Am I A Horrible Mother?????

[kdtwiss]

I agree you would not be a horrible mom at all.
I also think tho- that even if your ds does not remember the trip - you would. You would remember that little two year old delight in his eyes! Also this year he is free to get in parks and free to eat buffets. I think taking your mom would be a great idea! I think the enjoyment you will get out of seeing your little one enjoying Disney is just so precious! You have a tough decision to make! How do you feel now about your trip? From your ticker it seemed you were very excited - do you feel as excited at the prospect of going w/o ds? If so - go for it and have fun!

 

[milmore104]

You are NOt a horrible mommy. We all have to make those HARD decisions. I'm currently trying to decide if I should send my little one to Kindergarten or hold her back a year. Why not ask your mom to come along for the trip. She will have a ball and you can have some time w/ DH while she watches your DS. It is a very hard decision to make. Dh and I took a day trip to a Six Flags when our DD was about 2 and we talked about her the whole time and ended up leaving earlier becuase we felt so guilty. And as an added not our DD was 2 the last time we went to WDW and she does remember most of the trip. She amazes me how much she does remember so don't think her won't remember anything. (she is now almost 5). Have a magical trip.

 

[ToTLaugher]

You're not a horrible mother! You need time to recharge with hubby.

If Disney sounds too long or too far to try for your first trip alone take DS and have a wonderful time. Then maybe you could go somewhere near home for a weekend getaway to have your recharge time. I know that I find nearby trips much easier to handle than trips that are further away. We do go to Disney alone and enjoy it greatly but I got used to the idea by doing weekends nearby.

 

[HeatherPage]

I third the suggestion of seeing if your mom can come with you, you'll have the best of both worlds. I'm one of those moms who couldn't leave her child home while at Disney World (I've done it plenty of times before he was here so to me, now it's his time there). And to those that say he/she won't remember at two what they saw...all I gotta say is you underestimate kids' memories/intelligence. We were watching a travel show recently where they were showing part of Illuminations at Epcot - I said to my son (who is 3 1/2) do you remember seeing that show (he saw it back when he was still 2) he said "Yeah, I stood on the trashcan and watched it with my daddy". (I remembered I went to go get something to eat at the Tangierene Cafe and when I came back Illuminations had started and my husband was holding him while my son stood on one of the trash cans near the lake to watch). That was over a year ago when he was in his twos...and he's always talking about what we did on our last trip (which was last September) so trust me, they do remember. Okay, I'll stop babbling now. Seriously, if you're torturing yourself this much over the decision, I think it's because you were really wanting to take your son with you (and to one of the other posters - yes they will know they are at Disney World at 2).

 

[babar41]

Only a great Mom would question if she was a horrible mother for thinking about going to WDW without her 2 yr old.

I am a firm believer of quality alone time for parents. It recharges your batteries and makes you better, more tolerant, more patient parents.

No matter which way you choose, it will be the right decision. If you go without your child you will miss him ( I use to say going somewhere without my daughters was like leaving my right arm at home. I always felt a bit out of balance!), but you will take joy knowing he is safe and happy and building memories with his grandmother. If you take him you will look lovingly at some rides knowing you can't ride them (unless you and DH ride seperately) because he is just too small to ride but you will take joy in looking at his face and all the magic that will show there.

If it were me (and in fact I did this when my girls were young), I would take your Mom up on her offer. Ride all the "big people" rides you want and take notes for where you would like to take your son next year.

No matter what you decide, have a magical visit!

 

[asaj]

I don't think it'd be a horrible thing. If your son is anything like my daughter, he'll have almost as much fun staying with Grandma as he would at WDW.

IMHO, I dont think kids can thoroughly enjoy WDW until they are closer to 4 anyway. Now, I know a lot of people will disagree, and I am not saying kids under that age won't like it. I am just saying take your son next year, or the year after, and I think he'll get more out of it, and you and your husband can take advantage of this very rare opportunity.

