Am I selfish, or just sane?

[frannn]

I know this won't seem like such a big deal, but it is bugging me. I'm wondering if I'm just selfish or if I'm right about being upset. Yesterday my SIL called to ask my husband a "favor". Her son (DH's nephew) is a troubled teen who is out of work now, but wanted to get his girlfriend a gift. SIL was going to buy it for DS to give it to his girlfriend, cause the girlfriend has been very helpful in keeping DS out of trouble. The thing DS wanted to order is the one of the valentine plush from DS.com, so SIL was going to put it on her credit card for him to pay her back. She didn't have enough room on her card when she told us about it, though, so she was waiting. She later called to ask DH to buy it (for the girlfriend) and have it sent to the DS house for him to give it to her. Because they waited this long it's an extra 18. delivery fee, which doubles the price of the gift, and the $ we have to pay. Apparently, SIL feels DS will not be happy if she buys it cause it will be "from mommy" and thinks if DH buys it, DS can pay back or wash car, whatever. Why can't DS or SIL go to Disney Store and buy a V day gift at 50% off now instead of having this whole scenario to pay 2X as much for a Vday pooh (not personalized) that he's not even having sent to GF's house? Sounds to me that its just so we can buy it instead of them. Not a lot of $, just the principle. I know they have some $ cause they make as much or more than us and are planning a WDW trip. Even if they didn't, I feel the request was innapropriate. Am I wrong? DH has no problem with this and bought it. Sorry for the novel!

 

[The Mystery Machine]

You are sane.

 

[aahmom1]

It's never a good idea to teach a child it's ok to buy something when you have no money.

 

[Serena]

Oh please! SIL is crazy, you are not.

 

[vald1977]

I think your feelings are justified. How will the nephew ever learn that he needs a job, responsibility, etc. if things are just taken care of for him? Also, it should not be up to your dh to be the one to do this. If the mom feels strongly that she should do this for her son, then she should do it and not bring in others. So to answer your question, I would say you are sane !

 

[robinb]

You're sane.

The reason why they didn't go to the TDS is because her CC is maxed out and she needed to "borrow" money from your DH to buy it. Now that this is a fait accompli and the bear bought I would make sure your DH holds his nephew to working off the $36 bear. A single car wash wouldn't cut it for me.

 

[gemmie214]

You are very sane and we have the same SIL

 

[Disney Doll]

You are sane. I can understand your SIL wanting to get the girlfriend a "thank you" gift, if the girlfriend's been a positive influence in her son's life. But then she should have bought the girlfriend a gift from herself (and her DH if he's in the picture), and let her own son figure out his own Valentine's Day gift problem.

Sometimes parents are their children's own worst enemies, without meaning to be.

 

[smileybrat]

you're sane. if he can't afford the plush, he should buy something he can. you shouldn't have even be dragged into the situation.