Amy's New Start : Comments Welcome!

[Amy&Dan]

Okay, rant type post. Remember a few weeks ago when I posted about my kids rooms and how messy they were? Well it got better for about three or four days and then began to slip again. I yell, I threat. I sit there and think "I can't believe I have turned into one of these women who lets their kids be slobs and complains but does nothing about it". I had threatened to throw away any item on the floor. Problem is, the only items on the floor are the trash from ds' never ending eating (his dog gets the empty stuff out of the trash) and both of them don't make their beds much if at all lately and ds leaves dirty clothes on the floor. I am sorry, I cannot make myself throw away a pair of $50 jeans that in the end, I will have to buy or replace. Seemed like cutting my nose off to spite my face since neither of my kids has many clothes, let alone any I can feel okay with throwing away.

So I brewed this all in my mind then decided its time to try a new approach. I typed up agreements they have to sign!

Each kid has to keep their room clean and I am going to have them start doing their own laundry. I'll teach them. Maybe the first time they dont' have clean clothes because THEY didnt' wash them will make an impact. And I had them sign that if they don't do what they agree to, they'll be grounded. I also set a firm time limit for ds' grades to be brought up or he will no longer be allowed any week night activities, including church. Period.

I also put in there that if they are late to school thats fine, they can do detention but I will no longer get them their on time if it means they leave a messy room for me to clean. And sorry, closing the door is not an option because I think I shouldn't have closed doors that block out but don't address a pig sty of a room. Ds is way worse than dd but she has been lazy lately too.

I have two great kids, but in the end, they have room to improve and they are going to or they will suffer the consequences. All I have to do is mention "no church stuff for you" to either of them and that will literally put the fear of God into them because they both love and won't miss that stuff. It may seem weird to ground a kid from church, but I can't think of a better way to up the anty.


Okay, rant over.

 

[goldcupmom]

I applaud you, Amy! You ROCK!!! This is almost EXACTLY what I wanted to do with my kids & DH wouldn't allow me to. It likely would have worked, too!

Hope the rest of your day went better! LOVE your exercise!!

 

[toystoryduo]

What a GREAT idea, Amy!!! I need to have my kids do that as well. I just can't get them to keep their rooms clean or any room for that matter Their stuff always seems to migrate from their rooms to every other room in the house. I hope you'll keep us updated as to how this works out for you.

I hope you have a nice evening!

 

[solar]

It's nice you were there for your friend when she needed to talk. I'm sure she appreciates that.

My mom started us washing our own clothes at 12...it made an impact on me, i knew i wouldn't have clean clothes if i didn't do them

the trashbag thing, i've done that...but i stuck with it- (not clothes, toys) you have 1 hour, if it's on the floor when i come back it's going in the trash...stick to it JUST ONE TIME, and they'll know you MEAN it, and will take the threat seriously

 

[lovinaz]

I hope the contracts work for you! That is also a good life lesson, because when they are adults and sign something, they are in it for whatever it says.

I like the Barilla pasta.

Did you make it to WI today? You are doing great on all of your workouts, just think of how much better shape you are in for your Disney trip!

 

[eyor44]

What a brillant idea! contracts! Love it. Yes, please keep us posted as to how it works out.

My mother would never ground us from church. Would have gotten my attention quick if I would of had to of missed a youth trip as punishment.

Glad you were able to be there for your friend. You are so right, some times you got to prioritize and I'm sure she really appreciated that you were there for her.

Hope you had a great day Amy.

 

[solar]

checking in...hope everything is going well...i'll stop back again when i get back from vaca...hope the contracts stick!

 

[eyor44]

Hi Amy. I hope you are having a great weekend. How did Friday go? Can't wait to hear what you ended up doing with DD and her friend.

 

[inkkognito]

Excellent way to handle the messy rooms...getting a commitment in writing and setting up clear boundaries and related consequences. Good for you!

 

[Amy&Dan]

Thanks Ladies, you all must have thought I was abducted by aliens!

We had more computer issues but dh just needed a cable (I think that's what it was) and finally got that fixed yesterday. I also had such a busy weekend that just flew by!

