Am I A Horrible Mother?????

[disneymom3]

I have gone with a baby, I have gone with a toddler, preschooler, school age child-you name it. Anthing but a teen 'cause I don't have one of those yet. I loved all the ages of the kids. Some times were harder than others. (Okay, the year we went with a one yo and a two yo was a tough one!) However, if my MIL offerrred to take my kids for the week AND pay half the trip I would do it in a heartbeat!

LOL! I don't think you are a horrible mother at all! But as so many others have said, don't do it if you will just feel guilty. If you can value it as some much needed alone time with DH and know that little guy will be well taken care of and having fun being spoiled by G'ma, then go for it. Figure you can check things out and decide what your top priorities are for when you do go back with DS.

 

[Kramer]

didn't know Kramer had a kid

He's the Junior K-Man

 

[jesszac610]

GO For IT!!!!! You never know when you'll have this opportunity again! If guilt really starts to set it, shorten your trip to like 4 days or so! I honestly believe couples need to have their own time! ENJOY!

 

[shondad]

I can understand your dilemna, I myself enjoy my private time with my DH. The most time we have had together, alone, (since the birth of our first child, April 1999) was in July 2005, 3 whole days! What a joy. Our next "alone-time" period is for a 4 day cruise in December 2005. It took a whole lot of doing to get my mom to agree to watch our two kids for that length of time. (I would never trust my MIL to keep my kids for any length of time (one second) let alone 3 days to a week.

I say all of this to say, in my opinion, I think you should go, just the two of you, and enjoy. I wish I had someone I trusted enough to keep my kids, to offer to keep them, some of us aren't so lucky. However if you have a guilty conscience, and will worry and feel bad about leaving the baby then take him. Make a decision you can live with, after all is said and done, you can't turn the clock back and redo it. (I don't think I've helped at all.) But...

What ever you decide, HAVE FUN!!!!!!!!!

 

[Nancyg56]

I would ask your DH how he feels about your Mom's suggestion. Either way, your little one will have a great time. My DD and SIL would agonize about leaving my beautiful GD with us, missing her so much. She was having the time of her life, being loved and pampered by her Nana and Pa. She was so little, but she asked to stay with us at least once a week. This January, we are all going to AKL together. My Sister IL will be joining us, and we are looking forward to experienceing the magic through the eyes of a four year old princess. My DD and SIL are looking forward to being able to leave the little one with us at times so they can enjoy some activities that they would not have the opportunity to if they did not have us on the trip. Ask your Mom to accompany you, and I can almost guarentee that all of you will enjoy the best of both worlds... adult activities and leisure time, as well as watching your little boys eyes light up. My DD has already set the expectation that she and her DH want to spend some time as a family, and I have set the expectation that I want to take the culinary tour at AKL. She is not coming to the Princess tea, this treat is for Nana and GD along with a special aunt, We are not going to Sea World. Someone will always be available to take a nap with our sleepy princess. WE had run into a young couple who came with IL's, and they were so happpy for the help, that we decided that it would work well for us.I know that this is long, but I think that parents need to follow their hearts. Children love being with their loving GP's or going on a trip with Mommy and Dad, and will really benefit if Grandma was there to round out the family.

 

[traci]

We are taking our 22 month old and 9 month old. Are we crazy????

Good-Luck whatever you decide!

 

[THEDISFANS]

GO HAVE FUN.

 

[MinnieMom]

You absolutely have to do what makes you comfortable. Neither decision would make you a bad mom.

I took dd when she was only 22 months for the first time and she has been back 3 times since! She's now 5. We are going in March '06 and Ds is only going to be 19 months.

So, I know all about it being a bit more difficult with the little ones along, but I personally couldn't imagine having a Disney vacation without my kids. I could see going to an island somewhere with DH for our anniversary or something, but just not Disney. I personally would feel much too guilty going somewhere that I know the kids would enjoy and not taking them along.

It is a bit more difficult with toddlers, but dd did always enjoy herself even if she got worn out and had to take a nap. IMO, it was still so worth it. I love looking back on the pictures and even if she doesn't remember it, I'm just proud of the fact that we have the pics to show her in years to come that she was always a part of our family vacations.

 

[mjh8955]

Our first trip to WDW was when DD was 4 or 5 and she doesn't remember a thing. Your little guy won't remember being there. Grandma, however, will heap oodles of love on him. She won't be around forever. Our children have grown up without grandparents. At 11 and 14 they would gladly trade any of the Disney Trips we've given them for some time with a grandma or grandpa that they never got to know. DH had to go to a conference in at Anaheim when our kids were 9 and 12. I hired my daughter's favorite teacher to stay with the kids for a few days. She was young, single, pretty, and fun. Our kids didn't even ask to go with us. They had a blast with her and were the envy of the whole school for getting to have Miss Johnson live with them. We had a great time alone. We stayed at the Disneyland Hotel and a few steps out the door I was in Downtown Disney. Wow. I was in Disney Heaven. I love our family Disney trips but being without kids for a few days was totally relaxing and therapeutic!

 

[Lizzybee]

My kids are older and already "hooked" on Disney, I don't think I'd be able to go without them until they are grown and out of the house. Since your little one is such a little one, he won't even know you went to Disney and he didn't and if he does, he wouldn't "get it". If I left my kids with my mom to go to Disney at these ages (7 and 11) they whine like puppies until I got back and then for another month or two after I got back ug: . I guess what I'm saying is maybe now is the perfect time if you won't feel guilty (and I don't think you should) . My vote goes with buy your Mom a big bouquet of flowers in gratitude and graciously accept her offer.

