Am I overreacting?

[Jennasis]

Ok, She took the key on Friday, there was an open house on Sat. All the stuff was discovered in the home yesterday so this guy has only been living there since Sat night. "Friend" did not have a key before that and the realtor said she didn't see anything out of place sat afternoon.

The police took a report, and agreed the lock change would probably solve the problem. They talked to my dad and my neighbor. They went to friends house and spoke with her but her husband was present. She denied everything and said she did not know who the guy was in my house and said she never let anyone in. She didn't give any name or anything, I assume because her husband was present. So I still have no idea who this man is that was there. The police said it was very obvious she was not being truthful and that her husband was visibly upset. They did not arrest her or anything, but told her they would if she tries to enter again. She did not give them my key either, denied having it, so glad the locks were already changed.

My dad finished the guys laundry (I though it odd, but my dad said he didnt want to put wet clothes outside) boxed em up with the toilettries and left em on the curb with a note that the police have been notified and he will be arrested if he enters again. If the man doesn't get em, the trash truck comes Monday. The booze was actually given to the neighbor who alerted me, he is having a BBQ this weekend. I am going to send him a thank you card and a gift card for a local resteraunt.

I got an irrate screaming message on my cell at 2am about ruining my friends marriage. I was asleep at the time. But obviously I ruined her marrriage eh? Her husband left several messages as well wanting to know what happened because she isn't talking she denied everything. I am not sure if I should call him back or not, I feel bad for the guy. I really want to call him but know it is going to be ugly.

In order for me to check on the home, it would be a 36 hour drive or a flight so she figured she would never get caught. I am glad she did. I am sure the utilities and everything were used plenty, but only for a couple of days and I am thankful my neighbor emailed me so quickly.

Oh honey, you KNOW you didn't ruin her marriage. She did that ALL BY HERSELF. If she was "innocent" her marriage would be peachy keen.

She was cheating on her husband and got caught through her own sheer hubris. Thank goodness you figured out her angle and now her DH knows the truth too.

Stay strong.

 

[Rafiki31]

Your neighbor is awesome, thank goodness he was around! Your "friend" is a jerk. I feel bad for her husband. What kind of guy moves into someone else's house without permission? Hopefully the changed locks will keep him out. I think it's funny your dad dried the clothes, but I get why he did it.

Knowing my dad they are probably fluffed and folded all nice too. lol.

 

[robinb]

Holy cow! Usually when someone asks "Am I overreacting?" on the DIS the answer is "yes". Not so in your case! I can't believe that your "friend" moved her "man" into your house. It warms the cockles of my heart to imagine the scene with the police and her husband on her porch . Sometimes karma acts swiftly.

 

[momof1princess]

she's got some nerve, calling you screaming about ruining her marriage, lol, after what she did! the only person who ruined her marriage was HER, and she's mad because she got caught. i wouldn't bother to call her back, but i'd certainly have a talk with her husband, and tell him what i knew. if i were in the husband's shoes, i'd speak to your neighbor, and get a description of the guy-he probably knows the boyfriend. the only ones i feel any sympathy for in this situation is you, OP, and your ex-friend's husband.

 

[sjaakie]

Are you sure this stranger was not living for a longer time in your house?
She could have done a cosmetic clean up for the open house but something tells me this is going on for longer.

 

[Rafiki31]

Are you sure this stranger was not living for a longer time in your house?
She could have done a cosmetic clean up for the open house but something tells me this is going on for longer.

She did not have access to the key before that.

 

[ForAandA]

Wow! Just wow! I am so sorry that you are going through this. Words just cannot express!

 

[sjaakie]

She did not have access to the key before that.

And just that made me think about the longer stay. I'm so sorry but this hidden key concept is as old as the world.

A hidden key is unfindable for me old miss Dementia but believe me people like your friend have nose or extra sense for such things.
I hope I'm wrong but lets wait and see.

 

[RachaelA]

Ok, She took the key on Friday, there was an open house on Sat. All the stuff was discovered in the home yesterday so this guy has only been living there since Sat night. "Friend" did not have a key before that and the realtor said she didn't see anything out of place sat afternoon.

The police took a report, and agreed the lock change would probably solve the problem. They talked to my dad and my neighbor. They went to friends house and spoke with her but her husband was present. She denied everything and said she did not know who the guy was in my house and said she never let anyone in. She didn't give any name or anything, I assume because her husband was present. So I still have no idea who this man is that was there. The police said it was very obvious she was not being truthful and that her husband was visibly upset. They did not arrest her or anything, but told her they would if she tries to enter again. She did not give them my key either, denied having it, so glad the locks were already changed.

My dad finished the guys laundry (I though it odd, but my dad said he didnt want to put wet clothes outside) boxed em up with the toilettries and left em on the curb with a note that the police have been notified and he will be arrested if he enters again. If the man doesn't get em, the trash truck comes Monday. The booze was actually given to the neighbor who alerted me, he is having a BBQ this weekend. I am going to send him a thank you card and a gift card for a local resteraunt.

