Amy's New Start : Comments Welcome!

[Amy&Dan]

Thanks Diane. Yes, when I see that man from BL, and the almost freakish way his weight distributed on his body, it makes me so sad. I am happy to say my friend is doing a support group weekly, even 7 months post surgery, I hope she keeps it off, I can't even imagine gaining weight back post surgery.

I completely blew it today. I had a total meltdown following a bad haircut. Dh and I were all set to get our london broil and walk and I decided to run into Great Clips for a quick triim. I have been trying to grow my hair out all through the fall and haven't even had it cut in two months and it needed to be shaped up. When I walked in, nobody spoke English, I almost walked out (had a bad feeling) but a nice lady came up and so I followed her back. Well she either didn't understand me or she just had her own idea but she cut off about an inch and a half. Which is a lot given my short hairstyle (that is now butch short. I now am back to a very short hair cut, shorter than its been in many years. I took my glasses off and sort of zoned out and then noticed the amount of hair on the cape and by then it was too late. I was really mad. I tipped her but she knew I was upset. I guess a woman in the throws of hair turmoil is the universal language. I am just sick. It looks awful. I hope it grows out some in the next three weeks before the wedding.

So I came home and ate; a twice baked potato (I have 8 of these in my freezer as part of an Omaha steaks xmas gift), some nachos, some cookie dough and a beer. I threw out the rest of everything but I feel bloated and sick at heart and I look like GI Amy. Really bad end to the weekend. Even dh who rarely has anything but positive things to say about my appearance is upset and admits it doesn't look very good. Great. The man who never notices when I do most anything to my hair stood up with this deer in the headlights look on his face as soon as he saw me! Even ds said "are you upset about your hair?" That would be a YES.

Well tomorrow is a new day. I may have still lost weight since I lost about two pounds of hair off my head.

 

[DisDee]

Well Amy, a haircut is one way to lose weight. You made me chuckle even when you're upset. I know how frustrating it is to grow out a short cut. I try it every now and then cave and get it cut again. One good thing is, it will grow back. Do you have a regular stylist who can fix it before the wedding? I feel for you kiddo, but don't let the bad hair sabotage all your other great efforts. How do you feel about hats??? Don't fret too much, you will get thru this!

 

[Goofydiane]

I know the feeling about bad haircuts, been there done that. the good news is that it grows back. I'd look at soem short haircuts online and see if you can style yours to something different - use a manipulator or something to change it up slightly.

the other thing I would do is lose directions to that salon you went to!

 

[lovinaz]

Bummer about the haircut! I agree with everyone else - maybe see if you can find someone to "fix" it before the wedding. Or maybe find a nice hat to wear if it's really that bad. But 3 weeks is a long time, I'm sure it will look fine by then.

How did the visit with stepdad go? If he starts in again, just tell him it's time to go, then leave. Maybe eventually he will know that he needs to watch his mouth a little more...

Get over the bad day, so you plowed through some flex points. You can re-group and get back on track starting NOW!

 

[toystoryduo]

Hi Amy,

Sorry to hear about the bad haircut. I hope it grows out quickly for you!

How did your dinner with your stepdad go? I hope it went well.

Have a great evening!

 

[Amy&Dan]

Thanks everybody. My bad haircut is still in a word, BAD. I need to find a hairstylisy. Ever since mine retired (went to her for like 7 years) I haven't found one yet that I can afford so I go to Great Clips type places. I am hoping that by the wedding it will look okay. I am really hesitant to let anybody cut it now, but I may go in someplace and have it colored and then have them style it for me. I have had it this short before but I find as I get older, I need more hair. It basically looks like Jamie Lee Curtis' hair. Her long, thin face compliments her short boyish hair cut much better than mine does. Oh well, such is life.

Dinner with stepdad was nice, he was on very good behavior. He looked old and tired. Of course he is old and tired. I took sloppy joes made with 96% lean ground beef and some whole wheat pasta and he had a veggie tray and an apple pie. I had one tiny slice of pie. He didn't say one thing about my weight or hair. Of course he is practically blind so if he had noticed my hair then I would have really freaked me out. I agreed to meet his girlfriend next month. I did tell him I didnt' want to meet her at my house or his so he said maybe we'd just go to her place. Dd is especially dreading this but I told her it will be fine. She is afraid they will want Ruth to be her grandma, I told her Ruth has lots of grandkids of her own. I am betting Ruth will have plenty of female intuition and make the meeting run fine. Grandpa, not so much. He told dd she would like Ruth because she isn't sick like her grammy always was. He is such a dork sometimes. So I did my duty for awhile, he is coming over here on the 14th for dh's birthday and then we wont' see him for a couple of weeks at least. As I drove home I was reminded again of how much my family dynamics have changed since my mom died. Who knew one person could hold so many relationships together?

