Airplane seat etiquette!

[fussymonkey]

So, you are happy to accommodate anyone? Because one person's radical is another's normal. If people want the comfort of space, they are more than welcome to pay for it.

I don't suppose OP's seats were any cheaper becuase they happen to be in the last row. She mentioned that she couldn't get a seat for the baby, one wasn't available.

Yes, if I can accomodate someone without turning myself into a human pretzel or eduring some type of discomfort, of course I'd be happy to accomodate anyone by not reclining. Yeah, if someone behind me has a ton of room and they just don't like it, I might be less inclined to be helpful. But for a tall person or a baby, yes, I'd be happy to sit upright.

As far karma, well it is always around. Does it hit the mom's who have no respect for the handicapped who CAN'T use the other stalls, the rude handicapped people trying to keep all of the stalls to themselves, the mom reclining to give herself and her child a bit more breathing space, or the person who doesn't pay for a space they think they deserve?

yeah, that's pretty much exactly my point. Everyone is so hyper about protecting his or her rights per his/her point of view, they they are unable or unwilling to accomodate others, or at least be understading when they can't accomodate. And we all have valid rights.

Nobody is trying to be a jerk here, we just all have differing needs, and no one person's needs are more important than any other's, so just treat each person with respect and consideration. I guess I don't think its that hard.
If I can be accomodating, I will. I guess if you want to live your life with a "screw 'em, I paid for my space" attitude, you go right ahead.

 

[rparmfamily]

A little kindness goes a long way. Call it karma...call it being a good christian...call it the golden rule or whatever but the point is, consideration and kindness are good things for everyone to follow.

Good luck to the OP on their flight. I doubt they'll have any issues. (I fly quite a bit and have flown a lot w/my children.) I've never ran into this but I am a smaller sized adult and I've always had plenty of room even w/a child on my lap.

 

[foszilfineder]

If I can be accomodating, I will. I guess if you want to live your life with a "screw 'em, I paid for my space" attitude, you go right ahead.

LOL, I've never in my life stated anything of the sort. I just think it is easy for people to sit in judgment of others whether on an airplane, or an internet msg. board. You pretty much proved my point!

And, the OP could have caught one of a million other flights out there...and maybe one of them would have had better seats. Who knows?

 

[maxiesmom]

I just think it is easy for people to sit in judgment of others whether on an airplane, or an internet msg. board.

No kidding!

OP-- I really don't think you will have anything to worry about. In my experience, most people do not recline their seats. And if the person ahead of you does, you have the right to ask them if they would please sit upright, but they also have the right to tell you "no."

Either way, you will be just fine.

 

[badblackpug]

There are a lot of things that I can do because I "paid my share." or because "I have the right." These things don't necessarily make me a good citizen, or neighbor, or even a very nice person. I can stand all 6ft of me in front of your 3 year old at a parade or show because "I was there 1st" or because "I paid for admission, too." But I wouldn't. I could allow an elderly person, or a pregnant woman, or a parent with a small child stand on the bus, because "I paid and have the right to sit." but I wouldn't. I could allow my children to scream and disrupt your dinner or show because "I paid to be there" but I wouldn't. Sometimes we have to stop thinking of ourselves 1st and consider what impact our actions and attitudes have on those around us.

 

[MyZoeJane]

I would think that that person has the right to recline. Just as you have the right to buy your baby a seat where they would not be potentially squished.

Exactly! Though, I always look behind me before I recline to see if the person is very heavy. Myself, I will always choose to be thoughtful when possible... and if I saw a child on your lap, I would refrain from reclining, though I would be perfectly within my rights to do so.

 

[scrapquitler]

I think that I wouldn't even think of worrying about this situation yet. The number of times that I have actually sat in the seat that was assigned to me when I purchased the tickets is extremely small. More often than not, you will get a new seat assigned to you the day of check in. The earlier you check in, the more likely it is.

