An essay titled "Busy"

[descovy]

Hi all,

I am a girl scout leader for 2 troops. I also am "cookie manager" for 3 troops. Beyond that, I am a mom of 3 girls in extracurriculars, work, volunteer at my church, and bake cakes as a "cottage business."

This essay (below) was prompted by a stressed out night... when it finally ocoured to me... people can't fix what they don't know is wrong. If I need help, or need things to change, I need to SAY so!

So, here's to you, all you teachers, coaches, voluneers, cookie moms, youth pastors, etc., etc., etc., Thank you for all you do... and for all you put up with!

And for all us busy moms... let's do our part to help out all the faboulous people that work with our children. Don't be so busy that you ignore deadlines, phone calls, emails from those who do their part in your child's lives...

****
Hello all,

It has been a wild and busy week for me, and I know it has been for all of you too.

I have to say, I've been struggling with something on my mind. I am not "burning out" but I want to try to ease this stress so that I do not come close to burning out in the future. Kellie has expressed an interest in staying in Girl Scouts through earning her Gold Award, and I want to ride this ride as long as it takes... even down to Sarah or Jessie (who at age 5 has no idea what a Gold Award is). I look forward to taking this journey with as many of you and your girls who will like to come along.

I greatly enjoy being your daughter's leader, and/or cookie mom. Believe me when I tell you, I ABSOLUTELY, POSITIVELY do not want to step down. You'd have to pry those cookie materials out of my cold dead hands! lol! I have watched through the years all that Girls Scouts has done for all our girls, and the benefits that our daughters get from cookie sales. it isn't just another fundraiser... it is so much more! And I have had the privilege to see first hand how that money goes to good use, benefiting all our girls.

That being said, my greatest stressor in all this, is when deadlines don't get met. This truely isn't directed at any one person, we've all been there, and sometimes things really do come up, outside our control. But in the three years of doing this, for every deadline (order taking, pickup, money) I have to chase people down. Unfortunatly, in my own busy life, I just don't have the time to do that...

Maybe it doesn't seem like a big deal, it's just Girl Scouts. I don't expect Girl Scouts to be the most pressing thing on your plate. But guess what? Girl Scouts isn't even the most pressing thing on my plate, either. I do my best to shuffle life around and be as accomodating as possible.

Unfortunately, for every deadline I give out, there is a deadline waiting for me. If I need money turned in by March 29, it is because someone else is asking me to turn in money by March 30. Also, I am crazy busy too. Even if cookies or girl scouts were not part of our life, I would be another busy mom, just like the rest of you.

As busy as I can be, I try to be as accomodating as possible. Often all I need is 10 minutes of your day to drop something off, pick something up... No more. Often you can send a spouse, a friend, in your place.

As a busy mom, I often need reminders, so I do my best to pay it forward and remind you and keep you updated. And when special circumstances come up, I do my best to help when I can. As my schedule permits, I try to make deadlines open to people working early, working late. And yet, I have other responsibilities to keep.

I look at the 30 lovely families I know here. We have a lot in common. We all have a girl who we are trying to raise with good character and values in this crazy world. We are ALL also very, very busy.

We have moms here with babies through teenagers to chase after, special needs and sick children, kids in a myrad of extracurricular activies, working moms, dual income families, single parents, moms whose husband have to travel for work, college classes, second jobs, small business owners, homeroom parents, coaches, leaders... whew, it's a wonder any of us moms keep it together!

When one or two say they were "too busy" to stop by, it bothers me a bit. I think of all the other crazy busy folks who DID take 10 min out of their day to drop off forms, pick up cookies, or turn in money on time. (or send someone on their behalf) Aren't they just as busy too? Aren't I busy? Because it takes me longer than 10 min to worry, hunt down, wait, fret when someone doen't come through. Often it is at a time when I'm busy with work, home, family responsibilities (that get pushed aside when I work on Girl Scouts)

Gosh, Y'all, We. Need. To. Work. Together. We are all on this crazy ride. Ask for help (that's what I'm trying to do here) Tell each other what you need. Communicate! If you have a problem, come to me, maybe I can help... but don't stay silent and absent...

We're all sisters here... it's the last verse of our Girl Scout Law... Be a Sister to Every Girl Scout. Sisters help each other out. Sisters understand when one has needs. Sisters are dependable and thoughtful. In my house, sisters also do their chores

To all of you.... Thank you for your support, understanding, willingness to help when help is needed. Every single one of us is just trying to do the best we can. All 32 girls I know in our troops are just the neatest, greatest, girls I know, and everyone is doing such a fabulous job raising them.