Ds wants to go on his church mission trip in July. So I am going to have to be nice, mature mama and let him go away from me for one whole week. I have no idea where they are going, just that its out of state. Last year I think they went to an Indian reservation. Ds is really wanting to do this, he is all set to start earing some money with babysitting or yard work to help pay for the trip. I asked him if he was worried about being homesick and he said "Mom this isn't about us, its about our fellow man". Well alrighty then! When you are 1000 miles from home you just remember that kiddo! I am pleased he wants to go. This is the kid that sobbed every morning from pre school through about 2nd grade and up until about a year ago said he would buy the house next door so he could see me everyday forever! Ahh, times change. I think it will be really good for him. I can already feel the peace and quiet of my life when he is gone for seven days!

Food yesterday was perfect. Today I am walking with a friend of mine. She is also overweight and really hoping to make changes. I want to support her but have to say, I want to be careful doing an exercise partner. In the past I have often gotten off kilter trying to walk with another person. If they don't go, I bag it too. So I just need to make sure stay on task even if my friend doesn't!
I'll also walk with dh tonight. And then tomorrow I am going to the rec center alone and that will be nice. Its good to walk with somebody else, its good to walk alone.

Edited to add: Back from my walk. I have to say it was amazing how fast 45 minutes went when I walked with my friend. We got to talking and it flew by. It doesn't go that fast when I walk with dh, probably because its late in the day and I am more tired. Its also colder. Today it was only 48, but the sun was shining and it felt so nice and warm. We are going on Thursday too. She's out of a job right now, once she's back at work, its back to walking alone. And that's okay too. But I must say, when two women get to gabbing, time flies!

 

[traceycooper]

Hi Amy - i'm sorry you dont like your haircut, sounds like it would make you feel better is you went somewhere else & explained & had it coloured & shaped I had mine cut really short once & hated it & funnily enough just before a wedding!! i coloured it & used lots of pretty hairclips!
Glad dinner went well with step dad
My DD went away for a week last year for the 1st time, she had a ball & cried when she came home!!! i on the other hand missed her loads!!
Its good that your DS is confident enough to want to do this

 

[lovinaz]

I'm glad you enjoyed walking with your friend! But I agree with your DH, you are ON FIRE right now with the whole exercising and WW business, and if you do better when you are alone, do it alone. Do whatever it takes to stay in the goove!

You have one classy DS. You should be proud of him! I doubt my DS would do something that doesn't benefit himself somehow. It's not from a lack of trying to teach him otherwise, that's for sure!

You are already doing great on your exercise challenge, way to go!

 

[toystoryduo]

Walking with a friend does make time go by much faster! I'm glad you had a good time.

I'm also glad that dinner went well with your stepdad.

That is so cool that your DS wants to go on a Missions Trip!

I hope you have a great day!

 

[Amy&Dan]

Thanks Amy, Tracy and Tracey.

I am afraid I fell prey to my old friend/enemy emotional eating today. Had a conference with all five of ds' teachers. His grades have fallen lately and I know he'll get on track but dealing with this stuff with ds really gets me down. He's a great kid, so mature beyond his years and in spite of a very high I.Q. and strong work ethic, school is seldom easy for him. The conference was fine, he really has a great group of teachers and yet to see five adults basically go against one kid wasn't easy. I really had to fight back the tears a few times. Life is just never easy for that kid, and I so wish I knew how to make it better. But he seems okay, still upbeat and trying hard. Probably just having this on the heels of dd being diagnosed with a learning disablity just got to me. I sort of feel lost and alone with this, dh is busy, swamped and stressed running his office and I have found through the years that people can be very judgemental about stuff like this. Just recently I was talking with a friend, who has a 7 year old who has seen some falling grades and I said "oh I can relate". She basically ended up telling me her kid is so much smarter than mine that somehow his crappola grades are more of a tragedy. Whatever. This is the kid who stuck his wet finger in my light socket about five times one day and kept screaming how much it hurt. Um yeah, smart boy that does hurt. Anyway, dh came to the meeting and I was really relieved and happy to have him there. I also feel guilty, I keep thinking maybe I am just a lousy mom. I guess you never think when they are babies they'll grow up less than perfect. But I guess they usually do. One thing about it, this is a great school they are in so I feel very good about that. I just hope ds gets his act together. Until the next crisis of course.

So I ate too much, didn't work out and TOM came back yet again. What is up with that??? I feel bloated and tired and worried about Friday's weigh in. But if I don't do well, there's always next week.

My friend and I are all set to walk tomorrow morning the weather here is warm and it will be almost 70 tomorrow. 25 degrees above normal. I'll take it!

 

[toystoryduo]

Oh sweetie....I am sending a gentle your way.

