Am I wrong to do this?

[baby1disney]

OK, I've gotten alot of flack for this but I need some other opinions about this: My DF and I are seriously thinking about having an adult reception only because we want it to be a night of relaxation for everyone that comes. The only kids that will be there will be the ones in the wedding party.

Are we wrong to do that? We just thought since we're having a beach themed wedding, it would be nice for some couples to have a romantic date out. I mean I work as a banquet server and kids are always running all over the place and the parents can't enjoy themselves. Plus, we just want a night of partying and enjoying ourselves and friends and family.

So,PLEASE help me with this decision.

 

[lurkyloo]

I hear ya! This is totally what I want to do, but I know that a lot of people have trouble with the idea. One thing that you might do to soften the blow is provide a sitter in one of the hotel rooms for all the kids, or send them to one of the hotels' childcare programs. That way your guests wouldn't have the burden of figuring out what to do with their kids.

 

[Gradar1]

Have you thought of having a separate kid's party, in another room, nearby? They could have food of their own, coloring books, a movie, and that way they could still be near their parents if they needed them.

 

[sajilunni]

We had an adult reception for our wedding 9 years ago. If you make that decision you need to feel completely comfortable with the consequences. You have to be at peace with the fact that it might be controversial, and that some invitees feel offended by the very idea. There might be invitees who choose not to come to your wedding at all because of that condition. You need to be okay with that and not feel offended by that choice on their part. Now we have 3 kids and refuse to go to adult receptions. I totally don't mind that bridess choose to have adult receptions (after all I did), but at the same time I don't want to get any flack for not attending. I always write on the RSVP card that I will be wishing them a great wedding and thinking about them on their wedding day. I do get annoyed by follow-up calls asking why I can't just hire a babysitter. I feel if I respect their choices as a bride, they should respect my choices as a parent.

The fact is that not having children attend WILL make it a more elegant evening, if that is the atmosphere you want to create, then that is your right to do so. Some brides feel having kids attend makes it a more fun atmosphere, and that's what their attracted to. Each choice is an individual choice and a right choice for that particular couple. The guests need to respect the couples choice, and the couple needs to respect the guests choice.

Good luck!
Jil

 

[Skylarr29]

I feel that is totally fine with the exception of the children from the bridal party attending. I think if someone went through a lot of trouble to hire a sitter or make arrangements to not bring their child and then there was children there, even if only a handful, that would cause some issues. I think having a separate kids party is a great idea or kids night out will watch them in a room. If you don't have a kids party then you shoudl research the options for child care and include it in a slip with your invites. Good luck

 

[mystiichell]

I don't think you are wrong but maybe instead of telling the parents thier children are not invited you could have something special planned for them - a kids pary like Gradar1 suggested - you could even make the kids a seperate invitation & include it with the actual invitations when you mail them - The parents might think of it more as you planning something special for the kids instead of you not wanting them there - all about presentation - hope this helps

 

[baby1disney]

I appreciate everyone's opinion but I think by me having a seperate kids thing is defeating the whole purpose of no kids. I mean if the parents want to have a good night out, they can't even if their kids are in a seperate room.

I understand that there will be some people who probably won't come because of this, but I want my guests to feel relaxed and enjoy themselves.

Maybe I'll talk to my DF about this and see what he says. But, please keep those comments coming!!

 

[luv4mylittleones]

I totally understand your reasoning behind wanting to have an adult only reception but I agree with lurkyloo, maybe you should provide childcare. It is a Disney Wedding after all and well..frankly, it's just kind of rude. It's not any different than asking your best friend to come and telling her she can't bring her husband... JMHO...

 

[Emwit27]

One of the things I learned from all of my wedding drama is that the wedding is all about you and what YOU want. Now, there will be others who disagree and believe you should accommodate your guests as much as possible. Well, I can tell you from experience that no matter what you cannot please everyone. If you tell your guests upfront that this is an adult only event they shouldn't complain. You have every right to have the reception you want. You seem aware of the fact that you may lose guests. As long as you are aware then it should be fine. It's your day. It's your time to be a little selfish...I know I was when chosing to have a Disney wedding in the first place.
Just my two cents. GL with your decision.

 

[Lynn5700]

I agree with everybody. I really think that you should have a seperate party for the kids. Parents will still be able to enjoy themselves,and even if the kids are at the reception I think that the parents will enjoy themselves.

I think it is hard for you to not to have the kid party because parents are going to want to bring thier kids to Disney.

How many children at the most would be at the reception? What are the age groups?

 

[Tigger]

I don't think there is anything wrong with not including kids. We have decided not to include kids under the age of 13. We are also not having kids in the bridal party. We did not want younger kids at our ceremony/reception but I don't feel that we can tell one kid they can't come while their older sibling is allowed. So we uped the age limit.

