Am I overreacting?

[Wishing on a star]

Not over-reacting.

Been there, done that, once... only we were young then, it was our rental... ended up with extra months rent, paying high fees and costs for the owners to replace the locks... long distance phone bills on the phone which had not quite yet been disconnected, etc...

Bottom line, as the homeowner you have responsibility and liability, here.

I would take care of it ASAP.

 

[chloelovesdisney]

I would change the locks, otherwise she will be making herself home in your house. If it was a one time deal she would not be making herself a copy of the key.

 

[Wishing on a star]

I would change the locks, otherwise she will be making herself home in your house. If it was a one time deal she would not be making herself a copy of the key.

Exactly....
The copy of the key is the real clincher/dealbreaker here.

 

[JLTraveling]

When I questioned her, she reacted oddly/ like she was caught doing something bad. She was asking who told me rather than giving a reasonable explanation. Her behavior is weird to me and I got the feeling she was lying. Just gut feeling I cannot quite explain. Her explanation of stopping by before a movie did not make sense since she had a case of beer. I emailed my neighbor back with a few more questions, he said she had been by several times. I did consider her a friend, now I am weirded out.

My neighbor is a retired police officer and a very nice neighbor. I hate to bother him if I can avoid it.

I think I am going to change the locks, not tell her, and see if she tries to get in again.

That makes a lot more sense, then. I still have trouble believing that your friend's intentions were bad, but it does seem that she's using poor judgment. I'd try to nicely extricate myself from the friend checking on the house scenario--no sense in turning it into huge drama between the two of you.

Change the locks if it makes you feel better. I'd seriously consider having the neighbor take care of minor things like the windows. It's clear that he's already keeping an eye on the house, and it seems like it wouldn't be a bit of trouble to run next door and do a small task. Offer him a few bucks a month if you like, though I doubt he'd take it.

 

[Arielle22]

Usually when I read "Am I overreacting posts" I think it is overreaction. In your case I don't think it is overreacting.

I would have the locks changed. When my brother and sister in law bought a new house a couple of years ago, they moved right before a scheduled Disney trip. They gave me and DH the house key to feed their pets and asked if we minded having spares made for them.

We had about 6 copies made and gave them all the keys. They asked why we didn't keep one for ourselves (we had a key to their old home) and I said "because you didn't say to".

I find it creepy that she would have a copy made without asking you. What was she planning on doing with it?

 

[luvsJack]

Is there anything in the house? And you say your husband isn't concerned? Why not?

I would be confused and wonder why she was doing this but I would try to see if from my husband's pov too and THEN decide if I am overreacting.

 

[lynxstch]

My gut reaction (which is likely totally off base) was that your friend is married and having an affair and going to your house to have it (I think I read on the DIS too often).

I would be upset that she still has your key (what if you needed to have someone else let themselves in with that hide a key and then it was not there because she had kept it and not told you) AND more so that she plans to make a copy of it.

I do not think changing the locks is overreacting. At the very least, tell her not to go over there again and not to make a copy and then ask the neighbor to let you know if she sees your "friend" come by again.

Also--thank your neighbor for watching out for the house and notifying you. Send him a little gift card or book he would enjoy or something if you can

you are NOT overreacting, change the locks immediately!!

 

[EMom]

When I questioned her, she reacted oddly/ like she was caught doing something bad. She was asking who told me rather than giving a reasonable explanation. Her behavior is weird to me and I got the feeling she was lying. Just gut feeling I cannot quite explain. Her explanation of stopping by before a movie did not make sense since she had a case of beer. I emailed my neighbor back with a few more questions, he said she had been by several times. I did consider her a friend, now I am weirded out.

My neighbor is a retired police officer and a very nice neighbor. I hate to bother him if I can avoid it.

I think I am going to change the locks, not tell her, and see if she tries to get in again.

Is your "friend" blood kin to Casey Anthony? Change the locks.

