Am I A Horrible Mother?????

[kcmyluv]

I think you need to decide what works best for you. I know some parents don't have a probelm leaving their children over night, others do. Also if you will be flying how do you feel about flying without him? You need to make sure you have things in order, in case, god forbid something were to happen. We took out twins their this past April, they were 13 months old, it was awesome! A lot of work, but well worth it. If we would not have brought them we would have been thinking, oh I wonder what the boys would have thought of that, or we would have seen a kid about they age and really missed them. Have you ever thought about bringing your mom with? That's what we did. Then hubby and I could go out alone. I vote for you to bring him with. You will have a blast.

 

[scanne]

I've purposely refused to go to Disney the last few years until my youngest was old enough to really enjoy it. She won't even know she's at Disney at 2 years old.

I would have to disagree on this based on my own experience with my kids.

But first off, to the OP, you're not a horrible mother either way you go. If you want some time alone with DH, then go for it. If you want to include your little man, then bring him along! I know that doesn't help, but I think you should do what feels right in your heart.

Back to my above statement.

My DS's first trip to WDW was when he was 1. He had just turned 1 on 8/8/03 and we went on 8/10/03 for a week. He had a great time, loved the characters and shows and all the rides we took him on. His second trip was in February 04 when he was 18 months. Again he loved everything he did when he was one and was a bit more verbal and expressed his joy to us. His next trip was in Oct. 04 and he was a little over 2. This was also his sister's first trip. She was 3 months. Well, imagine my surprise when we walked by Casey's on this trip and he pointed to it and said "French Fries in there, Mommy!" Well, he was remembering back to when he was one and my mom and dad had him in Casey's on the bleachers by the TV eating french fries! So on some level, they will remember things. We just returned from a trip a couple of weeks ago. My DS is now 3 and knows everything about Disney. He knows the names of all the different parks and he knows that the Haunted Mansion is in the MK, that the computers are in Epcot (we took him to Innoventions east and west), that the "Wizard of Oz" ride (Great Movie Ride) is at MGM and that Dinosaur in at AK. He also knows the names of the hotels he's stayed at. He has many memories from his trips and has a genuine love of Disney. My DD is a little over 1, but knows her princesses. She had a wonderful time on the trip as well. Both kids love the characters and parades and shows. DD especially loves It's a Small World and the Tiki Room.

Anyway, back to the OP's question. Make your decision based on what YOU want to do. Only you know how you will feel either with your son or if you leave him home. Good luck making your decision and have a magical trip no matter what!

 

[aunt2brant]

While I do not have any children... my aunt and uncle are doing just what your mom has suggested. My aunt and uncle have 3 children: DD 10, DS 3, DS 1.5, my aunt is a SAHM who NEVER (and I mean never) leaves her house, she stays home with the kids ALL of the time. Her DD (from previous marriage) has been to WDW several times, so she is feeling zero guilt in taking a 'mom and dad only' trip.
This is going to be a regain mom's sanity/2nd honeymoon/adult only/her taking my uncle for the first time trip that the two of them desperately need.

I realize that what works for one family does not work for others. I also know that you have to be comfortable with your decision. As for your question...no, you will not be labeled as a 'bad mother', at least by those of us whose opinion is important (ha ha)...but you may get backlash from friends and family, be prepared for that

 

[dyna]

Not a HORRIBLE mom by any means.

I didn't read this whole thread but more than half

How about mom goes too. I think that is a GREAT idea not only would it give you and hubby time alone in parks. But offer mom time alone in parks or maybe hubby would watch the kid a few hours while you and mom went did something together.

My mom NEVER offered to watch mine at all she was there if I REALLY needed her but she was not gonna watch gkids just to watch them either. DH's family was out of the question.

I went at the kid swapping from a different angle entirely. I have 2 DD's very close in age then I had another one 12 yrs later. What we did was took turns. DD's got to do what they wanted for a couple hours and DH and I did what we wanted for a couple hours then we'd do family things we all could enjoy for a couple hours. That worked fairly well. Did not do disney tho but other amusement parks.

