Am I Overreacting?

[dreamsdidcometrue]

Ok, so I am pasting a post below that I put in my PJ yesterday. I am re-posting here because I really need some feedback on if I am overreacting or not and I wasn't sure if anyone would see it in my PJ.

Ok, so in the post I just replied to Michelle on, I said I was excited, which I am. However, I think I am having my first mini freak out. So, here it goes...

I have been emailing my contact at Disney at the beginning of each month to see if we were offered a date yet. Apparently, the DFTW people have to send a request to the MK for the ceremony site. I was under the impression that since it was a wishes wedding I could request 12 months in advance which gives me plenty of time to plan. Although this is true, there is a caveat to that...my contact has now told me that it is usually closer to the 6 month mark that you actually receive the date He said he had already told me this but I just don't remember that conversation at all This is making me really nervous I had given the contact a date range of October 2012-April 2013. When we first looked at dates he had told me we were rejected for October-December, which I was not shocked about since those are busy months for Disney. The most recent email said it could be as close as 6 months before that we would find out but never said we were rejected for February. So I am not sure if we are rejected for February or just don't know yet? Does anyone know how this works? I had thought from the beginning that it would be February, number 1 because that is one of the slowest months in Disney and number 2 because I just had a gut feeling about it (which I have learned I should trust).

I am a very planned out person, not just with events but also in my everyday life. I feel like 6 months is not very long to plan a wedding in another state where a least half of the people attending have to make travel plans. I have to have time to fly down for my planning session. Since I am a Nursing Professor I can really only take off when there are scheduled breaks. Am I just being overly neurotic? Even if I am now I am feeling like I need to figure out what I can do now so I at least have some things done.

I have a dress and have picked the BM's dresses. I have ordered the passporters dis wedding book (waiting for it to arrive). I thought I had a venue picked out for the reception, CG, which is perfect for me It fits my theme because it has the view of the castle, it is modern which I love, and the decor matches my colors. Now I saw on a thread that they are probably closing it down for repair and it might be shut down for a year or more So, now what do I do? Should I take that post seriously and come up with a backup plan or just hope that's not true and deal with it if it happens? I was planning on making my invites by hand since I only need like 15ish, but I can't exactly do that since I don't even have a date. But now I'm worried that hand making them will be too much stress since I will only have 6 months to do everything. Is there anything else I can do ahead of time? Someone please HELP

 

[sambycat]

I don't think you ate overreacting. Unfortunately some of these peculiarities are part and parcel of the DFTW experience. Every contract further has lots of legal wiggle room if they needed it as well. I think the confirmation time lines are loony tunes for destination weddings especially.

Unfortunately, none of this helps you! My main concern would be the time frame they change really confirm especially if you are dependent on school vacation. With a "smaller" guest list, it should be easier to keep people apprised of plans but is this a matter of the wedding being on a certain day of a particular week or is it even more up in the air?

It's tough. The parks are going to come before any individual's wedding bottom line but gosh we pay a premium to get married there! For me, if I weren't Abe to be flexible I would change my plans now and use the MK budget to bring more pizazz to something I can count on better. Or I would get Xanax and get married at MK!

Just my two cents!

 

[lurkyloo]

I totally understand the need to know this stuff so you can plan, but, unfortunately, park venues are controlled by the park, not by DFTW, so there is nothing they can do until they hear from the park management.

We planned our Wishes wedding from the other side of the country in just under 5 months and never felt pressured or rushed. All of our guests had to travel, and all were able to make arrangements on that much notice (in fact, some waited til the absolute last second and still were fine!).

If it helps, technically wedding invitations aren't sent out until 6 weeks beforehand (local) or 2–3 months beforehand (destination), so you don't have to worry about those yet. Of course, you're going to want to send out Save the Date cards much sooner than that, so it would totally be great if Disney could at least give you a ballpark idea of when your ceremony can be.

I don't see any harm in emailing your consultant to clarify about February.

 

[dreamsdidcometrue]

I don't think you ate overreacting. Unfortunately some of these peculiarities are part and parcel of the DFTW experience. Every contract further has lots of legal wiggle room if they needed it as well. I think the confirmation time lines are loony tunes for destination weddings especially.

Unfortunately, none of this helps you! My main concern would be the time frame they change really confirm especially if you are dependent on school vacation. With a "smaller" guest list, it should be easier to keep people apprised of plans but is this a matter of the wedding being on a certain day of a particular week or is it even more up in the air?

It's tough. The parks are going to come before any individual's wedding bottom line but gosh we pay a premium to get married there! For me, if I weren't Abe to be flexible I would change my plans now and use the MK budget to bring more pizazz to something I can count on better. Or I would get Xanax and get married at MK!

Just my two cents!

Ok, I was probably not clear about how I phrased things. I can do any day for the actual wedding. I have already spoke with other instructors who have agreed to cover my classes/clinical for the actual wedding. But don't I also have to go for a planning session? This is what I am worried about. If I don't even find out until 6 months before it may be hard to get down there for that. Sorry if I worded that in a confusing way, I am just stressing!

 

[sambycat]

Ok, it's the PS timing that is more worrisome? the PS info shouldnt affect anything guest wise and can be done over the phone if need be

 

[dreamsdidcometrue]

Thanks to both of you for the feedback! It makes me feel better to know that I am not overreacting. In the end I feel like it is worth it because it is important to me. I guess it is just hard to have imagined this fairytale wedding and then when it comes down to it you have all these rules to follow. It just takes some of the magic out of it, ya know.

