AGGHHHH Kids did I over react??

[emmoms]

We never allowed the girls (now grown) to spend time at friends' homes when we knew that there would be no parental supervision.

As for being a mean mom, I guess I at least had that title. DD1 announced to the world when she was around 7 yo that that's what MOM stands for: "Mean Old Mom"! I held that title for quite a number of years. Dad didn't get to be "Dreadfully Awful Dad" until the teen years.

There is hope, though. The girls (now 28, 26 and 23) told us during their college years that our strictness had paid off in a way that we hadn't anticipated. All of their high school friends knew about the rules we enforced and there came a time when each of them, on their own, was able to use the excuse: "You know my mom, she'll never let me do that." when they didn't feel comfortable with participating in something friends suggested. Our rules gave them the "out" to save face by saying no and blaming it on us. So stick to your guns! You definitely may be helping DD in the long run as well as in the short run!

 

[CJMickeyMouse]

When you picked up your daughter, does that mean you left the other little girl home alone? Maybe her parents thought that the two 12-year olds could take care of themselves and watch each other, but are going to come home and find their little girl all alone. I guess it's not your problem, but I would have felt weird leaving the other girl alone.

I don't think the OP overreacted at all. As for the other girl - if her parents allow this to go on - without informing the other parents involved - I don't think my daughter would be allowed back.

I guess it wouldn't matter to me at that point. She knows the rules of her house and if there was a problem when i took my daughter out of the house, then it's her responsibility to solve it.

JMO.

BTW I have boys - 15 and 13..... there are about three people (friends) that they would be allowed to have over when we are not home - and I would require that we and the other parents knew about the situation.

I am the queen of the mean mommas. Join the club!

 

[DisneyLovingMama]

I don't think the OP overreacted at all. As for the other girl - if her parents allow this to go on - without informing the other parents involved - I don't think my daughter would be allowed back.

I guess it wouldn't matter to me at that point. She knows the rules of her house and if there was a problem when i took my daughter out of the house, then it's her responsibility to solve it.

I'm not saying I thought she overreacted, I was just thinking about the girl left behind. Plus, (if I read the thread correctly - if not, please correct me) it was the OP's daughter that lied to the other girl's parents, saying her parents knew the situation. So, it's not entirely the other parents' problem. JMO.

 

[kaylajr]

When you picked up your daughter, does that mean you left the other little girl home alone? Maybe her parents thought that the two 12-year olds could take care of themselves and watch each other, but are going to come home and find their little girl all alone. I guess it's not your problem, but I would have felt weird leaving the other girl alone.

OOPS should have cleared that up

no the other girls parents were called and told DD was leaving
they were under the impression that the girls had told me too

 

[Good Ol Gal]

I think I am a Co-Founder of the Mean Mommy Club!!

You did the right thing Kayla! I am so glad that she didn't get hurt anymore than a burn.

Well I was a latch key kid and spent every day, ALL day alone starting from 9 on.

I am blessed that I am alive still the things that I did while my parents were working.
I would spend every day sitting on the curb of the main road through our town (you know the ones where the 18 wheelers have to drive down) and try to get them to honk their big horns. Thank goodness nothing ever happened to me.

 

[MoniqueU]

That's an awful long time to be alone unsupervised. I have never let my son have friends over while I leave him home alone, just for an hour or two here and there. I don't want the responsibility of what if something happens. I have let him stay at a friends house with older siblings but while I was home in the neighborhood or at the local store or something.
Lying on top of it would of been an instant your DONE for.

 

[CJMickeyMouse]

I'm not saying I thought she overreacted, I was just thinking about the girl left behind. Plus, (if I read the thread correctly - if not, please correct me) it was the OP's daughter that lied to the other girl's parents, saying her parents knew the situation. So, it's not entirely the other parents' problem. JMO.

I think you are correct.... and I completely understand what you are saying, but in my mind...... with 12 year olds.... I think it's the parents' responsibility to do the communicating and make SURE that the other parents are aware of the situation.

I know, she should be trusted..... but IMO this is a situation where there was reasonable doubt as to whether or not the other parents would be comfortable with the situation. So the parents should have contacted Kayla personally - the same way she made sure the other girl's parents were contacted when she took her daughter home.

Told you I was mean!

 

[Kermit]

I would never leave young children alone together for that long unsupervised. I would leave most 12 year olds alone for a few hours, and I might even leave two 12 year old friends together for under an hour, but I think it's actually more dangerous to leave friends together when they're that age. I think you did the right thing.

BTW, if I were the parents, I also wouldn't have taken your DD's word for it that she'd gotten your okay. I think it's a little odd that they didn't speak directly to you.

 

[DisneyLovingMama]

OOPS should have cleared that up

no the other girls parents were called and told DD was leaving
they were under the impression that the girls had told me too

Okay, then I'm 110% on board with you!! (I'm sure you'll sleep better tonight. )

I only wish my only child problems will be wondering if my daughter's too big of a chatterbox. Never mind lying and burning herself. I'm not ready for that!!

 

[luvflorida]

Okay, maybe I'm REALLY an overprotective parent, but my youngest daughter is 15 and I still don't allow her to spend time at a friend's house without a parent being home. We also have a rule at our house where I won't allow friends over unless there is a parent around.

I'm just not comfortable with leaving young kids or teens alone. I would feel horrible if something happened at my house and there was no adult around. My daughter's friends, and parents, know that I expect a parent to be home if my daughter is at their house. This has never been an issue. It's natural for my daughter to ask if a parent will be home. If the answer is no, then she knows she isn't going over.

So, no I would never leave a 12 year old, for any length of time, at a friend's house with no adult supervision.

 

[lulugirl]

I would have done the same thing.