 

[bavaria]

Sometimes we have to stop thinking of ourselves 1st and consider what impact our actions and attitudes have on those around us.

I fly almost every week somewhere in the world. I am very concious of not making my issues someone else's problem. Several times a year if I cannot get a seat which works for me I choose not to fly, at my own cost, or fly on a later flight. I refuse to impact someone else and don't even ask anyone to change seats with me. It is my issue, and my problem to resolve.

However the reality is that single travellers, or travellers with no children, are a minority on this website. Many posters seem to think that having children trumps everything, and we often read posts were people didn't want to pay for a seat assignment, yet expected others to move for them. I ask them if they expect someone who did take responsibility to pay to move, because they chose not to pay.

There was recently a post by an adult terrified to fly; she and her sister paid for seat assignments but were 'ordered' to move to make room for a family who did not pay for seat assignments. The poster was in hysterics for the entire flight. Is that right?

When those of us who travel alone point out that we should not automatically be expected to move just because we have no children, we are often blasted for being 'rude' or worse. Yet to me the expectation from the person making the demand is also not approrpiate.

Almost every month I am bullied, either verbally or physically, by another passenger who 'needs' my seat. Sadly, most people don't ask, they demand. And I have even had a mother shriek and curse at me for not moving, when I had a visible reason for preferring my assigned seat.

I have no issue helping people; I often do so even though I have limitations myself. But I don't expect others to assist me or put themselves out for me. I take responsibility for myself, and whenever possible help those who need it.

And as a closing comment, for all the times I chose to deboard and not fly rather than inconvenience someone else, I have never seen a family choose to do so because they could not get their desired seats.

 

[Broadway Duchess]

OP, I think that you'll be fine on your flight. I don't think asking a person to move his or her seat forward is rude, but I think it is imperative to ASK. Being passive-aggressive is the quickest way to get a negative result. We're all human beings and most of us don't have a problem with "inconveniencing" ourselves for a mother and baby, but stating your case to hubby or the baby is just childish (not that you would, I just know that some might think it's an option).

My best advice would be to ask nicely if it even becomes necessary to do so, but don't "expect" that the other passenger should. I'm sure this won't be a thing, though.

 

[drinkme]

Yes, the person in front of her has the "right" to recline fully, but I would hope that people, in general, would be more accomodating.

I am very tall, as is my husband, and we always do our best to try and fly business class using air miles, but it is not always available. While the 5'2" girl in front of me in coach does technically have a "right" to jam her seat into me, and I wouldn't complain (outwardly) if she did it, I think people should, in general, be less concerned about their "rights" and more concerned about being considerate.

Even as tall as I am, with my "right" to fully recline, I wouldn't do so into a parent holding her baby on her lap.

I never recline if there are parents with a lap baby behind me. But, I'm only 5'2" and not overweight.

I have always bought plane tickets for my kids, but there were times when the baby just wanted to be held/nursed/etc. I just hated when the person in front of me had their seats all the way back and I could barely fit a baby on my lap. That's just rude.

Some planes seem to recline further back than others.

 

[bavaria]

I apologise as I am having difficulty expressing myself in English today!

To clarify my last post:

So often here I feel like it is a competition as to has the greatest needs. That is a competition I frankly wouldn't want to win. Nor would I think that my needs come ahead of someone else's needs.

The best advice is to look after yourself, offer assistance to others when you can, but do not make assumptions about your fellow travellers based only on your own needs, wants or expectations.

Flying really isn't the drama it seems to be made out so often here; thousands of us fly without incident every single day. Most of the 'issues' people post about do tend to get resolved in the end so long as they take responsibility and check in early, arrive at the airport early, and politely request a seat change at the ticket counter or podium.

 

[DisneyBamaFan]

I fly almost every week somewhere in the world. I am very concious of not making my issues someone else's problem. Several times a year if I cannot get a seat which works for me I choose not to fly, at my own cost, or fly on a later flight. I refuse to impact someone else and don't even ask anyone to change seats with me. It is my issue, and my problem to resolve.

