Thanks Tracy and Tracey, always your support means the world.
I have had a rough couple of days. I have a really bad headache that just won't go away. I have been struggling with food (not doing horrible, just not as good as I would like), I haven't exercised and TOM has shown up for the second time in two weeks. After a four month hiatus. I can't win on that front.
I also have had some crap come up that has upset me. Feel free to skip, I just find writing this type of thing down helps me.
First of all, my sister has managed to surface and upset me. Just before we left, my husband and son ran into her at church. Her congregation is buying mine's building so we share space. She always finds a way to hang around like the pest she is so she can see us. I wasn't there, dd and I were with friends but dh and ds were. Anywho, during a conversation with my sister and some friends of hers and a friend of mine who came up, she brought up my teeth. Why, who knows, she's insane. She went on about how my teeth are ugly because I didn't wear my retainer. First of all, I got my braces off in 1979, can we not worry about this now maybe? Secondly, I have what is called an open bite. Any orthodontist will tell you that braces will correct this but in most cases that isn't permanent. The bite will go back to its old look. Its very frustrating. I am very self conscious, it adds to my whole lack of self esteem and I can't decide if I want to risk paying 7K for braces and another temporary fix. The retainer had nothing to do with it, retainers don't do anything for a bite problem anyway. Its just really bothered me and some of my friends from church also heard this. I saw one the other day and she brought it up and I wanted to die. She mentioned my sister is strange. Yeah, I know that. I just feel sort of ashamed of my teeth and my wacko sister. Dh and ds basically just left her in her tracks, standing there looking like the idiot she is, dh told me later he has never had the urge to hit anyone, least of all a woman until that night. Yeah honey, the only time I ever saw my mom lose it was because of my sister. She has that affect on people.
Now she calls me yesterday, she has totally messed up this weekend by cancelling out on taking stepdad to lunch on Father's Day as we agreed. I had decided that I wanted to give Dan his own day, so that I would have stepdad over on Saturday and then on the actual day she and nephew would take him to lunch. His son never acknowledges Father's Day. Well now stupid sister has decided she can't be bothered and she wanted to come to my house for a free meal instead. Well, I can't have stepdad all alone on Father's Day. Even though he would say no biggie and we would see him the day before, I just cannot have him alone. So the day I had planned for Dan is moot. So now I am having stepdad over on Sunday instead. Since he isn't a Narnia fan, that nixes taking Dan and the kids to the movie and out to lunch, stepdad prefers to eat at home. Which is fine. I told my stupid sister I was changing to Sunday and she could jolly well take stepdad out someplace on Saturday but that she wasn't coming to my house on Sunday. This really sort of backfired on her. She even threw in that her MS is acting up, I should give her the benefit of the doubt but I find it interesting that anytime she's not getting her own way, her MS suddenly appears.
Then fast forward to this morning. A friend of mine called and during our conversation she mentions she has seen a former group of friends of mine at her neighborhood pool. Now I may have mentioned, I had some friends and due to some weird stuff, I basically sort of got dropped and just sort of ended up divorcing them from my life. The one had been my best friend since sixth grade. It was a strange situation. We all live in the same general area and this other friend of mine (the current one who called me today) lives in the same neighborhood the others do. What a cozy world. Anywy, she told me about how she sat and chatted with them, my name never came up (why would it?), the one's husband flirted with her the whole time and I am sitting there thinking, "why are you telling me this?" She knows this can still be sore spot with me and its one of those things, I'd never find about if she didn't tell me. If my head hadn't already been hurting, it would have been by the time that call was over. I love my friend but when she does things like this, I have to wonder does she love me too? She also talked about how fat my former friend is which hurt because not only do I not appreciate her talking about my old friend that way (hey I still care and don't like hearing people make fun of her) and also I am fat too, so how am I supposed to react to that. It just felt weird. And I am feeling upset today anyway due to this stuff with my sister.
Every since my sister's teeth speech at church, I have been researching open bites trying to find a solution. It depresses me. The whole time in WDW, I felt like the whole world is looking at my mouth. Dh says its not noticeable, of course he is trying to be nice. But now I think, does the whole world look at me and after they finish looking at my lard, do they then think, omg that woman has the ugliest mouth I"ve ever seen. The web article said people with open bites will develop lisps as the problem worsens. Great, now I'll someday sound like Cindy Brady. Wont' that be cute.
If I can get this headache gone, I'll feel better. I might add, people with open bites suffer greatly from headaches. I am 43 and should be mature enough to not let this sort of thing bother me. And I miss my mom, yesterday was the five month anniversary of her death and her birthday is coming up. So as you can see, I am a bundle of laughs today.
I just need to get on the treadmill, headache or not and maybe that will help. I also need to finish unpacking, I have had suitcases sitting in the bedroom since Sunday and only unpacked half of them.
Sorry to rant, I just needed to get that off my chest. If you are still reading, thanks, I am not as whiney and dumb as I sound.