Allergy free school frustration

[Mrs. M. Mouse]

My daughter has 3 severe food allergies. We have to carry 2 epi-pens with her at all times and have seen our fair share of the emergency rooms.

She does have a life threatening allergy to tree nuts which is severe like peanut allergies.

The false sense of thinking that you have to learn to live with them and what you can eat and not is much harder than you would think if you're not managing a food allergy on a daily basis.

Manufacturers do have to list ingredients of the top 8 food allergens, however they do not have to note if items are manufactured on those same production lines. Even traces of these foods can cause potential life threatening dangers to those who are allergic to it.

Unfortunately you cannot control kids at school who consume these foods, perhaps have peanut residue on their hands, touch the same lunch table that an allergic child touches and now the reaction begins for that child.

You are right, it is impossible to control every environment and we have to deal with what we must.

Now while this may be frustrating for you, imagine how you would feel if every time you sent your child to school you had to fear whether or not they would come home alive because they sat next to a child who had to just have that peanut butter sandwich today.

I completely and totally empathize with you and your situation. My dd does not have any allergies however her bff has a severe and life threatening allergy to peanuts, tree nuts and the like. She too carries the epipen with her at all times.

I myself can not imagine having to go through that, and because she is my ddd's bff and they play together all the time I do not allow dd to eat peanuts or pb during the week throughout the school year. if we make a play date with bff I scrub everything in my house (door handles included) to make sure no allergen exists for her. This little girl is like a part of my own family and it would kill me to see anything happen to her!

ETA: I am thankful that packaging for foods in canada is better than the states in the way that they have to note if the product was made in a facility that also processes nuts, came in contact with nuts etc. I am thankful for that as it makes shopping for the school year easier. If you look on the sides or bottom of most products at the store there is a customer service number you can call to ask about if the product came in contact with any nut products in manufacturing....just ask them if their facility also processes nuts. if the answer is yes the product is a no no.

 

[camouseketeer]

Before blaming families of children with FA's (of which I am one) for these strict food rules, please be aware that school districts often make more severe restrictions that what the parents request. Districts are afraid of lawsuits. So, if a child with a tomato allergy comes in, rather than taking the risk of being sued for not keeping that child safe, they'll just ban the food and assume no lawful risk.

Please also know that while my 5 year old knows what she can and can't eat, she can't be responsible for what someone else eats and leaves on their fingers, pencils, books, etc. It's not just about consuming or even breathing a peanut butter sandwich. It's also about the residue left on hands after the meal is over. You can separate PB&J boy from my child at lunch, and she could STILL be at risk after lunch once we're back in the classroom.

So what do we do? We use a lot of wipes! All students who enter my DD's classroom wipe or wash their hands each time they come in (in the morning, after snack, recess, etc.) I supply the wipes, they take second to use (the kids have been taught how to thoroughly clean their hands), and they do reduce the risk. I also wipe down restaurant tables, park benches, etc. I can't get everything, but I try.

All FA parents know that there is risk no matter what. But our kids need to live their lives. Even if I choose to homeschool, do I also then keep them indoors permanently and away from all sticky fingered kids at all times? That's not possible or healthy for my child. It's a difficult and delicate balance.

So I send my child to school. We had numerous meeting prior to the first day to set up safety guidelines. The SCHOOL actually put into place MORE stringent measures than I asked for.

I TRULY understand the frustration of the OP and others. My daughter does without ALL the time, and it's not just tomatoes. It's the majority of baked goods, candies, pastas, and breaded foods (egg, peanut, tree nut, sesame seed, melon, and pea allergies). It is frustrating for all kids affected, and perhaps even more so for the non-FA kids. But it does help to teach all kids caring and compassion. I've seen that many times in my DD's class.

I also agree that some of the food bans listed in this thread are seemingly unnecessary. I guess only an allergist (and maybe a school district lawyer) would know best.

