Amy's New Start : Comments Welcome!

[Amy&Dan]

Thanks Julie, sorry about the rain!

Okay some rants here. First of all, I got on the scale today and was up five pounds. I mean five pounds in one day. Of course its some sort of water gain, I did very well with food yesterday and I worked out. I should just throw my scale out, all this weighing in is so counterproductive. And yet, somehow I still feel proud that I have taken off what I have and just kept on with it. Time was when I would have bagged this months ago. It doesn't even really occur to me to quit. But it irritates the bejeebies out of me!

Rant #2: Talked with my sister yesterday. She is two months behind on her mortgage, yet again. Now I have not given her one cent since December and I made it clear I couldn't help. I told her to call her mortgage company and communicate with them. So she finally did. She gets some help under the stimulus package and I have to say it is one part a relief and one part very annoying. I talked to her for a total of 4 hours yesterday, listening, offering some advice and hearing her rant about the same crap she's been ranting about for 20 years. I feel sorry for her but at the same time, my ear still hurts!

I plan to walk for an hour outside today. Its so pretty right now and my allergies are finally better so that will be a nice change from the rec center. I am bummed about the five pounds but then wonder if all my sister's baggage just found its way onto my scale!

 

[lovinaz]

I say ditch the scale! It must be related to mine... I think this would accomplish 2 things - #1, you will be more focused on staying OP because you will have nothing to gauge yourself by and #2, you will be more inclined to make WW every week because that will be the only chance for weighing yourself...

As for your sister, hang in there! I know it's tough, but she is family, as frustrating and dysfunctional as she is!

Hopefully your long walk will relieve some of your stress.

 

[Amy&Dan]

Thanks Amy, the scale and I have a long standing dysfunctional relationship. I think you are right about the scale but you know how it goes. I just can't stay away!

I was so depressed today, feeling weepy, missing my mom. When she was alive she and I could talk about this stuff with my sister. Like me, she loved my sister and could never turn her back on her. Both my stepdad and my brother have. Stepdad has spoken to her once since Christmas and not seen her at all and says he hopes never to again. My brother has talked to her once since my mom died 16 months ago. I see where they are coming from (still praying she and my brother will at least resume sort of relationship) and yet I think in the end, in most ways she is sick. Physically with her MS and mentally with her depression and what I think is most likely bi polar disorder. In any case, its sort of me and only me to support her and help her through this. I miss the fact my mom and I could at least work as a team. Just another hole in my life since she died. I know a lot of this is her doing, like the money stuff but in the end, I can't judge anymore than I can solve the problem. I just hope the mortgage woman was right and that she can get some assistance and keep her house. As for the lies I continually catch her in, I just need to stay grounded with what I know is true and not worry about the stuff I know isn't.

So I had that sort of day, ate Taco Bell for dinner, felt blah and bloated and then came home and deep cleaned my master bath. It looks brand new and kept my mind busy! I never did walk outside, I felt awful, headache, backache and just off kilter. Then TOM showed up tonight and it all made sense. In my current age/hormonal state, I never know if or when it might show up so when it does its always a surprise. At least now I know where the five pounds came from!

Dh just walked in the door at 10:45, the kids didn't even see him today. I am so ready for a vacation, I know he'll work some in WDW, but at least he can see the kids and get some rest and relax. He deserves it!

I feel much better about things. I think the thing with my sister and the TOM stuff just got the better of me today. Tomorrow will be better.

 

[lovinaz]

Hang in there! You are bound to have these sad days, I think that is expected. I hope you are able to come to peace soon about the situation with your sister!

Geez, I thought my job was bad, at least I don't have to work until 10pm!

I am still (not so) patiently waiting for my e-vite to your female reproductive organ destruction party!

 

[Amy&Dan]

Amy, I am thinking my uterous bonfire party should be very soon! Can you imagine if I could post this on the classifieds how many women would show up??? I did have one of those days yesterday, it was easier when I could share the wealth of my sister's woes with my mom!