Peace and love,
Debbie

 

[The Mystery Machine]

Very nice letter, not sure it will help but I understand the sentiment & frustration.

I find it more helpful to address the "late people" directly instead of blanket statements to the parents. The parents that are on time and helpful tend to get irritated and then question you about the "bad parents" in the troop.

JM2Cents as a former leader of 12yrs

 

[DisneyBamaFan]

My wife is a "giver", and she is taken advantage of by almost everyone. I had to convince her to stop signing up for things like Classroom Mom. In the end, if you commit to too much, you feel disappointment in (and resentment of) all of those who lean on you but offer nothing in return. If you only take on what you can handle, that stuff doesn't seem to bother you.

For the sake of friendships, my wife has learned to scale back...

 

[descovy]

Actually, I have also done the direct approach.

Cookies were delivered to our area Feb 16. It was also the same day as my dd's 10th birthday and party. 4000 cookies came to my house.

Well in advance (and reminder the night before) I stated all cookies MUST be picked up Feb 17. I would be home and ready 7am-9pm. They could come anytime, no need to call. They could send a friend or a spouse.

Many folks came before work, after work, lunch break, before or after Ash Wednesday service (I didn't even go to Ash Wed service this year) And yet from a couple... nothing.

So Thurs I email them (missed you! when can you come?) Nothing...

Saturday I call. I keep calling until they answer. One says she wanted to come Thurs but was busy. She thought about coming Friday but was tired. I'm thinking, what the heck happened on WEDNESDAY!

The other says, Sorry, it's been a busy week. I'll be there in an hour. No show. Today I work and then off to a different troop meeting. Don't have time to hunt her down.

And yet, these ladies aren't lazy uncaring folks... they're good people! maybe just not aware of the issue??

I about burst a blood vessel when I heard "busy" week. I finished sorting 4000 cookies Tuesday, within minutes of having to leave to pick up my daughter and friends from school for her birthday party. Wednesday, I rarely sat down between orders. I worked all day Thurs, Fri, half of Saturday... in between taking kids to gym, trying to deliver their own cookies, etc... Dang! I had a busy week!

So today at work, I'm thinking about all the folks I know who manage to come despite their busy lives. Like one with a chronically sick toddler. Or one 37 weeks pregnant on #5, or another with a child with special needs and commutes 30 min each way for special school and therapies. And I think... you were busier than them??

 

[meliss8599]

Very nicely written letter. You got your point across w/o offending anyone; however, I think it will really drives your point home to where those latecomers will think twice before blowing off deadlines.

Thanks for all you do. Individuals like yourself ensure that wonderful programs like the Girl Scouts continue to be successful. Kudos to you.

 

[Cindy B]

I personally didn't feel that the letter was direct-- in fact it was rambly and didn't really bring the point home. I had no idea if you wanted to thank people or chastise them for being late.


Do you want to address the latecomers? If so you need to say something like "to all parents that committed, please pay/turn in (whatever you need) by a certain date. " -- and make that date a full week before you actually need something so you can have "buffer time". Never ever set up a due date only one day before your own deadline. Always give yourself a week prior so you do have time to chase people down. Give reminders constantly-- daily if you have to until it is all paid.

You honestly come off too nice and you sort of beat around the bush. The first paragraph isn't necessary. The overuse of commas is also glaring!

I personally would do two letters- one a thank you letter and another the "where's my money? (or whatever you need) to the others.

I would also get rid of the "Whatever--its just Girl Scouts " paragraph altogether because it belittles what you actually do.

 

[paintnolish]

I am not going to address any grammar/spelling errors. I do think, though, that it is just too long. Like Cindy B said, you seem to "beat around the bush," losing much of the original intent. You seem, too, to be making yourself to be out to be a martyr. Please don't take this the wrong way. I understand your position entirely too well, but I am giving you the impression I might get if I received a letter like this. I think a short and sweet (but not TOO sweet) letter would be better. GL!
Kudos to you for taking on a difficult job. I always volunteer to be room mom, and I always curse myself for doing so! Last Vday party, I had one mom fail to turn up- no email, no call, NOTHING! She was bringing the Valentine making supplies!