 

[julia & nicks mom]

My DS turns 2 on Sunday and he is taking his 3rd WSW trip in October - my daughter will turn 4 just after our trip and it will be her 5th trip

I can't not even explain to you seeing WDW through your child's eyes - I spent our trip last October crying at how much they loved it - the wonder and excitement was amazing - and my 14 month old made sure I didn't miss a thing - he was constantly pulling on my hand and pointing things out

I always think the he won't remember it argument is ridiculous - don't you play with him at home, don't you read to him? By that theory - why do those things until they are old enough to remember? Because it becomes a part of them!!

I am not saying you are a bad mom if you don't take him but I really think you will be sad - espeically when you see other children his age having the time of their life!

ask your mom if you can take her up on her offer for a long romantic weekend!

 

[disneygirl1977k]

WOW, I cannot believe the response I have gotten, and TONS AND TONS OF GREAT IDEAS AND SUPPORT...The things that I have read and thought about the most are: This will probably be the last time my DH and I can do this trip alone, (we are going in March and August next year), he isn't old enough to know what he is missing and he thinks my mom hung the moon so he would have just as fun with her, I can kind of get an idea of things for him to do for when we take him in March, and what really got me is the post about grandma won't always be around, so this will be his special time with her, I think that one got me the most...so true, I would give up every disney trip I ever took and the ones coming up, for one more week with my grandfather, he was my world and nothing could take the place of that special time...You guys have given me a lot to think about and made me feel so good about my decision...We are going alone, I also think the fact that I am already planning March's trip has made this decision not so hard, I had to switch gears in my head from taking DS to just my DH and I...I am now getting excited about it....thanks for all of the support you guys, I was shocked when I went to check this post and saw this much response....Thanks again guys, you give better advice than most of my friends...
Kristy

 

[Kramer]

Why not take your mom along on the trip and let her babysit for you in Disney? Then you can have the best of both worlds.

 

[Kramer]

Our first trip to WDW was when DD was 4 or 5 and she doesn't remember a thing. Your little guy won't remember being there. Grandma, however, will heap oodles of love on him. She won't be around forever.Our children have grown up without grandparents. At 11 and 14 they would gladly trade any of the Disney Trips we've given them for some time with a grandma or grandpa that they never got to know.

Very true, but if a two year old won't remember a trip to Disney then its not likely that he'll remember a week with Grandma either.

A better idea would be to take her son to Disney and then let him stay with Grandma for a week after they get back from the trip. Then Grandma gets a nice visit and Mom and Dad get some free time and the baby still got to go to Disney.

 

[TZMOM]

I'd go w/my husband. Your Mom is right. Plus, he'll have a blast being spoiled the whole week w/her. Go & have a great time by yourselves. How often does a chance like this come up?????

 

[shoney]

Go and have a great time!

 

[IwannaseeMickey]

Drop him off and RUN! You may never get this chance again...we have a 5 and almost 3 yr old and the ONLY time we've gotten away was when the 5 yr old was 18 months and that was to Vegas for 3 days. These chances don't often come along for everyone...take it and GO GO GO!

 

[Martha7]

We used to live in Florida, and October can still be pretty hot and uncomfortable. I have memories of the kids in their Halloween costumes, sweating to death! I agree that you should take this trip with DH, and the trip in March with all of you. The relationship that a child has with a grandparent is so important! They get the love of another adult who isn't their parent, and it goes a long way towards building their self-esteem and trust in others. I also think your Mom will appreciate that you trust her with your DS! I think it's a good situation for all! Be prepared, however, that you may feel emotional upon saying goodbye. When we left my two DSs with my in-laws, while we went on a business/pleasure trip to Cancun for five days, I cried when I had to leave them! They did fine, and only complained about staying with the grandparents when they became preteens. (Grandparents are somewhat strict about cleaning the plates, no too much TV, the usual!) While they were very young, however, it was great! Have a wonderful trip!

 

[Disney_1derland]

NO, of course you aren't a horrible mother. We took our DD's when they were 4 and 5, they don't remember one thing about that trip. So there is no way your 2 year old will remember whether he went or not.

This is not true for our child. We took her the first time at 13 months and it's now 4 years later and she remembers a LOT about that trip. We never showed her pictures, she never saw videos or anything. But she remembers it. When we went last November she would tell us 'remember when we ate here last time' 'remember when I rode dumbo the first time' things like that. She definitely remembers.

To the OP, Go now by yourselves when he is young, it's harder to do as they get older. Dh and I never had a honeymoon and have never been anywhere without the children. Now at age 5 and 3 we are taking an alone trip and it's hard to do because they would be jealous and upset if they knew where we were going. They think we're going to Orlando on business(we sort of are) and just stopping at WDW for a night or two(more like 8).

If you will feel bad the whole time then take him with you. You'll just ruin your own trip. Otherwise, go, be guilt free, by him lots of cool souvenirs and have a blast!

 

[HappyLawyer]

here are my thoughts, as a parent you need time alone, without the kids, i would say go and enjoy yourself and leave the kid behind
now in reality you are talking to a mom that never leaves her kid anywere, a night away from home is a big deal to me. think i would want to leave my dtr home, but i don't know if i could. Perhaps if you two went somewhere more adult-Hawaii, or somplace romantic you would not feel guilty i think when most of us think florida we expect to take our kids, good luck in your decision.