Age difference in a relationship..

[gracie1]

Sure, that's the best of all world for you. I'm happy for you, honestly. However, I prefer having my dh who is 11 years older, who I deeply love, who deeply loves me, and to whom I have been married for more than 4 years. That's the best of all possible worlds for me.

I didn't set out looking for an older man--in fact, my first husband was 3 years younger. I happened to fall in love with DH regardless of his age.

Well said
I didn't intend for this thread to cause any fights or anything. I just want to be clear about that! I was just curious how others are dealing with an age difference in a relationship since I for one do the age difference relationships.

 

[JoiseyMom]

I am 7 1/2 years older then DH. Age has never been an issue in our relationship...we joke about it all the time though!

Once I was divorced most of the men I wound up dating were younger then me. I didn't plan it that way, but it happened. I did date one guy early on who was 10 years older then me...OMG...what a bore!! It had nothing to do with his age, but with him as a person. I have to say, I had lots of fun dating younger guys . I guess it didn't hurt that I didn't look my age, or the mom of 2!!

To this day, when I am with my 13 and 8 year old, and people find out I have 2 sons 25 & 26 they are surprised .

Age is a number...it really doens't mean much. It is the person and who they are that matters.

 

[Mandychelle79]

DH and I are just over 9 yrs apart.

 

[bicker]

My wife is ten years older, and we've been together for almost 20 years, and married for over 16 years.

 

[hellokitty86]

My husband is 6 years older than me.

 

[a paper star]

I honestly don't have a problem with age gap relationships. As long as it is legal, both are adults and are free to do as they please.

I have for a long time had an attraction to older men. I am trying 'dating' guys my age but I really don't know if it's for me.
I consider myself an old soul and I'm an only child and have always been more comfortable around people older than me rather than people my age. I also have father issues and think possibly that plays into this. I also agree about older men being more stable most younger men have no idea about what they want.

I think all that matters is if you love each other. I have heard of several marriages that have had an age gap and lasted 25 or 30+ years.

 

[gracie1]

I honestly don't have a problem with age gap relationships. As long as it is legal, both are adults and are free to do as they please.

I have for a long time had an attraction to older men. I am trying 'dating' guys my age but I really don't know if it's for me.
I consider myself an old soul and I'm an only child and have always been more comfortable around people older than me rather than people my age. I also have father issues and think possibly that plays into this. I also agree about older men being more stable most younger men have no idea about what they want.

I think all that matters is if you love each other. I have heard of several marriages that have had an age gap and lasted 25 or 30+ years.

I have tried dating guys my age too. It's a whole different world to date a man in their late 20's versus one that is in his late 30's to mid 40's. I like the fact that they have had time to get all their partying out of their system and commitment issues. Not saying that all men have committment issues but at a younger age I don't think their as sure as someone in their 40's. I honestly don't know the last time I dated someone that wasn't 15-16 years older than myself!

 

[4nana]

DH and I have 10 yr age difference, I am 62yo and DH 72yo. Thus far, we’re still going strong, recently celebrating our 45th anniversary . I'm blessed and wouldn't consider trading him in!

Luckily we’re both very young at heart, share a wonderful life with many similar interests and deep love for family, etc. Other than some arthritis he is in excellent health and I joke that he will out last me by a long shot!! My Mom and Dad had a 13 yr age difference and were married 56yrs when we lost dear Dad. DH’s parents were 18 yrs. difference and married 40 yrs before passing.

I say too each his own ! Personally I think age is just a state of mind ….I know some 40yo that act 80, some 80yo that act 40 . Don't miss out on love and happiness because you fear what an age difference might bring or people's opinion.

 

[ecuagoddess]

Also, I worry about societal judgment and judgment from my family and friends - this would not stop me from being with someone I loved, but I think it would be very wearying to constantly have to feel like you had to explain yourself, or to feel that strangers were judging you.

DH is 24 years older than me. As for the various stereotypes:

-My dad was (and still is) an excellent father and friend. We have a very strong relationship. No father figure issues here.
-When DH and I met, I had been a single mom to DD for 3 years, and because of that was way more mature than many others my age. People who know me have always called me very old for my age. Anyway, I'm educated and have a good job, so I was providing for myself and DD on my own, I didn't need someone to save me.
-DH had never been married before me and has no children on his own. No "young stepmom" type problems.

We have the same sense of humor, same values, same philosophy regarding finances, same position on education, many of the same interests. In short, we feel that we're made for each other and it works nicely!

The reason I pointed out your quote above is to say that there is nothing to "explain"- you are adults in an adult relationship, and the only opinions that matter are yours and his. And so what if strangers judge you? They are going to judge you all your life, you can't let something like that bother you.