 

[imthatgirl]

I am going to ask a question and preface it with this-I am not being mean, rude or a smart a**, I am really curious. A girl I worked with was a helper(for lack of a better word) to a young girl who had some sort of learning/behavioral disability. She actually went to school with her and helped her manage ...well going to school. Now, if these allergies are as bad as parents are posting, why have their children not been listed as disabled? Again-not to label them but to get them assistance during school.I am only saying this because let's face it-a note can go home tomorrow saying "no peanuts", and I being a parent who would never want to put ANY child in danger would not send peanut products in. But what happens when a 6 year old sneaks a Reeses peanut butter cup in from her Halloween candy? Or a 7 year old brings a balloon with him-or whatever. The point being that there is a very real and innocent possibility that something like this could happen-and then where are we left? With a seriously sick child as the best possible scenario or at worst a child who could actually die. I just don't see how sending a letter how is enough, and I don't see it being fair to anyone. I think at least that there should be someone there to monitor these children for their own safety, because it seems silly to depend on just saying "you can't".

Just an opinion.

and thats why kids who are in real danger carry an epi pen with them.
i dont understand why you think they should be labeled disabled because they cant eat peanut butter? do you think every child who has a peanut allergy should have a "helper" with them at all times? to do what? frisk the other kids for peanut butter? im sorry im just not following?

 

[momma of 2]

Yeah!! Birthday treats are going to consist of popsciles and jello. Snacks will be lots of fruits and veggies (minus the dip). WOW. lol

 

[Ducky4Disney]

While we're on it, has anyone researched WHY there is such an increase in the severe allergic reactions kids are having? It just never seemed to be an issue when I was a kid...many, many years ago!!!

That's what I've been thinking this whole time. I am fortunate that DS does not have any food allergies and I hope the one I'm carrying has the same fortune. So far there are no restrictions at his daycare other than no home-baked goods, everything must have an ingredient label. I know when he hits elementary school this will probably change.

To all the parents of kids with food allergies: do you have food allergies in your family? Were you totally surprised by the diagnosis or did you have an inclination that it may be a problem based on you or your families allergies? Just curious.

Personally, I think we oversanitize stuff. We have immune systems for a reason and if you don't use it then it doens't learn how to work. If you have a family history of food allergies that may not apply, but there are those that get this out-of-the-blue. It satarts in the womb - PG ladies can't eat this or that because it may cause an allergy, or *not* eating it may cause the allergy, who knows? The big thing now is anti-oxidants - I swear in 10 years we're going to find out that it was the free radicals in our bodies that prevented allergies in the first place!

You can't win, what's good now is bad tomrrow and the alternative is bad 10 years from now.

D4D

 

[PEANUT1]

DD just started grade 2. Last year we knew the school is peanut free. This year, there is a child with latex allergy, so all kids have to buy latex free school supplies. Now the first day of school she comes home with a newsletter and somebody in the school has a tomato allergy. So now, no peanuts, no latex, no tomatoes!

I understand its easiest to just make the entire school allergen free, but I don't think its fair. DD's favorite sandwich is peanut butter, she looks forward to Pro-d days when she can have PB in her lunch (her daycare isn't peanut free). Another favorite of DD's is to take cherry tomatos in her lunch, and now that's off the list.

I had severe allergies as a child, my mother is severly lactose intolerant, my nephew was allergic to milk when young (if it touched him, he got hives, he didn't have to consume it, just touch it). We work around it. If we weren't sure if the food was safe, we don't eat it. I think it better for the kids to learn to handle their allergy instead of making the whole school free of the product. When they go other places its not allergy free.

I'm venting a little and wondering if any parents with allergic kids actually feel better when schools take this approach.

I agree...My daughter now can't bring peanuts and ranch dressing....isn't that a weird one.

My sister has 2 kids with peanut allergies and she is not in favor of a school being peanut free. She agrees that people need to learn to live with their allergies. I understand that some are life threatening but you can be exposed to these things anywhere, not just school.

 

[tmarquez]

I don't mean to hijack this thread, but I have a question.

What has happened that is causing all of these children to be so allergic to all these common things?

I went to large schools in a good sized city and have never had any friends or relatives go through this when I was in school. So it has to be something that has started more recently, right? Or did they just handle it differently back then?

My DD just started K at a public school and there are no restrictions there.

 

[momma of 2]

my husband has had environmental allergies his whole life but none to food. I have medication allergies but none to food. My dd has NO allergies and my son is allergic to both food and environmental. My allergist said that if one parent has an allergy to something that it is a chance that the child could be allergic to something. If both parents are allergic to something than that greatens the chance that the child will be allergic to multiple things. Do not know if this is true but this is also the guy that said that my son was allergic to peanuts and it turns out he is not.