Today was much better. I think i got a double whammy of sister and TOM woes in the same day. We are taking her out to dinner tomorrow night and hopefully that will help cheer her up and we can spend some time with her.

TOM is here full force but frankly I am glad. I can get some relief now! Food was great up until my Nuggets party when I proceeded to eat pizza, two beers and a brownie. Oh well, at least the Nuggets won! It was a nailbiter I must say.

Tomorrow I intend to work out (did work out today too and that was good) and then we have Mexican food for dinner. Uh oh, maybe I won't do too bad. Dh and I usually share at this place so that helps.

 

[Amy&Dan]

Ohh, I forgot to add, I got all my WDW documents today, its almost here! I have so much to do and I have to get a lot done this weekend. Next weekend we have a lot going on and the weekend after that (last weekend before we leave) we are camping. So this is the weekend to get my WDW act together!

 

[lovinaz]

Cool news about the WDW docs!!!

I am so ready to yank my ovaries out of my navel and leave them in the parking lot at work! No TOM for almost 8 weeks, but plenty of PMS to go around. WTH are you doing to me, hormones? You should put an ad on Craigslist, I bet you'd get a huge response!

I hope you are able to behave at the Mexican place tonight. Did you get to WI this morning?

 

[toystoryduo]

Woohoo!!!! Let's hear it for your WDW documents arriving!!!! Just a few more weeks now......

How are the Nuggets doing? I can not believe the Cavs lost 106-107 this week!

I hope you have a wonderful weekend ahead!

 

[eyor44]

Hi Amy
Wow! You have certainly been busy. Was camping fun? The bits you got to be there?

I hear you are on trying to buy clothes for DS. My DS is just like yours. 16 is too short, yet 18 is too big around. We tried to buy a suit for Disney and didn't want to buy something he would just wear one time. We finally decided what size would work and don't you know they don't sell the size and lenght we wanted. He and his friend will just be wearing dark pants and white shirts with ties.
You are doing great on all the work outs.

Okay have I said this before? 16 days at Disney!?! Ohhhhh! envious here! Have a totally awesome time. Yes, you can get water at the CS instead of dessert. I did it quite a bit in November. If a CM isn't sure, just ask them to ask a manager. Remember Disney is getting on the health food train and are willing to help those who want to eat healthy.

 

[Amy&Dan]

Thanks Ladies.

What a weekend. I am sad to say I haven't exercised since last Thursday. Four days off in a row. The biggest problem was TOM. I haven't been this miserable with this since I was a teen. Its like when I do have them, they make up for lost time. I hope I am not getting like my sister did and going to end up having a hysterectomy. Thank God we weren't camping this weekend is all I can say. Food was not good either. When I got on the scale Friday morning (after behaving on Thursday and really all of last week) it had me up 8 pounds. Sheer water, so no way was I weighing in.

I have been feeling very discouraged about my weight all weekend. I went shopping, due to the bloat a lot of what I tried on was tight, I am out of time to lose more weight for WDW and I feel like I have just hit a wall. I think my hormones just made me feel a lot worse than I should have been.

We ate out way too much this weekend. It was raining off and on all weekend, and we had so many errands to run. And I drank four rum and diets and two beers yesterday. Just too much out of the ordinary stuff the past three days. I also had popcorn today, when dd and I saw Earth. Beautifully done movie but omg, dd and I both agreed we were depressed watching all the cute animals being eaten up! It was intense in several parts. Lots of little kids asking their parents what happened to this animal and that animal!

Oh yeah, having dinner with my sister and nephew depressed the heck out of me. I really worry about them. And I feel tremendously guilty taking this vacation. I know I shouldn't, but its hard not to. Although I could have given her every penny I am spending at WDW and she'd still be in this mess. Dh and I did decide we are going to use our DVC points for either a two bedroom or a Treehouse Villa in October of 2010. That way, I can invite my sister and nephew to come with us. I may not because I know I'd have to help them with the whole vacation most likely (sister in particular) but she has had basically one true vacation in her adult life. I don't intend to say anything for some time, this is a risky thing, she has the ability to ruin things if she gets in a spell. But at least I'm caught up on points beginning that year and have enough to do a 2br if I want to. Even if its just us, it will be super nice to have that much space. And if my sister comes with us, God knows I"ll need it!