Please, please, please, please don't ever feel like you are a lousy mom. I think you are a wonderful mom and an amazing woman and I know that your family agrees!!!! I think that all kids go through different bumps in the road of life at one time or another and that sounds like what your DS might be experiencing right now. Do you think that maybe making grades a condition of the missions' trip will help?

I know yesterday was a tough day. Please try and take it easy today. No worries about the scale either. Just put one foot in front of the other and keep moving forward. You can do it, Amy!

Sending you a PM......

 

[lovinaz]

Sorry to hear about all the school stuff! It is easy to say you are a bad mom (I do it every time DS gets into trouble) but that is not the case. He is a caring young man. School is not easy for everyone. It won't last forever! It's just a flash in the pan. If he grows up, gets a decent job and is an asset to society, you have done your job well. I know it's hard to constantly be dealing with this (I have been there, but more on the behavior side instead of the academic side) and I know how gut-wrenching it is, but you'll get through it!

I hope your walk with your friend puts you in a better mindset. Don't get sucked into the trap and start the downhill spiral. Snap out of it and get back on track!!!

 

[Amy&Dan]

Tracy: Thanks so much and thank you for the pm. You always know what to say to make me feel better.

Amy: I thought about you yesterday and knew you know just I how feel! When you have a kid that falls outside the box, it can be a real challenge.

I got right back on track today. I just sort of allowed myself to take yesterday off, regroup and feel a bit sorry for myself, but today was back to business. I walked with my friend (45 minutes) and dh and I will walk tonight (30) So that puts me at 150 minutes for the month, a decent start.

Walking with my friend was good, she has two kids who have the same issues mine do so she had some good suggestions and input. And a nice shoulder to cry on.

Its 65 here today, 11 degrees warmer than in Orlando! How often can that be said in the month of February? It was so nice to be outside and I didn't even need my jacket once I got warmed up.

The latest school drama is that the choir teacher is really upset that dd won't be there for the February concert. Its the night we will be enroute to Texas for my niece's wedding. She feels a wedding isn't a valid excuse. This performance is 20% of dd's grade and given her overall GPA she needs a B or better in her elective to balance things out. Dh hit the roof, I sent a very nice email asking if dd could do something else. She is going to think on it. Think away lady, but I find it hard to believe my kid is the first kid in the history of a school choir to miss a performance. Dd is crushed, she can't stand it when a teacher gets mad at her! Public school can really be an experience sometimes. From the pan, to the fire, and back to the pan again. Given TOM, yesterday's conference and my hair from hell, this teacher might want to think twice before she gets in my face!

Speaking of hair, have I mentioned that mine looks like Demi Moore in GI Jane? I'll say this, it only takes me 25 seconds to do my hair so thats sort of nice. Its so short I had to buy a smaller brush for when I blow it dry. I may have to put the Great Clips lady and the choir teacher in the same category!

Thanks for the support. Ds will be fine, I may be in the looney bin however!

 

[lovinaz]

I'm glad you got right back on the wagon today!!!

Hopefully the teacher will let DD make up the grade some other way. She should be happy that you are taking an interest and trying to work something out. Would she rather you just had DD miss the concert with no warning?? Being a teacher can probably be pretty stressful - hopefully she was just shocked and will work with you once that shock has worn off!

 

[Amy&Dan]

Thanks Amy. She's actually always sort of unpleasant. She seems to really want the kids to take choir seriously but makes it so unpleasant, they just want out! I think she seems like maybe she doesn't like teaching that much. I am bummed, dd doesn't want to do choir next year as her elective. Bottom line, it'll be fine, I just felt bad for dd because she wanted to take responsiblity and talk to this woman on her own and was just heartbroken when the teacher got miffy. I can't help it that my niece planned her wedding when she did and no way will I cancel going. I did look into dd and I flying out to Amarillo on Friday morning, but then that leaves dh doing all the driving Thursday night (we can't afford for all four of us to fly roundtrip plus rent a car) when he's tired and been working all day. So it just can't be helped. And I do think teaching is so stressful, the last thing I want to do is make this woman's life more that way. I might add this whole thing just came up, I didn't even know this wedding was happening in February until a few weeks ago so I couldn't talk to the teacher in advance which may be why she is upset. I'm also bummed to miss it, dd has been working on this choir music since November. Oh well, enough about that.

I NEED to start posting my food again so here is today:

Breakfat: Cheerios with skim and one oz. of turkey: 4
Snack: Mini Luna Bar: 2
Lunch: Grilled Chicken wrap (8) diet coke (0) and whole grains crisps (2)
Snack: Yogurt (2)
Dinner: Chicken with pasta and broccoli (8)
Total 26

I'll need to eat something else before bed since I am under on points.

 

[lovinaz]

Great job on the food! How did WI go this morning?? Hopefully you have good news to report.

I caught up on Biggest Loser last night. I'm so sick that one of the teammates that got voted off was the victim of choosing the wrong partner! That's too bad, but it looks like they will both be successful in the end.

