Am I a bad mother? (Lice/hair cuts)

[mommasita]

Hi, Mommasita, this is OT, but my DH is sporting the shaved look...well, for lack of almost any hair, and that method doesn't seem to be working for him. Oh well...

 

[mommasita]

We battled it at my house too. Lice like clean hair. I started putting hairspray on my dd every morning. Once I started doing that the lice problem was solved. That and the fact that my ex husband broke up with his girlfriend. I'm fairly certain my dd was getting it from her kids.

Yes on the hairspray as well. I spray my DD8's ponytail every day for this reason..She really does not need it. I have been told to blow dry the hair (which I hate to do every time I wash it, for a kid) and use hair products.. I would rather use the spray than all these gels on a child..

 

[chris1gill]

Personally at this point, I would completely shave her head... COMPLETELY. You have absolutely nothing to be ashamed of! Absolutely nothing.... If it makes you feel better, in some cultures all children boy/girl get their hair shaved completely when they are babies or very young. It is thought that the hair comes back much fuller. My friend did this with her daughter's and it really wasn't the biggest deal... believe me, shave it all off, not just some....

 

[Worried_Incognito]

Thanks again guys. DH just called - it's done. She fussed a bit and said "leave my hair alone" but he said she wasn't upset, more indignant - can't blame her. Outside of the hair issue, she's also at that age that she doesn't want anyone cramping her style. lol! I can't tell you how adorable and amazing this child is - we are blessed with our 3 children. Absolutely blessed. DH described her hair now as "very very short". I'm getting myself prepared. She's lucky in that she has a beautiful face with huge blue eyes so I think her pretty feminine charm will shine through. I'm gonna hug her and smile and laugh with her a lot this evening.

Florida_Mom, I'm feeling annoyed now as I was assured that lice only live for 24 hours outside of the scalp so that's all it took to 'smother' them in a bag (regarding toys, cushions, coats etc.) but it sounds like that could be the problem. Although the main issue is still the phenomenal rate at which they breed on her head as opposed to the boys heads (or indeed mine or DH's - in all this time DH hasn't had one outbreak and I've had two but it was easy to get shot of them on my head too).

I didn't know about the hairspray - I spray all our heads with a mixture of lavender and tea tree oil each day - apparently it repels the lice.

Because of the belief that they couldn't survive more than 24 hours outside of the scalp I had not had the house professionally fumugated as Lisa_M Suggested but I'm going to arrange it now if they'll do that for lice.

mommasita, thanks for such encouraging words. Katy Belle, bigmerle1966, barkley, Lisa_M, Florida_Mom, lovetoscrap, Erin1700, TEENEE and chris1gill - thanks a million.

The next month will be spent checking, irradicating, cleaning, boiling, fumugating, whatever it takes so that by end of June this house WILL (I'm determined) be lice-free and then, I hope and pray, that by the time DD turns 4 next March she'll have a luscious head of gorgeous lice-free hair once more.

I can't tell you all how much better I feel for having shared this and for having read the responses.

 

[bigmerle1966]

The bed clothes including pillow cases and the pillows themselves are changed every day and boiled - all of them, not just DD's and we've found the best thing to do with the toys is seal them in a bag for 24 hours and it smothers any lice or eggs. We have the clothes dryer on constantly here as our weather has been so poor lately. Thanks for the post. I know it wasn't a flame - I'm less sensitive than I come across on that post.

Katy Belle, thanks, much appreciated.

Actually I was being the sensitive one.

And as some people have posted it could be something else you are not thinking of. Here is something I found

Wash contaminated items. Wash bedding, stuffed animals, clothing and hats with hot, soapy water — at least 130 F — and dry them at high heat for at least 20 minutes.

Seal unwashable items. Place them in an airtight bag for two weeks.
Vacuum. Give the floor and furniture a good vacuuming.

Cover furniture. Use a plastic painter's dropcloth to cover furniture for two weeks to prevent acquiring another case of lice. Do this only if you don't have toddlers who may risk suffocation if they become tangled in a plastic sheet.