This week has to be good. I have forbidden myself to weigh before Friday. Between the bloat, no exercise and bad food choices, who needs that sort of bad news?! I still have two and a half weeks, hopefully I can get the water weight and weekend weight off at least and be back to my 16 pounds. I just need to regroup. This hormonal rollercoaster really stinks but its what I have going on and I just have to deal with it. Today was much better with food but still shabby. No fruits, no veggies.

Plan for tomorrow (well make that today, its 1:30 in the morning) is to shop for healthy food and go to the gym. Basically, get back on track!

Tracy: When I opened my documents, you probably heard me scream. Its really real now.

Lisa: Thanks for the information, the DDP saves us money but the two desserts plus snacks is killer on the waistline. I love the long trips although I am usually ready to come home. I miss my dog if nothing else!

Amy: We didn't actually have Mexican on Friday night. Got in a huge traffic jam between Denver and Colorado Springs, it took us 45 minutes to go five miles so we pulled off early and had my sister meet us at a steakhouse. Which could have been better but of course I didn't behave too well. I fear you may be entering the phase of hormonal hell I've been in for several years. Lots of PMS, not a lot of TOM's. Stupid female organs!

Edited to add: Ds is up sick right now. I guess no school for him tomorrow. I swear, if dd gets this, I'll scream. She has been sick so much this winter, ds not much at all. At least its getting to the end of the year and if it goes through the family, we have time to get over it before WDW. Poor kid, he's pretty miserable right now.

 

[toystoryduo]

First, I want to send a gentle your way, WISH sis.

Next, no worries about the exercise, Amy. You did a lot of running around this weekend and that does count as exercise! :

No worries about the scale either. It sounds like total water weight. Drink lots of water this week and once your TOM symptoms let up, I bet those pounds will whoosh right off!

I think that is so nice of you to want to include your sister in your vacation plans for next year. I bet those Treehouse Villas are soooo cool!

Sending lost of for both of your kids. I hope your DS is feeling much better soon and that your DD stays completely healthy.

Amy, I know the weekend was kind of rough, but I know you and I know that you CAN and you WILL get back on program. You have done an amazing job so far this year, Amy and I know that you will continue to do an amazing job. Brush the weekend off and keep moving forward...This is your time, Amy! You CAN do it!

Have a wonderful day, my friend.

 

[goldcupmom]

I'm right there with you on the gain, Amy! It is SO DEPRESSING!!!

And TOM woes.....GRRRRRRR!!!!!!!

Glad your WDW Docs have arrived! That is so cool!!

Don't feel too guilty over your sister. We all are responsible for our own choices.....and unfortunately, have to deal with the consequences.

Hope you have a good rest of the week!!

 

[eyor44]

Okay, first sit back, close your eyes, take a deep breath and think about a wonderful place. A wonderful, magical place where everyone is happy (or parents are at least threatening their kids that they better be) and wishes can (sometimes) come true. Girl, you are going to Disney and there isn't much better than that. (although a chocolate cake, just frosted, still warm from the oven can come really close)

You have had a bad last few days, but you will preserver. You have come so far, just take a minute (or a day) to regroup.

About taking your sister to Disney. Have you ever read this thread? http://www.disboards.com/showthread.php?t=1872155&highlight=marivaid

Take some time to read it. You'll laugh, you'll cry, you'll say "my sister isn't that bad" (maybe, I don't know your sister). Any way, it is a very entertaining thread and the laughter may do you some good.

 

[traceycooper]

and more
and we so should have a scale bashing smilie!!!

for Tom
for DS getting better...and...
for you!