 

[lisadr]

and thats why kids who are in real danger carry an epi pen with them.
i dont understand why you think they should be labeled disabled because they cant eat peanut butter? do you think every child who has a peanut allergy should have a "helper" with them at all times? to do what? frisk the other kids for peanut butter? im sorry im just not following?

Again- I am not being rude-I just feel that if these allergies are so sensitive where a child with sticky PB fingers can cause another to go into anaphylactic shock-how can anyone be at ease by simply banning an item?? You know how kids are-there are too many what ifs and then a childs life is in danger.

The reason I said that maybe it should be classified in some way is because that is the only way to get any type of help as far as benefits, funding,etc.-is to declare it a disability. I am know lots of parents who don't get any help form the school until their kids are officially classified as having a disability of some kind. That is just based on taking to tons of frustrated parents in my DD school.

I am not sure how many kids in one school are allergic to different things, but is it a lot?? I was under the impression it was a handful (maybe) per school-maybe I am wrong. But if there was someone whose job it was to monitor these kids during high risk times-like lunch and parties wouldn't it just be safer? I am not saying a helper to follow each kid around, but maybe someone who is familiar with food allergies and could be in the classroom as an extra pair of hands during a class party, or to sit with these children during lunch??

I don't know-it just seems ineffective to simply ban anything-I think it will still find it's way into the school regardless. I don't have a child with any allergies, other than seasonal, but I feel really bad for any parent that has to send their child to school and worry IF they will run into another child with a dangerous-to-them food or other item. And I see it as highly likely that if your child doesn't have a serious allergy, then YOU probably will not be checking food labels as closely as the parents of allergic kids will and mistakes can happen. No parent should have to worry like that and I guess I was kicking around an idea aloud

But I do feel that an allergy THAT severe as being described in the PP should be listed as a medical disability -not to be looked at as bad thing-but so that it is taken in proper context-as being a serious,possibly life threatening medical condition and then REAL precautions can be taken to protect these children.

Again, I want to say that I am not trying to say anything negative about you or your child-I just find it really upsetting to see parents post that they worry their child might not come home because of something they could come in contact at school-and i believe there has to be a safer way to handle it.

 

[2Princes2Princesses]

Celiac (which I know about because my MIL has it) is not the same kind of sensitivity as that of some kids who have autism & are treated by eliminating gluten from their diet. My DD6 has autism & one of her classmates (who also has autism) is on the gluten free diet...although it never made a difference for my DD (we did try it for a time) her friend is highly sensitive & even exposure to things like stickers, shampoo (almost all shampoos have wheat protiens) and certain glues can cause a reaction. Of course, the reaction is much worse if he eats gluten, but with any exposure he stops communicating, has major emotional breakdowns, cannot control his temper & even loses control of his bowels. It basically takes the worst symptoms of his autism & cranks them up several notches.

Ahhh. See, now I never knew a gluten sensitivity could extend beyond eating it. You learn something new every day on these boards. Thank you!

 

[Tiffany_MommyOf3]

Not sure why you feel safe knowing that elementary school kids don't eat mangos and shellfish???? I was a very picky eater as a child and one of the only things I would take for lunch was shrimp cocktail. I was in 1st grade when I first brought it for lunch and it was something that was packed in my lunch more days than not. And mangos...its a sweet yummy fruit, why wouldn't a kid eat it? I have seen kids at my daughter's daycare with cut mango, I've mixed it in yogurt for my daughter at times.

So really there is no truly safe place, making it all the more important for allergic kids to start learning at a very young age to be responsible for their own well-being and to know what is and isn't safe to eat.

Cindy (tree nut allergic, 35 yo that somehow survived going to public school with no bans in place)

My son loves mango and often carries one with him in his lunch box. My husbands cousins are in elem. school also and they have been known to take shrimp to school frequently.

 

[Tiffany_MommyOf3]

because they carry the warning - may have been packed and or in an area that peanuts were processed... No M&M's, no granola bars, very specific candy, potato chips etc....

Now thats just insane! TONS of lunch foods carry that same warning..

 

[happymommy]

I don't mean to hijack this thread, but I have a question.

What has happened that is causing all of these children to be so allergic to all these common things?

I went to large schools in a good sized city and have never had any friends or relatives go through this when I was in school. So it has to be something that has started more recently, right? Or did they just handle it differently back then?

My DD just started K at a public school and there are no restrictions there.