 

[Serena]

I think because of a thread on her a while back about being attracted to younger men and I said that I really hadn't been attracted to younger men at all.
Well, in came three in my life. One was my boss, he was 16 yo younger and we both talked about that there was no way with us working together. Other differences as well, but that was the main one.
Another that was 20 years younger, the chemistry was there, but so was 20 years, and we worked together. We are still friends. He's married now.
And then another that was 16 yo younger. He was my teacher, I still have a crush on him, but I haven't seen or talked with him in a while, and he could be taken for all I know, we didn't get too personal at school.

So, I have changed my thoughts on that. Or it was changed for me. I am a open to more possibilities now.

 

[jsmith]

I think relationship success or failure is more a product of the individuals than their ages-DH and i are the same age and have know one another since highschool-married 26 years.
My sister in law has been with a man 27 years her senior for more than 10 years-she is 40 he is 67 they are not married but are very happy together and her parents think he is wonderful. She has some unusual health issues and he takes great care of her.
on the flip side of that- i have a dear friend who is my age-48. We went out for her SOs 33rd birthday sunday-i swear i have never seen two people more in love-they were both widowed and have seven children ranging from mid 20s to 3 between them-but it seems to be working great-exept that her mother dislikes him intensly just on the basis of his age-despite the fact that he has bent over back wards to help her ( the mom) thru some difficult times when my friends father passed away. Mom says no woman should date younger it just brings heartache and fails to see how happy her daughter is with this man.

 

[Angelhalo]

Does anyone here have experience in age difference in a relationship?

I have always date older than myself by about 15 years. But just wondering if anyone has been in this type of relationship and has it been successful? Do people think differently because of the age difference?Just different things I wonder about.

For the record...in case it matters I am almost 30.

My last relationship before my husband there was a 20 year age difference. In the end, it is what ended the relationship. I was was in my 20's and he was in his 40's. I loved him but I kept envisioning what it would be like when I was 45 and he was 65. I just couldn't get past it no matter how hard I tried. I'd wake up in the middle of the night in a cold sweat just thinking about it. My friends kept telling me that age didn't matter and would share their own stories of their relationships with age differences but in the end it has nothing to do with whether your friends have a problem with it, or whether it worked for them, it ends up being how YOU feel about it.

 

[Angelrose]

My DH was 10 years older than me. We were married for almost 44 years. We had the most wonderful life together before he passed in June. I was 20 and he was 30 when we got married. We have one son and he is a treasure. We laughed and said "I love you" every day we were together. He helped me so much and gave me self confidence that I never had before we were married. He was truly one in a million and I miss him.

 

[Tink888]

My DH was 10 years older than me. We were married for almost 44 years. We had the most wonderful life together before he passed in June. I was 20 and he was 30 when we got married. We have one son and he is a treasure. We laughed and said "I love you" every day we were together. He helped me so much and gave me self confidence that I never had before we were married. He was truly one in a million and I miss him.

Just wanted to say that I'm very sorry for your loss.

 

[monkey68]

I have no problem for other people wanting to date and marry older/younger people. But for me personally, I couldn't imagine being in a relationship with someone that close to my parents age. It just weirds me out.

 

[jfranklyn]

My husband is 20 years older than me. We married when I was 30 and he was 50. To be honest, I rarely think about it, and usually when I do it's in relation to music or something like that. I hear a song and picture my 7th birthday, he hears the same song and pictures his first child being born! That sort of thing. But in reality, it's not a big deal anymore - and no one cares. I sometimes fear for our two kids because they may not have a father as long as other kids do, but I try to look at it this way: He's older, he knows the value of time with your kids, so he spends less time on his career and more with his kids, because he knows it won't be forever. So I think in that way it's a good thing. He'll retire next year and be able to attend every soccer game and every dance rehearsal - and he's excited about that. In the end - life is what it is. You fall in love with someone because of who they are, not because of how old they are. We've been married 13 years now, and I wouldn't have it any other way.

 

[AmericangirlinFrance]

DH is 24 years older than me. As for the various stereotypes:

-My dad was (and still is) an excellent father and friend. We have a very strong relationship. No father figure issues here.
-When DH and I met, I had been a single mom to DD for 3 years, and because of that was way more mature than many others my age. People who know me have always called me very old for my age. Anyway, I'm educated and have a good job, so I was providing for myself and DD on my own, I didn't need someone to save me.
-DH had never been married before me and has no children on his own. No "young stepmom" type problems.

We have the same sense of humor, same values, same philosophy regarding finances, same position on education, many of the same interests. In short, we feel that we're made for each other and it works nicely!

The reason I pointed out your quote above is to say that there is nothing to "explain"- you are adults in an adult relationship, and the only opinions that matter are yours and his. And so what if strangers judge you? They are going to judge you all your life, you can't let something like that bother you.

Thanks - this is another good point to keep in mind.

I have really enjoyed hearing from all the poster that have shared about their age-gap relationships - thanks everyone for sharing. It has definitely given me a lot to think about in regard to my own relationships.

 

[Disney Doll]

I don't think I'd go more than 10 years in either direction....seems like too many generational differences for me to deal with.