Am I Being Unreasonable?

[maciec]

My dh's parents live 6 hours away. Due to various reasons we only see them twice a year (no bad blood it just happens this way).

We were planning on driving to their house the day before Thanksgiving and staying with them until Saturday. We have 5yoa dd & a 2yoa ds, plus we have had it planned (with approval of MIL & FIL)that we would be bringing the dog with us. Well dh talks to FIL today and dh's step brother & wife and their 2 little girls (both under 4) will be staying at the house with us. Step brother and family live 2 hours away.

Herein lies the problem. Our ds would be sleeping in the pack n' play and dd would be sleeping on the floor (which I know she would pitch a fit and she would end up in bed with us), and now we won't be able to bring the dog because one of the girls is afraid of big dogs. Called the kennel ~ no room at the inn. Everyone we know of can't take her for various reasons. So now dh wants to drive up on Thanksgiving, eat, spend the night in a hotel, and then come home the next day.

First of all I am ticked because we have had this planned for several months. I don't think that it's fair that we have to drive 6 hours and stay in a hotel. We never have before. They have only had it planned that brother & family would be coming to Thanksgiving for a week now. If dh didn't call until the day before we had left we wouldn't have known that we couldn't bring the dog and then we really wouldn't have been able to go. And then on top of all of that traveling I have to work Saturday and Sunday nights, and then we leave for Disney on Tuesday.

My solution is that we will go up and spend the weekend with them the first weekend in January. Decemeber is out because of all of the other obligations that we have.

So please tell me..... Am I being unreasonable not wanting to take 6 hours to drive up, 6 to come back, spend $90 on a hotel for one night? AGGGHHHHH!!!!

Thanks for letting me vent!

 

[tiggersmom2]

My dh's parents live 6 hours away. Due to various reasons we only see them twice a year (no bad blood it just happens this way).

We were planning on driving to their house the day before Thanksgiving and staying with them until Saturday. We have 5yoa dd & a 2yoa ds, plus we have had it planned (with approval of MIL & FIL)that we would be bringing the dog with us. Well dh talks to FIL today and dh's step brother & wife and their 2 little girls (both under 4) will be staying at the house with us. Step brother and family live 2 hours away.

Herein lies the problem. Our ds would be sleeping in the pack n' play and dd would be sleeping on the floor (which I know she would pitch a fit and she would end up in bed with us), and now we won't be able to bring the dog because one of the girls is afraid of big dogs. Called the kennel ~ no room at the inn. Everyone we know of can't take her for various reasons. So now dh wants to drive up on Thanksgiving, eat, spend the night in a hotel, and then come home the next day.

First of all I am ticked because we have had this planned for several months. I don't think that it's fair that we have to drive 6 hours and stay in a hotel. We never have before. They have only had it planned that brother & family would be coming to Thanksgiving for a week now. If dh didn't call until the day before we had left we wouldn't have known that we couldn't bring the dog and then we really wouldn't have been able to go. And then on top of all of that traveling I have to work Saturday and Sunday nights, and then we leave for Disney on Tuesday.

My solution is that we will go up and spend the weekend with them the first weekend in January. Decemeber is out because of all of the other obligations that we have.

So please tell me..... Am I being unreasonable not wanting to take 6 hours to drive up, 6 to come back, spend $90 on a hotel for one night? AGGGHHHHH!!!!

Thanks for letting me vent!

I do understand your frustration.....but family trumps a pet everytime in my household.

Why don't you check into a petsitter? I do this everytime we go to WDW. I used to have 3 kitties, now have 2 and the weekly cost was only 50.00. Just something to think about.

 

[Pig Pen]

Are you kidding? I would jump at the chance to stay just one night in a hotel and get the heck back home! The whole scenario sounds like a nightmare to me....even before stepbrother and family came into the picture!

 

[robinb]

I agree with TM2 on the pet-sitter. We have a high school student who comes in and feeds the cats while we are gone. We also had someone walk our dog when we had one. You can probably get one of your neighbor kids to walk the dog twice a day amd feed him while you are gone.

 

[Zurealsoon]

I used to leave my dog for a few days & have a neighbor's kid feed him. I bought one of those big water dispenser things, so he always had enough water. Could a neighbor help by feeding the dog?

 

[The Mystery Machine]

Actually sounds kind of fun. In and out, whooopee!!!! Don't sweat it and consider yourself dodging a bullet.

 

[Allison]

I think you are being unreasonable. Suck it up for your husband's sake.

I hope you have a good holiday.

 

[chicagodisneyfan]

I think you need to do whatever it takes to have Thanksgiving with the family.

