Am I bad parent? Not walking to take my kids again?

[alm99]

We’ve been fortunate, taking our kids three times during their childhood/teen years. They are now 19, 17, and 15. Originally in 2014, 2016 and 2021. They are old enough to have memories of at least the most recent trip and pictures to jump start older memories.

We want to go without our kids! Experience the parks the way we want, see the things we want to see, etc. Is that wrong? We feel guilty and think that we might feel guilty or sad when we are there and they are not.

 

[nw6675]

It's not wrong, particularly with their ages. My favorite trip was my 40th birthday even though I felt guilty without DD.

 

[PPFlight75]

We’ve been fortunate, taking our kids three times during their childhood/teen years. They are now 19, 17, and 15. Originally in 2014, 2016 and 2021. They are old enough to have memories of at least the most recent trip and pictures to jump start older memories.

We want to go without our kids! Experience the parks the way we want, see the things we want to see, etc. Is that wrong? We feel guilty and think that we might feel guilty or sad when we are there and they are not.

There is nothing wrong at all about going without them. They are old enough to understand parents get time away too. We've been going for many years and DH and I have made a few trips without them. They are 21, 18, and 14. It is so fun even if at first you do feel a little bad. We also go at other times with them so they get their fun too. They actually are good with the amount of time they get to go and don't really want to go as often as DH so it works for everyone.

Plan your trip and have a blast!

 

[EdnaMarieMode]

I may not be the person to ask.

In 2014 we left DH’s kiddos at home (they lived with us full time) to go on a Disney Cruise for our honeymoon and FaceTimed them from the water slide area before sailing away.

In 2015 we left them home again to go to WDW for our anniversary.

In 2016 we added a kiddo to our crew and in 2018, left all 3 at home to go to WDW when DH was sent to the area for a a work conference.

DS6 is the only one who thinks we’re cool and wants to get on a plane with us. DS16 is always appreciative and likes to travel with us but if I told him he was staying home so he could live on Doritos in front of his computer in a people free environment he would be so happy you’d think he owned Disney.

Point being- we take our kids plenty. We take them to plenty of other places as well. They are not suffering. We are fortunate to budget well enough to take trips with and without our kids. We cherish the trips we take with our whole family but going just the two of us was worth every ounce of anxiety we had about leaving the kids with grandparents and having them hate us for going without them. At the ages you’re discussing, they are well old enough to understand.

 

[Mollygirl21]

DH and I are going in Feb 2024 without our 11 yo son... I do feel a little bit guilty but the excitement of an adult trip is stronger than the guilt.

We have two vacations booked for 2024... a Carnival cruise and this trip to WDW. We told our son, one is a family trip and one is a mom & dad trip and he got to pick. He chose the cruise lol

Btw, this will be our second trip without him, the last one was 2020 when he was 8.

He's fine...he gets to go on lots of great trips including Disney.

But yes, that guilt is still there in the background

 

[mdmost]

Not at all. Wife and I have never had that option so when we were in Paris for her 40th birthday, we looked at the distance from Paris to Disneyland Paris and how easy it was to get there. Then we looked at if we were going to have to sacrifice any of our trip to do it. We weren't so we tacked on an extra day, took the train to DLP, and had the best adult day at Disneyland Paris that we could have. Don't feel guilty. Being a parent at Disney is not a situation where you can just let go of all your worries, even if your kids are of an older age. You still have to tend to them at some point.

We would love to take a trip to WDW, just the two of us. If you can do it, do it.

 

[Silvermist999]

I am the opposite…I want to travel anywhere, including Disney with my kids as long as possible before they no longer want to travel with us or are old enough to travel with their own friends on their own. I think we will have plenty of time when we become empty nesters to travel on our own!

 

[wegotodisney]

We’ve been fortunate, taking our kids three times during their childhood/teen years. They are now 19, 17, and 15. Originally in 2014, 2016 and 2021. They are old enough to have memories of at least the most recent trip and pictures to jump start older memories.

We want to go without our kids! Experience the parks the way we want, see the things we want to see, etc. Is that wrong? We feel guilty and think that we might feel guilty or sad when we are there and they are not.

I still feel guilty when I don't invite my kids on our trips (Disney or anywhere). They are all in their 30s, have families of their own, and still love doing things with us. I never could have left them behind when they were children or teens.

 

[kandb]

My husband I would not leave our kids behind to go to WDW. We enjoy their company and they are old enough now that they can go to the parks alone without us and my husband and I can do our own thing for a while or go out to dinner together while they get their own dinner. We are usually together around 80% of the time but when we go to disney now, we can go our own way for a bit. To each their own.

 

[thinkerbell]

We left our teenage children at home once when going to WDW because we knew that we would have another trip with them in just a few months. We spent the whole time talking about what they would have liked to do. We had a good time but we wished that we had taken them. It made us feel kind of guilty.