However the reality is that single travellers, or travellers with no children, are a minority on this website. Many posters seem to think that having children trumps everything, and we often read posts were people didn't want to pay for a seat assignment, yet expected others to move for them. I ask them if they expect someone who did take responsibility to pay to move, because they chose not to pay.

There was recently a post by an adult terrified to fly; she and her sister paid for seat assignments but were 'ordered' to move to make room for a family who did not pay for seat assignments. The poster was in hysterics for the entire flight. Is that right?

When those of us who travel alone point out that we should not automatically be expected to move just because we have no children, we are often blasted for being 'rude' or worse. Yet to me the expectation from the person making the demand is also not approrpiate.

Almost every month I am bullied, either verbally or physically, by another passenger who 'needs' my seat. Sadly, most people don't ask, they demand. And I have even had a mother shriek and curse at me for not moving, when I had a visible reason for preferring my assigned seat.

I have no issue helping people; I often do so even though I have limitations myself. But I don't expect others to assist me or put themselves out for me. I take responsibility for myself, and whenever possible help those who need it.

And as a closing comment, for all the times I chose to deboard and not fly rather than inconvenience someone else, I have never seen a family choose to do so because they could not get their desired seats.

As a business flyer, I agree. I will miss flights to get a window seat (I have my reasons). I will pay extra out of my own pocket for that (my company does not pay for upgrades). And I am often asked and even "bullied" by women for my seat so they can sit with their families. I will move for kids, but not adults.

That said, I would never recline into a seat with a lap baby...

 

[collcass]

I don't think it will be an issue either. I used to fly often by myself with two of my children .The baby was always a lap child and I never had a problem even when people did recline.

 

[princess pooh]

I've taken four flights with my child as a lap baby and each time the person in front of me reclined their seat. All those flights were fine! Those were 5 hour flights too and I didn't recline my seat because it bothers my back. I'd do it again in a second if it meant going on vacation again

 

[pktbMouse]

Well Im not going to stress about it anymore..(I think)..I will definitly ask at the check in desk and see what they can do to help me, if that dosnt work I will nicely ask the person in front and hope I get someone understanding. The baby is 9 months old and Im sure you Moms will understand that hes is going through a "Im not going to anyone except Mom' period..not even hubby..hubby does work long hours and really only sees the baby for an hour each night, my family are all in Scotland too so Im the only person that he will go to right now (which Im working on..believe me!!) I just know if I try to pass him to hubby on the flight he will roar the place down and there is nothing worse than a bawling baby in an enclosed space. My other thought was as we are up the back mabey they will let me walk about/stand for a bit with him. Normally we dont leave it this late to book flights but as I said this was a last minute vacation...we felt we needed it. I lost my brother last year suddenly when I was pregnant and this year we got a lot of damage from Hurricane Ike..last week my little boy (6yrs) lost his beloved dog to cancer so that was the final straw..we decided we needed something to lift our spirits. Whatever happens I wont let it ruin my trip..(nor will I let my 6yr old son play "snap" on their tray table at the back of their seat, stick my knees in really hard, let the baby roar for 2 hours in their ear or shake up a bottle of sprite and open it when they say no.....honest I wont )

 

[Kathymcbain]

I know this is an older post, but I would gladly not recline on a short flight like that if there was a baby behind me and the person sitting behind me asked me not to. I couldn't be trusted to notice on my own though, cause I'd be flying with 3 kids myself...so I don't have time to see who's behind me!

That said, last summer I was flying from Hawaii to Michigan on an overnight flight...I typically use miles to upgrade to first class because I fly a lot, but I couldn't. So, I logged in 24 hours before my flight to pay extra for a bulkhead seat. Anyway, about an hour into the flight, a single woman behind me woke me up and asked me to put my seat up because she was uncomfortable. I hate to say no to anyone and I'm extremely non-confrontational, but after about 30 minutes of sitting upright and not being able to fall asleep, I put it back again. She gave me the dirtiest look when the plane landed...but really, that particular airline allows anyone to check in 24 hours early and to pay $15 extra for the bulkhead and exit row seats. Since she was a single adult, she could have paid a few extra dollars for a lot of added comfort on a long plane ride.

