Alternative to baby "leash"

[GadgetRick]

Lots of practice with consistency now with consequences. No matter where you go he has to stay right with you, or you leave immediately, Going for a walk to the park, he runs you go home immediately and he has a time out. Going for ice cream, he doesn't stay, no ice cream and you go home. grocery store, with you or into the cart or home. Every single time, no exceptions.


I'm with your DH, hate them.

Excellent post. I would never use these for my kids either.

If there is consistent punishment when they try to run away (ALL of the time) they will stop trying. My older kid was never a problem. My younger one wanted to get away. We punished him EVERY time he tried to make a break for it. He soon stopped when he learned he would get in trouble.

Consistency is the key...from BOTH parents. It's a PITA to be this way with your kid(s) but it works.

 

[TLSnell1981]

Safety is my number one priority. My grandchildren are much quicker, than I am and I'm not going to give them a head start. We have the backpacks, complete with tether, leash, whatever.. I loop the end around my wrist and tell the kids, "please, don't let your grandmother get lost". They take their "responsibility" very seriously.

 

[ilovezach33]

Lots of practice with consistency now with consequences. No matter where you go he has to stay right with you, or you leave immediately, Going for a walk to the park, he runs you go home immediately and he has a time out. Going for ice cream, he doesn't stay, no ice cream and you go home. grocery store, with you or into the cart or home. Every single time, no exceptions.


I'm with your DH, hate them.

Agree 100%. Kids will do what you tell them to, as long as you discipline them when they don't.

 

[doggydoc]

Excellent post. I would never use these for my kids either.

If there is consistent punishment when they try to run away (ALL of the time) they will stop trying. My older kid was never a problem. My younger one wanted to get away. We punished him EVERY time he tried to make a break for it. He soon stopped when he learned he would get in trouble.

Consistency is the key...from BOTH parents. It's a PITA to be this way with your kid(s) but it works.

Agree 100%. Kids will do what you tell them to, as long as you discipline them when they don't.

Wow. How enlightening. I can't believe people with children afflicted with autism, ADHD or behavioral problems have been dealing with their child's behavior instead of simply punishing them. You guys should write up your scientific findings and get them published right away. Obviously your methods work for every single child on the planet right? Your bound to be famous and boy will there be a lot of behavioral and medical professionals with egg on their faces.

 

[Hannathy]

Wow. How enlightening. I can't believe people with children afflicted with autism, ADHD or behavioral problems have been dealing with their child's behavior instead of simply punishing them. You guys should write up your scientific findings and get them published right away. Obviously your methods work for every single child on the planet right? Your bound to be famous and boy will there be a lot of behavioral and medical professionals with egg on their faces.

Only on the Dis.......

Usually in discussions it is "assumed" you are discussing non special needs children. And consistency isn't bad when dealing with any child.



PS Sarcasm isn't allowed, especially when you are being nasty to other posters.

 

[doggydoc]

Only on the Dis.......

Usually in discussions it is "assumed" you are discussing non special needs children. And consistency isn't bad when dealing with any child.



PS Sarcasm isn't allowed, especially when you are being nasty to other posters.

Ban me then, although I don't see the word moderator next to your name. I never said consistency was a bad thing just that it's not the answer for everything.

PS That wasn't nasty. I've seen far worse on this board, without repercussion, on a daily basis.

 

[disney1990]

If you knew our daughter, you would know why.

We had a strap that attached to her wrist and to my wrist. I told it was so Mommy didn't get lost. She had no problem with us using it.

 

[dzaharchuk]

Go with your instinct. There are always judgmental people who do not know you or your child. It is unfair for anyone to assume your parenting style or abilities without walking in your shoes.

As a preschool teacher and parent of 2 extremely stubborn girls and one very flexible boy (no stereotyping here, just how it is), I can say that some kids are just more trying than others and what works for some might not with others. Try out some of the kind and helpful advice given here, and if it doesn't work, bring the child tether along.

Ignore the harsh posts and move on.
This thread is ridiculous.