I could email again to clarify but I already did twice and he just said that Disney has all these rules to keep things running smoothly and I basically have to just wait. So, wait I will and in the meantime maybe try out some Xanax

 

[Jilian]

I'd be annoyed too. Most people here send out STDs closer to the year mark and invites closer to the 6 month mark. So not having a date until close to the 6 month mark is tricky. Maybe just draft up the invites and have them all set but leave the date part blank, then once you get your date you can get them out quickly. It would be cool if they'd at least give you a ballpark, like a month range. Then you could send out STDs with info that the ceremony will be some time in X month. They've got to understand that you're planning a wedding. Sadly it seems like Disney doesn't care so much. I'd be most worried about the date changing once it is set. Look over your contract carefully and see what it says about that, Disney tends to change park stuff all the time (MK shoots) and their contracts cover them from being held liable.

 

[izzie-wizzie]

Thanks to both of you for the feedback! It makes me feel better to know that I am not overreacting. In the end I feel like it is worth it because it is important to me. I guess it is just hard to have imagined this fairytale wedding and then when it comes down to it you have all these rules to follow. It just takes some of the magic out of it, ya know.

I could email again to clarify but I already did twice and he just said that Disney has all these rules to keep things running smoothly and I basically have to just wait. So, wait I will and in the meantime maybe try out some Xanax

Shame - it is frustrating not knowing when your wedding date will be, especially if you would just like it booked, signed and confirmed so you can get on with things - but of course there is all the park side of things / dftw things to compete with - especially for such a special location!!

Just take it a day at a time and focus on things you can do just now, and work out things that you think you will want from Disney too when the time does come, lots you can do before the 6 month mark

I know at times when your stressed it feels like some of the magic is gone - but really that won't be the case on your wedding day, all of the extra work will have been worth it but the stress will be forgotten and you will be enjoying the most magical day of your life

 

[DixieBelle]

I would be in a total freakout!! mode if I had to wait that close to the wedding to know the date. Six months is a lot of time for many things, but people have to make arrangements at work.
Epcot was a lot easier. We called, they offered a few choices and we picked. Everything decided.
I really hope everything works out for you!

 

[NoOrdinaryPrincess]

Ok, I was probably not clear about how I phrased things. I can do any day for the actual wedding. I have already spoke with other instructors who have agreed to cover my classes/clinical for the actual wedding. But don't I also have to go for a planning session? This is what I am worried about. If I don't even find out until 6 months before it may be hard to get down there for that. Sorry if I worded that in a confusing way, I am just stressing!

I'm *pretty* sure (not 100% positive) that you can have your PS prior to 6 months out if you have an extenuating circumstance (the example I am thinking of involved a spouse who had to go on military deployment), you just can't get your BEO prior to 6 months before your wedding because prices aren't guaranteed until then.

I would ask your planner about going ahead and scheduling a PS within the range of time they expect your wedding to be, and if it happens to be too early to receive your BEO, they'll just wait to send it to you. That way you know when you can schedule your classes.

 

[dreamsdidcometrue]

I'd be annoyed too. Most people here send out STDs closer to the year mark and invites closer to the 6 month mark. So not having a date until close to the 6 month mark is tricky. Maybe just draft up the invites and have them all set but leave the date part blank, then once you get your date you can get them out quickly. It would be cool if they'd at least give you a ballpark, like a month range. Then you could send out STDs with info that the ceremony will be some time in X month. They've got to understand that you're planning a wedding. Sadly it seems like Disney doesn't care so much. I'd be most worried about the date changing once it is set. Look over your contract carefully and see what it says about that, Disney tends to change park stuff all the time (MK shoots) and their contracts cover them from being held liable.

That's a good idea! I think I will run with that, I can just do everything but the printing on the invitation and RSVP card and then have it ready to go when I get the date.

On the flip side, now I am paranoid about the date being changed! I didn't know they could do that I would hope they wouldn't just change the date of my wedding That is just crazy!

 

[dreamsdidcometrue]

Shame - it is frustrating not knowing when your wedding date will be, especially if you would just like it booked, signed and confirmed so you can get on with things - but of course there is all the park side of things / dftw things to compete with - especially for such a special location!!

Just take it a day at a time and focus on things you can do just now, and work out things that you think you will want from Disney too when the time does come, lots you can do before the 6 month mark

I know at times when your stressed it feels like some of the magic is gone - but really that won't be the case on your wedding day, all of the extra work will have been worth it but the stress will be forgotten and you will be enjoying the most magical day of your life

I know you are right, I have to focus on the light at the end of the tunnel

 

[dreamsdidcometrue]

I'm *pretty* sure (not 100% positive) that you can have your PS prior to 6 months out if you have an extenuating circumstance (the example I am thinking of involved a spouse who had to go on military deployment), you just can't get your BEO prior to 6 months before your wedding because prices aren't guaranteed until then.

I would ask your planner about going ahead and scheduling a PS within the range of time they expect your wedding to be, and if it happens to be too early to receive your BEO, they'll just wait to send it to you. That way you know when you can schedule your classes.

That's a good idea but I don't know if my circumstance even comes close to deployment I guess it never hurts to ask. Someone else suggested just doing my PS on the phone but I just don't think I am comfortable with that. Do they do PS on weekends? If they do I could always just fly down on a Friday evening and come back on Sunday morning. However based on what I have learned thus far, they probably don't do weekends

 

[dreamsdidcometrue]

I would be in a total freakout!! mode if I had to wait that close to the wedding to know the date. Six months is a lot of time for many things, but people have to make arrangements at work.
Epcot was a lot easier. We called, they offered a few choices and we picked. Everything decided.
I really hope everything works out for you!

Thanks I appreciate the support I agree that is one of my main concerns, people asking off work. My maid of honor is a pediatric NP and when I told her about all of this she was not happy. She is my best friend and she would do anything for me and she said she will just tell the docs she is going and they have to deal with it. However, it would have been a lot better if she had the 1 year notice I thought I was going to be able to give her. I will just have to pray that those who are supposed to be there will be able to come.