Wash combs and brushes. Use very hot, soapy water — at least 130 F — or soak them in rubbing alcohol for an hour.

 

[chris1gill]

Oh, your last report reminds me of something that happened this year in my sons 6th grade class. Apparently the nurse lined up all the kids & was looking at all of them... she got to my son whose hair is about 1/4" -1/2" long on top & spiked with hair gel & she said he had so much gel nothing could live in that ROFL.... I never knew they didn't like gel/hairspray before that happened either, so since your daughter has short hair at the least I'd start using the hairspray!! My DD hasn't had it, but it's only complete luck....

 

[barkley]

when we had an outbreak several years ago i did a google search on lice and found out what chemicals killed them (as well as the nits). i then called a couple of pest extermination places and asked if those chemicals were legal and sold over the counter to the public. i found a couple of 'bug bombs' that while they did'nt list lice as something they worked on, they did contain the chemicals that would kill them/nits.

we ended up doing the max number for the size of our house-spent a couple of nights in a motel (we were nit/louse free). during the days, dh would stay with the kids while i went back and cleaned all the residue from the bombs off the hard surfaces, vaccumed everything else, bagged the stuffed toys, laundered what was needed. very important thing to do-toss out the bags from the vaccume and then store the vaccume outside the house in case any of the critters are inside and decide to crawl back out.

 

[EthansMom]

My DD3 also has beautiful hair (curly with lots of highlights), and I wouldn't hesitate to shave her bald if she had the problem you've described with your daughter.

I know you're upset about her hair, but your DD will feel much better if you tell her how cute her hair looks short and how comfortable it will feel this summer (fib, if you have to). She'll feel less conspicuous about her hair if you act as if it's not a big deal.

Also, have you covered DD's mattress with a large plastic bag? They have the big plastic bags for potty-training. It really seems like DD is getting reexposed and reexposed. Check any and all furniture that she uses more than the boys. And I would look into having the house fumigated also.

...And no, you aren't a bad Mom... just one going through a tremendously trying time!

Good Luck!

 

[Eeyore'sthebest]

We did the whole lice thing for about as long as you. My DSD has horrible psoriasis. Her scalp was horrible with it and we finally figured out that they were burrowing inside the outbreaks. We ended up using a combination of prescriptions for her scalp psoriasis and then immediately following up with lice medicine. It took a while to soften everything up and get it all killed.

I feel your pain. Hopefully this will work. Hugs to you and your DD.

 

[Mkrop]

You are getting some fabulous advice. You will get through this. DS9's class had this probelm twice last year, in the fall and in the spring. It seemd like it only affected the girls, the boys hair was too short, and the girsl were insturcted not to wear their hair down, it was to easy to spread it, to wear their hair up in pony tails or braids. And we were also told that they do not like clean hair, so we were encouraged not to wash their hair.

The info they sent home told to wash everything and bag all stuff animals for 2-3 weeks, clean your carpets, car upholstery, your curtains, everything!

Then as winter approached it stopped and all the kids were fine, well just when it got warm again boom, one of the girls got it. Now this school is K-8 and this classroom was the only room in the entire school affected!!!!! Only one girl in the other second grade got it and she sat next to one of the girls on the bus and that is how she got it (our bus dirver even wiped down her bus everyday for a couple of weeks) Well after this happened the second time, the parents freaked, it turned out they were still in the classroom, they were dormant over the winter, so we demanded that she fumugate the classroom over Easter break. Not a single case for the rest of the year!!!!!!

And there has been none int he school or in that classroom this year either!

Maybe you could "spoil" her tonight without making it a big deal about the haircut, have her favorite dinner and dessert!

 

[Tantor]

Oh , I feel for you. What a nightmare you must be going through.

My dd shaved her head for a different reason but she is fine and doesn't care what people think. (she's 11)
It's just hair and will grow back.