 

[BonnieA]

Long time ago when my son was growing up, I used a leash with him. This was 35 years ago. He was a runner, not a sitter. I was not ashamed to use this leash. I was only interested in his wellbeing. Some children are just harder to control. It was not a parenting problem. I never noticed anybody making faces or comments. They might have, but I was only concentrating on my son, not the people around me. And I didn't give a rats butt about anyone else's opinion.

 

[goteamwood]

I'm a mom of twin 2.5 year olds and we have used the leashes often. Last summer was the first time I could safely take them out by myself without the stroller because of their backpacks. They LOVED wearing them and while I expected a slew of nasty comments like those previously posted here I have never once had anyone say anything to me except what a great idea, they wish they had it when their kids were young, etc. truly we don't use them anymore, my kids are much better listeners and hand-holders than they were a year ago. (by no means perfect)
Toddlers (at least mine, your mileage may vary) lack impulse control and are just learning the rules of life. My job as their mommy is to keep them safe while they learn. So I can do that strapping them into their stroller, which I do often, or give them a safe amount of freedom to explore but remain under my control. With the leashes they got exercise, a different world view, and stayed within a safe distance of me. Of course my situation is being outnumbered and physically unable to run in two directions at once.
Do what works for your family.

 

[GadgetRick]

Wow. How enlightening. I can't believe people with children afflicted with autism, ADHD or behavioral problems have been dealing with their child's behavior instead of simply punishing them. You guys should write up your scientific findings and get them published right away. Obviously your methods work for every single child on the planet right? Your bound to be famous and boy will there be a lot of behavioral and medical professionals with egg on their faces.

:::sigh:::

Right, we said to punish a child who is afflicted with these things. Talk about looking for an argument...

 

[GadgetRick]

Long time ago when my son was growing up, I used a leash with him. This was 35 years ago. He was a runner, not a sitter. I was not ashamed to use this leash. I was only interested in his wellbeing. Some children are just harder to control. It was not a parenting problem. I never noticed anybody making faces or comments. They might have, but I was only concentrating on my son, not the people around me. And I didn't give a rats butt about anyone else's opinion.

I will only say this...

If it's not something which can be controlled by parenting, why is it you hardly ever saw these things 20, 30, 40 years ago (your case notwithstanding)? Yet, you didn't hear of people losing their kids all of the time.

Our society has gotten lazy in so many areas and parenting is one of them. Not saying you--or anyone else here--are lazy parents but I see it all of the time (I know you see it also). It's HARD being a parent and trying to always be consistent. Kids try your patience. They are much more persistant than we are. They also don't understand why we don't want them to do things. I get it, it's not easy.

My point is, I've seen many people who would rather take the easy way out (could be a leash, could be letting the kids watch TV or play games) rather than taking the time to teach their kids to do the right thing. I see parents (at Disney and elsewhere) who barely pay attention to what their kids are doing. They let them do whatever it is they want to do. No punishment when they do something wrong. I constantly keep an eye on my boys to ensure they're not doing things they shouldn't be doing--like walking in front of people without paying attention, running around like a mad person (we have a rule--when in public places like stores, restaurants, Disney World, etc.--there is no running allowed unless there is a place for it). Do they sometimes try and get away with something? Absolutely--and I wouldn't have it any other way (it's how they learn and grow)--but I am always quick to stop them and punish them if needed. And you know what? It's hard to do this. It takes away from my enjoyment of what we're doing. But it's what I signed up for as a parent. So I do it (as does my wife).

Our younger son boy wanted to bolt. Yet, we've never used a leash in countless Disney trips and other trips. We were stern with him if he tried to bolt. Eventually, he got the message and stopped trying.

Are there exceptions? I'm sure there are. However, for the vast majority of people out there, a leash is not needed and, quite frankly, is (in my eyes) demeaning to the child. I would use a leash on a dog but I'm not using it on my child.

 

[Maggie Lizer]

I will be taking my then 2 year old (not "on the spectrum," FWIW) in the fall, and I do not see the backpack harness as lazy at all. I use it because it gives him an opportunity to gain some independence. Slapping his booty in a stroller and punishing him for wanting to explore and play is cruel and I think that is really even lazier than allowing a harness or thether, personally. "Shut up and sit down, kid. I know there is a lot to do and see, but Mommie and Daddie don't want you to have any fun until we get on the actuial ride, so tough noogies for you."

