An open letter to teenagers who rolled their eyes at me in the line at the Subway

[Jennasis]

Woah.. Sounds like your really stressed MID. If the teens "eye-rolling" really got to you this badly, I'd say the problem is you, not them. You are way over-stretched with your time, energy and resources. Teens will always be teens, but if little silly things like this are causing you to have a mini-meltdown emotionally (which is what it sounded like especially after the outpouring of your soul in the OP) then you totally need a break/rest somehow before your totally burn yourself out.

FWIW, I can relate. The other day I couldn't find the lynch pin that attaches a piece of our farm equipment to the 4-wheeler that tows it. It is a tiny $2 pin, but it makes the piece of epuipment unusable without it. When I realized it was lost...I cried . I was just so over-worked abd stressed out.

You need a break, if even a teen-tiny one.

 

[tar heel]

I understand your post totally, but I might not have three months ago. I suspect some of the less than charitable comments are from people who haven't been there YET.

My dad has been in the hospital for three months today. I'm an only child, and he's at a hospital in a city near my house. My mom won't drive in the city. My dad is so homesick that he's a mess if my mom isn't there all day. Did I mention that my mother won't eat pizza or Mexican or spaghetti or casseroles that have mushrooms in them? I work full time at a place where family comes first, so I can take time off as needed, but the organization is small and ALL my work is waiting for me when I get back. During these three months, I've also got my middle son graduated from high school, two kids off to college and one off to middle school. There are parts of my house that have not been cleaned since May, though.

Sometimes venting about little things can make you feel better. What looks like a mini crisis to you may be the straw that broke the camel's back for someone else. Yeah, I need a break, too, but I don't know how in the heck I'm going to get it.

 

[kelleigh1]

I've only read the original post and those posts that followed on the first page, but I wanted to post now instead of reading all the way through.

First, I didn't get the impression of "drama queen". I just thought it sounded like something that most kids need to hear from their parents and all of it is true. And it's not just kids, but people in general. We are so quick to jump when someone doesn't act exactly the way we expect them to but we never really know what is going on in someone else's life - no matter how close we may be to them.

As for the person who felt the need to roll there eyes after reading it...your perogative I guess, although I'm not sure why you felt the need to even respond. You could have simply ignored the post but instead you felt the need to be insulting. Congratulations. Hope you feel better.

 

[Miss Inga Depointe]

Woah.. Sounds like your really stressed MID. If the teens "eye-rolling" really got to you this badly, I'd say the problem is you, not them. .

Seriously. I know. That's not my point.

In a nutshell, I'm urging everyone not to judge people too quickly, and I'm just picking on teens because they are they ones who've been finding me to be so irritating lately.

 

[cardaway]

Congrats to the teens for keeping it together and not saying anything.

 

[Miss Inga Depointe]

Congrats to the teens for keeping it together and not saying anything.

Yes you are right it could have been worse. Another Captain Obvious, I see.

Yes, I know I was wrong, yes I know I was looney looking, yes, I know it was an eye rolling worthy occasion.

I'm glad some of you got it anyway.

Off to work! And I think after writing all this, I'm starting to find the humor in it and thanks to even those of you who chose to underscore what a dolt I already know I can be because it really is seeming funny now.

 

[minkydog]

Speaking as a Reformed Eye-Roller, I sooo get your point. When you're a teen and everything in your life is being taken care of,it's so easy to be judgemental of others. Everything looks black & white; make a decision, carry it out, make no mistakes. Ever. There is nothing so smug as a 17yo living at home,playing video games Grandma bought, driving Daddy's car, with Mommy's money in their pockets. All I can say is, just wait What goes around comes around.

Try not to take it personally, Miss Inga. They just havent' had their come-uppance yet.

 

[NeverlandClub23]

Congrats to the teens for keeping it together and not saying anything.

I agree. EVERYONE has issues and problems that seem big to them. Whether you are 13 or 83. I wouldn't go back to being a teenager for anything. Hardly anyone respects you and you still have a ton of responsibilities and pressures and hardly any freedom. Compassion goes both ways.

 

[pearlieq]

Eh. I don't really buy it. We've all got problems. How would you even know what's going on in those teenagers' lives well enough to judge them or think that your problems are worse?

What I find a little funny about this thread is that if someone has posted the other side (i.e. "There was this crazy lady in front of me at Subway...") people here would mostly have just laughed, contributed their own , and ranted about how people are rude with their cell phones!

 

[cardaway]

I agree. EVERYONE has issues and problems that seem big to them. Whether you are 13 or 83. I wouldn't go back to being a teenager for anything. Hardly anyone respects you and you still have a ton of responsibilities and hardly any freedom. Compassion goes both ways.

Agreed. By her own admission the reaction was minimal. I suspect they had to deal with the effect of their reaction as well despite the fact they did nothing wrong.

 

[Race the Reaper]

Everything looks black & white; make a decision, carry it out, make no mistakes. Ever. There is nothing so smug as a 17yo living at home,playing video games Grandma bought, driving Daddy's car, with Mommy's money in their pockets.