Just my opinion.

Andy

 

[MonkeyPants]

are you a bad mother...no...but your mom is for having put you in a position to make such a choice



all kidding aside, tough call. I was down in June with my 2 yr old nephew and it was unlike any trip I have taken before. I did none of the rides I normally would love. Left in the middle of the day for his naps, something that was definitely new to me. Totally different from any trip to Disney I had ever had but it was still great, seeing the magic of the park through his eyes was like seeing it again for the 1st time.

The real question isn't if you are a bad mom or not. Obviously you arent. The question is can you relax and enjoy the trip or will you keep thinking about your son and feel too guilty to enjoy the trip? Also consider will your son remember the trip? My parents were taking us from the time we were tiny. One of my sisters doesnt remember the early trips at all, one does. My nephew talks about it all the time, he remembers what the different characters were doing in the parades, he remembers which rides were close together. So each kid is going to be different of course. Does he already know you are planning on going. With my newphew he has a memory like steal trap you tell him he is going somewhere or that an event is coming up and he remembers, he knows we are taking him back down in november and talks about it all the time. And he's not even 3 yet Kid is going to be smarter than his parents before he is 10 I must say tough that is a heck of an offer from your mother and its no wonder you are tempted to jump on it

on a side note, its his day of preschool today and I wish I were to see him off.

 

[FromVatoDisney]

Take mom along! Will a 2 yr old remember it? No, but does he have an AWESOME time while he's there? YES! I think since you planned this with your child included, you might not enjoy it as much without him there. But with mom along, you can DH can go your own way for dinner, etc without any of the guilt. Mom sounds like she'd enjoy spending time there with her grandchild.

hi there pennst8r. aw: aw: aw: I just sent you a PM.

love from another pennstater (one of the ones who was your roomate senior year, who you graduated H.S. with, whose wedding you were... gee any idea who I am yet?)

 

[fiveforall]

MY DH and I have enjoyed Disney World alone and it was wonderful. I think going on trips alone have made us much better partners and parents. If you are like me, opportunities to just spend time with your spouse are few and far between. Go, enjoy! You can always go back with your child at a later date!

 

[Amy&Dan]

I'll just add what everybod else has said, follow your heart! Each way would have its advantages and disadvantages. I know my Dh and I didn't take an "alone"trip until we had been married 11 years because my mother would never keep the kids and dh's mother is unable. Anyway, it was way too long! We couldn't believe how nice it was and how sad it was it took that long to finally make it happen!

Good luck with your decision and one thought, all that "alone" time might give your two year old a new brother or sister in the near future!! Talk about a souveneir to remember...

 

[Tnkrbelle565]

YOU are SO NOT a horrible mother...and if you are, I am too. My mom has kept my daughter so DH and I could enjoy Disney alone in the past and is doing it again in a few weeks. DD will only be 22 months when we go and (no flames here) we still believe that she's a little young for Disney. I know a lot of families take little ones and have a blast...but I know my kid enough to know that she would be a nightmare at this age. This is the perfect opportunity for you and your husband to have a little (and probably much needed) break and to enjoy some of the "adult" aspects of Disney.

That being said...yes you will miss him terribly, yes you will look at other children around that age and miss him more, and if you are anything like my DH, you will spend a lot of time "interviewing" other parents about their children (how old they are, how the trip is going, and if they think that their child is at a good age for Disney, etc, etc)!!!

We plan on bringing DD to Disney next year, along with some similar aged cousins, and my mom (my lifesaver!).

My only suggestion is that you throw out your mom's idea of not taking afternoon breaks...If you are anything like us and spend all day and night running around after a toddler, you are going to need (and want) the opportunity to take a nap (which you probably haven't been able to do since you were pregnant!)

GO AND HAVE FUN!!!

