What's sad is, as a mechanic, I've personally ran into this and other wonderful scenarios before.
Back when gas was $4 a gallon, a car came in the shop full of citronella torch oil. They guy reasoned that it was flammable and this should work.
I had someone else fill their engine with water because it was overheating. They took the oil cap off and put the water hose in the opening, and ran it until water started coming out.
My all time favorite though was the lady who kept a cat in her car at all times to keep mice from eating the wires... there was no litter box in the car