 

[aprilgail2]

I would take the one night in a hotel over a few nights staying at someone elses house anyday! Can't you just have a neighbor stop in and feed the dog and let it out once or twice while you are gone? I can't imagine traveling 6 hours in a car with 2 kids and a dog and then bringing that dog in another peoples house..

 

[lulugirl]

I think you are being unreasonable. Doesn't Dh's stepbrother have the right to stay there to?
I agree they should have called you to discuss the dog. It's still almost two weeks away, perhaps they thought that was ample time to make other arrangements w/ a kennel or pet sitter?

 

[epcotfan]

I used to be a petsitter and its hard to get sitting at the last minute over holidays. If you absolutely must go, I would jump at the chance of staying at a hotel overnight instead of with that many people in one house. Make sure it is pet friendly hotel though. A brief trip might be better than a long one with shared accomodations.
However I must add that two six hour drives in a period of two days is a bit much and there is no way I would do it. I think your plan for January is a better one.

 

[jipsy]

why not find a hotel that allows pets and stay the whole time anyway? Holiday Inns and Super 8's will usually take them.

 

[mommaU4]

Hmmmm, are these the responses you were hoping for? just kidding.

I know it's a pain and I'd probably feel the same as you do. Personally I think the step-bro and his family should be in the hotel since they are the ones who planned to come after you and they are the ones with a problem with the dog. But it doesn't seem like that's gonna happen.

Do what you gotta do for the dog, drive the 6 hours, eat turkey and make nice with the familia, pay the 90 bucks, drive 6 hours home, don't yell at DH all the way home tempting as it may be, work your Sat. and Sun., then go on your trip, have a blast and forget all about it!!!

Sound like a plan? Oh, and maybe start thinking about spending next Thanksgiving on a Disney cruise and just sending the dog to visit the family. Just kidding again. Nobody yell at me.

 

[FayeW]

I don't think you are being unreasonable at all! You had your plans made, and now you are going to be majorly inconvenienced, AND have to go to an additional expense. Tell the in-laws that the dog has to come, and the girls will just have to deal with the dog. Maybe they will discover that big dogs aren't so scary after all! If bringing the dog is out of the question, then reschedule for later, as you suggested. I really don't see what the big deal is about Thanksgiving. It's ONE day, and Christmas is only 4 weeks later!

 

[Honu]

I don't think its reasonable (at all) to spend 12 hours in a car over the course of 2 days just to have dinner. There is no way I'd do that.

 

[maciec]

I can deal with the dog problem it's everything else that I find irritating. I really don't think that it's fair to my kids that when we go to their grandparents house to not get more than 6 hours with them before it's see you next September. Which is a whole other problem in itself, but that's dh's & fil's problem to figure out.

As far as a pet sitter is concerned while the idea is a nice one, at this short notice I don't have the time to find one, check their references, and hope that it is someone that I can trust in my house and with my dog.

Can I just skip Thanksgiving this year????? Send everyone else on their merry way?

 

[mommaU4]

I'm curious what your DH has to say about the whole matter? And have you told your in-laws how you feel?
It might help if you talked to them. Maybe they could help think of a solution.

Family and fair don't always go together but I do know how you feel. It's especially hard when it's your in-laws. Don't want to step on any toes? That's how I feel anyway with mine.

 

[marybet]

I tried this before and got "servers are busy try again".

I agree with the OP and don't think she is being unreasonable. I am really surprised at all the posters who think she is. They made plans and the in-laws should have called before telling the stepbrother to come. How often does the SB visit? He lives 2 hours away and could easily come in the morning and go home that night. It isn't just about the dog, her DD will have to sleep on the floor.

I think jumping through hoops so you can spend the holidays with family is so not worth it. What kind of visit will they have? I would be so resentful of having to make "nice" that I would be miserable the whole time.

Tell them the truth, it is to late to find a place for the dog, and go in Jan.

 

[Zurealsoon]

As far as a pet sitter is concerned while the idea is a nice one, at this short notice I don't have the time to find one, check their references, and hope that it is someone that I can trust in my house and with my dog.
?

My pet feeders never enterd the house. The dog was in the yard. Do you really keep a big dog in the house? Just have a neighbor feed the dog in the yard.

 

[The Mystery Machine]

Can I just skip Thanksgiving this year????? Send everyone else on their merry way?

Yes, yes!!!! I vote for that!!!
If you cannot find a place for the dog you will just have to stay home, huh?
Seriously, what would your dh do or how does he feel about the change in plans?

You know, this is one of those times when you go, huh? What are we doing?
Honestly if my family or dh's family did that we would stay home.
DH and I read on the same page when it comes to family. We have had ALOT of it to deal with and know the drill.