The first time we said anything about it we got strange looks since we are having a Disney wedding. We live 5 miles behind the MK so for us it's also just a local venue. Many of the adults that now have kids had adult-only weddings. I don't feel they have any room to talk about wanting an adult-only wedding. I will respect those who decide not to come, although so far that's not happening. We are going to allow the families with kids to use one of the BCV rooms my family is staying in. They will have to pay for the actual babysitter. We are also going to give the kids their own welcome-type bag but with things that will keep them entertained. Since the BCV has a DVD player we will let them use all of our Disney movies and we are going to take our board games over. We are lucky enough to be local to be able to do this, we can't afford to do a separate kids party for them. Later that night the kids will be able to join the rest of us for the DP.

Good luck with the decision! It seems to be a tricky topic for many.

 

[Bob NC]

For an at home wedding I think that's a great idea. If, however, you invite my family to spend tons of $$$ and go hundreds of miles for a destination wedding, I'd be a little ticked if my whole family is not invited.

Just my personal opinion.

 

[snubie]

You also need to be prepared for the consequences.

If my family were invited to a wedding at WDW and were told that our DD could not attend, then we would not go at all. I do not feel comfortable leaving DD with a stranger/babysitter in a hotel room. I would however feel comfortable if she were in the next room from the wedding at a supervised kids party.

Actually, this very subject has come up recently in our lives. We are invited to a wedding 2 hours away and DD is not invited. My whole family is going except us. We will not be going because we do not have a babysitter in this place and I won't leave her with a stranger so far from home.

 

[myprincessgirlisa]

go for it

i think its really sweet that you want it to be a romantic break for the adults...thats really considerate of you

Some people will whine, but you cant please them all...stick to your guns & have a fabulous wedding

FYI...although mine was an intitmate....no kids were at mine

 

[EllaDisney]

Well although I sort of understand where you are coming from, I personally would be pretty insulted if someone would invite me, but not my daughter. Not everyone wants to have someone tell them to get a babysitter for their kids. I know that I wouldn't.
If my 3 year old wasn't invited, I just wouldn't go.

 

[Swmhc]

It is not "cheap" but most of the resorts do offer babysitting. When we were at Disney a couple years ago (my DD was 9 or 10), she and my DF just kept butting heads and she was just acting like a brat, so we arranged for her to go to the child care center (it had a Peter Pan theme) for an everning and it was really cool. She was older than the other kids there, so that upset her some, but they had "kid food" for dinner and snacks, movies, craft activities, etc... She came home with pictures they had made, a pirate ring and some other fun stuff. If we were doing a formal event without children, I would look into trying to book one of the closest venues in advance. The parents get a pager so the staff can contact you in case of emergency etc... The facility was decorated just like the Darling children's nursery. It was really neat. Well worth the money as it gave us time as adults to destress and do what we wanted for an evening.

 

[Ember]

I don't think it's a problem. Were it any place other then Disney I wouldn't worry about providing a sitter. But expecting parents to go to Disney World without their little ones in tow is expecting a lot, so I think providing a sitter is a great idea. If you're worried about it spoiling the atmosphere then have the sitter at a separate location (down the hall, or in a room at the nearest hotel). I'm not a parent, but asking for a night out without the kids isn't asking for too much I don't think.

 

[Malibelle]

When we were planning our wedding we initially decided to not have kids, only those kids in the wedding party. As time went by we changed our minds because there were several people who were bringing their kids to Disney. We had about 12 kida and believe me they did thier own think, it was a very enjoyable time. Although one of the girls fell down the step and the EMT showed up at the reception but I didn't even notice until they were about to leave what had happed, she sprained her ankle. We had 100 people so the kids kind of got lost in the crowed and thier parents had a great time. We are glad we made the decision to invitet the kids, whem Mickey and Minnie showed up the faces on the kids were priceless.

 

[Laurafoster]

I feel that is totally fine with the exception of the children from the bridal party attending. I think if someone went through a lot of trouble to hire a sitter or make arrangements to not bring their child and then there was children there, even if only a handful, that would cause some issues.

I agree, if it were me i would have no problem with an Adults only reception, but i think if i had travelled all the way to Disney and had to arrange a babysitter for my kids and then there were other kids at the reception i would feel a bit miffed.

I appreciate everyone's opinion but I think by me having a seperate kids thing is defeating the whole purpose of no kids. I mean if the parents want to have a good night out, they can't even if their kids are in a seperate room.

I think even if the kids are in a seperate room with someone supervising them then the parents are going to be able to have just as good a time than if they were at the wedding and the kids were back at the room with a babysitter - not alot of difference really.

 

[MistressOfAllEvil]

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