The fact that more kids have food allergies is definitely troubling the medical community. My son has food allergies, and so I know a lot about this. The incidence of them has grown so quickly, and we don't know why. I had never heard of food allergies growing up, and when he went into anaphylaxis at 8 month, I had NO IDEA what was happening! Scary!

By the way, he was touch hypersensitive to dairy, and we had to wipe down everything he touched at a restaurant (and it frequently didn't prevent a reaction), but... I have never asked folks to not eat something around him. I watched him like a hawk when he was a toddler, especially when others had goldfish or something near him.

I don't see how a school can say what you can and can't bring in your lunch. And I'm a FA mother - just my two cents.

 

[camouseketeer]

Originally Posted by Tinker'n'Fun View Post
because they carry the warning - may have been packed and or in an area that peanuts were processed... No M&M's, no granola bars, very specific candy, potato chips etc....

Now thats just insane! TONS of lunch foods carry that same warning..

Yes, and that is the world in which FA kids like mine live. It is not easy.

There is one brand of snack cracker made in a completely nut free facility. Unfortunately, it is made on shared lines with sesame seeds, so that rules it out for us.

Needless to say, we do a lot of baking at home.

Just a few weeks ago, I talked to the school nurse about my DD's allergies. I mentioned she's allergic to eggs. Her reply was, "Egg? Do you have any idea how many foods have egg in them?"

Um, considering my child has not consumed any egg containing product for the last three years, I certainly do.

Oh, and after I explained all of her allergies and the other health issues (non-allergy related) that she has, the nurse said, "Glad she's not my daughter."

Thankfully for my DD and me, she's not!

 

[robinb]

My DD's school has a peanut table instead of a peanut-free table. All the kids who want to eat peanuts can eat it there so the peanut allergic kids are not singled out. After a while my DD started to ask me to pack something other than her regular PB&J so she could eat with her friends.

 

[Tiffany_MommyOf3]

I totally understand the frustration involved on your end, but that really doesn't mean that I must be forced to live in your world. I'm thinking maybe a special class just for kids with major allergies? Like an eat in the classroom type thing but only kids with allergies are there? Parents of kids with allergies are more likely to watch for allergens than other parents. I know if they banned certain foods from my kids school, there are at least 5-6 parents in my sons class alone that would ignore it.

 

[Lilogirl]

Before blaming families of children with FA's (of which I am one) for these strict food rules, please be aware that school districts often make more severe restrictions that what the parents request. Districts are afraid of lawsuits. So, if a child with a tomato allergy comes in, rather than taking the risk of being sued for not keeping that child safe, they'll just ban the food and assume no lawful risk.

Please also know that while my 5 year old knows what she can and can't eat, she can't be responsible for what someone else eats and leaves on their fingers, pencils, books, etc. It's not just about consuming or even breathing a peanut butter sandwich. It's also about the residue left on hands after the meal is over. You can separate PB&J boy from my child at lunch, and she could STILL be at risk after lunch once we're back in the classroom.

So what do we do? We use a lot of wipes! All students who enter my DD's classroom wipe or wash their hands each time they come in (in the morning, after snack, recess, etc.) I supply the wipes, they take second to use (the kids have been taught how to thoroughly clean their hands), and they do reduce the risk. I also wipe down restaurant tables, park benches, etc. I can't get everything, but I try.

All FA parents know that there is risk no matter what. But our kids need to live their lives. Even if I choose to homeschool, do I also then keep them indoors permanently and away from all sticky fingered kids at all times? That's not possible or healthy for my child. It's a difficult and delicate balance.

So I send my child to school. We had numerous meeting prior to the first day to set up safety guidelines. The SCHOOL actually put into place MORE stringent measures than I asked for.

I TRULY understand the frustration of the OP and others. My daughter does without ALL the time, and it's not just tomatoes. It's the majority of baked goods, candies, pastas, and breaded foods (egg, peanut, tree nut, sesame seed, melon, and pea allergies). It is frustrating for all kids affected, and perhaps even more so for the non-FA kids. But it does help to teach all kids caring and compassion. I've seen that many times in my DD's class.

I also agree that some of the food bans listed in this thread are seemingly unnecessary. I guess only an allergist (and maybe a school district lawyer) would know best.

