Allowing DD (10) and friend (9) to roam ship?

[Bonniec]

I don't see how one parent can tell another that they are being over protective. When it's all said and done a parent has to be comfortable and feel that they've done whatever they can to keep them safe.

I don't take offense, I asked the question so wanted opinions. I still don't agree with letting them roam because while I agree that these things can happen anywhere, I want to keep them safe as much as I am able too. Letting them loose on the ship would be too much for me. But I agree that we have to do what we are comfortable with. There are other areas of parenting where we are more lax than most (like tv programming and movies). I just wanted to understand the reasoning behind letting them loose so thanks for answering that.

 

[lbgraves]

I do not like that Disney doesn't require the tweens in Edge to be signed in and out. I think they are too young to be able to come and go as they please. ....

When we say that the Edge doesn't have sign in/out but the lab does, we are not talking about requiring parents to do this. In the lab there is a computer system in place where every kid is logged in/out of the club each time they enter/exit so at any time the CMs in the club/lab can know if a child is present. Kids even at this level can sign themselves in/out without a parent starting at age 8. It use to be the default and you had to change it to require a parent to be present. The Edge simply doesn't have a computer system in place or a CM staffing the entrance all the time.

 

[feelthenspeak]

I think you might be a tad bit over protective. Like a pp poster said. Most molestations and kidnappings are done by people that know the child. I am way more cautious around neighbors, teachers, coaches, and friends than I am among strangers.

Kids that become unruly when unsupervised probably act the same way when supervised. Parenting issue. Kids should know how to behave without the parents hovering over them.

Your kid probably has a better chance of getting struck by lightning at WDW than they do of getting molested by a stranger on a DCL cruise. So yes I think what happened is an extremely rare event.

I don't think that being over protective refers to their children's behavior, as much as it does to other people's behavior. Many parents trust their children but it is other people you have to worry about. I'm over protective and I'm totally fine with it. ; )

 

[JnDRader]

I am wondering how others have handled keeping in contact with their kids while onboard. If we allow our child to sign herself out of the Kids club, to go to, say, the pool, how would we keep track of where she is? She would not have the wave phone with her on the Aqua Duck so how do we keep in contact? This would be the first time letting her have this much freedom so I need a little help on the logistics here. Thanks!

We went through this on our first cruise last year. DD had just turned 10 the month before. We tried the lab but she was probably the oldest kid in there and bored to the point she wasn't having fun. We gave her check out privileges and a wave phone.

Couldn't have gone better from that point. She constantly called us to let us know where she was, what she was planning to do, and if her plans changed. She'd also call if her roaming buddy had to to go so she could meet up with us. For the aquaduck she knew to leave the phone in the stateroom and to go right back and get it when she was done.

We've since been on another cruise and she did great then as well. She's never been late meeting us. She also knows the rules about not going into anyone else's stateroom. She's got a good head on her shoulders. We still worry though .

 

[luv2sleep]

I don't think that being over protective refers to their children's behavior, as much as it does to other people's behavior. Many parents trust their children but it is other people you have to worry about. I'm over protective and I'm totally fine with it. ; )

Completely agree.

 

[MrsScooby]

Just out of curiosity, for those of you that don't feel comfortable letting a nine year old out of your sight on a cruise ship (or not alone except in supervised child care), at what age do you think it is safe to let a child under 18 have this kind of freedom???

This is assuming you consider an 18 year old to be an adult consistent with the legal definition.

I ask my 19 year old to let me know where he is (at home and on the ship) so as to ease my anxieties and because he is considerate of his poor Mom he complies. However, for my 16 year old this is not a request as it is not optional for her. She knows she will lose her favorite privileges if she doesn't comply. They are both good kids and have shown me repeatedly in the past that they can be trusted. There will always be predators in the world and they know they need to be wary of that. They are no more at risk than any adult several years older and because I remind them of being safe so often they are perhaps a bit more wary than the average young adult.

I totally get the annoyance of being called over-protective as my DH and his parents have accused me of that in the past frequently....I ignore them and do what makes sense to me.

 

[Rogillio]

All kids are different - by nature and by nurture. We rely on parents to make the judgement call when their children able to go out in the world alone.

I was the youngest of 4 children and lived with a single mom.....I grew up way too fast.

 

[su_A_ve]

Just out of curiosity, for those of you that don't feel comfortable letting a nine year old out of your sight on a cruise ship (or not alone except in supervised child care), at what age do you think it is safe to let a child under 18 have this kind of freedom???

When it's appropriate...

* Let them ride the bicycle by themselves
* Let them hang out at the mall with friends
* Let them go to the local basketball court on their own
* Let them go to the amusement park on their own

The ship is not a 'secure' environment. It's a combination of different types of public spaces and with that comes it's own dangers.

