Am I the only "mean" mom during the summer?

[Mom21]

Until this past year I homeschooled 9yodd, so we would school year round and take off time as appropriate. Well she went to 3rd grade this year. Imagine her surprise when I handed her work to do daily during the summer.

Here is what I require:
1 page of grammar
1 page of math
1 page of a punctuation/grammar review
3 days a week a short page of reading comprehension questions
20 minutes of piano
30 minutes of reading

Honestly looking at 1 hour, maybe 1 hour 10 minutes on a bad day. She also has to empty the dishwasher in the morning (OH WOE IS ME!!! DRAMA!! DRAMA!! ). She makes her bed daily, hangs her laundry which is about 1-2 times a week depending on how often I wash, and is required to do a daily pickup of her room and playroom---oh that is a killer and resulted in hysterics in the floor tonight. She was actually holding her head between her hands and screaming about how she "only has 2 hands. How can you make me do so much." And no she wasn't kidding. It was an actual meltdown. Yes, she is 9 not 3.

On days she doesn't have a scheduled physical activity (cheer, tennis) she must walk on the treadmill for 15 minutes--usually only 2-3 days a week.

So is she right? Is she the only child abused in this manner? Do I work her like a slave? Does every other child get to spend all of their day how they want...which in her case would be whining about how bored she is......HAHA

 

[Barb D]

I have, at various times, tried to get my kids to do schoolwork in the summer (especially when we homeschooled) but now I just let them enjoy their summers. The one rule I did make for my older kids is that they can't watch mindless TV (no "Full House" reruns, etc.) They do swim team, read, play outside, go to a few camps (football for DS14, volleyball and orchestra for DD12)...but no "formal" schoolwork. It works for us; I think they need the time to decompress.

 

[robertsmom]

I have, at various times, tried to get my kids to do schoolwork in the summer (especially when we homeschooled) but now I just let them enjoy their summers. The one rule I did make for my older kids is that they can't watch mindless TV (no "Full House" reruns, etc.) They do swim team, read, play outside, go to a few camps (football for DS14, volleyball and orchestra for DD12)...but no "formal" schoolwork. It works for us; I think they need the time to decompress.

I have to agree. My son has ADHD and school is a struggle for him as it is. Summer is his time to relax. He does do summer reading club at our library (30 minutes of reading a day), but for the most part, he spends his days playing (usually outside) with his cousins.

 

[Toby'sFriend]

well quite honestly it sounds like an awful lot of drudgery.

My kids do a ton of educational things over the summer, but I'm not going to sit them down with grammar review worksheets unless they have shown a deficiency in grammar in school.

And walking on the treadmill? Is there nowhere outside for the girl to run and play, do hopscotch, and ride a bike?

 

[Cass]

I'm mean all year round - not just in the summer.

 

[milkabum]

9 y/o's on the treadmill, I am so glad to have a fair mom. I'm already stuck with homework during school, so there isn't a point in the summer. I also get good grades (Dude, my French teacher said that I should get an A+ in reading, writing, and oral communication!). I also take swimming classes, and bike, swim, and play a variety of sports with the neighbourhood kids. My dog also keeps me busy too.

However, I do agree with your methods. Fundamentals are the building blocks of fun!
I don't think you should use the word 'abuse', because you are just doing what is best - preparing her for when she is an adult.

 

[N.Bailey]

While I don't do all that the OP does, I do require much more reading than she does.

We'll work on some things that I feel they could have grasped better during the school year, especially math.

Other than that, it's their free time. We do have rules in the house though, if my children don't do assigned chores WITHOUT being told daily they have 24 hours to hand me a report on the topic of my choice, with bibliography so I can see that they didn't cut and paste. Their chores? My son takes out trash, my daughter dusts the tables in the living room. They're not required to do much, but these are their responsibility. They're also responsible for their own bedrooms and the basement as it's their hang out spot. I have no problems with the basement as all their friends help to keep it clean so they're able to hang out here all the time.

 

[Mom21]

Wow. I was kinda making a joke. Guess I am meaner than I thought. Honestly the piano and reading aren't an option ( and weren't during the school year either) , so the only thing optional is the 10-15 minutes of workbooks for grammar and math. As far as the treadmill, she is a bit overweight and her nutritionist and dr have suggested that. They actually said 5 days a week. She is extremely active: 3 days a week cheer, one day tennis, 1-3 days golf; we ride bikes often; we have a basketball goal and have fun after dinner; we swim every day. She just likes to eat, so I am much nicer than her doctor wants me to be. We never stop and she rarely watches TV so no lectures on that please.

 

[JayCT]

Mom21 - Of course how you raise your child is your business, but since you asked...

Why can't you let your child have the summer off like most kids? The chores aren't bad (also neither is the reading) but it does sound like a lot of "school work" to do every day over the summer. She is only a kid afterall and it sounds like you are a bit driven. I had a friend who parents did the same thing to him and he ended up rebelling when he got older. As soon as he was old enough he left home and dropped out of school. He never lived up to his potential. He was brillant and is now a factory worker. I am certain his life would have been totally different if his parents lightened up. Very sad.

With my kids, we "bribe" then to do workbooks over the summer. We "pay" them with special treats like a trip to a major league baseball game. Works okay for us and it helps keep them up on their school work. They have good grades and that is all we ask of them. JMHO, Jay

 

[diznygirl]

We set the timer to clean - playing "Beat the Clock." It only takes 5 minutes to pick up all the toys in the living room. And the work we do over the summer is fun stuff - logic puzzles and stuff that require the same types of skills (reading, writing, math, problem solving and even geography) but aren't just worksheets that he is required to sit still for. We got these from Scholastic.