 

[Ghost Host 998]

DW and I go every year. We take our sons every other year. No guilt, only great memories.

 

[bbak30]

Nope. Not even a little bit. Our kids are older, 14 and 17 now. For the last few years we have made it a point to take an adults only vacation. I’ve been to DW with girlfriends without the kids. My kids don’t do without. They were a little sad and jealous, but happy for me. They know I work hard and they get to do a lot.
Adult Only trips and adult only time are what keeps marriages together in my opinion. One day, a lot sooner than we realize, those kiddos will be gone with lives of their own. Better spend some time making sure we still like each other before that happens!!!

 

[sommergirl25]

Do it! We took our 1st kid less trip to Disney in 2019 and are leaving for another tomorrow. We have taken our kids quite a few times and have found that we also really enjoy Adults only trips too. We are taking some friends who will be doing their first trip without the kids! It is a whole new experience

 

[coasternut22]

Before we had had kids, my wife and I always went to theme parks. Its’s ingrained in our relationship and a part of who we are. Sure, we take the kids, but we make it a point to go without them once a year. Lately, it’s been Food and Wine trips in the fall. But we’ve done Universal as well.

 

[Genie+]

Under 12yo they always joined WDW trips. After age 15 they started not joining every trip, either because they rather not take a day or two off school or just not interested in going as often as we parents like. Still in college now and they can join any trip they want and choose only every other trip or so. It’s nice. Some couple’s time and still some family time.

 

[DCLMP]

I am the opposite…I want to travel anywhere, including Disney with my kids as long as possible before they no longer want to travel with us or are old enough to travel with their own friends on their own. I think we will have plenty of time when we become empty nesters to travel on our own!

I'm like you I love traveling with my kids who are now 18 and 20. I'm going to be very sad when they no longer want to travel with us.
If I was going to take a trip with just my husband WDW wouldn't be my choice, but to OP there's nothing wrong with it. On the other hand, if you feel guilty about maybe it's not a good idea.

 

[glocon]

I say try it at least once.

You won’t really know how you’ll feel when you’re there until you really are there.
It might be more fun than you think… but the only way you’ll know is if you try.

Tomorrow is not guaranteed for anyone, so if you want to do a couples trip to WDW, you should!

 

[scrappinginontario]

I’d say if you are taking other trips and family time with your kids, it’s good. Also, being sensitive to how much you talk about it in front of them, before and after the trip. You don’t need to ignore it while they’re around but be aware of how you’d feel if the roles were reversed.

When I was a kid I’ll admit I didn’t understand that my parents took the odd weekend or a week away for the 2 of them and left us kids behind. My friends were going to islands for spring break and I was home. As an adult I now look back and thank my parents for taking time to themselves, to invest in their marriage. Parent just need time away and that’s healthy.

My parents will be celebrating their 65th wedding anniversary later this year!!!! I’m glad they took time for the 2 of them. It’s healthy!

 

[AnnaS]

Our first adult only trip to Disney was when my youngest was a senior in HS. All three kids at home. HS, College and one was already working FT. They all drove and had their own cars.

It was our first F&W (October).

All three are married with children and we take trips with them all the time. DH and I take two yearly trips every year (may include Vero). Many times one or two of them (with their families) come along. My oldest has my oldest granddaughter where they won't take her out of school anymore (he has 3). His last trip was 4 years ago when my DD got married in Disney. We are all going together next April (Easter recess) - 16 of us. 14 my family and one other set of grandparents.

I would take the trip. If your kids want to go - any school schedule to worry about? They are old enough where they can go off on their own and you have adult time. But it is a whole different trip without them. We love our adult time but also love when I am with my family.

I am not sure I could do it if it was our only trip of the year.

 

[lockets]

The 19 year old is an adult so not an issue unless responsibility for the 15 and 17 year olds would fall to the 19 year old while you're away. In that case I'd definitely run that by them without any assumptions.

The 17 year old is almost an adult. At 17 and 15, most kids have busy lives with friends and activities and "me time."

I'm wondering if you floated it by them yet? They might be encouraging and cool with it! They can enjoy time on their own. They can hang out locally with their friends. It's starting to get them to flex their "adulting" muscles.

Also I think the answer depends on how long the trip is (and again, who will be responsible for them.)

i.e.
If it's just a weekend then it's not even a question.
If it's two weeks that's where you might want to check in on how they'd feel about it and make sure the right person is watching them so you can leave guilt free.

If they are cool with it and you still feel guilty than that's kind of a different post. More "I will feel so guilty. What should I do?"

If they resist, that doesn't necessarily mean you shouldn't go or that you should feel guilty. That's where it defaults to what @scrappinginontario said above.