My older DD's will tell you they remember very little of their disney visits when they was 6 & 7 and 7 & 8. That said what is even sadder due to illness my DD now 15 remembers nothing of her disney visits between the ages of 7 and 13. She's been 10 times but doesn't remember anything about any of them.

 

[ArielsMommy]

We have taken 2 trips to WDW without our DD. We are very lucky in that both sets of grandparents live nearby and playfight about who gets to take DD next. Our first trip was great, but our last trip was hard. DD (3 1/2) was very clingy to us and had a hard time at bedtime in a new surrounding. Plus, DH was sick and feeling guilty that DD was having a hard time. So, we checked out a day early and came home. Luckily, we live only an hour and a half away and have seasonal AP's so we can go back whenever we want. HTH

 

[Skylarr29]

You are in no way a bad mom. The most valuble thing you can give your child is to nurture the relationship between you and his father. When you reconect with hubby you guys will be more refreshed when you return. As long as you trust your mom with him (and I am assuming you do because she raised you) teh you should go. He probably will not remember the trip although you would still be making memories as a family. I think you can go this year and take him next year when he will enjoy it more and everyone wins.

 

[tommygirl79]

First of all, don't feel guilty either way. There is no right or wrong, black and white answer to this. You just have to decide what you really WANT!!! A couple of things to weigh in your mind (keep in mind that I have a 4 1/2 yr old and a 2 yr old myself).

Like others have said, first think of what things would be different if you went alone as a couple or with your 2 yr old. As a couple you could stay out late at night riding rides. Eat out wherever you want without having a schedule. One big thing is not having to take a stroller, diaper bag, etc. You could stay on a flexible schedule and go on YOUR timing. If that sounds like a dream world and is something you want to do at Disney in the next 16 yrs then I say GO FOR IT NOW WHILE YOU HAVE A CHANCE!!!

After thinking that through, then picture being at WDW with your 2 yr old. I do not agree with what other posters have said about not taking little kids. Although my 2 yr old won't remember the trip we took in Feb when she was 18 months, I CERTAINLY will. Both of our girls were ANGELS the whole trip and we never had even one breakdown. Even the 18 month old seemed to know that this was a special time. They both fell asleep in strollers when they were tired and we got to do some "adult" stuff while they were asleep. A 2 yr old will certainly enjoy some things but it will definitely limit that amount of things that you can do and rides you can ride. My parents went with us in Feb. and I think that was the best of both worlds because we got to go out one night and they watched the kids and then they went out Valentine's night just the two of them as well. We also then were able to baby swap and still have someone to ride rides with. If your mom would want to or could go with you, like others have said, that might be a good option - she could watch your 2 yr old as much as you wanted her to (or as little) but you wouldn't go days on end missing your child either which I think would be the main problem.

One last note, if you REALLY want a romantic trip with DH at WDW in the next decade or so NOW IS THE TIME TO TAKE IT....not after you have already taken them. We have always talked about going to WDW/Disney Cruise for our 10th anniverary in 2009 and now since our 4 yr old will remember it, we will either have to take them along or save a bunch extra and take an extra trip with them as she would DIE if we went without her!

If you need anything else, just ask! I'm sure you'll make the right decision...don't stress over it...you get to make a wonderful choice either way that many wish they had to make!!!!

 

[3crazymice]

Like others have said, whatever you decide you are not a bad mother. That being said. I agree with the poster that said you will probablly be sad when you see other two year olds having fun. This will be my son'e 5th trip and he's 3. It's been over a year since we went and he has very specific memories of the trip (like losing his shoe on a ride). So don't decide based on what other people tell you they will or won't remeber or enjoy. Do whatever your family (you your husband and son) thinks feels right. And Have fun!

