Thank you Tracy, Jennifer and Jamie.
I weighed in on Wednesday, just at home however. The field trip ran over and by the time I got to Weight Watchers, it was closed. But according to my scale, the two pounds I gained the week before was gone. Hope my scale is telling the truth. Food has been good yesterday and today but on Wednesday night I ate chicken wings and beer. Not good choices at all. So I plowed through more than a few flex points with that meal.
My parents are at my brothers right now. Its good for them and for me, I was ready for a break. Brother thought my mom didn't look as good as the last visit which is not surprising given this latest development. My sister doesn't know yet, and I don't think I'll tell her. In a sense, she won't win with me, she'll either be her usual non caring self which will irritate me or if she is nice, that will just make me wonder what she's up to. So I think I"ll backburner dealing with that for now. She knows my mom had the scan so its really up to her to call and see what the results were.
DD and I watched some old videos yesterday. She had remarked that her friend's grandmother is so nice and fun, always doing fun things with her grandkids. She said she wished she had a grandma like that. I felt bad and then remembered that our old home movies would tell dd she did have a good grandma. I went back and found her 4th birthday video, taken one year before my mom got sick. It was amazing. I had forgotten how beautiful my mom used to be, how full of life and how funny she was! She had me and dd in stitches years later with her fun loving antics. It was so good for my dd to see her grammy picking up her up, playing with her, heping me with the cooking and party. All things she never does anymore. She just pretty much sits on the couch at all of family functions without taking much part in them. And she sang at one point, something my dd cannot remember either. My mom always had a lovely voice, sang in the choir etc. The chemo burned her throat, she can't carry a tune at all now. So it was really fun for my daughter to see all of that and remember she has a good grandma, just one that is burdened down by some hard knocks. And later I had a really good, long overdue cry fest. I pretty much cried about anything and everything since the disco era! I also realized that my mom would absolutely hate being this way. She does hate it and if she was in her right mind she'd hate it a lot worse. I told my brother somehow we need to find a balance with doing what we can through this new situation with the cancer without making her worse in mind and soul. And not letting some doctor call the shots. I know what my mom wants and while I am not pulling the plug so to speak, I am not going to let her become some medical experiment for some doctor to pull off only so that she can live a very dark existance. No radical treatments that will just wipe her out even more. She's almost 72 years old and frankly she is miserable. The last time I brought this sort of subject up with the doctor she told me she thinks of each patient as a learning experience for the next patient. All fine and good in theory but I am not even sure my mom can survive much in the way of chemo or surgery. A friend told me to get a second opinion before they do anything. No easy answers but brother and stepdad are on the same page (and my sister was too last time we discussed the issue of "what are we going to do when this cancer comes back again") and we just need to pull together and do right by my mom. I actually feel a lot better. And while I have been mulling all of this over, I have been spring cleaning so thats good. Better to attack the dirt and clutter than eat myself silly.
I really, really, really need to get on an exercise regimen again. I am proud for sticking with good eating habits for the most part this past week but know that I need to get back into gear with my activity. I think Jennifer is right, it will help with the stress too.
Thanks for reading and all your good thoughts and wishes. Hope everyone has a great weekend.
Amy,
Don't worry sweetie: The exercise will come. Just take a few baby steps each day... Maybe a 10 minute walk or do some exercises during commercials.
Was it about the dining plan? Some of the threads on the boards have had a tendency to get weird lately..... Must be something in the air. 
Hope all is well....Did you have a nice visit with you mom yesterday?
What a blessing to have the video to show your DD!
I bet you were so excited. 30lbs is a huge accomplishment, and you are still plugging along! I think you'll meet your pre-trip goal, and if not, you will definitely be VERY close!
I hope you get the sunny and warm weather that they are predicting for the weekend.