On the other side-if those wipes you are wiping everything with are Clorox wipes, they could be causing a life threatening reaction for several members of my family. This allergy is both touch and air born.

So yes I agree it is frustrating for all.

 

[camouseketeer]

On the other side-if those wipes you are wiping everything with are Clorox wipes, they could be causing a life threatening reaction for several members of my family. This allergy is both touch and air born.

No, they are baby wipes. Clorox wipes are not meant, at least to my understanding, for wiping people, and I agree that I wouldn't want my child to be wiped with them.

No, while washing with soap and water is the best solution, a thorough wipe with a baby wipe is a good compromise.

 

[camouseketeer]

I totally understand the frustration involved on your end, but that really doesn't mean that I must be forced to live in your world.

I thought we all lived in the same world.

And if my DD goes to your child's school, we certainly do.

 

[cosmicdaisy]

About FAs being labeled as a disability...in the eyes of the school, they sort of are. And I wouldn't be surprised if the schools that are banning a lot of foods have 504 plans (the plans in place for kids in schools with disability - which food allergies fall into for school purposes) in place for these children with the food allergies. I also imagine, that once they have banned peanuts, it's hard to then not ban tomatoes.

My DD has a life threatening allergy to cow's milk. She actually does not have a 504 Plan in place, because I have thus far not felt a need for it. I think I am fortunate to have a principal at DD's school who has a DD allergic to tree nuts, so - she gets it. I have also so far, DD is only in 1st grade this year, but so far I have had great reception from her teachers last year and this year. I am all about awareness and education. I do not want my daughter to live in a bubble. She is pretty good at knowing she can't eat anything unless I send it in for her, actually she's excellent at it. I also do not want my DD to grow up with a stigma. It's a fine line I feel like I am constantly walking. I want her to know there is something different about her but I don't want her to feel like an outcast. I don't want her to have to eat at a teacher's desk or anything like that. How not fun is that? But, anaphylaxis is not fun either. I medicate my child everyday with a half dose of antihistamine. We tell her every single day to be careful at school. I've asked the teacher to move her as neccesary so that she sits near the "neater kids". And every time I get a call from her school, my heart skips a beat. There are days I literally tear up thinking that just maybe, she'll never grow up...and not in the fantasyland Peter Pan kind of way. But I don't dwell on that, I just accept it may happen, and we try to educate her best we can and those in her life and live our lives to the fullest.

Anyways, I'm not an advocate of banning foods in schools but I understand the reasoning and I would be supportive. My DD does not currently take any peanut products to school, without a ban in place. I know there are children in her school with peanut allergies, and it's just karmatic to me to not send in peanuts or tree nuts or products containing those. I will say that I have been so fortunate...DD may be limited in her diet, but thankfully not in her pallate. I definitely feel for parents who have children who will only eat a peanut butter sandwich or what have you. I have no idea what that is like, possibly in a little bit of the same way that a non-FA family has no idea what it is like to live with FAs?

RE: more allergies now. I think there are a few things to consider. First, there are just more kids now. I have to think that a good portion of elementary students are the grandchildren of the baby-boomers? My parents are boomers, but maybe I'm off a little, IDK. Secondly, we just know more now than a few decades ago. Before, when a baby might have been labeled as colicky...now some of those babies are identified as allergic to [insert food here]. Finally, there are a few theories about why there are more allergies now than before. The one I most identify with is the theory that suggest we are too sanitized...too clean. From the research I have done as a parent to a food allergic kid, this theory makes the most sense to me. The thing about food allergies though, and theories. Since FAs can be fatal...it's pretty hard to have anything more than theories.

And finally...and I do apologize I'm not quoting previous posts...I should have thought to do that while I was reading it. But I wanted to address the fact that we are a husband and wife with my DH being allergic to bees as a child. My MIL says she is allergic to peaches, but she is also a hypochondriac. My mother is allergic to nickel. But, these were all things I never thought about with regard to - will my child be allergic to anything? Honestly, we were quite surprised. However, when it got to the point to take her to the doctor, I knew...as a mother I just knew exactly what it was. But, even DD's allergist was surprised. He had never had a 9 month old with as severe a reaction to cow's milk as my DD.

All I wish for now is for allergy to lessen...to come down from that life-threatening status. She's outgrown everything else she was allergic too. I'm not holding my breath on her outgrowing the milk allergy...but not dying from it would be a huge sigh of relief.