 

[Ofinn]

I don't think that being over protective refers to their children's behavior, as much as it does to other people's behavior. Many parents trust their children but it is other people you have to worry about. I'm over protective and I'm totally fine with it. ; )

I never said there was anything wrong with being over protective. I'm not sure why some people take offense to it.

 

[JnDRader]

I never said there was anything wrong with being over protective. I'm not sure why some people take offense to it.

Not sure it's possible to go through life without offending someone. Don't sweat it !

 

[Rogillio]

I never said there was anything wrong with being over protective. I'm not sure why some people take offense to it.

I don't think anyone walks the perfect parenting line between being over protective and under protective. We all do our best based on what we know about the world and what we know about our children.

The hardest thing about parenting IMO is pulling back a little....taking the training wheels off.....letting them go to the mall with friends....letting them drive the car...first date....spend the night with friends....go camping with his buddies.....going to girl scout summer camp....

We want to protect our children but we also want to prepare them to face the real world. Be too protective and you will find yourseld sending a 'child' off to college instead of a young adult. Not be protective enough and we put them in a situation they are not prepared for yet.

Read the various opinions on the matter but in the end, trust your instincts as a parent. Only you know your child.

 

[Bonniec]

When it's appropriate...

* Let them ride the bicycle by themselves
* Let them hang out at the mall with friends
* Let them go to the local basketball court on their own
* Let them go to the amusement park on their own

The ship is not a 'secure' environment. It's a combination of different types of public spaces and with that comes it's own dangers.

Yeah, this is pretty much how I feel as well.

 

[natmom]

I don't think anyone walks the perfect parenting line between being over protective and under protective. We all do our best based on what we know about the world and what we know about our children.

The hardest thing about parenting IMO is pulling back a little....taking the training wheels off.....letting them go to the mall with friends....letting them drive the car...first date....spend the night with friends....go camping with his buddies.....going to girl scout summer camp....

We want to protect our children but we also want to prepare them to face the real world. Be too protective and you will find yourseld sending a 'child' off to college instead of a young adult. Not be protective enough and we put them in a situation they are not prepared for yet.

Read the various opinions on the matter but in the end, trust your instincts as a parent. Only you know your child.

I feel the exact same way about 'child' vs young adult.I feel it our job as parents to prepare our children for the real world. We just came back from the dream may 5th sailing. Our children are 10 1/2 and 12 1/2. Both had sign out privileges . They were allowed to leave the club and go to our room ( not roam around), we allowed them to go and get ice cream on their own, we allowed them to do the Mickey detective game on their own. They went down to the shops one day for 1/2 hour. They were NOT allowed to swim, go into any friends room or take any friends to our room. They used the waves phones and never wanted to be away from us for very long. We always knew what they were doing and they thrived with the little bit of independence.

 

[TDC Nala]

If they are old enough to understand and follow basic safety procedures, such as: they stay together, they do not go into a non-public space with anybody no matter what they say, they do not go into anyone else's stateroom, and they do not allow anyone into their own stateroom, they'll most likely be OK if they keep their wave phones with them.

You know your own kids and you know if they are likely to be able to keep track of the wave phone and to follow your directions.

 

[MrsScooby]

When it's appropriate...

* Let them ride the bicycle by themselves
* Let them hang out at the mall with friends
* Let them go to the local basketball court on their own
* Let them go to the amusement park on their own

The ship is not a 'secure' environment. It's a combination of different types of public spaces and with that comes it's own dangers.

This doesn't answer my question...
at what age do you think your child (or any child) is ready to leave your presence on the DCL ship to, for example, go get some ice cream and return immediately???? Or go to the DCL movie theater, watch a movie and then return to you ?? Obviously not age 9-10. So what age are you prepared to let them do things like this for the first time ?
And I gather from your tone of your comments that you feel that regardless of the maturity of the child that they all should get their freedom at the exact same age that you personally establish as appropriate??

Look, obviously I don't look at this the same way as you do. I am just trying to figure out how far off we are from each other...15, 16, 17 ?
Surely you don't intend for college to be the first time your kids are away from you without supervision???

I don't think anyone walks the perfect parenting line between being over protective and under protective. We all do our best based on what we know about the world and what we know about our children.

The hardest thing about parenting IMO is pulling back a little....taking the training wheels off.....letting them go to the mall with friends....letting them drive the car...first date....spend the night with friends....go camping with his buddies.....going to girl scout summer camp....

We want to protect our children but we also want to prepare them to face the real world. Be too protective and you will find yourseld sending a 'child' off to college instead of a young adult. Not be protective enough and we put them in a situation they are not prepared for yet.

Read the various opinions on the matter but in the end, trust your instincts as a parent. Only you know your child.

I did not feel comfortable letting either of my kids drive at age 16. My son had to wait for his drivers license and so does my daughter...
My 19 year old son's friend has already totaled one car and my brother did the same at the same age (probably part of the reason for my uneasiness about it). But I do know that the best way to keep them safe is to log in as many hours of practice driving as possible So I am trying to find that balance

If they are old enough to understand and follow basic safety procedures, such as: they stay together, they do not go into a non-public space with anybody no matter what they say, they do not go into anyone else's stateroom, and they do not allow anyone into their own stateroom, they'll most likely be OK if they keep their wave phones with them.

