first day, a commando monster took over my buddy's body and he had us practically running from attraction to attraction. We took it as good fun, and had some amusing moments, but we were all exhausted by the end of each day. Fortunately, we had another day at Disney after they left to actually enjoy the place!

The other thing to be aware of with laid-back non-Disneyphiles is that they sometimes back out of the trip. "Shucks, I have to go fishing that week!" This phenomenon usually emerges when they get serious about going and start adding up all the airfare, park tickets, dining costs, etc, etc...and they start to realize that this is one heck of an expensive vacation, even with free lodging. Suddenly, there is something else they have to do. That's a bigger threat to your vacation than different park styles. Be sure they are firm about going.

 

[dcfromva]

So my question is how to deal with our diversive personalities. I feel like it would be a real shame if his kids missed out on stuff because he doesn't want to follow any guidelines or schedule. I wouldn't mind taking the kids out early but then he misses out on all the magic of his kids at WDW for the first time.

Any advice to help out?

anonymousegirl,
In a contest between the planner and the laid back guy, the laid back guy always wins and the planner has a nervous breakdown.
I am the planner in my group. I seek input to try to figure out everyone's requirements and then come up with a plan. There is often a breakdown in the process here because of failure to get timely feedback.
For example, I don't think a lot of people realize that it is necessary to get advanced reservations if you have your heart set on eating at a particular restaurant.
The more people in your group, the harder it is to nail it down--(especially when Disney was doing ressies 180 days in advance. )

If I were you, I would make dining ressies for sure. Then, make your own plan and invite them to join you (or not) and don't have too high of expectations. Remember, you are DVC owners and you're going to be going back for the next 50 years.

 

[mom of princessx2]

I totally feel your pain!! Our friends that we went with last year are not planners and I am crazy planner lady. We did DDP and they wouldnt even make decisions on resturants. Said they didn't know what they would be hungry for?? Anyhow, what saved our trip and friendship was breaking from each other for the evening. We would meet in the morning and go to the parks but in the evening do our own thing. I made ADRs just for my family and we had park hopper, which they didn't, so we generally went to a different park than them at night. I figured it was our vacation as well and I wasn't going to miss anything. Worked out perfectly and we are planning, or at least I am, our next trip.

 

[Lynne M]

You've gotten some great suggestions here, but I'll just add that trying to force a lot of planning on a laid-back person is never going to end well.

While the ultra-planned style of vacation may be the right thing for YOUR family, it's not the right thing for everyone. It's entirely possible to have a best-ever vacation at WDW without scheduling every minute of every day, and it sounds like your BIL's family will prefer a more relaxed style of vacationing. I do it all the time. I check into the resort, and then proceed to do whatever I'm in the mood to do for the rest of my trip. The only thing I plan is ADRs, if I'm doing TS. If I were going with someone who wanted to plan every minute and even schedule my breaks.....well, to be honest, I'd find an excuse to get out of the trip.

It's their vacation - if it makes them happier to sleep in and linger over breakfast at the resort, and maybe only get to ride 10 rides that day instead of 15, then so be it. If the kids would rather enjoy the pool than see the parade....again, it's their preference.

All you can do is show them the possibilities, and then let them decide. They have the choice to tour with you, or not.

 

[jbrowna]

My sister and BIL don't have a lot of money due to 3 special-needs kids and a boatload of medical bills...

This kind of suprises me, that with 3 special-needs kids your BIL can be so laid back. My experience with special-needs is that this usually takes lots of planning, even for everyday tasks, let alone a vacation. My SIL with ALS, for example, needed lots of time and prep just to go out for a show in the evening.

Of course, "special-needs" can mean lots of things, but I think you get my meaning. You're not just planning around the laid-back BIL, but you also have to take into account the special-needs -- and anything unexpected that happens (a medical emergency, for example) can upset even the best advance planning.

I don't envy the challenge you face, and wish you all the pixie dust out there!

 

[anonymousegirl]

This kind of suprises me, that with 3 special-needs kids your BIL can be so laid back. My experience with special-needs is that this usually takes lots of planning, even for everyday tasks, let alone a vacation. My SIL with ALS, for example, needed lots of time and prep just to go out for a show in the evening.

Of course, "special-needs" can mean lots of things, but I think you get my meaning. You're not just planning around the laid-back BIL, but you also have to take into account the special-needs -- and anything unexpected that happens (a medical emergency, for example) can upset even the best advance planning.

I don't envy the challenge you face, and wish you all the pixie dust out there!

Luckily, the kids are all mobile and not prone to emergencies. None of them are severely disabled.

I am worried about severe melt-downs that can be triggered by long lines and heat, which is another reason I am keen to plan carefully what rides when, etc.

I had thought about planning one park day with breaks back at the hotel during the hottest part of the day, and then one day "off" for sleeping in, lazing about the pool, just winging it. I thought I might be able to persuade BIL to try my way once and then have a day for his way.

 

[Dean]

I am worried about severe melt-downs that can be triggered by long lines and heat, which is another reason I am keen to plan carefully what rides when, etc.

Yourself, the kids or the BIL? LOL

 

[SuzanneSLO]

The planner taking the non-planner is another reason DVC is great. You know your family will be back to WDW, so you can concentrate this trip on having a great time sharing with your sister and her family. Yes, you may ride fewer rides and be much less efficient, but the goal should be for everyone to have a great trip.

I face this to some extent even when only travelling with my DH. He would prefer no rope drops and he would prefer no table service meals. So we do rope drop only at DHS (darn you, TSM). We do TS only for the Fantasmic dinner and other special events like CP. We still have a great trip every time.

Best of luck to you -- Suzanne

 

[anonymousegirl]

Yourself, the kids or the BIL? LOL

mostly the kids, but the martinis in the evening will take care of the adults.

 

[eliza61]

In a contest between the planner and the laid back guy, the laid back guy always wins and the planner has a nervous breakdown.

I'm a winger. My RL is schedule to the hilt, the thought of doing it on vacation breaks me out in hives. I've never done rope drop, EMH and I think TGM is just plain evil.
Op, don't concentrate on "doing it all" , how fun is that if every one is exhausted from some schedule that would rival the invasion of Normandy on D-Day. I've seen marriages go under because God forbid you didn't do the Haunted mansion at the schedule time. How is this a vacation?

Last year we did whatever park that the 1st bus came to the resort, our only rule was no same park 2 days in a row. We some how managed to "do it all". We didn't wait in line forever and every one was relaxed and stress free.

Plan some adr's and let it go.