Am I going about WW the wrong way?

[QueenTrident]

Need opinions from experienced WISHers....

DH and I are battling about the way I'm doing WW. The last two times I joined, I was super-strict and lost a lot of weight very quickly. Unfortunately, I gained it back just as quickly. This time, I'm trying not to deprive myself too much so that I can make more of a lifestyle, rather than a diet (you know the tune).

So, on Saturday, when we were having dinner at his grandparents house, I avoided all the hors d'oeuvres and watched my portions on bread and main meal food. I did the calculation in my head and still had 4 points for the day. So, I decided to have a sliver of cheese cake for dessert. DH got upset and thought I was cheating and off WW. I tried to explain flex points, but he thinks I just shouldn't eat them. (Did I say he was 140 lbs soaking wet and has never had a weight problem?) I counted the sliver as 6 points, even though I doubt it was that many, but I wanted to be sure.

Then, today, I had a kid's meal hamburger at Wendys, instead of my usual chili/side salad. I figured for two more points, I had a more satifying, if less healthy meal. But, I hit all my other nutrition goals for the day (milk, veggies, water, etc), so I figured I was good. DH was still giving me grief about it until I exploded on him and told him to butt out (not the best way of dealing, but I'm tired of hearing it...)

Anyway, do you think I'm doing this wrong? Should I be stricter and stay away from anything fatty/unhealthy, even if I have the points? Should I stay away from flex points and activity points so that I lose faster?

Any guidance would be appreciated.

PS - DH really isn't a bad guy, just tired of hearing me complain about my weight and trying to "help".

Thanks!

 

[kayeandjim00]

I think you are going about it just the right way! I am not on WW but it does seem that WW stresses being able to eat what you want within reason as long as you can account for it points wise. I am eating sensibly (staying within 1200 calories) but the approach is the same. If I want to have a cookie then I need to make sure I have enough calories. The downfall of many people when they are dieting is when they feel too deprived they just give up. By "treating" yourself occassionaly but staying within your points you are allowing yourself to eat the things you are craving but still stay on plan. That's a great compromise. Maybe you could sit down with DH and really explain to him the WW philosopy of not depriving yourself but being accountable for what you eat. Then in the future you won't feel like you have to defend your eating choices especially when you know your choices are ok. Hope this helps!!

 

[TeresaNJ]

I think you are going about it just the right way! As long as you are drinking your water, and getting enough fiber, calcium and protein, I think treating yourself once in a while as long as you stay within your points is aokay! Tell your DH he is stressing you out, which really may cause you to go off the wagon.

 

[TammyNC]

It sounds to me that you are doing fine. You are staying within your points and we do have to give ourselves some of our comfort food and that is fine as long as you make it work within your points. That is what I truly love about WW.

I have also found that I started doing much better when I stopped looking at this as a diet, but as a lifestyle change. You can only deprive yourself for so long before you're going to really crash.

Keep up the great work and I agree about talking to DH and just let him know that you are following your points and you are allowed to eat your points for the day. You can let him know you appreciate his help and concern, but he is making a little difficult on you. Maybe if he was to look into the program a little it might help him understand it.

 

[sharoncity]

Jenn - I think you and I can be new best friends!

I too have just begun WW and WISH and have a slim husband who can abstain from EVERYTHING for a few weeks a drop his measly 5- 7 lbs! And he too LOVES to give me a hard time about what I eat! (Dejavu huh?) He does it because he is trying to help in his own way. And he simply doesn't understand that there is not 1 plan out there that works for all people. He thinks I should do what he does, and voila! weight will be gone! (NOT!)

You need to stick with what you are doing. In a few weeks, when he sees results, you can prove to him that it is working.
Also, what I am trying to do is use exercise a lot more than in the past. If you use 4 or 5 of your points for something that is not quite "diet" food, try to do enough exercise to earn that many points back, but don't use them! (does that make sense?) In other words, I have 22 points per day. Last night I had an ice cream sundae (Edys Choc Fat Free Ice Cream, a banana, and whipped cream) All completely within my 22 points. But I did aerobics and earned back 5 points, which I did not use. I took my measurements and I'm hoping in two weeks, when I do it again, I'll have proof positive that I'm doing this right!