Maybe you can find a way to make the school work more fun for her.

(Edited cuz we posted at the same time)

 

[poohandwendy]

That is far more structure than I feel is necessary for my kids during the summer months. (although mine do have daily requirements, cleaning their rooms, other household chores...nothing as regimented as you are portraying) But hey, your kid...your call.

I really don't buy into the nice/mean parent classifications. I make my decisions based on what I think is important, it has nothing to do with being nice or mean. (I only mention your wording because you mentioned those terms a few times)

 

[NAB]

I don't think you are being that mean. You home school and take other time off. House chores are that .Every kids has them or should. Just as long as she does have free time to do what she wants I don't see the problem. If you don't here I am bored every few minutes in the summer I want to be you.
I think the treadmill is a good idea if she doesn't mind it. I wish my mother would have done this so I learn at an early age to excerise daily so it is'nt a chore to get my self to do it. Our neighbour who is in there 40's said it is easy to excerise everyday because that is what she had to do as a child and doesn't find it a chore is it something that she always did.

 

[slo]

Mom21 - I am right there with you!!!

I bought a great kit from my DD's school that has a couple of work pages a day and a learning computer program for her to play with I also bought her a couple of other work books, and told her she's going to have spelling words every week and a test just like during school I told her we are playing school and she's pretty excited about it

She also has chores to do. She has to make her bed every day, keep her room clean and put her folded laundry away. I'm going to add a couple of more chores during the summer so she can earn Disney Dollars for our vacation in Sept.

 

[soccerfreak_08]

Mom doesn't make us do quite that much. We help out with laundry and dishes and help pick up/clean when necessary. Then we are pretty much free. If we complain we are bored though then she picks some unpleasant task for us to do. I have always self entertained but my 9 yo sister told mom she was bored. Mom gave her two ziploc bags, one for her hand and one to put things in, and made her pick up dog poo from my aunt's yard.(she has a golden retriever) Needless to say no one in this house has ever said the word bored again. lol

 

[shortbun]

what's with the treadmill thing? Isn't a 9 yo naturally active? Why not take her swimming or on a walk or let her go out and play? Remember 'going out to play?' Don't kids do that anymore? My mother never worried about my physical activity, I fell into bed tired with dirty feet almost every summer day. We did our chores early and then RAN out the door before Mom could think of anything else we had to do. That's the way my son's summer goes too. He reads every night. He has cursive practice 2x weekly. His math is worked into our daily lives-he checks the grocery receipt, he helps me track the mileage my van gets, he figures out how long it's going to take to get places based on time and speed, he makes my grocery lists and we both journal sharing the funny and sometimes disappointing moments in our day. Grammar? Daily conversation and interraction take good care of that. We play Scrabble, Apples to Apples, Sets, Chess and other fun strategic and mind working games. Why make your child's learning such drudgery? I'd be on the floor screaming and crying if my life was looking so regimented and boring at age 9 too! How about Drama and Music and Dancing? Why not schedule a time to put on wild and fun music so the whole family can dance as if no one is watching?! We do it here. It's wonderful excersize. Beats the treadmill by a long shot. Children need to be children. Get creative!

 

[Planogirl]

My son is very active and worked very hard in school. Plus he loves to read a lot. So I've backed off of him at least for a while. I'm just letting him goof off for now.

 

[sap1227]

Here is what I require:
1 page of grammar
1 page of math
1 page of a punctuation/grammar review
3 days a week a short page of reading comprehension questions
20 minutes of piano
30 minutes of reading

Honestly looking at 1 hour, maybe 1 hour 10 minutes on a bad day.

I agree--your child your call, but I think you are underestimating how long this stuff takes. You say an hour and 10 mins most, but there is 50 mins of piano and reading--I doubt the other stuff can be done in 20 mins???

My kids are younger, so I don't know for sure, but it seems like there could be some "funner" ways to keep her skills up during the summer.

I think the household chores are totally reasonable.

Could she maybe do Math on Mondays, Grammer on Tuesdays, Reading Comp on Wednesdays, punctuation/grammar on Thursdays and Fridays off.

You could make a deal, whenever she complains that she is bored she gets a worksheet

Christy

 

[ktpool]

My kids have increased responsibilites this summer, since they are at home with a teenage babysitter - the rule is the house has to look at least as clean as it did when I left (kids are 6 and 9).

But, I am having my kindergartener read to me a little a few times a week. But there are no structured assignments - I also want to have my kids experience the carefree summers I did as a child. They are under so much pressure during school. They can enjoy the pool and tball during the summer. I might feel differently, I suppose, if my kids struggled in school at all.

But, as another mom said, your kids, your call!

 

[Mom21]

I agree--your child your call, but I think you are underestimating how long this stuff takes. You say an hour and 10 mins most, but there is 50 mins of piano and reading--I doubt the other stuff can be done in 20 mins???
Christy

Well she just asked me as I was writing this thread what grammar she had to do for the week. I told her. She was back 10 minutes later with it all done. So her grammar for the week was done in 10 minutes. HHHHUMMMMM maybe as a mean mom for a reward for finishing the weeks work already i will add more......LOL. Just kidding. She is done with grammar for the week in 10 minutes, so i don't think she is overworked. Amazing how much they can get done when they want to. She is going to Vacation Bible school this week (she is a counselor for cheer) so wanted more free time.

 

[lisajl]

Our public school send home packets for the kids to do during the summer.
If you bring it back, you get a "prize". Usually a jolly rancher or some other sort of candy.