 

[MandM-Mom]

We went in May with DD4, we were suppose to bring DD1 with us too but my mother offered to keep her so we could do the rides and things with her. I thought it would be very hard to leave DD1, but we were okay. We of course missed her completely but she wasn't walking yet so we thought it would be strain on her. we still had a great time and don't wish we did it any other way!

But back to you question, I would absolutely love to get away with just DH....Things are so busy when you have children, you need some time for yourselves too. It will be hard but you will enjoy yourself.

 

[GeorgiaAristocat]

I'm jumping in - although I seriously doubt you need more input. I echo tommygirl79 in that there is no right or wrong answer.

That said, I will state that I am coming from a biased perspective in that my husband and I are going the last week of September by ourselves and leaving the 14 month old and his sister, who will be 2 wks shy of 3 behind. I admit, I planned it that way. In so doing, I went through MONTHS of the guilt/no guilt inner debate you are feeling. I finally consoled myself with the thought that I planned this trip for US while simultaneously planning the next trip for THEM, and already plan on going May of '07 unless I can get husband to agree to sooner (some pixie dust from all of you closest 77,000 friends might help there!) Maybe it was easier for me to plan this for just the adults b/c neither of us has been to Disney since we were kids. Nor have we EVER left them behind before. Don't believe me? read my Pre-pre trip report.

I KNOW I would love to see my daughter's eyes when she sees the princesses at this age. She is already asking to see Mickey. I also KNOW that she freezes whenever she encounters large animals (like Bugs Bunny, Geoffrey the Giraffe, etc.) and has no patience for lines at all. I think she will still find it magical at four, and the second planned trip is, at most, an additional 18 months away. Oh, yeah, and my son will be much more ready then, too. I get hives thinking about taking him in his current "can't sit still for more than 2 minutes, must run, run, run" state.

Good luck with your decision. I would like to have taken a grandmother with us for the precise reasons listed by numerous previous posters. Problem is, we would have to take my mother-in-law and not my mother, which makes it less palatable. Of course, my mother would be less palatable to my husband. The most palatable option for us was to go by ourselves!

 

[umaangel00]

I am going to take the other side here. Please don't flame me. I personally couldn't go to Disney without my children (if I had any). I just couldn't break my child's heart when I tell them I am going to Disney but you can't go. How terrible is that! Even if you don't say anything, when you get back with all sorts of souvies they will know. Now granted your child is only 2 but still. As for the ride issue, you can still go on all the rides you want. You can just let DH go on first and you watch your child and then swap out when he is done. Disney even offers this service. Othewise, offer for your MIL to go with you.

 

[daisy_77]

OMG!! That is the same situation I was in back in April when my DH and I were planning our trip for November. We were planning on taking our DD who will be 1 y.o. at the time of the trip. My mom said that Maddie could stay with her for the week and we can go alone. At first I was totally against it, and felt really bad for even considering not taking her. But then I thought this will probably be the last time we can go to Disney by ourselves. Once our little one knows what Disney World is, we will never be able to go alone again, at least not until she is a young woman. So, I decided to take up my mom's offer.

I think that you should decide what is right for you and your son. If you cannot imagine a trip to Disney without him and won't have a good time, take him.

And....you are not a bad mother for even considering it! You're a great mother for thinking about your son and caring enough to start a thread on the boards about it!

 

[loles]

Good Morning guys,
OK I have a question, my DH and I were taking our 2 yo DS to Disney the first week of October for his first trip to WDW...however, last night my mother and I were talking and she said you know, you two have never taken a trip just the two of you since your honeymoon (6 years ago)...she offered to keep my DS for the week and let us go to WDW and enjoy it alone and offered to pay his preschool for the week (most of you know you still have to pay even if they are out) and pay half the trip?????? What do I do??? I was really looking forward to taking my little man to Disney, but she also brought up a lot of good points, having to leave mid-day for naps, not riding a lot of stuff we enjoy and she said take him next year when he is 3 and he will enjoy it more???? WHAT DO I DO..........I COULDN'T SLEEP LAST NIGHT BECAUSE ALL I COULD THINK ABOUT WAS WHAT TO DO??????? AM I A HORRIBLE MOTHER BECAUSE I WOULD ACTUALLY AGREE TO THIS?????? HELP ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
KRISTY

Of course you are not a horrible mother. If you think you will feel guilty, take Mom with you! She can help with childcare, and you and hubby can really enjoy yourselves, especially in pm. We are planning a trip with grandma for next year with our two dds (4 and 18mths) and can't wait!