Good Luck and stick with it for awhile and sweetly tell him to give you a few weeks to see if this is going to work for you.

 

[ohMom]

MelanieC is the QUEEN of explaining why it is important to eat more than minimum pts! Melanie?

BTW - I think you are totally following the WW plan. That's why I love it too! You can eat your flex pts and AP; that's why they are there. Maybe you'll lose slower this time; but that is better for your metabolism and lessens the risk of gaining in maintainence.

it is totally OKEY DOKEY to eat pizza, hamburger, slivers of cheesecake; like TammyNC said this is a lifestyle not a diet. I know I can't go forever without eating junk food. Over the past 10 months I'm learning how much better I FEEL when I choose healthier foods and that stops me at times; but others I just NEED sugar, grease, fat -- pick your poison -- so I indulge, get over it and move on! You can do that too!

I'm very proud of you for portion-controlling and staying within your points. Pat yourself on the back - well done!

 

[maryliz]

Yep ... you're doing exactly what you should be doing I too love the flex points because it allows me to have what I want, as long as I am accountable for the number of points I am using in a day/week. If I am at a family birthday, I cannot, nor do I have a desire to, pass on the cake. I'm gonna have it ... so I plan for it. Depriving is not the way to go ... you will become resentful towards your plan, and eventually toss it all into the trash. I'm guessing that you overestimated the points that the cheesecake was, and that just proves that the plan is working for you ... you considered yourself accountable, and even counted more points than you really had to!

Yes, he's probably just trying to help -- my dh made a comment the other night when I was eating bread before bed. He has seen me come this far and doesn't want to see me give up, but hey, I wanted the bread, so I ate the bread, end of discussion Just explain to him that your plan is not a diet, but a lifestyle change, and that in life you will continue to treat yourself.

Mary Liz

 

[hammertime]

Just wanted to add that I agree with everyone else.

It's a lifestyle change not a diet! This way you an can be good most of the time and splurge some of the time and still be ok and not feel deprived. Believe me I've been on a lifestyle change for a year (joined WW after loosing 40lb's to keep me motivated)and I'm starting to see that I don't crave the bad foods as much as I used to. We're talking I used to be a potatoe chip bag eater a day kind of girl. Now the only chips I ever eat are tostitos cause I love them but only once in a while, maybe once every other month.

Perhaps if you explained to your husband that your goal is to change your eating lifestyle and that WW is helping you with that and that weight loss is just a benefit of the lifestyle change then maybe he'll understand better. We all know that you can't be on a diet for every but lifestyle changes can be permanent!

If that doesn't work maybe you should take him to a meeting so he see's how the plan works.


Best of luck,

Pam

 

[QueenTrident]

Thanks for all the encouragement. I was really beginning to doubt myself.

I've read what Mel says about eating your flex points and think it makes perfect sense. I just get conflicting information from my leader and the women at my meeting - none of them eat their flex points. Now I'm afraid to start eating them, since it's been two weeks without them. I do usually eat my activity points though, just because I'm starving if I don't.

Thanks again for the encouragement!

 

[jillwdw]

I just wanted to add my opinoin. I love WW because I hate to deprive myself. You seem right on track. I often utilize the flex points and have successfully lost weight. I was not following WW during the holidays at all. I only gained a couple of pounds, which was a relief. With the slow but steady loss that I have had, the weight is staying off easier. Keep up the good work.

 

[WDWLVR]

Just wanted to add that I agree you are going about things just fine. That is what I love about weight watchers. You can pick what you want and still lose.

The lifestyle thing is true - I'll only stick with it if it is something I can live with. (if that makes sense). Sure I could lose quicker but would i keep it off? This way I plan to keep it off for good!

 

[MelanieC]

(((HUGS))),
Its not easy to do this when you're worried that someone will say something about what you eat. It causes so much stress and anxiety. I agree with everyone else that you should sit down with him and explain how he has to trust you and that him actually "helping" will actually cause you to overeat out of stress and possibily give up.