 

[adisneymama]

Why not compromise with your mom. Go ahead and take your little on on this trip since you were looking forward to it anyway. Then maybe plan a special trip or weekend for you and your dh for later on. Let your mom keep your little boy then. I love taking dd to Disney and can't imagine not taking her. We don't go back to the room for naps. She sleeps in the stroller while dh and I do some shopping and we also use the baby swap and still get to ride everything we want. DD is 3 now and has been to Disney when she was 14 mos and 2. We leave in 3 wks and I can't imagine being there without her. I would be so sad!

 

[DannyDisneyFreak]

Yes, you are a horrible mother and person, how dare you and your DH want to enjoy a trip together! JUST KIDDING! My DW and I are going alone and leaving our DD who will be two with my mom-in-law.

 

[ryanmilla]

Kristy,
Why don't you ask your mom to come too? And then you can get some alone time with your dh and also experience WDW through your 2 year olds eyes?

I agree, see if mom would be willing to go with you. I have been to WDW countless times growing up, but my favorite time was taking my DD for her first trip when she was 2. Seeing the parks through her eyes was something I will never forget. And will she remember it, maybe not in 20 years. But our DD remembered it up to her next trip a year later. We filmed everything and burned it to a DVD and she watched it everyday for the first few months when we came back, so yes she remembered it.

Like others, I'm a firm believer in alone time with the spouse, but if you have been planning the trip for your 2 yr old, you will be thinking of that the whole time. Also, have you told your DS about the trip yet? If he knows, he might be sad realizing he is not going anymore.

But if mom comes along, that will allow her to see the park through DS's eyes as well, not to mention spending time with him and allowing you and DH to go out at night or hit some of the rides that DS can not go on. And if she doesn't want to go, then make a deal to do another trip, even if it is only a long weekend.

But in the end, like others have said, you are not a bad mom by any means.

 

[gigi1313]

Kristy,
Why don't you ask your mom to come too? And then you can get some alone time with your dh and also experience WDW through your 2 year olds eyes?

that is my suggestion too! since you were already planning on paying for the trip, and mom offered to pay half, if she just pays her own way, you're good to go and truly have the best of both worlds... some disney w/your ds and some couple time w/your dh! what could be bad about that?!

whatever your decision, ENJOY!

 

[Goofyta]

Since he is only 2 and you guys have not had time alone for 6 years, I would leave him with your mother and enjoy the time together. It is very important to stay connected to each other.

 

[CharmedLife]

I agree with bringing along mom. Otherwise every time you see a little 2-year-old boy you are going to be sad and wish that he was there with you. I've gone down to Orlando for work and even just going to a resort to walk around and kill some time, I'm sad every time I see kids having fun, wishing that mine were with me.

DH and I went on a "no-kid" trip for our 5-year-anniversary when my daughter was ~1, and we wound up leaving early because we missed her so much (we were in a resort area and seeing all of the kids made us think about her constantly).

So, I guess my advice would be along the lines of others on this board - ask yourself if you're going to be sad / guilty while there. It's a pretty expensive place to have a guilt trip... see if your "sitter" will come along, too - then you get the best of both!

 

[DznyLvr2005]

Did you tell them about the trip already and now are going to change your mind? How old are they and have they ever been there before? My future parents-in-law were supposed to take their grandkids to DW but then decided to go by themsleves. When they got there, they said "it's just no fun without the kids". So they regretted not taking them... You can go either way on this. Maybe take 2 trips, but for the first one, take them with you. Go again next May (good time to go) Just some suggestions...

 

[C.Ann]

That offer is way too good to pass up! Go.. Nothing to feel guilty about as I'm sure your 2 year old doesn't even know where you're going..

 

[2nd childhood]

As others have said your 2 yo wouldn't remember a thing and probably would love the attention of an entire week with Grandma. I would suggest to take the trip now without him while he's only 2 because the later you wait you may not get another opportunity to enjoy a getaway with only your husband especially if you're planning on having more children later on.
Go and enjoy yourself and be sure to pick up some suovenirs for him.