 

[bigmerle1966]

Oh, your last report reminds me of something that happened this year in my sons 6th grade class. Apparently the nurse lined up all the kids & was looking at all of them... she got to my son whose hair is about 1/4" -1/2" long on top & spiked with hair gel & she said he had so much gel nothing could live in that ROFL.... I never knew they didn't like gel/hairspray before that happened either, so since your daughter has short hair at the least I'd start using the hairspray!! My DD hasn't had it, but it's only complete luck....

I've been told by quite a few of my African American co-workers that black people don't usually get lice because of the "grease" they put in their hair.

And just so you all know, my head itches now!

 

[Vivianne]

You doing all you feel is necessary to take care of the problem.

When we were kids in the 60's (5 of us) we bought the lice problem home from school. My mother attacked the problem. Among some of the things she did, the shampoo, the comb, she gave us the "Buster Brown" haircuts. I don't know if you're familiar with that one. Her favorite was having us sit on the floor and killing them one by one.

Just a suggestion if you haven't done so already. Get her a new pillow and wash the sheets in hot water.

 

[SamIAm21]

Dear Worried:

My DD also had that problem and you're right, Lice are more easily able to grasp onto thin, fine hair rather than course hair. Their "claws" can only grip these smaller hair shafts. Had our problem persisted, I would have cut all her hair off as low as possible. It's only hair and it will grow back and you will all be much better off for it. Hopefully, your summer break will also provide you with relief.

I'm glad someone brought up the issue of the toys and stuffed animals. They must be quarantined for a minimum of 14 days. My DD had nothing but coloring books and crayons to play with for four weeks. Every single doll, stuffed animal, throw rug, was put into plastic trash bags and stored in our garage. Lice can live 14 days without a blood feed and it has nothing to do with oxygen really as there is still large amounts of oxygen inside a plastic bag. Without blood, it dies.

I wish you only the best in your fight against these horrible parasites.

 

[lovetoscrap]

I was just thinking that since it is summer make sure you protect her head and add to the fun and maybe buy her some fun and cute hats. Just make sure that they are cleaned and not reinfesting with lice. But you can get her some totally adorable sun hats to wear this summer so she can be stylish!

 

[famofsix]

Just wanted to add a hug


I would have done the short hair cut as well! It's hair it will grow back.

You may want to get some cute hair gels with the colors to make it fun. At three, I would run out and get a Tinkerbell costume and start calling her your Tinkerbell

Amazingly, we had one lice scare but no infestation at our house and I do the dirty hair trick and hairspray.

Knowledge is power and you have done all you can. It is probably going to be less stressful for her with short hair (I hope you go as short as possible) since you won't have to nit pick as long and she may have a sense of relief that Momma is not coming after her with the lice comb all the time!

It is hard being a parent.

 

[bethie]

I was told that lice love clean hair, not dirty, by my hairdresser. She is African-American and said they usually do not have lice issues because they tend no to wash their hair as often. I don't know what to tell you. My daughter had it once, after starting public school, but we were able to treat it with shampoo. Good luck.

 

[my4kids]

13 months?!!!!!!

Wow.

First, I'm sorry for you, I know it is agonizing for you and you DD, and after 13 months I would cut her hair too.

But, I have been through this and it sounds from your posts and the timing, that this is not new infestations but just reoccuring infestations. Things need to be bagged for 2-3 weeks for starters. Car upolstery, and carpets and furniture need to be vaccummed, and all clothes and linens need to be washed in hot water and dried on high heat. Upolstery should be vacuumed once, and then again after 2 weeks, incase of eggs that have hatched.

And as for your DD's hair, if there are old nits (hatched eggs) in her hair still, that right there is your problem. For these to be remaining, means that you do not have an effective lice comb and/or you are not using it correctly. If the hatched eggs are staying on the hair, then the unhatched ones are remaining as well. It takes 10 days for an egg to hatch, and 10 days for that nymph to grow to adult size and start laying eggs. Once an adult it will lay 8-10 eggs a day. So there is no way that they are magically breeding faster on daughters head, but just that there are that many eggs in her hair that you missed.