You are definately doing WW's right by having the things you like. You can have anything on WW's you just have to fit it into the program.

On the eating flex points. Here is my points for each day of the week last week. Just as an example. I lost 3 pounds this week, but also came off of a holiday gain.

I weigh 145, but I kept my points target at 22 points instead of dropping to 22.

Mon- 22.5
Tues- 21.5
Wed- 29
Thur-24
Fri-28.5
Sat- 36
Sun-27
_______
total 188.5

I used all but .5 of my 35 flex points. What I love about flex points is I don't have to try to have 20-25 each day, I can shoot for 22 and use the rest of the 35 whenever I need them.

I have lost my weight eating pizza several times a week, having things like bratwurst, desserts, peanut butter etc. I have also learned to eat healthier, so most of the time I eat very healthy. I now only eat veggie pizza. Before WW's it would have been loaded with meat. I now add a little whole wheat flour to my pizza crust if we make homemade. I eat lots of fruit, yogurt, veggies, legumes, whole wheat bread and lots of complex carbs that I never ate before. I still have all my favorite stuff, but now that I have combined it with my healthier lifestlye they now compliment each other and allow me to loose weight where I could not before.

I am sure that once your husband see's your results his tune will change. I know he just wants what is best for you. I hope you can help him see that he would actually help better by supporting you in enjoying your food and splurges while staying on track. Good luck!

Melanie

 

[QueenTrident]

So I went to my meeting today and we had to talk about why we love WW.

I said, well, it really allows you to eat anything in moderation and I gave the example of the cheesecake and Wendys I ate this week.

So he said that it was great that although I went "off-program", I was able to get back "on program" and lose 2 pounds.

I never considered myself off program. If I had the no-cheat star, I would not have reset it when I ate those things, because I planned and stayed within flex points.

Other than his beliefs on not eating flex or activity points, I do like this leader - he's very upbeat and positive. I guess I just have to take from him what I want and leave the rest. And, I have to follow WW my way, which is the way that works for me.

Just thought I'd share...

 

[mowsie dreamer]

Hey!! Congrats on that 2 pound loss!!

It sort of sounds like your leader has had trouble adjusting to the flex points program. Why would they even bother to give you flex points or activity points if you couldn't use them? I think you are taking exactly the right approach by taking what you can use from this leader and leaving his views on flex and activity points.

You are correct that you were not off program when you had the cheesecake. As long as you stayed within your allowed points and satisfied your other nutritional components (veggies/fruits and milk) you were definitely on program.

Keep up the good work!!

 

[QueenTrident]

Thanks for the congrats! And, today is the first day of TOM, so I figure I did even better than the scale showed.

And, yep, I made sure all my other requirements were met every day, so I really feel okay with my choices. I'm just surprised my leader was so down on them. I think you're right - he's not used to the flex points at all. But, I love them!

Have a great weekend!

 

[sm4987]

So glad I found you guys. I often wonder this about WW. I like being able to pick and choose what I eat. It's wonderful for me, and I hope to lose mcuh in the coming weeks. We should keep a WW support group going on around here!!!

 

[mom2grace]

This is the beauty of WW over other programs. My in-laws just skipped their granddaughter's birthday because they couldn't eat the pizza and cake!

I have done WW twice in the past, each time was successful, I gained the weight back through pregnancy.

One of the ways WW works is through portion control. For DH to be successful, he can't feel like he is on a diet and he hates "diet food". So, I buy mini-bags of microwave popcorn, etc. and I put a sticker on his Tastykakes box of how many points they are so he can account for them. I label the points on everything!

We both drink regular Coke and eat regular butter. I put extra veggies in everything...omelets, casseroles, etc. so we feel full and it's not "diet" food.

I leave a few points each day for all of the junk I eat picking up after my daughter, chips, m-n-m's, french fries, etc.

I also overestimate if I don't know exactly how many points something is.

I second the chili at Wendy's, we should buy stock!!

Tomorrow is weigh-in for us, I'm keeping my fingers crossed. I also never use my exercise points.

Make it fit you, as long as you are seeing results, your leader should be proud!

Susan