Am I being out of order?

[thelittlemermaid83]

................

 

[Muscateer]

I just knew this was going to be about the dreaded SIL.

Well I am not one to hold back so I probably would have done the same thing as you. Don't see the point in spending time with someone you can't stand.

I stopped going to a annual family thing as I too also couldn't stand one of my SILs, thankfully my bro saw sense eventually and divorced her. She really was awful.

Your a mum too so you should also have a special day.

When is mother's day by the way? My mum died many years ago so I tend to forget about these sort of things but do expect a card and choccies from my daughter.

 

[thelittlemermaid83]

I just knew this was going to be about the dreaded SIL.

Well I am not one to hold back so I probably would have done the same thing as you. Don't see the point in spending time with someone you can't stand.

I stopped going to a annual family thing as I too also couldn't stand one of my SILs, thankfully my bro saw sense eventually and divorced her. She really was awful.

Your a mum too so you should also have a special day.

When is mother's day by the way? My mum died many years ago so I tend to forget about these sort of things but do expect a card and choccies from my daughter.

Its the 14th March

You would think my Mother knew by now how much I hate the girl, she told me the other week she was letting them stay another year because the SIL kept spending the money for deposit on a house on other things. I blew my top esp as when I had Kyra my Dad made me leave claiming there wasn't any room for both of us in the house, yet all the SIL belongings are taking up 2 spare rooms in the house.

I know my Mum will be upset if i'm not there on Mothers day but i just can't bring myself to go if it involves going out for a meal and pretending to be all happy go lucky. I would rather go Pizza hut and cinema with my daughter instead.

 

[irisheyes123]

Not at all Its the one day of the year that its all about you no point going with someone that would ruin your day

 

[orlandothebeagle]

Your poor Mum probably feels worst of all, and thats whats really annoying!!

Sometimes you just have to suck it up, but easier said than done.

You have to do what feels right for you.


Cant you do a mothers day breakfast or brunch with you mum and the rest of day with dd?

 

[gemmybear83]

Sorry, I take a different view. Personally I would go - shes soon going to be part of your family and there is no pointing in burning bridges with her and your brother. You can't get along with everyone but you can be civil


Sorry if that sounds harsh - but all families are are a little odd and nothing is straight forward, I hope you manage to sort it out

 

[Pinky166]

I have a similar situation with my brother as we don't get on, I tend to avoid going to my parents at the same time that he will be visiting (i've even been known to drive straight past before when i've seen his car outside) but it's not always possible, we have to go to family events & I just try & sit the other end of the table from him.

I know thats not possible for you with your SIL living there.

Can't you pop around for a quick visit in the morning before they go out & then you and Kyra go somewhere nice together afterwards? At least then you will still please your mum by seeing her on the day.

 

[izzie-wizzie]

Its the 14th March

You would think my Mother knew by now how much I hate the girl, she told me the other week she was letting them stay another year because the SIL kept spending the money for deposit on a house on other things. I blew my top esp as when I had Kyra my Dad made me leave claiming there wasn't any room for both of us in the house, yet all the SIL belongings are taking up 2 spare rooms in the house.

This seems so sad and I can imagine with things like this being a factor in your situation, not going defo seems like the easiest way.

Personally, i would probably avoid going - because I'd rather not seem 'fake' and force that i was happy - when all I'd want to do was spend quality time with my daughter.

As PP suggested try do a breakfast/brunch with your mum in the morning so you still get to see her, without any awkward SIL times. Hope you can sort things out one way or another

 

[tennisfan]

Sorry, I take a different view. Personally I would go - shes soon going to be part of your family and there is no pointing in burning bridges with her and your brother. You can't get along with everyone but you can be civil


Sorry if that sounds harsh - but all families are are a little odd and nothing is straight forward, I hope you manage to sort it out

I tend to agree with this & the other PP who mention popping round in the morning to see your mum & then do something with Kyra. I know its hard but your mum is probably feeling stuck in the middle of this. Families will never be easy, hope you manage to sort something out

 

[mandymouse]

Families !! Tell me about it

I think your best bet would to do something special with her on the Saturday, and let your brother take her out on the Sunday. That way, you get to do something nice with Kyra on Mother's Day too

Have a lovely Mother's Day weekend, whatever you decide to do

 

[Clare D]

Totally agree with Mandy. I would do something with your mum on the Saturday and then have your own Mother's Day on the Sunday.
If a hit I would make it an annual tradition.

 

[higgy66]

In laws - don't even get me started!

Now I would tackle this competely differently......

I would make sure I had a fantastic lunch/afternoon planned for you and Kyra and then call to your Mum's in the morning for a coffee and chat. Then in front of SIL make a BIG point of explaining to your Mum that you're really sorry that you can't make lunch because of what your plans were and how fantsic it was going to be and how much Kyra is looking forward to it.

I would not give the dreaded SIL the satisfaction that for one minute you were bothered by any of it.

Whatever happens have a wonderful day.

 

[thelittlemermaid83]

Families !! Tell me about it

I think your best bet would to do something special with her on the Saturday, and let your brother take her out on the Sunday. That way, you get to do something nice with Kyra on Mother's Day too

Have a lovely Mother's Day weekend, whatever you decide to do

Thanks Mandy that sounds like a great idea. I think I will talk to my Mum about taking her out to lunch on the Saturday and then i can do something with Kyra on the Sunday.

I can understand people saying to suck it up, but i think i've done enough sucking up when the SIL is involved. Also knowing the fact that she didn't even want me there in the first place says it all.

 

[CustardTart]

Thanks Mandy that sounds like a great idea. I think I will talk to my Mum about taking her out to lunch on the Saturday and then i can do something with Kyra on the Sunday.

I can understand people saying to suck it up, but i think i've done enough sucking up when the SIL is involved. Also knowing the fact that she didn't even want me there in the first place says it all.

That's a excellent solution!!! Hope you get it sorted, Emma... Personally, I wouldn't want to go either - it's your day too and IMO you're entitled to spend it having fun with Kyra. Have a good one!!!

 

[florida sun]

That's a excellent solution!!! Hope you get it sorted, Emma... Personally, I wouldn't want to go either - it's your day too and IMO you're entitled to spend it having fun with Kyra. Have a good one!!!

I agree

 

[thelittlemermaid83]

Thanks everyone for the advice , here is hoping my Mum is ok about going out a day earlier to celebrate, otherwise lord knows what will happen.

I'm dreading Christmas

 

[joolz1910]

Just caught up with this, Emma. Since I had my kids, I always spend the Saturday with my Mum and she is absolutely fine with this. That way, I get my mother's day on Sunday.

Your SIL sounds like a nightmare.

 

[thelittlemermaid83]

Your SIL sounds like a nightmare.

She is my worst nightmare

 

[joolz1910]

She is my worst nightmare

I remember when she went to DLP with you. That was the best trippie ever - I don't know how you controlled yourself.

 

[thelittlemermaid83]

I remember when she went to DLP with you. That was the best trippie ever - I don't know how you controlled yourself.

Oh yes, i will never forget that trip

All i can say is....NEVER AGAIN!