No, parents are not supposed to be with the kids during the tea party. My 4 year old will be doing it this December as well. I told her I will be right outside if she needs me for anything and that was fine with her. I always try to find another girl (or boy) close to her age for her to meet before we do something like this and then they feel like they "know" someone in there. This almost always works for my daughter and she usually hangs out with that child for the remaining time. It might work with your daughter?