Hatched eggs (nits) are white and pretty visible, about 1/4 inch from the scalp (because the hairs has grown that much since the egg was first layed) the newly laid ones are right on the scalp, and brownish, or tan, probably the exact clolor of your DD's hair, and almost impossible to see, until they are combed out. A lice comb (RIDD metal fine one would work fine on ANY type of hair) need to be dragged against the scalp and out to the end of the hair shaft to get them out. Nits and eggs will only come out if slid out to the end of the hair shaft. Nothing will "wash" them out. A good way to make sure that all are out is to braid all the hair in thin little braids all over her head, and then let out a braid to be combed through, then fasten it with pins and let out another braid and so on. after being done, the comb should be dragged aover all parts of scalp and out to end of hair. The comb should be held at a 45 degree angle to ensure it is "catching" the eggs and they are not passing through the tynes. The fist time, this takes for ever, but if you do it once, and then comb every night there after though washed and CONDITIONED hair (comb goes through easy this way) and try to get all parts (this way only takes five minutes) eventually all eggs and nits will be out.

I used this method on my kids and never even used a lice shampoo and rid them in a couple days of lice and never had a reoccurance. At first I combed out about 40 live adult lice and hundreds of eggs and nits from DD"S (she had it the worst) head. The next day I found 2 live lice and about 10 eggs. The next day 5 eggs and about 1 egg a day there after for about 5 days , then absolutely nothing. I still comb quickly through their hair about once a month with the lice comb to make sure they are not being reinfested t school, but nothing so far. I put a TV near the sink for her to watch and I just would leave the water running in the sink and and wash those boogers down the sink off the comb after each pass through her head wit hthe comb. When I was done, I would boil the comb (and her brush) so that it would be clean for the next use.

Lice shampoos only kill live lice and some eggs that are just about to hatch, they do not kill newly laid eggs, so all the treatments you have given her have just made it "appear" that you rid her of lice for 3 weeks until the live eggs have had time to hatch (10 days) grow (10 more days) then start feeding and laying their own eggs and causing itching. Manually removing ALL nits and eggs is the only way to rid the lice for good.

Since you have not been able to remove all the eggs after all this time, then I think the best way to end the problem for you is to cut her hair off, and be sure you are done. (You should continue to lice comb the short hair though, just to be sure)

Sorry this is so long, but I obviously have had experience myself, and read EVERYTHING about this, and have become very versed on the subject and effective at erradicating it.

Lice treatments are really not necessary. People rid their children of lice for years with fine toothed combs before pesticides were invented. They are only good for killing live lice and making it so they wash out easily (since they are dead, and not gripping the shaft) , but the EGGS are still there and need to be romoved.

 

[WDWVillain]

ok, I am not sure I am reading this right.....did your DD have lice when she went to the hairdressers to get it all cut off? I really hope not, that is a health code violation and the shop would have to be shut down ASAP. As a hairdresser who has run a hair salon for 10 years if anyone comes in with lice, everyone HAS to leave!!!!!!!! OMG, I so hope this is NOT the case.

please forgive me if this is NOT the case.
but if you did take her while having lice, it would spread like wildfire.......

 

[malibuconlee]

We battled this with my sister. We all had it a few times growing up. But my sister had it the worst when she went from the elementary school my cousins and I went to to the one where the "rich kids" in town went.

It sounds like you're doing OK with the head treatments, but what about the house? Are you spraying the couches? Putting all toys with fur/hair into the wash or into garbage bags? It was horrible not being able to play with my Barbies when I was a kid, but it was better than the alternative.

My mom had to have a "talk" with my friend's mom because I kept coming home with it. They were treating the head, but not the rest of the house.

My mom would spray couches where we would lay our heads with Lysol.

Also, take all combs and brushes and boil them for 15 minutes in a pot of water on the stove.

You are not a bad mom. Unfortunately these things just happen. I'd also have a talk with your ped/family doc and see what they say.