You know your own kids and you know if they are likely to be able to keep track of the wave phone and to follow your directions.

 

[neg58]

This doesn't answer my question...
at what age do you think your child (or any child) is ready to leave your presence on the DCL ship to, for example, go get some ice cream and return immediately???? Or go to the DCL movie theater, watch a movie and then return to you ?? Obviously not age 9-10. So what age are you prepared to let them do things like this for the first time ?
And I gather from your tone of your comments that you feel that regardless of the maturity of the child that they all should get their freedom at the exact same age that you personally establish as appropriate??

Look, obviously I don't look at this the same way as you do. I am just trying to figure out how far off we are from each other...15, 16, 17 ?
Surely you don't intend for college to be the first time your kids are away from you without supervision???

When I went on my first cruise, only my 16 year old was with me. At first I wasn't comfortable with her walking around the ship without me, but I became comfortable very quickly. She used the stairs, not the elevators, she was in the more public areas. On the second cruise, with both of my kids being 16, they were all over the place, all the time.

At home they need to let me know basically where they are, who they are with, and when they'll be home. That's just courtesy (and safety) to others living in the same house. My kids, now 16 annd 17, don't have a curfew, but if they stay out too late I let them know. My 16 year old needs to be 'reminded' more than the 17 year old.

If you (this is the universal YOU, not a specific YOU) decide to allow your kids to travel around the ship solo, make sure they know basic rules of courtesy - no pushing on to elevators, no jumping in line at the beverage station, no pushing all the buttons of the elevator. There were only 200 kids on my last cruise, most of them babies or toddlers, and yet the few that were there acted like they'd never been in public before, shouting in the halls, on the decks, in the restaurants. I would be embarassed if my kids acted that way.

Nancy

 

[gilsan]

I don't think anyone walks the perfect parenting line between being over protective and under protective. We all do our best based on what we know about the world and what we know about our children.

The hardest thing about parenting IMO is pulling back a little....taking the training wheels off.....letting them go to the mall with friends....letting them drive the car...first date....spend the night with friends....go camping with his buddies.....going to girl scout summer camp....

We want to protect our children but we also want to prepare them to face the real world. Be too protective and you will find yourseld sending a 'child' off to college instead of a young adult. Not be protective enough and we put them in a situation they are not prepared for yet.

Read the various opinions on the matter but in the end, trust your instincts as a parent. Only you know your child.

Well said, I think that this is one of the hardest parts of parenting.

 

[Topscot]

Your child is far more likely to molested by a family member or friend than by a stranger. You cannot prevent all bad things from happening to your child, no matter what you do. You can teach them to try and prevent putting themselves in potentially perilous situations, and you can deal with fallout when it happens, but you can't keep them in a bubble either. Well you could I guess, but it wouldn't be good for them either.

Reasonable precautions are reasonable. Every family is going to decide what they think is reasonable and what their child can handle. Some parents will think others are crazy, but in the end, it is their family, not yours. When I was 12, I was allowed to roam freely in the condo complex where we vacationed and literally stay out all night and sleep during the day. (very fair skin and lots of sun didn't mesh well) my parents trusted me not to go to the ocean. They trusted me by the pool and with the friends I met. Tons of bad things could have happened. Likely? not really.

There are people who get molested by doctors. I'm not going to stop seeing doctors. There are people who get molested by teachers. I'm not going to stop sending them to school. On and on. That's my philosophy, ymmv

Very well said.

 

[Topscot]

We went through this on our first cruise last year. DD had just turned 10 the month before. We tried the lab but she was probably the oldest kid in there and bored to the point she wasn't having fun. We gave her check out privileges and a wave phone.

Couldn't have gone better from that point. She constantly called us to let us know where she was, what she was planning to do, and if her plans changed. She'd also call if her roaming buddy had to to go so she could meet up with us. For the aquaduck she knew to leave the phone in the stateroom and to go right back and get it when she was done.

We've since been on another cruise and she did great then as well. She's never been late meeting us. She also knows the rules about not going into anyone else's stateroom. She's got a good head on her shoulders. We still worry though .

I think that it's a great way for a kid to prove responsibility. She would have to keep in almost constant contact with me to be allowed very far away on the ship.

 

[Topscot]

When it's appropriate...

* Let them ride the bicycle by themselves
* Let them hang out at the mall with friends
* Let them go to the local basketball court on their own
* Let them go to the amusement park on their own

The ship is not a 'secure' environment. It's a combination of different types of public spaces and with that comes it's own dangers.

How is a cruise ship any different from an amusement park? Isn't the park worse because some creep could have his car in the parking lot and drive off with your kid.