Obviously your situation is different, and on a short flight I would be completely fine with it.

However, if you haven't gone yet, I'd say get to the airport early and see if you can change your seats. I'm almost always able to change my seats on the day of my flight. If you booked them online, you can also check to see if other seats open up and you should be able to change them if that's the case. People's plans change, so it's always possible that something will open up.

And, I used to fly with my daughter on my lap quite often and I don't ever remember noticing if the person in front of me had their seat down or not, it must not have been that big of a deal.

Okay, one last thing, are their preferred seats that are not sold until the day before the flight? I know Northwest does that with their bulkhead and exit row seats. With a baby, the exit row is out, but I ALWAYS tried to get the bulkhead seats with my dd when she flew on my lap so she could play in front of the seat when we were allowed to stand. I think United might have some preferred seats that they hold and allow customers to pay extra for 24 hours before the flight as well. It might be worth looking into.

 

[Aliceacc]

As a business flyer, I agree. I will miss flights to get a window seat (I have my reasons). I will pay extra out of my own pocket for that (my company does not pay for upgrades). And I am often asked and even "bullied" by women for my seat so they can sit with their families. I will move for kids, but not adults.

That said, I would never recline into a seat with a lap baby...

We very seldom fly; this "two consecutive years at Disney thing" is a total fluke for us.

But I do want to thank you and Bavaria, and others who accomodate families, on behalf of all those you've helped over the years.

And it does seem wrong to me that people assume that having kids means you can do little or no planning and assume that the world will accomodate you. In my little corner of the world, having kids means you need MORE planning-- you don't leave it to chance or someone else's kindness to get the things that are important to you.

 

[lovemyguys]

This if kind of off topic but I think that any time you go to recline your seat you should look behind you. The person behind you may have a cup with soda in it on their tray, they may be playing cards, they may be writing with a pen and paper and using the tray and when you (not any of you personally) deside that you need to lean back it effects my use of my tray. While I think that it is just common curtisy to not allow my children to open/close/open/close their tray table that is buumping your seat, or swing their legs and bump your seat, or talk loud, or stand up infront of their seat and hold on to the top of yours, etc.... I also think that if my son and I are playing cards and using the tray table and out of no-where the seat infront of us comes reclining all the way back it is rude. Now if you were reclined all the way back and taking a nap I would NEVER push your seat up and say "oh well, I have the right to use my tray table and the way I need to use it can not be done with you laying like that. So I do think that before you recline back you should always look and see if the person behind you is using their tray for something before you decide that your right to recline is more important. ANY time I have reclined (VERY rare) I have ALWAYS turned in my seat, looked over the top of the seat and said (if they were not using their tray) excuse me, I just wanted to let you know that I am going to recline my seat some. Or if the person is using their tray I will say "excuse me, when you are no longer using your tray table could you tap the seat so I can recline back a little bit. No hurry though." JMHO!

 

[Schmeck]

The trays on all of the airplanes I've ever flown on 'self adjust' when the seat is reclined - never had a drink spill or anything when the person in front of me reclined.

 

[bumbershoot]

OP have you had your flight yet?


I don't think you'll absolutely have someone who reclines. I personally never recline; at 5'3" with a longer torso than legs (relatively? literally? not sure, but my 5'10" stepmom and I are almost the same height when sitting and she is all leg) I'm struggling to keep my toes on the ground sometimes, and to recline would make it even worse!

So you could easily get someone like me in front of you.

Then again, it never bugs me when someone reclines in front of me either; I can't remember if someone reclined during our one roundtrip with a lap baby (NEVER AGAIN), it was difficult no matter what!