 

[Sadie22]

Any realtor who is out of town should be able to get a co-worker to take care of his or her listings. There should be a key in a lockbox on the house's door but a backup key in the realtor's office in case of problems. (Voice of experience from having sold a relative's house not near where I live. A visiting realtor left the house key in the house rather than returning it to the lockbox, then pulled the door closed behind her, locking herself out.) Leaving a hidden key on the property is asking for problems.

Get the locks changed and do not ask this friend for any more favors.

 

[ols386]

I would definitely change the locks..and don't tell her you are changing them.

And I guess that means you have to find a NEW hiding place for the key. Or just make sure the realtor has a key. Don't you have one of those little boxes where the house key is kept for when the real estate agent wants to show the house?

She had absolutely no right to just go off and make a copy of the house key. And no right to bring someone else into the house, to drink beer, or for any reason at all.

I would not be a bit happy about the situation if I were in your shoes.

You are not overracting.

 

[Magic Mom]

Maybe she made a key so she doesn't have to keep revealing where your hidden key is to all the nosy people spying on her or kids that migh be watching. A hidden key isn't hidden if someone comes by twice a week and retrieves it.

I think you are over reacting a bit. She overstepped her bounderies a little by inviting a friend into your home, but she was with him, and you trust her judgement enough to give her a key. Ask her not to have anymore firends over, because it stresses you and then let it go.

 

[lakelandgal70]

I don't think you are overreacting at all. I think your friend overstepped her boundaries. You asked her to open and close windows that was all. She didn't have permission to entertain in your empty house. I really find that bizarre. Even if it was family I would have been livid!

 

[Wishing on a star]

It is a vacant house....
It is not expected to smell like fresh air and apple pie.
I would not worry about the windows...
That would not be worth bothering a friend over.
That would not be worth the whole neighborhood seeing where your secret key is located.

Again, her behavior crosses every line.
And, really, not that surprising to see the whole 'what you are not using is mine' entitlement mentality.
But, just SO wrong.

Change the locks.
Don't expect others to be bothered by whether or not your vacant house might smell fresh or not.

 

[disykat]

I agree the key and the case of alcohol thing are weird, but I don't think the friend hanging out to watch a movie is weird. You said you asked her to "air out the house." Wouldn't that involved hanging out for a while?

 

[FredinFL]

Change the locks, this is why people change locks when they move in. Wacky neighbors.

 

[Nancyg56]

I would call the realtor and ask that a lockbox that is opened with a code be installed on the doors. Get rid of the spare hidden key. You are not overreacting, this is creepy

 

[LilyWDW]

Maybe she made a key so she doesn't have to keep revealing where your hidden key is to all the nosy people spying on her or kids that migh be watching. A hidden key isn't hidden if someone comes by twice a week and retrieves it.

I think you are over reacting a bit. She overstepped her bounderies a little by inviting a friend into your home, but she was with him, and you trust her judgement enough to give her a key. Ask her not to have anymore firends over, because it stresses you and then let it go.

Then you call up your friend and say "Hey friend. You know, I don't think that hiding spot is very safe. What do you think about having an extra key made so I can have it on hand if you need my help again?" You do NOT just go and have an extra key made for a house that is not yours. That is over stepping boundaries to a big level. Just having a key made in this situation is just... wrong... odd... and perplexing.

I would have the locks changed.

 

[luvsJack]

Maybe she made a key so she doesn't have to keep revealing where your hidden key is to all the nosy people spying on her or kids that migh be watching. A hidden key isn't hidden if someone comes by twice a week and retrieves it.

I think you are over reacting a bit. She overstepped her bounderies a little by inviting a friend into your home, but she was with him, and you trust her judgement enough to give her a key. Ask her not to have anymore firends over, because it stresses you and then let it go.

I agree!

I would still like to know why her husband doesn't see it as a problem?

 

[surfergirl602]

Her behavior is just bizarre. I really think you should have the realtor get the locks changed, and tell her why.

 

[momof1princess]

i agree, her behavior was bizarre, and i would have the locks changed immediately.