 

[Amy&Dan]

Lisa, I know that thread well! It is one of the most entertaining trip reports I have read and I fear could be my own experience if I decide to do this. Honestly, the money issue is huge, I am just not sure if I can swing the money for the airfare, tickets and meals for her and my nephew. If nephew ever gets full time hours at UPS he'll be fine, my sister will never be able to afford that. Its a big decision.

Tracy: I looked into Treehouse Villas some more, they look great but they are remote and with my sister's MS, not sure the stairs and hike over to SSR is the right move. But they look so nice!

Julie: To think I thought menopause was just an end to TOM. Wrongo, its been a 10 year experience just in the perimenopausal stage. The things we girls have to go through.

Tracey: Thanks for the good wishes and a sympathetic ear.

Yesterday and today was much better. I worked out both days, ate well and feel so much better. Not sure what the scale will say but for sure some of that bloat is gone. I may not go to WW this week, I am off prepay right now and may just go the next week which is my last week before WDW. I'll just play it by ear. I do think I"ll do the prepay thing when I get back or in the fall when I know I"ll go enough to make it worthwhile.

I need to get to journals but may wait until tomorrow morning. I am wiped out. Sat through that frustrating Nuggets game tonight, what a waste of my time.

I am defnitely back on track and feeling better. I need to get off my pity wagon and frustration with these hormone woes. There is not one thing I can do about it and I just need to not let it get to me. Unless I decide to have the Ovary BBQ with all my Wish Sisters that is!

 

[toystoryduo]

Congrats on getting back on track, Amy!!!! Keep up the good work!!!

Have a great evening!

 

[Amy&Dan]

Thanks Tracy for stopping by!

So I was a bit sick today, I got a much lighter case of what ds had on Tuesday. I stayed in and used it as a great opportunity to get caught up on laundry and disboard. Since I always manage to gain weight when I am sick, I am sure that won't help my scale efforts! I am feeling better, had a plain baked potato from Wendy's tonight and it hit the spot. I think I'll be fine tomorrow since I feel basically fine tonight. I hope so, I have a Nuggets Party to attend!

I had coffee with an old friend yesterday. Her daughter is getting married so I met her at a Starbucks halfway between our homes (she lives literally on the opposite end of the metro area which is probably why I never see her) so I could give her the wedding gift (we can't attend its when we are in WDW). Her daughter was my flower girl when I got married and now she's getting married! Man, I feel old. My friend had gastric bypass about a year ago and looks so good. I am ashamed to say I am jealous! But so happy for her, she's been overweight every since I"ve known her. We used to teach at the same Montessori pre school and to this day we still have a good laugh about some of our funny little students who are now all grown up. I wish I could lose as much weight as she has. In any case, she is having some issues with her aging parents and I feel so bad for her. Been there, done that. Then tonight I talked with my cousin in Texas, both of his inlaws are having all sorts of health problems and he and his wife are stressed to the limits and trying to figure out what to do. So I feel bad for them too. I tried to offer advice based on my experience and be honest but not too depressing. I must say, that stage of my life is over and I miss my mom terribly but not the agonizing decisions that always seemed to be cropping up.

Have three things revolving around food and beverage this weekend, so I need to do the best I can. Summer is all about camping, bbq's and right now the Nuggets. Sometimes I wonder if its possible to just ever get people together without food or drinks! But what fun would that be???

 

[lovinaz]

Sorry to hear about the TOM woes! It's been 2 months for me, very bizarre...

Don't ever feel guilty about taking a vacation! Like you said, your sister would still be in a mess and you wouldn't have had that stress relief that we all need so much. So do what you can, but remember that she is also an adult and needs to be responsible for her own problems.

2 weeks left!!!! I bet you are SO ready!!!

 

[toystoryduo]

Amy,

Your vacation is soooo close!!!! I bet you are getting so excited!

I hope you have a great weekend!

 

[eyor44]

Amy
Are you starting to get excited? I am. It is so close.

Hope you feel better and the bug is gone.

How wonderful to get to spend time with an old friend. I love just sitting around talking every once in a while.

Have a great day.