Hey! I once resembled that remark!

 

[mickeyfan2]

When you're a teen and everything in your life is being taken care of,it's so easy to be judgemental of others. Everything looks black & white; make a decision, carry it out, make no mistakes. Ever. There is nothing so smug as a 17yo living at home,playing video games Grandma bought, driving Daddy's car, with Mommy's money in their pockets. All I can say is, just wait What goes around comes around.

Sorry not all of us had this life and maybe those teens did not either.

Eh. I don't really buy it. We've all got problems. How would you even know what's going on in those teenagers' lives well enough to judge them or think that your problems are worse?!

But don't you know that MID never passes any judgements on anybody but every teen seems to pass judgement on her. The fact that they were teens had no bearing on the story. Could have just as well been me and I am far from a teen.

What I find a little funny about this thread is that if someone has posted the other side (i.e. "There was this crazy lady in front of me at Subway...") people here would mostly have just laughed, contributed their own , and ranted about how people are rude with their cell phones!

Ah but when I said that I got a new title thanks to MIP.


BTW cardaway, welcome to the Captain Obvious club.

 

[cardaway]

BTW cardaway, welcome to the Captain Obvious club.

Thanks. Now if only I would have thought of that name in time to try out for Who Wants To Be A Superhero.

 

[Wish I lived in Fl]

(Pop daddy - Long post, cliff notes later )

I know your lives aren't easy. I know you have pressures that we didn't have, and the world is more complicated. I know you think we don't get it and we probably don't like we should, but there's something you should know. We're just people too and we have problems of our own.

I know you think we are grumpy and unreasonable and mean sometimes, but I think many of us parents try to raise you so that you don't have to worry about the stuff we worry about and sometimes you really have no idea about the things that can we have that stress us out.

We have to worry about money. We've been having to come up with a mortgage payment every month and that includes December and your birthday months when we somehow came up with the money to buy you that thing you wanted. We've had to find money for braces and school and church and the cars and vacations and your clothes etc etc etc etc. Did it look like we could easily afford it? We couldn't. It was really stressful but we just wanted a nice home for you.

We have aging parents that need our help in a way that makes us sad and a little afraid. They were supposed to be the parent and take care of us, but now we have to be the ones to guide and worry about them.

We worry about everything about you, from your grades to your social life to your safety. You think we shouldn't? Well, you just wait til you have a little person you created in your care and try, just try not to obsess over them. If you don't call when you are late, are you dead on the highway somewhere? If you get some bad grades, will you end up in a loser job with no money? Are you making friends that will lead you bad places?

We have our own relationships with your dads, and those are every bit as complicated and difficult as the ones with your girlfriends and boy friends. More. What? Did you think just because we've been together so long we have no problems? No, sweetie, we have lots of disagreements and arguments about aging parents and money and about how to raise you sometimes.

We have jobs that we don't like sometimes but we do them for you. We have to go to work and sometimes smile and say, "yes sir" even when the boss is a bit of a jerk and we feel humiliated. We need these jobs because we want to take care of you.

We aren't martyrs and there are many happy things in our lives along with these stressful things, but the next time we are grumpy, please remember it's not always about you. It's hard to keep it together 24/7, and we are just humans like you with a whole lot more baggage and maybe you could cut us a little slack.

I absolutely,totally agree and have been saying this explicitly to my children this week. Adults have a lot more responsiblities on their plate than children do. Children are clueless about the wide world.

 

[noodleknitter]

Being clueless is a privilege of childhood. Learning compassion, however, is also a good thing.

 

[VSL]

Eh. I don't really buy it. We've all got problems. How would you even know what's going on in those teenagers' lives well enough to judge them or think that your problems are worse?

What I find a little funny about this thread is that if someone has posted the other side (i.e. "There was this crazy lady in front of me at Subway...") people here would mostly have just laughed, contributed their own , and ranted about how people are rude with their cell phones!

I'm agreeing with pearlieq. We've all had our difficult moments (in public), but we've also all been impatient with other people who we think are being clueless but who could just be having a tough time at that moment. It's not just teens.

 

[mickeyfan2]

Don't be so hard on teens. Studies have shown that teens are not good at reading body language and facial language, so many times they actually read them wrong. The ability to read body/facial language actually develops in the early 20s.

Just a public service announcement from Captain Obvious.

 

[cardaway]

A public service anouncement by Captain Obvious:

People have very limited time for lunch. No matter how tough things may get, respect the other people in line. If you're going to have a breakdown, get out of line.

Now remember to eat your veggies and look both ways before crossing the street.

 

[NeverlandClub23]

Just a public service announcement from Captain Obvious.

Thanks for the P.S.A CO!

 

[nuke]

A public service anouncement by Captain Obvious:

People have very limited time for lunch. No matter how tough things may get, respect the other people in line. If you're going to have a breakdown, get out of line.

Now remember to eat your veggies and look both ways before crossing the street.

Thank you Captain Obvious #2. I was going to say the same thing.