First of all: Contracts. The kids signed them, we had long talks and so far so good. When they saw in writing what the concerns were it seemed to have a much bigger impact than any threats or yelling I did. The dog poop got cleaned up, the rooms stayed clean and the only thing that didn't happen was the laundry thing. They both had busy weekends as did I and I just didn't get a chance to teach them how to sort and operate the machine and how much soap they need to use. They have been putting away their laundry for years, now I just need to get myself organized to take that next step! Today dd has the day off so I already told her we'd get hers done, ds does have school today so we can either do it tonight or probably later in the week.

Weigh in: I was down .6 So not a huge loss but a loss nonetheless. Since I joined WW on January 6th, I have lost every weigh in. That is a record for me. Even when I splurge or get off track, I get back on or splurge in a way that doesn't tank my efforts. I am down 7.4 in seven weeks so I made my goal of at leat one pound per week! I was so happy. I want to lose at least five before WDW. I also need to take my measurements because I know darn good and well those have really improved probably more than the scale has.

I can't believe we leave in less than four weeks! I had a long list of things to do to get ready for the trip but other than getting all our toiletries (including sun screen!) I didn't get anything done. The main thing is Dan needs to line Shelby's dog house with carpet scraps so its warmer. The kid that takes care of the dog often can't get Shelby to come near him which means he can't get her into the house. It will be late March into April but still cold at night at the very least so I need to make sure that gets done. I was going to board them at the pet spa but its so expensive and I know they are happier at home, Daisy in particular. I'll save almost $300 by having them here which is beyond a good thing.

Julie: Its funny, I have for years thought I should have the kids do this and just kept putting it off. I'll keep you updated on how this goes!

Tracy: Its really hard for me to keep things organized, we don't have a large house and the kids rooms are so small that it doesn't take much to have them looking like a bomb went off!

Amy: I think the act of putting their signatures on those contracts stuck with them! Yeah, that Barilla pasta is my favorite.

Deb: Its all about priorities. When I said I'd throw stuff away, I never saw a gambeboy or PSP on the floor again. But the clothes, well that's a different story. I think they know I am not going to throw their clothes away so they just slacked off. I had to run a better offense!

Barb: The clear consequences thing was made very clear. Nothing like taking their fun money and activities away to scare the crap out of them!

Lisa: Church is both my kids big thing. I mean, it felt weird to tell ds yesterday, "you can't pack up food to take to the homeless shelter unless that room is cleaned" but whatever it takes to help me lose my "maid" status is fine with me!

 

[Amy&Dan]

Forgot to mention that I didn't exercise all weekend. I really wanted to take a walk after church yesterday but it was so cold, damp and gloomy I didn't feel like it. I had other things I could have done but didnt'! Today is off to the rec center for walking and aquasize and I am taking dd and her friend since they have the day off.

I am also trying to learn a bit from my son. I have noticed that when he wants something, he goes all for it. He wants to add muscle and get in shape, so he takes his Christmas money, buys this Iron Man bar thing and does pull ups, pushing himself to add more each time he does it. He wants to do this search and rescue thing and gives it his all to make it happen and when it doesn't, he doens't give up, instead he talks to the youth pastor about doing some type of service work there instead. And sure enough, he finds out that this guy will take a few kids on extra service projects he doesn't advertise because he wants only kids that are really serious to do them.

I have to say, I am proud because both dh and I have a tendancy to give up too easily when we face obstacles and our son clearly is not that way! So he's on his journey to gain 50 pounds by the time he graduates and I am on my journey to lose twice that much! I told him last night he's teaching me a few lessons lately. Maybe I should have him draw up a contract for me to sign!

 

[toystoryduo]

Woohoo!!!! You are under the 30 day mark for your vacation!!!!

I'm glad that the contract is working out for you and the kids.

That is so cool that your son is taking the initiative to make good things happen in his life and inspiring you and Dan to reach your goals!

Great job on weigh-in!!!! That is wonderful that you have lost weight at each weigh-in this year. Keep up the good work!

Have a wonderful day!

 

[lovinaz]

That is great about DS! I really think that kind of motivation has to come from inside. I'm glad you are able to learn from him.

Congrats on the loss, and the string of losses this year! I bet your measurements will show you've made tons of progress too!

Are you having someone come watch the doggies?

 

[inkkognito]

Sounds like DS has amazing dedication! It's great that he can be an inspiration for you. So funny that he is working to gain it while you're trying to lose it. Too bad they can just teleport it between your bodies, hee hee.

 

[eyor44]

getting close to Disney!

