The five happyhaunts head happily towards Toontown.
And Goofy's Barnstormer.
Where we are faced with a large line. A large line.
Tommy wants to go. Tho. Badly.
And... at the end of the day... Tommy matters.
To all of us. Muchly.
We park the stroller. And quickly walk away from it.
Because... now... it is starting to smell. Not exactly as badly as our van. But close.
We have never, actually, taken it apart and washed the seat cover. But we've hosed it down. And left it to dry in the driveway. It's been rained on plenty of times and once... it fell in a pool.
Without water wings on.
I figured it was good to go. This trip.
But... NO... now it smells.
But in a good way.
If old diapers appeal to you.
That is.
Which brings to mind a funny happyhaunt tale: When Beth was small she had some plumbing problems. And we spent many an hour at an excellent children's hospital. Called McMaster Children's Hospital. She was on medication for a couple of years.
But... that's NOT the funny part. That part wasn't funny at all. TFI.
Nor was the "product" which was deposited in her Diaper Genie.
Anywho... the Diaper Genies never lasted more than 6 months. In our house.
And one day I put a VERY FULL Diaper Genie out on the street. To be picked up the next day. On the annual "Big Garbage Day" in our town.
The night before "Big Garbage Day" is a festivus. Of sorts. A sort of shopping extravaganza. For folks with pickups, trailers and large trunks. Who slowly drive the streets of our neighbourhood and select choice items. To find new homes for.
You know where I'm going. Don't you?
Our bedroom window was open. Around 11pm and I was still awake. I heard a car drive up and stop.
I got up and went to the window. To see what would be "adopted". From our crap. At the end of the driveway.
This guy gets out and looks over our stuff.
And... grabs the Diaper Genie. Opens his hatch-back. And puts it in.
Drives away.
Heh heh.
I figure he only got about as far as the end of the street. Before the seizures and the loss of consciousness. Began.
Heh heh heh heh.
I had to wake up Mellyman and tell him. Mellyman does not appreciate being woken up. Much.
Except for this time.
He laughed so hard I thought he might end up with an irregular heartbeat.
Ahhhhh... good times!!!!!
Anywho... back to Toontown.
The rest of the happyhaunts went to join the Barnstormer line.
Leaving me all alone. For a bit.
I did this: I decided to take a moment for myself. And get a Frozen Lemonaide. Which I LOVE.
So I did. And I immediately dived in and gave myself a major "Ice-Scream Headache". Not Cream. SCREAM.
I sat down on the edge of a display shelf in the Toontown Farmer's Market and grabbed my head. In a death-grip. To ease the pain.
After a moment... I looked up, while rubbing the bridge of my nose briskly, and noticed a man about four feet away from me laughing his butt off.
Ha ha.
Yes. It hurt.
I almost wet myself.
Very funny. Yes. Very.
Sheesh.
I got up and staggered away. To find a nice quiet place. To recover.
And make a little phone call.
To THE GENERAL.
Dialed... and waited.
The G: Hello.
Me: Hi there!
The G: What's wrong?! Is everyone alright? Are the kids okay?
Me: We're fine. We're all fine. I just need some bail money.
The G: Very funny. Are the kids okay? Does anyone have a sunburn? Where are you?
Me: No sunburns. They're fine. They just had some soft-serve. And I thought of you and decided to check in. (The General likes when we report to her on vacation. It eases her worry. Somewhat.)
The G: Why would that make you think of me? Hee hee. (She didn't actually laugh. But there was 1/4 smile in the tone of her voice. She knew what I meant.) Everyone is fine, though?
Me: Well... except for me. My stomach has been off.
The G: It's because of all the garbage you've been eating I bet.
Me: You're right. It started right after we left your house. And your...errr... lunch. Thingie. But... YOU WARNED ME. YOU WIN!
The G: You have to be careful eating there. Make sure the kids don't eat hamburgers. They could get E-coli. You are in a foreign country, after all.
Me: We're in THE STATES! I think we'll risk drinking the water.
The G: Why do you always have to have a come-back?
Me: It's because I love you.
The G: That's what I mean. Just be careful. Don't eat any shrimp.
Me: Don't worry. We're sticking to takeout sushi. And raw chicken.
The G: Where are you?
Me: Mickey's Toontown Fair.
The G: Where is that? That is not at Disney.
Me: Yes it is. It's in the Magic Kingdom. Beside Fantasyland. It just wasn't built the last time you were here.
The G: Oh. They are always fixing what isn't broken. Aren't they?
Me: I suppose.
The G: Make sure you take the kids on It's a Small World. That is my very favourite ride.
Me: I'm working on it. It's gonna take some bribery, though.
The G: And do the submarine one. Your father really liked that one. Bill always said...
Me: It's gone. It hasn't been...
The G: He loved that ride, being an engineer. You should tell the children how much their grandfather loved that ride.
Me: Yes, but...
The G: OH! And make sure you put sunscreen on them. You don't want them to end up like you. With all the freckles.
Me: Gotcha.
The G: You know it's Mother's Day next weekend.
Me: Oh. Is it?
The G: You won't be home. For Mother's Day. I'm sure you forgot when you planned the trip but I just thought I'd remind you.
Me: CRAP! I forgot.
The G: Well it's nothing to curse about, Mel. Watch your mouth. You really have a filthy mouth. I have no idea WHERE you got that from.
Me: Dad could swear. Really well.
The G: That reminds me... do the submarine ride for your father. Bless him.
Me: But... it hasn't...
The G: DO YOU HEAR ME, MEL?
Me: Yes SIR!
The G: Now... are the children there? I'd like to say "hello".
Me: No... they're in line for Goofy's Barnstormer.
The G: What is a Barnstormer?
Me: A little lame(ish) rollercoaster. Tommy loves it.
The G: Make sure you don't let them ride that Rocket Mountain ride.
Me: IT'S CALLED SPACE MOUNTAIN. AND YOU DON'T PRONOUNCE "PHANTOM OF THE OPERA" WITH A "TH"!
The G: I don't know what you are talking about. I'm going to hang up now... this call is costing money.
Me: But... I called YOU. I'll bet you miss me right now?!
CLICK.
Me: Heh heh.
And so ends a normal conversation between me and my gentle, tough-as-nails Mother.
Absolutely run of the mill.
Convo.
I snapped my phone shut and pulled out my Trip Reporter Walt Disney World pen. And my Trip Reporter notebook.
And wrote the whole thing down. Word for word. As best I could recall. Immediately after.
Just to share. With all of you.
Heh heh.
Then I strolled back to the Barnstormer and saw that the happyhaunts were STILL IN LINE. But... they were close... at least... to riding.
I watched some cute kids playing in Donald's Boat for a little bit until they headed down the path. After the ride.
They were bummed. Except for Tommy. Long wait. LONG WAIT.
For a ride the length of one good rootbeer burp.
And now... I must go and burn my Sunday dinner.
Cheers, Mel.
To be continued. Up next: More Toontown. And... the BIG DECISION!
... DH and I share ice cream (and soda's) all the time. We rarely ever get our own soda unless it is a sit down resturant, but fast food, we share all the time. The only thing I don't like about sharing my ice cream is that it's less for me! 
But that could be a good thing, less calories. 
Bless them. 
Seriously, I could so hear my son saying something like that, he has knack for it.