Have a great time!

 

[disneyfreak74]

Hey!! We are planning the next trip to be "KID FREE"!!!! And I don't think I will feel guilty!! Everything else I do day to day is centered around my 2 kids!! It will do you good to have a break!!!

 

[Catie'sMama]

I am taking the other side here. Disney is all about kids...whether you're young or just young at heart. I think that everytime you see a little boy your son's age with his hair color or acting in a certain manner, you will think of your little boy and what it would have been like to take him to see Mickey (or in our case Pooh!). We have taken our daughter to Mexico for vacation when she was almost 11 months and 23 months. Both times, multiple people commented on how much they missed their child and wished they would have brought them, and that wasn't even Disney World...just the beach.

Granted you can't go hard-core Disney, but sometimes life is just about taking it slow and examining a lizard crawling up a pole...granted the Castle is right behind them. Maybe your son will remember, maybe not...but YOU will, you will always carry with you the amazment in his eyes. And the pics!

We are taking our almost 2.5 DD in a few weeks; her second time-first was at 9 months when she LOVED It's a Small World and Figment. Yes, there will be challenging moments and the huge potential for overload and meltdown, but the fact that everyday we talk about who we're going to eat breakfast with-POOH! For me, the "recharging" part will be not having to do dishes, pick up toys, make beds (wait I don't do that anyway-no who's a bad mother?), a break from work, etc.

If your mom is serious about watching your son, how about taking a long weekend at a nearby Bed and Breakfast?

Good Luck with your decision.

 

[AnaheimGirl]

Kristy,
Why don't you ask your mom to come too? And then you can get some alone time with your dh and also experience WDW through your 2 year olds eyes?

This is a fantastic idea!

 

[Rex Rules]

Wow, are you lucky!

First of all you aren't a bad mother. It is ok to go on a trip without your child. In fact, it is great. If Mother is offering to pay half, I would definitely take her up on it.

Then you can take your child back another time.

Enjoy the time with your DH!!

 

[jj1403]

We'll if your a horrible mother then we are definately sharing a boat!! Because of the free dinning we are lucky enough to be going in September. My mother has offered to watch my DD 2 for a 5 days while my husband and I go by ourselves. My DH and I thought about it quite a bit since we've never left her for that long. We finaly decided that we needed some time for "us" too. And that we shouldn't feel guilty about leaving our DD with my mom. I know that my DD is going to have a great time with grandma and grandpa. And they'll probably spoil her rotten which I'll have to fix when we get back!!!

Don't beat yourself up about spending time alone with your spouse. Every couple needs their alone time!!

 

[Kramer]

You are definitely NOT a horrible mother if you go without your son.

BUT... I would feel a little guilty if I left my little guy home. My son will be 2 next month and we have taken him to Disney four times so far... when he was 6 weeks old, 6 months old, 1 year old, and 18 months old. We enjoyed the first two trips, but he was not anywhere near old enough to get anything out of it. The last two trips (12 months and 18 months) where the best two trips we ever had to Disney... and that includes the 6 trips my wife and I made before he was born.

Starting at a year old, my son had such a blast with the characters and going on the kids. Those memories are priceless and I am so glad we decided to bring him at that age.

Its a personal choice... just do what feels right to you and you will be fine. Enjoy your trip!!

 

[oogieboogie]

didn't know Kramer had a kid