Glad you had a good weekend and I hope you had a good day with DD yesterday also.

You have such a great DS. I agree with Amy that motivation is something inside you, but I also think he gets it from you. You want to lose weight and no matter how long the process, you haven't given up. You have stuck to it and keep trying and pushing on.

and way to go on losing over a pound a week. that is awesome!

Have a great day Amy!

 

[DisDee]

Congrats on the continued weight loss Amy. You are doing great!

Your trip will be here before you know it. I love the prep for a vacation as well as the vaca itself. The anticipation is part of the fun.

You should be very proud of your DS and his commitment. Obviously you have raised him well!

 

[Amy&Dan]

Thanks so much everyone. For those of you who have been on my journal for awhile, you probably remember all that heartache, stress and worry that have often surrounded ds, we've had to change schools a couple of times, he's been bullied etc., but I think time, his growing up, my growing up , a great church youth staff, and a good therapist have all helped him get to where he is! He's still a work in progress but after so many years of using my journal partly to cry on my Wish Sisters' shoulders about all of this, its nice to be able to share good news now.

Last three days have been good with food and exercise. I aquasized Monday and Tuesday (and walked each day as well for around 20 minutes) then today I got in a 40 minute walk and hope to get another 20 minutes if I can find 20 minutes to spare!

I really struggled with NOT eating yesterday, not only was I stressed (about ds amongst other things, like I said its a work in progress ) I was also so hungry. Most of the time, my points keep me satisfied but the last few days I am physically hungry way more than usual. If I wasn't where I am hormonally, I'd think I was pms'ing but I think maybe the extra water workouts are increasing my appetite. So I am trying very hard to eat filling foods and not stuff that will have me hungry again an hour after I eat it. All I can say is thank goodness for deli turkey, almonds, yogurt and apples because they are the only things keeping me from heading to the nearest Country Buffet to nosh myself silly!

I will get to journals later, I am going to take my friend to lunch, she's having some issues with her son and I am hoping maybe I can offer her some insight. Cause I"ve been there and I 've done that!

 

[eyor44]

I hope you had a nice lunch with friend today and were able to help her. Sometimes having someone just listen to me works wonders. What a great friend you are Amy.

and..... for controlling the eating. You have come such a long way since I first met you about a year ago. You should be very proud of yourself. Yes, I think the increase in exercise is why you have the increase in appetite. Don't you get points based on how much exercise you do?

 

[Amy&Dan]

Thanks Lisa. This friend is one of those people that has so many similarities to me both with her son and weight struggles so we have a lot to relate to with each other!

I did so well with food today. We had lunch at a little place that is right next door to a Cold Stone Creamery. I kept thinking about ice cream so after we finished I walked over there and got us each a small cup. We both went healthy and I have to say it was sort of a bummer! I was proud to do well as far as calories, but I got their fat free, sweet cream, no sugar added stuff and it has this awful, nutra sweet type after taste. I had her put m & m's with it, telling her to only put in half the normal amount and so I just picked those out and threw out $3.50 worth of the worst tasting excuse for ice cream I've ever eaten. Next time, I am getting my fave, cake batter flavor and asking them to only give me a half portion. Their smallest size is probably a good one cup of ice cream. I'd rather eat just a bit of something that satisfies then some chemically processed crap.

The good news is that I had a very healthy salad with maybe two teaspoons of dressing a two glasses of ice tea. Then I made soft chicken tacos for dinner on corn tortillas (so much less calories than flour ones) and some black beans. Compared to yesterday, I was not nearly so hungry and since I didn't swim, that sort of reinforces that whole idea that swimming does make me hungrier.

Another friend of mine and I went to the newly opened Sprouts tonight. I really liked it. They had great prices and I was able to stock up on some fruit for much less than my normal grocery store. But I had to avoid the bins of nuts and trail mix! I did get a bag of low fat, natural cheeze puff things for the kids lunches and I can have a serving for only three points so that's not bad.

I have one day left before weigh in. My goal was to lose two pounds this week. We'll see!

 

[toystoryduo]

Sounds like you are doing a great job, Amy!!! Keep up the good work!

We're getting ready to make ADRs in a few days and I was wondering...Have you ever eaten at Narcoossees (sp?) or at Big River Grill and Brewing Works? If so, did you like it? Thanks!

Hope you have a great day today!