I got an irrate screaming message on my cell at 2am about ruining my friends marriage. I was asleep at the time. But obviously I ruined her marrriage eh? Her husband left several messages as well wanting to know what happened because she isn't talking she denied everything. I am not sure if I should call him back or not, I feel bad for the guy. I really want to call him but know it is going to be ugly.

In order for me to check on the home, it would be a 36 hour drive or a flight so she figured she would never get caught. I am glad she did. I am sure the utilities and everything were used plenty, but only for a couple of days and I am thankful my neighbor emailed me so quickly.

Oh my goodness! This just gets crazier! Personally I'd want to call the husband back, but I'd be afraid your ex-friend would go trash the outside of your vacant house in retaliation! Plus it probably is better to just stay out.

 

[EllenFrasier]

You could call the husband back and tell him exactly what you know as the facts. That you asked his wife to open windows for the open house and close them afterwards. She saw it upon herself to make copies of the key for herself. Your neighbor saw his wife and a man enter the home carrying a case of beer. Upon inspecting the home, it was apparent that the man had been staying there - clothes in the washing machine, toiletries, unmade bed, etc. Other than that, you really do not have proof that she is having an affair.
I kind of feel sorry for the "other guy". She might have lied to him and told him it was okay for him to stay there so he's oblivious to all this going on. I hope he gets his stuff back if he is an innocent party. She could have told him that the house was hers - how would he know?

 

[ols386]

I wouldn't respond back to the ex-friend, nor would I talk to the husband. I would want to have as little to do with both of them, as possible.

 

[npmommie]

wow! just wow!!!!
I can't believe a "friend" would do this.

OP what does your husband have to say now?
he thought you were over reacting didn't he?

 

[disykat]

I'm amazed your dad gave a burgler/tresspasser back his stuff! I highly doubt this guy thought he had permission to live there. I would have taken it to a dumpster.

 

[The Mystery Machine]

I would no longer communicate with these "friends" unless I was ordered to do it legally. Would not say another word...no way.

Glad you got to the bottom of it, sorry that your friend turned out to be someone who you really did not know.

 

[RitaZ.]

I wouldn't respond back to the ex-friend, nor would I talk to the husband. I would want to have as little to do with both of them, as possible.

Absolutely. Don't get involved.

 

[OceanAnnie]

This is just unfreakingbelievable.

Yes it is. This is one of those DIS threads that you never forget. I am so sorry for what you went through, OP.

So, your ex-friend is blaming you now. She is really a piece of work. I agree with everyone. Don't talk to her again. In fact, I'd think about put a restraining order out on her. She sounds totally and completely looney tunes. I would forget I ever knew her. Wash your hands of the mess and not talk to anyone involved unless it's the police.

 

[JoiseyMom]

Worst case scenario-- you have to evict this nutjob. Seriously. Not sure what state this is in but if they have taken residency in your house- permission or not, a lot times the sherriff will make you evict them. i would tell the cops they are squatters (technically they are) and see if that will get you anywhere. What a mess. I can't belive your realtor didn't say anything to you up until this point. Has he been showing the house? I agree, thank goodness for the other neighbor. This is actually common. Your friend could've been renting out your house. Make sure there are no leases on it, etc. Make sure any damage is documented, utilities either turned off or bare minimums at best. Have you been getting utility bills? Noticed any increase in usage? You might be able to small claims court it if so. I would also agree to see if trespassing laws have been violated. Maybe dad can go and clean it up a bit? Sounds like it is a mess, but nothing that can't be fixed/cleaned up. Good Luck!

I can't imagine having to evict a squatter. The locks are changed, now he can't get in without breaking in. I would take all their crap and put it out in the trash...clothes everything. Oh I would also shred or burn it so it was totally unsuable!! But that is just me .

 

[Robinrs]

Wow, this is SOME story. I'm so sorry you went thru this. WOW!

I know you'll go the high road no matter what. Your "friend" is trying not to take responsibility but that's to be expected from someone who thought they'd get away with something so nasty.

Wow..

 

[hereyago]

Dang, with "friends" like that you don't need enemies. You know what? the husband has a right to know, even though you don' t know every little detail. The moment she betrayed you with turning your home into possibly her own love shack, it became ugly.

I"m kind of kooky, but I would have sent the stuff via messenger/delivery to said harlott's house, maybe something of hers was in all that that the husband would recognize.

 

[focusondisney]

Yes it is. This is one of those DIS threads that you never forget.

A new Dis classic! Sorry it's at your expense OP.


Did the ex-friend say anything incriminating on the voice mail? I'd be tempted to play that for her husband.



Edit: forgot to ask....have you "I told you so'd" your DH yet? I'm guessing he'll be trusting your instinct from now on!