 

[Hannathy]

I will be taking my then 2 year old (not "on the spectrum," FWIW) in the fall, and I do not see the backpack harness as lazy at all. I use it because it gives him an opportunity to gain some independence. Slapping his booty in a stroller and punishing him for wanting to explore and play is cruel and I think that is really even lazier than allowing a harness or thether, personally. "Shut up and sit down, kid. I know there is a lot to do and see, but Mommie and Daddie don't want you to have any fun until we get on the actuial ride, so tough noogies for you."

Why do you think it is strap them in the stroller or use a leash? Mine were hardly in the stroller, never strapped in and I never used a leash. It isn't a one way or the other only. Kids can walk without a leash.

 

[Suellen]

Teaching then when and where it is appropriate to explore is NOT punishment. I've also never told my kidlets to "Shut up and sit down, kid."

I still advocate wearing you child if they don't weigh too much. It was a special experience and I loved the ease of it.

We also let them wander and used a stroller.

Never leashed or tethered them.

 

[GadgetRick]

I will be taking my then 2 year old (not "on the spectrum," FWIW) in the fall, and I do not see the backpack harness as lazy at all. I use it because it gives him an opportunity to gain some independence. Slapping his booty in a stroller and punishing him for wanting to explore and play is cruel and I think that is really even lazier than allowing a harness or thether, personally. "Shut up and sit down, kid. I know there is a lot to do and see, but Mommie and Daddie don't want you to have any fun until we get on the actuial ride, so tough noogies for you."

How does one, "gain independence," when chained to someone else??? Just curious.

Who said I didn't allow them to explore things? There's a difference between allowing them to wander around on their own and allowing them to explore.

Who said I didn't allow them to have any fun. It's called paying attention to what they're doing and stopping them when they're doing something (possibly) harmful to themselves or others.

 

[Have3Kids&aHusband]

We do not use the "leash", but I don't judge others who do use it as bad parents who don't know how to control their children. Every person is different and has their reasoning for using the "leash". Some parents use it as just a safety precaution. You can be the most vigilant parent and still have your child wander a few feet from you and then not see them in the crowd.

 

[GadgetRick]

Why do you think it is strap them in the stroller or use a leash? Mine were hardly in the stroller, never strapped in and I never used a leash. It isn't a one way or the other only. Kids can walk without a leash.

Thank you. Well-said.

 

[blessedby3]

Watch Modern Family Episode of DL trip this year.

***** spoiler alert ******************


This was an issue, and they ended up buying the kid uncomfortable princess shoes to slow her down.

Must see for Disney lovers

I was going to suggest the same thing. That Modern Family made me laugh and laugh.

Also, you child might stay close because of the crowds. My DS6 stays close especially in the crowds for fear of getting lost.

Good luck

I am trying to find a link to watch this episode...you guys have me so curious...but I cant find somewhere to watch the whole episode. Is there a way to watch it online? I dont have netflix either.

 

[TLSnell1981]

Only on the Dis.......
Usually in discussions it is "assumed" you are discussing non special needs children. And consistency isn't bad when dealing with any child.

PS Sarcasm isn't allowed, especially when you are being nasty to other posters.

Not every method is reasonable or practical for every parent or child, regardless, if they are special needs or not (parent or child). There are unique situations, where one may opt for an additional safety feature, while others don't. Of course, a child needs consistency, no argument there. But, life isn't always consistent and sometimes we must learn to adapt.

If you knew our daughter, you would know why.
We had a strap that attached to her wrist and to my wrist. I told it was so Mommy didn't get lost. She had no problem with us using it.

We used the wrist version with our DGD 15 years ago. She made sure, my end was "attached" too, so I wouldn't get lost. She was quite attentive and took her "responsibility" seriously.

We have the backpack version now. I like the ability to "release the "strap" and only use it certain situations. The kids like their cool backpacks and ability to "carry" their own stuff.


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