 

[Amy&Dan]

Hi Amy, I'm probably only about one of five people on the planet that felt sorry for Joelle. To me she looked so sad and once people started getting disgusted with her (which in many ways was understandable) they just never let it go. She just gave up in my book. I hope she's successful and I hope Carla is too. Its a shame about their friendship but I guess when you put $250,000 worth of pressure on two friends, it takes a toll!

Weigh in was not great, I was up .6 I do have to say, I was proud for going. I knew I was up, I knew it was from overeating and TOM but I went anyway. I love my WW leader. She already knows my name, she is just so positive and I feel like she really cares and wants me to succeed. And guess what, she has super short hair!

I left WW and went shopping. We have a birthday party tonight and I have nothing to wear. I ended up feeling like I was going to be sick or pass out, I was on an almost empty stomach and so I went and grabbed lunch at Chick Fil A. I asked for a sandwich without fries, got my bag, drove off and guess what's in the bag? Fries. And guess who ate them anyway? That would be me. Oh well. I must say, I enjoyed them!

I got an email from dd's music teacher. Omg, the woman is clearly peeved beyond reason that dd is missing that concert. She sent me three assignments Maria could do in place of the concert. All three were college level type assignements. I knew right off the bat dd could not do any of these assignments, heck, I am not sure I could. I sent her counselor an email asking for some guidance and she hit the roof as did the principal. Neither one of them could figure out the assignments either. And they were both upset because since dd has an IEP, this teacher knows full well she can't handle that level of research and work at age 12. The counseler said it was just unacceptable and apologized. So dd is now out of choir and in art. With a teacher that ds has had who is wonderful and makes the kids feel like they are all gifted artists. She met dd and gave her a big hug saying she can't wait to have her in her class. So what dd needs right now, just a feel good, fun elective. I am sad about choir, she has a lovely voice. But this will be a much better fit. So that crisis is done. I love this school. They really work with the kids as individuals and the parents. I just know they can help dd at long last to be more successful. In the meantime, she can have fun drawing and painting and not doing graduate level research projects!

I have a lot of food fests this weekend. Tonight's birthday part. Then on Saturday we are going out for CiCi's Pizza with our church group after services. All you can eat pizza buffet, now there's a potential diet diaster and then on our good friends are going with dh and I to a place that has like two things on the menu: chicken wings and burgers. Its dh's birthday and he picked. The man loves his wings. My plan is to save flex points for the wings, and eat my own dinner tonight before the party. I also plan to take my herbal tea and drink that over ice and maybe nobody will notice its not a cocktail. And then at Cici's I just plan to figure out the points for a couple of pieces of pizza off DWLZ.com and then have salad. At least I know what I am doing, now its up to me to make it successful. I can do it, I just need to keep remembering how not good it felt today when I was up on the scale. Nothing tastes good enough to compensate for that feeling. Although those Chick Fil waffle fries came close!

 

[Amy&Dan]

Forgot to post food:

Breakfast: Yogurt (2)
Snack: mini luna bar (2)
Lunch: Chick Fil A (20)
Dinner: Was going to be: Lean Cuisine: (4) orange (2) but I just read the email invite and it says dinner. Not sure I want or will be able to eat nothing at a dinner type party. So I may just take a very small portion. I have 9 points left so I have to make whatever I eat fall in that. And absolutely no birthday cake or alcohol. I blew it at Chick Fil A but you know what, I dont' care! It was what I wanted and I am fine with splurging on that and limiting tonight.

These weekends KILL me.

 

[lovinaz]

I love Chik-Fil-A! But DH hates it, so I never get to go. Probably a good thing! In fact, I can't even recall the last time I've eaten fast food.

I'm glad DD had the option to switch to art instead of choir. It's always nice when the teachers work with the parents. I got an e-mail from DS's teacher today, letting me know that he is missing 2 assignments but he still has time to turn them in. Funny, he never mentioned that to me!

Good luck at the parties this weekend. YOU CAN DO IT! Remember how bummed you were when you saw that 0.6 lb gain (which is nothing by the way!) and how proud of yourself you will be when you keep yourself under control.

 

[Amy&Dan]

Amy, for years the only Chick Fil A we had was at the mall all the way across town. Now we have one very near our house. I eat fast food once a week but I have a list of legal stuff I can have. I tend to stick with tacos no cheese, grilled chicken sandwiches and if they have a chicken wrap I'll get that. And I always ask that they put romaine lettuce on if they have it. We rarely get to eat out at full service restaurants so for us, fast food is the only way we get to eat out. Today, was a bust, but its what I wanted. I just have to plan around it.

Isn't it funny how kids forget to mention those missing assignments? If not for Power School, I would never know what is going on with ds, he doesn't volunteer much info!

Thanks for the encouragement!