African-American Southern Baptist funeral services

[Liberty Belle]

I just attended one today and boy was it different than any funeral I'd ever been to. I've never been to an AA Southern Baptist service before, though, so I don't know if it was typical.

It lasted an hour and 45 minutes. Does anyone know if that's generally how long they last, or does it vary greatly? Almost all other funerals I've attended have only lasted between 20 and 45 minutes.

There was some absolutely beautiful singing. Three people sang and their voices were just amazing.

I guess I'm still just kind of in culture shock from it. Now I'm curious about other churches and religions and how their funeral services differ.

 

[MidgeD79]

I went to my first one 5 years ago and you must have had the short version. It was more a celebration of life than sad. The clothes were colorful and the singing beautiful. I was exhausted emotionally and physically.

 

[Liberty Belle]

I went to my first one 5 years ago and you must have had the short version. It was more a celebration of life than sad. The clothes were colorful and the singing beautiful. I was exhausted emotionally and physically.

Wow. I had to text my husband and have him come home so someone would be there when my son got off the bus.

No, it definitely was not somber. It was very energetic and seemed more like a Sunday service, than a funeral.

 

[SydSim]

Yup, that's the norm. Also, typical of Sunday morning service. That's why i always thought it was kind of funny when some Catholics I know complain when their mass lasts for over 1/2 an hour sometimes

 

[Disney Ella]

Yup, that's the norm. Also, typical of Sunday morning service. That's why i always thought it was kind of funny when some Catholics I know complain when their mass lasts for over 1/2 an hour sometimes

One of the people at my office was asked to speak at a church service a few years ago. She loved it, especially the choir, but she didn't expect to be there for 3 hours! I hope the pews are cushioned. I don't know if I could last 3 hours on a wooden pew.

 

[Snoopymom]

Lyle Lovett was inspired - Joshua Judges Ruth with Francine Reed..."I went to a funeral, Lord it made me happy"

and Church

And the preacher he kept preaching
Long is the struggle, hard the fight
And I prayed, father please forgive me
And then I stood up and with all my might
I sang

To the lord let praises be
It's time for dinner now let's go eat
We've got some beans and some good cornbread
And I listened to what the preacher said
Now it's to the lord let praised be
It's time for dinner now let's go eat

LOVE the whole CD!

 

[Judy in Texas]

I went to my first one 5 years ago and you must have had the short version. It was more a celebration of life than sad. The clothes were colorful and the singing beautiful. I was exhausted emotionally and physically.

I attended this type of service some years ago for a well known/liked co-worker. I was one of the few non-African American's left at the 3 hour mark. I hated walking out but I had no ties to him or the family other than passing him in the hallway once in a while. I wish I had known going in what to expect. I would have been better prepared.

 

[eliza61]

I went to my first one 5 years ago and you must have had the short version. It was more a celebration of life than sad. The clothes were colorful and the singing beautiful. I was exhausted emotionally and physically.

We can get long winded to say the least.
Liberty, Funerals tend to be very joyous because we view them as "home going services" so basically the person in going to be with Christ ( a very good thing) When my mom died we had a wake or visititation the night before which was a bit more solumn.
The funeral we wore white (which my caucasian friends almost passed out over. ) and it was definitely up tempo gospel except for a few "amazing grace" type hymns.

I won't even begin to tell you about the dinner after the service....

 

[Va-bear]

I went to my first one 5 years ago and you must have had the short version. It was more a celebration of life than sad. The clothes were colorful and the singing beautiful. I was exhausted emotionally and physically.

That's what I was going to say! I have been to some about that length, but also some that were muuuuch longer. My DH's grandmother's service was over 3 hours and had an intermission (thank goodness - I was 8 months pregnant and it had been a loooong day). Heck, when his dad was made the bishop of his region the service was about 4 hours long and no break. But, you'd never know it .... the time flew even for my sons who were quite young. The singing, dancing, and general joy made it all fly by.

I am very sorry to hear of your friend's passing.

 

[Liberty Belle]

That's what I was going to say! I have been to some about that length, but also some that were muuuuch longer. My DH's grandmother's service was over 3 hours and had an intermission (thank goodness - I was 8 months pregnant and it had been a loooong day). Heck, when his dad was made the bishop of his region the service was about 4 hours long and no break. But, you'd never know it .... the time flew even for my sons who were quite young. The singing, dancing, and general joy made it all fly by.

I am very sorry to hear of your friend's passing.

Thank you. It was actually my friend/co-worker's mother who I've never met, but from what was said she was definitely a strong-willed woman.

 

[disneyjunkie]

Sounds normal to me. Funerals last a few hours and are loud.

When my dad's mom died we all wore white. When my dad died, we wore black

My mom's mother wants the family to white to her funeral.

Man, talk about food. Take the largest holiday feast you can think of and increase it by 10.

 

[Liberty Belle]

Sounds normal to me. Funerals last a few hours and are loud.

When my dad's mom died we all wore white. When my dad died, we wore black

My mom's mother wants the family to white to her funeral.

Man, talk about food. Take the largest holiday feast you can think of and increase it by 10.

I don't remember seeing a lot of white clothing. Mostly black and a few other darker colors.

During the second half of the service, I could smell the food cooking downstairs. It smelled like Thanksgiving!

Oh, another thing...I work with a woman from Kenya. She's only been here about a year and is from a rural area in Kenya so says things are very different here. Anyway, she told me that in Kenya neighbors and friends basically move into the grieving family's home and completely take care of them after they've lost a loved one. I thought that was so nice and mentioned it to another co-worker of mine (who is African-American/black - family's been here for generations, I mean) and she said that a lot of AA families do this here in America, too. I had no idea. What a lovely custom!

 

[laurafergie]

I spent a lot of time in an AA Southern Baptist church when I was little with some ladies that worked on my grandparents farm. (I'm white and this was the late 60s-early 70s) though I was raised Episcopalian. My memories are wonderful, warm and very positive. Lots of singing and lots of great food after-wards. Funerals were long, I guess - but I have to say my grandfather's funeral (Southern, Scots-Irish) went on for quite awhile too when you add in the wake and the "at home" time. Two full days.

 

[Keli]

When my dd was dating a fella in the military and was deployed to Iraq, one of the men from his unit was killed. DD didn't want to attend the funeral here the states by herself so she asked me to come along.
The church itself was very interesting, about 120 yrs old and had been perserved very well and the service was much as you described. The music was incredible.